LUCAS
As I descend the stairs, my feet gently graze each step, creating a soft creaking sound that resonates through the air. The staircase, now lined with a plush, velvety carpet, offers a comforting sensation beneath my feet. Reaching the bottom step, I find myself standing in the familiar space of our living room, adorned with festive decorations. My eyes shift downward, drawn to the Christmas pyjamas I'm wearing. The fabric is soft against my skin, almost like a cozy embrace. The pattern matches my dad and Quincy's pyjamas. Each year without fail, dad insists that we all don these matching pyjamas and today is no exception. They look weird to me though. Don't get me started on the pyjama's vibrant colours that are all over the place. It's almost like someone has poured all the colours of the rainbow onto the fabric. It drives me so fucking crazy but since my dad and sister love them so much, I have no choice but to wear them. All I want is to see them happy and full of joy. They love christmas and look forward to it every year.
Dad always decorates the house, every corner of it. The air is infused with a magical aura and the house is bustling with festive decorations. Everywhere I turn, there are twinkling lights, shimmering ornaments and vibrant colours that bring the Christmas spirit to life. The living room is a winter wonderland, the tree standing tall in the corner and its branches adorned with an assortment of ornaments, each one carefully chosen to reflect our family's memories and traditions. Strings of sparkling lights are cascading from the branches, casting a soft enchanting glow across the room. Underneath the tree, gifts wrapped in colourful paper and ribbons eargely await their recipients.
The fireplace mantel has been transformed into an exquisite display of holiday magic. Festive garlands intertwined with golden ribbons ate cascading gracefully along its length. Stockings, lovingly knitted with each family member's name, are hanging in anticipation of being filled with surprises and treats. A collection of nutcrackers stand proudly, their wooden faces painted with intricate detail, adding a touch of whimsy to the scene. Even the rooms I rarely venture into are not exempt from my dad's creative touch. The hallways are lined with garlands full of pinecones and berries, creating a seamless path of holiday cheer. The bathroom features scented candles and delicate snowflake shaped soaps transforming it into a serene winter sanctuary.
As I stand in the midst of this festive wonderland, Quincy bounds up to me with a mischievous grin. She grabs my shirt pulling me down to her level and placing a fluffy Santa hat on my head. "Merry Christmas, Mr. Grumpy!" She exclaims, her big eyes shining with excitement.
She wraps her arms around me in a loving embrace and holds my hand leading me to the living room where dad is. He's comfortably sitting on an armchair next to the majestic Christmas tree with many presents nestled beneath. The three of us wrapped them together the past two days. "Good morning dad." I sit on the couch leaning back comfortably, Quincy sitting next to him on the floor.
"Good morning Alpha." Dad and Quincy are the only people who call me Alpha. It's an inside family name, a special bond that we share. Mum also used to call me Alpha before she left. Part of me misses hearing it from her.
"Dad and I decorated a gingerbread house." Quincy points at the decorated gingerbread house on the table. It stands tall, its walls made of fragrant gingerbread, golden brown and intricately designed with piped icing patterns. The roof of the gingerbread house is covered in a thick layer of white frosting, resembling freshly fallen snow. I can almost imagine the delicate crunch it'll make when I take a bite. Gum drops of various colours are carefully arranged along the edges, adding a burst of vibrant sweetness.
"It doesn't look good." I joke, taking the opportunity to tease her, even though the gingerbread house is well decorated and looks amazing. In an instant, she darts towards me, her tiny feet pounding the ground with each step. Before I can react, she leaps into the air, launching herself on me like a miniature superhero. Her small frame collides with mine and she rains punches on me as I laugh at her. For a small kid her punches are really painful. "The gingerbread house looks great. It's amazing so now get off me!" I shout to her as she continues punching me and laughing at me.
"Quincy, get off your brother." Dad tells her and she finally gets off me. She never listens to me, only dad. Such a stubborn and annoying sister I have.
"Dad, Lucas needs a haircut." She tells dad who glances at my long, unruly locks. For years since I was born I never go to a barbershop for a haircut. Dad has been my personal stylist, cutting my hair and is excellent in it. He has improved alot over the years and can give me any kind of haircut I want. He has honed his skills to perfection.
It's Quincy that we always take to the salon to get her hair done. She used to be scared of it but these days is okay and used to it because dad always stays by her side in the salon.
Dad gets up picking three Christmas sweaters on the couch, showing me. Immediately I shake my head at him and he laughs heartily. "There is no way I'm putting on that ugly sweater."
"It's not that ugly." Quincy shrugs next to me as we both look at the sweaters dad is holding. Atleast we both agree on this one.
"Dad, seriously, look at those sweaters, they're tacky." I point at the gingerbread houses, snowman, christmas tree and gingerbread cookies plastered all over them.
"Well, it's your loss, you two." He retorts, shaking his head. "I'll wear mine later and absolutely rock it."
We sit at the dining table to eat breakfast and everything smells amazing. The three of us cooked together and the result is a feast for the eyes and stomach, the table filled with many breakfast delicacies. Even though christmas doesn't mean much to me and I never look forward to it, I'm okay with it because I spend the time with my family. They bring all the joy to it. It's a complete christmas when you have your loved ones with you to share it with and build memories together.
"I have a present for you, the first present." I tell my dad and sister, getting up and going upstairs to my bedroom, coming back with a box and taking out two personalized coffee mugs.
"You're the best." Dad reads the inscription on his mug, a smile forming on his face. I had no idea what to get written on it so I just said what came to my mind.
"You're an awesome sister. From Mr. Grumpy." Quincy reads hers out loud.
I carefully chose the mugs to reflect their personalities. Dad's mug has a classic design, sturdy and dependable just like him. It's a deep navy blue with a matte finish, exuding a sense of strength and reliability. Quincy's mug, on the other hand, has a vibrant and whimsical design. It's adorned with colourful illustrations and quirky patterns, perfectly mirroring her creative and free spirited nature.
They both get up hugging me and thanking me before sitting down again. Even though they're simple and ordinary mugs, my dad and sister are ecstatic to receive them from me. The significance lies in the love and thoughtfulness behind the gifts. I take a bite of one of the chocolate donuts, its soft pillowy texture melting in my mouth. The rich cocoa flavour fills my senses as I sip the steaming hot cocoa. It's a comforting combination, the sweetness of the donut complementing the warmth of the cocoa. In our family, baking and cooking is a cherished tradition and my dad is a master in the kitchen. With each bite, I can taste the love and expertise he pours into each creation. The donuts are perfectly golden brown, their gaze glistening. "Mine is star shaped." Quincy happily shows me her star shaped vanilla frosted donut with colourful sprinkles.
"Dad, you over did yourself today." I pick one of the heart shaped red velvet waffles with cream cheese syrup drizzled elegantly over them, cascading down the sides and forming delicate patterns reminiscent of freshly fallen snowflakes. Everything on this table has some weird shapes, from reindeers, snowflakes to jolly santas, adding a touch of magic to the table.
"What can I say son, I love christmas."
Jakoda, Tk and Malin come to the house in the afternoon, their arms laden with beautifully wrapped presents for my family. We always exchange gifts on christmas, a tradition we never miss. Their smiles are infectious, reflecting the joy and anticipation filling the room. Jakoda's eyes are sparkling with excitement, Tk's cheeks rosy from the crisp winter air and Malin carrying an air of tranquility and contentment.
"Good afternoon, Mr. Adam." Tk greets my dad who is still busy watching a christmas movie with Quincy. I'd already forgotten about the movie and was almost falling asleep.
"Hello there, Tekhani." Dad returns Tk's greeting with a smile, getting up and placing the freshly baked cookies, cupcakes and muffins into three separate tupperware containers for my bestfriends to take home to their families. "Wish your families merry christmas for me."
Not wanting them to be noisy downstairs and distract my dad and sister from the movie, we head upstairs to my bedroom and I sit on the bed as they place the presents they've brought for me on the table. The gifts vary in size, shape and wrapping paper, each holding the promise of a special surprise.
"Those are your gifts." I point at their gifts that I arranged on the couch. Jakoda picks the nearest package and begins the unwrapping process, his nimble fingers tearing through the colourful paper. As the wrapping falls away, revealing the contents within, a sudden spark of surprise dances across his face. His eyes widen and a smile gradually spreads on his lips. The gift he's holding unveils itself, revealing a neatly folded stack of seven pairs of socks, each displaying a unique pattern and vibrant colour. All the socks I chose reflect Jakoda's vibrant personality. From bold stripes to playful polka dots, the patterns mirroring the vibrancy and variety that characterize his character. Each pair has its own distinct style, carefully selected to match different moods and occasions. I know him well enough and understand his preferences. "You've been complaining about not having enough pairs of socks, so I decided to buy you some."
Malin unwraps his gift revealing a black leather backpack. He kept mentioning that his backpack is torn and old and was planning on buying a new one. So I decided to get him one myself. The backpack has a padded laptop sleeve which provides a secure and cushioned space for his tech essentials, the smaller pockets perfect for storing pens, notebooks and other smaller items. Tk unwraps his gift, revealing a sleek black box adorned with a silver ribbon. As he lifts the lid, a soft gasp escapes his lips, his eyes widening in surprise and delight. Nestled in the box is an exquisite leather watch. The strap wraps around Tk's wrist, securing the watch with a polished silver buckle, gleaming in the light. The screen of his favourite watch cracked during one of our shifts at the restaurant, so this is the new one I've gotten for him.
"You're so observant and keen-eyed." Tk smiles admiring his new watch.
I'm always ready to alleviate any discomfort my bestfriends may face, however trivial it might seem to others.
"We decided to put our money together to buy for you one gift this year." Malin states giving me the gift. I unwrap the box and it's a Canon camera wrapped inside. "You're talented and gifted in photography and we want to support you more. Another camera will do you some good."
"You guys didn't have to buy this expensive camera for me. You should have kept the money for something more important." A part of me can't help but feel a twinge of guilt. I don't want to be a bother to them or anyone else. In my mind, there are more practical and important things to spend money on. I don't want to be a source of financial strain or inconvenience for those around me.
"Don't say shit like that. Buying you a camera was the most important thing." Jakoda quickly utters.
"You're talented and we want to support you. That's what friends do." Tk adds agreeing with him as I gaze amongst them. Their affirmation and support are like a balm to my weary soul, reminding me that I'm not alone in my journey. I gaze at each of them as my heart swells with warmth and admiration. With a sigh I get up enveloping them in a heartfelt hug, my gratitude overflowing and embracing them with the same warmth radiating within me. The hug is a silent acknowledgement of the trust we've built over time, the unwavering support we've offered one another and the unspoken understanding that we're stronger together. We do our handshake, a ritual that has become a symbol of our unity. Our hands intertwine, fingers interlocking and signifying the unbreakable bond we've forged. "We're a team, a family."
"To family."
As I look at the camera, I realize that accepting this gift isn't only about me. It's also about acknowledging the support of my friends and the faith they have in me. It's about recognizing that sometimes it's okay to allow others invest in our dreams and passions. By accepting their gift, I'm allowing them to be a part of my journey, to witness the moments I'll capture through the lens and to share in the joy of my creative pursuit. So in this moment, I make a conscious decision to let go of the guilt and embrace the gift with an open heart. I understand that my friends have chosen to pool their resources and invest in my talent because they believe in me. They want to see me flourish and succeed, and this camera is their way of showing their unwavering support.
"Thank you." I thank them sincerely, expressing my heartfelt appreciation for their love and faith in me. I promise to make the most of this incredible gift, to use it to capture the beauty of the world around me and to continue honing my skills in photography.
My dad serves them food in my room because I don't want them to eat downstairs and make noise to Quincy while she's watching the movie. She might throw something at them and I don't want that. My sister tends to get crazy and aggressive when angry. She's like a mad raccoon.
"I'm so ready to smash." Jakoda smiles picking one of the barbeque chicken wings.
"Speaking of smashing." He takes out his phone tapping on it quickly before putting it away. "There's a girl coming over to my house in the next ten minutes. I'm going to be up all night."
"Shut the fuck up. Can you not talk about boning some girl while we're eating. Don't be so disgusting." Malin warns him in irritation, already tired of his nonsense.
Ignoring the two idiots arguing like little kids, Tk glances at the tattoos inked on his arms as we continue eating together, enjoying the delicious meal. "I need to make an appointment with Karma so he can do a touch up on my tattoos."
Karma is the tattoo artist who did all our tattoos over the years, the four of us. He's also one of us closest friends.
Jakoda glances at Tk, curiosity evident in his eyes. "I wonder how you eat with that piercing." He muses referring to Tk's tongue piercing.
Tk grins and shrugs. "Honestly, I don't feel any difference when I eat. It has become so natural to me that sometimes I even forget that I have it." He runs his tongue over the small metal as if to confirm its presence.
Malin chimes in, pointing at his own eyebrow piercing. "I can relate. I have an eyebrow piercing and most of the time, I completely forget it's there until someone mentions it. It has become a part of my identity, blending seamlessly into my every day life."
The four of us finish the food, my dad serving us more. "What the hell happened between you and Mia last night at the party?" Amidst the cheerful ambiance, Tk brings up a topic that shifts the conversation tone. The question hangs in the air, momentarily silencing the laughter. "You had her on your lap right infront of everybody." He continues, the memories resurfacing vividly in my mind and I can almost hear the music pounding in my ears once more, a hint of embarrassment tinging my cheeks. "It's like you totally forgot that you had company. The two of you were about to ravish each other right infront of us. It was weird and crazy."
I don't know what came over me last night. I wanted to have Mia close to me, kiss her so deeply, confess to her that I like her so much, more than the air that I breathe and I'm crazy about her but I couldn't do it. I didn't have it in me to pour out all my feelings to her.
I'm so scared of what might happen to Mia and I if I confess my feelings to her. I hate how much I care for her because it makes me feel really weak. At the same time Mia deserves better than me. She is too good for me and as painful as it is to accept, it's the truth. I'm nothing but a fuck up and all I'll do is cause her pain.
"You know you can talk to us about anything that's bothering you. We're here for you." Malin softly says to me.
"I don't want to talk about Mia right now." I tell the three of them and they drop the topic instantly, not mentioning anything about her again. I don't want my personal problems to ruin this special day. So now, I have no choice but to pretend like everything is fine.
Well, merry Christmas to us.
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
🦋MIA🦋
Straightening my santa hut, I place the present back under the christmas tree, its vibrant wrapping paper adorned with bows and ribbons reflecting the joyful spirit of the season. Curiously, I give it a gentle shake imagining the delight it'll bring to its recipient. I rise from the floor making my way to the dining room and joining my family. Earlier in the day, my family and I embarked on a delightful adventure through our neighbourhood to witness the magical Christmas lights. Each house seemed to compete with the next, creating a mesmerizing display of twinkling colours and imaginative decorations. We strolled hand in hand, our faces illuminated with awe and wonder, marveling at the creativity and dedication poured into each festive tableau. We even got lucky enough to stumble upon a lively Christmas parade, complete with matching bands, floats full of shimmering tinsel and consumed characters that elicited delighted gasps from the crowd. We eagerly joined the spectators, our voices joining in the chorus of cheers and applause as the procession made its way through the streets.
As the evening settled in, we decided to spread some holiday cheer of our own. We gathered at the doorstep of our neighbours, clutching songbooks and brimming with excitement as we burst into harmonious rendition of beloved Christmas carols, our voices blending in perfect harmony. The surprise on our neighbours' faces quickly transformed into smiles and laughter, their hearts undoubtedly warmed by our impromptu serenade. Returning to the house, we sat together at the dining table to eat dinner as a family, laughter and conversations flowing freely amongst us. We exchanged heartfelt stories, relishing in the warmth of togetherness and the love that enveloped our family on this special day.
My mum and I baked gingerbread cookies together which is our mum daughter tradition. Dad, Tommy and King also decorated gingerbread houses together, their dad and sons tradition. We usually mess things up at the table with the colourful candies and tubes of icing but it's all about the fun. Our matching pyjamas, another cherished part of our family tradition, add an extra touch of coziness and unity to the occasion. Mum and dad always make sure to surprise us with new sets each year and we gleefully embrace the festive attire.
We already had dinner which we also cooked together as a family. We made so much food and we were all filled up. Right now, mum and dad want to serve my brothers and I the surprise dessert they made for us.
"It's cake o'clock!" King shouts happily, clapping his hands.
"Let's start with these as your mum and I bring the main dessert." Dad presents us with a plate of sprinkled cake pops.
I reach out and pick one, marveling at its perfectly round shape as he leaves the dining room. Tommy grabs a handful, stuffing his mouth before I can even take a bite. We end up fighting for the delicious treats, King on the side laughing and watching us with amusement.
Just as I'm about to snatch a cake pop from Tommy's grasp, our attention is diverted by a sudden shout from the kitchen. "Surprise!" Mum and dad's voices ring out exuberantly and we turn our heads, our eyes widening in astonishment. As our parents enter the dining room, they carry with them an enormous and breathtaking sight, a massive gingerbread village that covers half of the table, full of candy canes, gum drops and icing standing tall and proud, forming a whimsical village scene. The village is an architectural masterpiece with every detail meticulously crafted. Tiny gingerbread people are populating the streets, their icing smiles welcoming us into their sugary world. The houses are decorated with miniature wreaths and the windows glow warmly with tiny flickering lights.
I can't help but be enchanted by the scene before me. It's like stepping into a fairytale, a magical wonderland where imagination comes to life. The sweet fragrance of gingerbread fills the room, mingling with the scent of joy and togetherness. "Your dad and I worked on it for several hours, we broke so many of them and almost gave up after failing many times. We decided to continue trying and even asked a few chefs for advice. So here we are." Mum says with a smile and dad kisses her cheek, smiling too.
"Do you like it?" Dad asks my brothers and I.
"I love it." King answers still gazing at the gingerbread house in awe.
"I love it, it looks great." Tommy does the same, hugging our parents.
"I love it. Thank you for making this for us." I hug them too.
"Let the party begin!" Dad shouts in excitement and we all start breaking the gingerbread village, eating it happily. I laugh seeing how mum and dad are competing in eating the pieces they broke, same to Tommy and King. Tommy takes too big a bite and finds himself choking, dad gently patting his back and telling us to slow down so we don't hurt ourselves.
Time for unwrapping the presents comes and we head to the garage, dad clicking his remote and the door slowly opening, revealing his car impressive collection. He has more than fifteen cars in his collection after adding two more recently. We step inside, going to the farthest corner and he gives me one of the keys in his hand. "You've always wanted a jeep so here you go." Infront of us is a brand new glistening black Mercedes AMG G 63, standing tall and commanding attention. "Tommy, your new Ferrari." He gives Tommy the keys to a brand new red Ferrari 458. "You, my little man. Here is your car." Dad tells King who's already looking at his new white Lamborghini two seater mini car.
The three of us hug our parents happily before getting in our respective cars and jeep. I've wanted a jeep for a long time now and finally I have it. I'm beyond grateful for it.
We leave the garage going back to the house to watch a christmas movie together in the comfort of our home theater. Determined to focus on the present moment and escape the turmoil in my heart, I place my phone far away from me so as not to think about Lucas, call or text him. I don't know what's going on between us and I have no idea where we even stand. He pulls me closer but most of the time it's like he's pushing me far away. There are moments when our bond feels unbreakable, like an unspoken understanding that transcends words and fills the air with an electric charge. In those instances, his touch is gentle, his gaze intense as if he wants nothing more than to be near me. Yet, just as swiftly as he draws me in, he retreats, creating an emotional chasm between us. It's during these times that uncertainty gnaws at my heart, whispering doubts and feeding my insecurities. All this is so complicated and hurting.
For days now he has been avoiding me, completely. When I call him, he doesn't pick my calls. When I text, he doesn't reply and now I don't know what to do or think about his actions. Honestly, I have no idea if he even wants me or likes me. I don't know what I mean to him. All this constant pulling and pushing is confusing and hurting me.
I'm being totally ignored by the only person whose attention is the only thing I want the most. It hurts.
This is the pain that comes when you expect so much from someone only to end up getting disappointed.
Deep down I feel really bad for having the hope all this time. The bond between us has grown and is so strong and solid. Where did we go wrong for things to turn out like this?
I don't want to force myself on someone who has changed his mind about us and doesn't want me anymore.
"Everything okay?" I hear and glance next to me to Tommy whose eyes are full of concern. "You seem bothered, you haven't been your usual self for long now. What's wrong?"
"Nothing is wrong, I'm okay." I lie avoiding his eyes.
Right now I don't want to think about anything that has to do with Lucas and I. I only want to focus on my family.
Well, merry christmas to us.
☆☆☆☆☆☆
Merry Christmas!!!!