„Hey, what are you doing?", Niko asks as he enters the living room of our apartment in Helsinki. „I wanna finish the photo album and stick the last photos in. But as I flipped through the book and saw all those pictures, I lost myself in all the memories. Do you wanna join me?" „Oh yes, of course. I love to think about our story", Niko said excitedly before he sits down on the chair next to me and we look at all those pictures that capture the most beautiful memories. The one that now catches my attention was taken almost seven years ago at a small gig in the 45 Special in our hometown Oulu.
It all happened one and a half years after the day Niko and I had finally confessed our feelings. I was still studying in Helsinki while Blind Channel was touring Finland. A small tour in their homeland after they had visited the United States for the second time. The last gig of the tour was played in Oulu but luckily, I wasn't that busy so I could go there and have some fun. Since it was an underage show, Niko's sister, who loved the music as much as I did, could come too.
She liked me a lot before Niko and I became a couple but after we revealed our relationship, she took every opportunity to meet me. Niko likes to say that little man and I were like a second pair of parents because Aliisa admired us so much. Thus, her parents brought her here early in the morning and we both then helped the band to prepare the gig.
„Shit", my boyfriend suddenly cursed after we could hear a loud sound of glass shattering into thousand peaces. He had dropped the bottle of beer that he usually takes a sip of before the gig started to achieve the perfect mood. „Be careful don't cut yourself!" I immediately got some paper towels to clean up the liquid on the floor while Joel organized a vacuum cleaner to get rid of the sharp-edged shards. Niko, however, stood next to us, only staring at the ness he had created. „Well, hopefully the German saying that broken glass brings you luck is right", he mumbled so quietly that I had had problems to understand him.
„Hm?", I asked quietly but I received no answer. „What's up with you, today? You seem so... I don't know, not concentrated, as if your thoughts were far away and now you just randomly drop the bottle. Is everything fine with you?", I carefully lifted his head with my index finger under his chin. „I'm just nervous I guess", he murmured, avoiding my gaze. „But why's that? This is just a small show in front of less than a hundred people, not a big thing" I wondered and studied his face. He was definitely nervous, I could sense that, but I just didn't see the reason.
„That's nothing special, Niko is always nervous and excited before playing a show. Especially when it's a small one because we always want to achieve the same energy which is harder when there are only a few people in the audience. But we always want the gig to be as good as possible. I'm sure it's only that", Joel genuinely smiled at me. „You don't need to worry about him", he promised. Hopefully he's right. But even if not, this shouldn't take forever so maybe I'll eventually find out.
A few hours later, Aliisa and I sat at a table near the small stage, waiting for Niko to enter the stage. Finally Joel and Niko joined the other members on the stage, starting with Balboa. And oh, Joel was definitely right. The energy was the same as at every other show, no matter how big it was. Although the audience was not the same as at the gigs and there were more people who didn't know Blind Channel, they – once they knew the lyrics – immediately started singing along in the choruses and in general, they were vibing to the music.
But still, I could sense that something was wrong with Niko. The show was still great, definitely, but Niko seemed like he didn't really feel the music, as if his thoughts were somewhere else. This impression was proven as he once missed his cue in We are no saints. I knew something was off, but I had no idea what, I just knew I couldn't believe Joel. As far as I know, there were no arguments in the band he could be bothered by and also no other important meetings after this gig, they had a good label they were happy with. So there was nothing to be nervous about, at least from my point of view.
„If you've been to another gig of this tour, you might know that our next song usually is „Gun" but today, at our final show, we want to change something. The next song will be the one that apparently especially girls love to hear live: Sharks love blood!", Joonas introduced the next song. Okay, another song order..., I thought, having no idea why they changed the order. Does this have something to do with Niko's nervousness? But why would you be nervous because of a different setlist?, I wondered as Joel started to sing.
From the very start
You had my heart
You like them bad
And I like them crazy
I love you hard
Like sharks love blood
Like sharks love blood
Like sharks love blood
You jump, I jump
We're gonna be alright 'cause
We got mad love
Burning deep inside of us
You jump, I jump
We're gonna be alright 'cause
We got mad love
Burning deep inside of us
They just mock
Until we feed them
Feed them
Feed them to the dogs
Cute on top
Inside the kind of ugly that
Can not be photoshopped
Tell me all your deepest secrets
I can show you mine
From the very start
You had my heart
You like them bad
And I like them crazy
I love you hard
Like sharks love blood
Like sharks love blood
Like sharks love blood
You jump, I jump
We're gonna be alright 'cause
We got mad love
Burning deep inside of us
Watch them burn
For they will never
Never, never
Never learn
It's our turn
We'll be the king
And the queen of the dirt
Take me down the darkest trenches
Darling, I don't mind
From the very start
You had my heart
You like them bad
And I like them crazy
I love you hard
Like sharks love blood
Like sharks love blood
Like sharks love blood
Tell me all your deepest secrets
I can show you mine
Take me down the darkest trenches
Darling, I don't mind
Let them laugh
For them can
Never, never, never understand
We're doomed
We're damned
But even hell feels like home
When we're holding hands
So far, everything apart from the song order was like at every other gig. Until this moment came, the moment in which Joonas and Niko usually kissed. Although he was my boyfriend and most girlfriends weren't fine with their boys kissing someone else, I had no problem with that. They were best friends, they liked kissing, so why not? I knew that there were no feelings involved and therefore, I was totally fine with Niko kissing the guys. According to what Niko had told the boys when we revealed our relationship, I was allowed to kiss them, too, but so far, I hadn't been interested in that. My boyfriend's kisses were so good, I didn't need someone else.
Now, Niko went to Joonas and leaned in for a kiss. But instead of kissing each other, both men suddenly pulled away and Niko went from the left side to the middle of the stage again. What the fuck?!, I thought. Why didn't they kiss? And why did they pretend to kiss and then pulled away? I would have understood it if one of them had suddenly decided to not kiss his best friend but since both suddenly turned their heads away, this didn't look like a spontaneous decision.
You could already hear the confusion in some fans' exclamations, especially because with the kiss that hadn't taken place, the music had stopped to, as Niko looked in the audience and started talking: „As some of you might know, Joonas and I usually kiss after this part of Sharks love Blood and I see why you are irritated. But today", he now looked at me and in this moment, he seemed to be even more nervous than before the show, „I want to kiss someone else. Someone I hid from you for quite a while. And that someone is my wonderful girlfriend Sofia."
Confused, I looked at Aliisa who just grinned and shrugged. Should I now go on stage?, I wondered and frowned, but the question that had popped up inside my mind was answered as Joel walked closer to me, grabbed my hand and went back on stage with me, guiding me to Niko who now had turned to me so that we were looking at each other and the audience was to my left.
„Hey", he whispered and gave me a quick kiss. „Sofia, I just want to thank you for being the amazing girlfriend you are. You show me that I can truly be the Niko I am, you accept me with all my imperfections, you made me believe in love again. Sofia, I love you. I know that we haven't been in a relationship for too long and especially you are still quite young so people will say this is too early. But people would have said that about the moment we said „I love you" to each other, too, and there is no moment I regretted saying it the day we decided to take a step further and become boyfriend and girlfriend."
This is not what I think it is, right? He doesn't want to ask that question, does he?, I thought and couldn't believe his words. In the short pause he made, I repeated his words in my head: „People will say this is too early." He could only want to propose to me, right? What else should he mean by „this"? I could sense how my knees got weak and I started sweating because I suddenly felt so nervous. Nervous, I thought. This is why Niko had been so nervous the whole day! Because of this, because he probably wanted to ask me such an important question. And of course, that's also why Joel tried to calm me down. He knew about Niko's plans, the whole band knew, otherwise Joonas wouldn't have pulled away and the band wouldn't have stopped playing.
„What I wanna say is that, although we haven't been in a relationship for many years, I know that you are the right one, that you are the woman I want to spend my whole life with and the woman I want to be the mother of my children", while saying that, Niko kneeled down in front of me. That was probably the moment I realized he was actually going to do what I had in my mind but couldn't believe he'd do. The first tears started to form in my eyes and a quiet „Oh my god" left my mouth before he continued. „And that's why I now, with my favorite people around, want to ask you, my darling: Will you make me, the happiest man on earth, even happier and marry me?" With a quick movement, he pulled a small reddish box out of the big pocket of his trousers and opened it so that I was now looking at a thin, elegant yet beautiful ring.
At first, I couldn't say anything, his words made me speechless. Tears were now running down my face and all I could bring out was a quiet yet clear „yes", while I was nodding heavily. „Luckily", Niko sighed out of relief. Quietly but for me noticeable. Carefully, he put the ring on my finger and with his hands holding mine, he got up again. „Yes, yes I will", I, now that I could speak again, repeated. „Sorry for crying again but this was just so... emotional", I mumbled as Niko softly wiped away the tears with his thumb.
„Don't apologize. I couldn't hold back some tears either", Niko whispered. Be both were talking so quietly right now that, although we were after the applause had stopped surrounded by silence, only our partner could understand our words. The moment his lips landed on mine and we sealed the promise I had just made with one of the most loving kiss, the song continued – with the only difference that Joonas sang Niko's parts. Til the end of the song, we kept hugging tightly and sharing kisses, enjoying the first seconds as after our engagement.
You jump, I jump
We're gonna be alright 'cause
We got mad love
Burning deep inside of us
You jump, I jump
We're gonna be alright 'cause
We got mad love
Burning deep inside of us
We got mad love
Burning deep inside of us
From the very start
You had my heart
You like them bad
And I like them crazy
I love you hard
Like sharks love blood
Like sharks love blood
Like sharks love blood
Tell me all your deepest secrets
I can show you mine
Take me down the darkest trenches
Darling, I don't mind
As the song ended, Niko carefully guided me towards my seat again, making sure that I didn't stumble over my own feet because I was still crying slightly, my legs still felt like they couldn't hold my body and I was trembling but this time, it was out of pure surprise and happiness. Niko might be the happiest man on earth, I thought, but he's definitely not the happiest human on earth because that is me for sure. The smile on my face was probably wider than it had been ever before, I was incredibly happy. I couldn't imagine a better boyfriend and the fact that the man I had shared my first ever kiss with, who was my first boyfriend should also be my husband was everything I had ever wished for.
The moment I sat down and received another kiss from Niko who then made his way onto the stage again to continue the show, I was hugged tightly by Niko's sister. „Congratulations, Sofia! I'm so happy for the two of you! And maybe I also feel good because I always wished that you'd be Niko's wife and my sister-in-law and now this dream is actually coming true. I know you've somehow been part of my family before but now you really belong to my family, soon you'll finally be a 'Moilanen', too", Aliisa hugged me even tighter. „We'll talk about the name again!", I chuckled quietly before I hugged her back. „Oh Aliisa, I'm so happy, too. Having Niko as my fiancé and your whole family in my life is better than everything I had ever wished for my future family to be."
After the gig - that was freaking amazing again - had ended, Aliisa and I went to the small green room of the bar where the guys would have an after party to celebrate the end of the successful tour. Niko was the one to open the door and also the first one to run into the room. As soon as he had seen me and Aliisa, he made his way to us and wrapped his arms around my waist. „I love you so, so much Sofia", he whispered before he finally laid his lips on mine. „I love you, too", I replied as we pulled away to breathe again. „I had never expected you to propose to me but I definitely am the happiest woman alive."
As I thought about getting married to this perfect man, tears started to pool in my eyes again. I still couldn't believe that he had actually done that, that he wanted to marry me, a young and inexperienced woman. „You have now idea for how long I've had the ring with me wherever I went. I bought it a few days before our first anniversary, ready to ask you but then I thought maybe it was still too early although I was convinced I wanted you to be my wife.
Then we went on tour in the US and in Finland directly after that and as we met again the day before yesterday and it was as if nothing had changed, as if you were still happy with me and could deal with my being away for months, I knew that you were really the right one, that nothing could ever make us break up. That was when I made the decision to propose to you and luckily, the boys supported my idea from the beginning so they made this possible. We wanted to play Sharks Love Blood as the last song but as you have realized, I was way too nervous to play a whole show before so we had to improvise", he chuckled quietly.
He then looked at the guys who now stood around us, ready to congratulate us. „Thank you. Without you, this wouldn't have been possible. Especially thanks to you, Tommi. If you wouldn't have invited your best friend to my birthday party, I wouldn't be engaged today, neither would I be in a happy relationship. Probably I'd still call myself a Bad Idea – which I still kinda am but at least I can love again and I found someone who can deal with that – and I'd maybe still be any depressed dude. But now I'm the happiest man on earth who can't stop to permanently smile."
„You're welcome", Tommi answered while pulling my fiancé in a hug. „Congratulations to you. Although I had my doubts when you started to click and spent so much time with each other, I'm now so incredibly happy for you and Sofia, I'm glad I decided to convince Sofia to come with me." As they were having a short conversation, Joel embraced me.
„Congratulations, Sofia! And sorry for lying to you when you noticed that Niko was nervous." „No problem. I immediately knew that what you said wasn't the truth but now I know why you lied and I couldn't be happier. I mean, you couldn't say the truth", I chuckled. „Just telling me what Niko's later do... That wouldn't have been a good idea." Now Joel grinned, too. „You're right. Niko would have freaked out which I'd completely understand."
A few seconds later, Tommi pulled me in a hug. „Congratulations to my best friend for being engaged", he whispered. „One and a half years ago, as you told me Niko was your first kiss but you were not in a relationship, I thought you'd be the last one of my friends to ever marry. To be honest, I didn't even expect you to be in a relationship this early but even if, usually the first relationship is not the last one. But I'm so happy for you and Niko, you both look happier than ever before. Apparently true love does exist, I guess you are simply made for each other." I nodded before I replied with a „Thank you, Tommi."
„And now, let's party!", Joonas yelled as the guys had congratulated Niko and me and also Aliisa had the chance to be close to her brother again after she hadn't seen him for months. He immediately passed some bottles of beers around until everyone who wanted to drink alcohol – meaning everyone except Aliisa and me – had one. „Cheers", the guys clinked the bottles and started to eagerly empty them. „Don't worry, I'll only drink one or two beers, I don't want to get drunk. I don't want you to be the only one being sober and I definitely won't get drunk when my sister is in the same room. I might be a bad role model for fans because I don't want to be an idol to them but it's another story when it's about my family."
„Okay. I guess we shouldn't stay here for too long because Aliisa can't sleep here and I don't think she should party with us the whole night, especially not when the first people are drunk and not able to think about their behavior anymore. Maybe we can go to yours and Aliisa can sleep in our bed when she's tired?", I suggested as Aliisa was busy with talking to Aleksi about how happy she is that he joined the band. „Yeah, that's a good idea. But we would have to be a bit more quiet than usually", Niko chuckled. „Or maybe we can bring her home on our way to yours? Are your parents at home?"
„No, they aren't, otherwise they would have been here now I guess. But Joona could be at home. And if not, we'll find a way, too. I'm sure about that", Niko answered quietly before he placed a soft kiss on my hair and wrapped an arm around my back. „We are engaged... I still can't believe it." „Me neither... For me, this was even more a surprise than for you. I mean, you had planned that for a while but I was caught completely off guard. I wasn't even sure if you'd ever want to marry me because I always thought there are so many women better than me but I guess you are actually as happy with me as I am with", I snuggled up to him.
„Sofia, you are the best girlfriend I could ever wish for, of course I am happy with you and want you to be my wife. I love you so fucking much. Don't ever doubt that, okay?", he placed another soft kiss on my head. „Okay", I whispered and smiled as I felt his lips touching my hair. „And now let's enjoy this evening, okay? I wanna celebrate the successful tour and especially the ending, the fact that you said yes. I'm sure we all will have a lot fun."
And oh, he was so right. It was definitely an amazing evening, from the second the show started to the second we fell asleep in each other's arms. We all had a lot of fun and since I by now got used to partying with the guys, I wasn't as shy as in the beginning, I actually liked to joke with them and I even participated in their drinking games that I used to hate before. But with these men, everything was fun because they knew how to tease each other and ask the right questions during truth or dare or never have I ever, but they never crossed any border or made anyone feel uncomfortable.
Wow, what a long chapter! I hope you enjoyed it and after this, you forgive me for not uploading yesterday. Tell me what you think about this! Did you expect Niko ask this question this early? Next week, the last chapter of Cuddle Buddies will be up. My heard is already aching when I'm thinking about that... What do you think will happen in that chapter? Feel free to comment your thoughts :)