okay so.... hopefully you won't hate me after this one? im sorry about the last couple of chapters 😭
they're together in this chapter so yey!
———
On the seventy-eighth floor of the five-star rated hotel, there was a series of paintings on the walls in the hallway that depicted a sort of metamorphosis that was quite unappealing. Kaia could not understand why anyone would think it was anything short of repulsive. It was sure to give her nightmares for the next week.
And yet, she couldn't look away from the moth that was climbing out of its cocoon horrifically. She forced herself to turn around and stare straight ahead at the door to Taylor's suite.
She could hear music coming from one of the rooms down the hall but she was certain that Taylor's room in particular was sitting completely still. She raised her fist and rapped her knuckles against the door once more.
A whole minute passed but no one opened the door. It was almost eleven in the evening, but she was sure Taylor was not asleep yet. She went for the bell this time and a few seconds later, the door to the room on the right opened.
Kaia stepped back in surprise, glancing at the other door. She smiled when she saw Kamilah and took a step toward her, but before she could greet her, the singer was throwing herself at Kaia and wrapping an arm around her shoulders.
"Oh, thank god! She's been moping all day! Save us!"
Kaia raised her eyebrows as she was dragged into the room. She glanced back at her luggage standing there in the hallway and then back at the Kamilah. She spotted some of the other singers that toured with Taylor and waved at them but the blonde herself was nowhere to be found. Her eyes searched the room until she found her scrambling up to her feet from behind a blanket fort.
She stood in front of Kaia and gave her a tired smile. She didn't lean in to kiss her as she normally did, and neither did Kaia. She heard a muffled snort that sounded a lot like Jeslyn's but Melanie didn't even try to hide her laugh.
"All right, get out of here, you two. We'll play the music even louder."
Taylor turned around and flipped her off. "Oh, shut up!"
Kaia managed a little smile and took a step toward Taylor.
"Hi, how are you?" She started at the same time as Taylor said, "you wanna...?"
Taylor trailed off and pointed with her thumb toward the room next door. Kaia nodded, grabbed Taylor's hand, and started toward the hallway outside.
"Sorry guys, I'm just gonna steal her for a second," Kaia said, waving at the other girls who were watching them amusedly.
"Don't worry, we won't miss her tonight," Kamilah called out.
"Have fun, you guys!"
Taylor's hand felt heavy in Kaia's as they walked down the hall toward her suite. She pulled the keycard out of her pocket and pushed the door open, moving aside to let Kaia in first. She rolled her bag in behind her and left it on the side by the door as Taylor turned the lights on and locked the door behind them.
"So, how was your flight?" Taylor started, kicking off her slippers and sitting down on the bed.
Kaia slipped her backpack off and left it on one of the chairs in the room before slowly turning to look at Taylor, exasperated. "Are we seriously going to start with the small talk?"
"No," Taylor sighed, sniffling lightly. "But I'm too tired for anything else."
"Me too," Kaia admitted.
Taylor let out a breath and opened her arms wide, giving Kaia a smile that never quite reached her eyes. "C'mere," she murmured.
Kaia swallowed back the lump in her throat that had been stuck there for hours and kicked off her shoes before rushing over to Taylor. She collapsed by her side, throwing her arms around her waist and hugging her close. Taylor embraced her just as tightly, leaving a small peck on her temple.
"You're going to catch my cold," she murmured.
"I don't care," Kaia responded, clinging to the fabric of Taylor's t-shirt. "I missed you."
"I missed you too."
As they finally pulled away from one another, Kaia could still feel the tension between them. She knew they needed to talk things out but they were both way too tired to do so. Just for the night, Kaia wanted to forget about everything and just be there with Taylor. She hadn't felt the warmth she radiated in one too many weeks. She needed this.
"Do you mind if I just change first and then we can...?" she trailed off, shrugging her shoulders because she had no idea what else to say.
She hated this.
Taylor just nodded quietly and moved to sit under the bedsheets. Kaia noticed she was already in a pair of plaid shorts and a black t-shirt that belonged to her, an image of Sponge-Bob printed on the front with a few fading bits.
"When did you steal that shirt?" She asked with a little smile as she crouched down to unzip her bag. She turned to glance back for a second as Taylor pulled the front of the shirt to take a look at the picture.
"Half the clothes I brought with me are yours," she admitted softly. "The other half is divided like, ten percent mine, ninety percent tour-outfits."
Kaia laughed softly, opening her bag the whole way and rummaging through it to pull out a clean pair of pyjamas. "That adds up to a hundred and fifty percent."
"What— no, it doesn't. It's fifty percent your clothes, ten percent mine, nine—" Taylor paused, her face bunching up in that cute way it always did when she was deep in thought. Kaia grinned widely when Taylor shook her head. "No, wait. That's not even what I said! I was dividing my half of the clothes. So, that half adds up to a hundred— that's a lot of math."
Kaia's laughter grew and she nodded in agreement. "Yeah, my head can't handle numbers tonight. Or ever."
"Mhm, mine either," she huffed, turning to lay on her side. She slipped her hands under her pillow, squishing her face into it as she watched Kaia set the clean clothes on the back of the chair before turning back around to grab her toiletry bag.
When Kaia glanced back at her, she couldn't quite read her expression. Well, besides the fact that she was wiggling her nose in an attempt at holding back a sneeze. It didn't work, unfortunately.
"Bless you," she said softly as Taylor reached for the tissue box.
"Thanks," she mumbled halfway through blowing her nose.
Kaia snuck into the bathroom quickly and freshened up before walking over to the bed. She slowly made her way over to the other side and climbed up, staying over the covers. She noticed they could now hear a Brittney song playing loudly through the walls and she let out a chuckle.
"They really did raise the volume," she said under her breath.
Taylor slowly turned around to face Kaia and smiled lightly. "We've traumatised them one too many times."
"Can't exactly say I'm sorry."
That made Taylor's smile widen though it was interrupted by a yawn.
"Do you mind if we go to sleep?"
Kaia blinked at her before chuckling, eyebrows furrowed. "Yeah, 'course. Let me get the lights."
Kaia flicked the lights off on her side and moved under the covers really slowly. Taylor didn't move, only hugged her pillow closer. She understood this was Taylor's way of ignoring the whole problem but it still made her heart sink when she was freezing her out like that.
Kaia settled on her back, staring up at the ceiling, her hands resting by her sides. The quiet made her skin crawl. She wanted so badly to reach out to Taylor but she was worried that the blonde would push her away and she didn't think she would be able to handle such a rejection from her girlfriend just yet.
When she had been certain that Taylor had fallen asleep, Kaia was taken aback when Taylor's hand covered hers. She slipped her fingers through Kaia's and gave them a small squeeze. Kaia squeezed back three times and Taylor turned to lay on the other side again, pulling Kaia with her until she was spooning her, arms wrapped loosely around her waist.
"I lovoo," she mumbled, her words slurring together with exhaustion. "M'sorry I didn't say it back earlier."
Kaia let out the biggest possible sigh in relief and squeezed Taylor closer, face buried in her back. "I love you too," Kaia reassured her, leaving a kiss on the back of her head. "I love you, Taylor."
"I know," she whispered in response.
She didn't say anything for the rest of night, barely even moved in her sleep.
Kaia barely even got any sleep herself and when she did wake up early in the morning, Taylor was still asleep, snoring softly with her lips slightly parted. She probably couldn't breathe properly because of the flu.
Kaia sat for the longest time in bed, just watching Taylor try to breathe. She brushed her fingers through her hair, careful not to wake her up but she was clearly still sleeping pretty heavily. Her forehead was a little warm and Kaia worried she might have been coming down with a fever as well.
Leaving a small kiss on Taylor's forehead, she got out of bed and went to find the phone to order some room service. She couldn't do much about her girlfriend's cold but she could at least try and cheer her up with some breakfast in bed.
Kaia kept the food covered on the table in the corner of the room while waiting for Taylor to wake up. They had slept pretty early but she didn't even stir until it was well past ten. She must have been truly exhausted because even as she tried to sit up, it took a lot of effort and she was quite groggy and grumpy about it.
She rubbed her eyes with the back of her hands and scrunched her nose in discomfort. Kaia watched her with a little smile as she grabbed a tissue to wipe her nose and ran her tongue over her lips to wet them.
"Morning," Kaia started softly, squeezing Taylor's leg gently.
Taylor turned to her, still rubbing her right eye with her fingers and managed a very sleepy smile. "G'mornin', " she croaked out, her voice much thicker than usual, cracking halfway through the word.
Kaia grabbed an unopened bottle of water from her end table and handed it to Taylor who accepted it gratefully. She took a quick sip but when she tried to speak again, her voice still cracked. "Sleep okay?" she asked and then grimaced, holding her fingers to her throat and rubbing it gently. She took another sip of water, cleared her throat, and then frowned, clearly uncomfortable.
"It was okay, yeah. How are you feeling?" Kaia asked, placing the back of her hand on Taylor's forehead to check her temperature. "You're a little hot."
"Shh, I'm very hot!"
Kaia cracked a smile, dropping her hand back in her own lap. "That gruff voice is definitely doing it for me. Although, I'd have to ignore all these used Kleenexes," she responded, pointing at the balled-up tissues covering the whole bedside table next to Taylor. She added yet another tissue to the pile and smiled sheepishly at Kaia.
"What do you mean? Snot is definitely super se—" achoo! "—xy!"
Kaia let out a laugh, shaking her head lightly at Taylor. She leaned in, brushing her lips against Taylor's cheek in a kiss only for the blonde to turn her face the other way. Kaia froze in place as Taylor slowly reached for the tissue box and grabbed a new one to wipe her nose, but they had both realised exactly what had happened and it was hard not to let herself break down at that moment.
"Uh... so, I got breakfast," Kaia said, clearing her throat with a cough when her own voice wavered. She steeled herself, dropping her legs to the ground and walking over to the table to grab the tray of food. "Thought it might help make you feel better. Erm... yeah. I think I'm going to go for a workout. They've got a gym here, don't they? Yeah— oh, please take some medicine. You don't wanna lose your voice before your next show, and I think you might have a fever. Ice. It always helps. Yeah..."
Kaia placed the tray on the edge of the bed and hurried to the bathroom to change her clothes before she could catch another glimpse of Taylor. She went back into the room to grab her sneakers and leave, noticing that Taylor hadn't moved an inch.
Kaia didn't say anything as she walked toward the door.
"Kaia..." Taylor started to say when she went to leave but the actress only turned around and smiled tightly at her.
"I'll be back in like an hour," she said, adjusting the baseball cap on her head. She let the door close behind her and hurried toward the elevators, almost running straight into someone.
She stepped back, ready to apologise when she recognised the older woman. Andrea beamed at her, immediately wrapping her up in a motherly embrace.
"Oh, honey, I did not see you there!"
Kaia chuckled softly, patting her back and giving her cheek a kiss as she pulled away. "I didn't either, I'm terribly sorry."
"Seems like you're in a hurry?" Andrea pointed out, eyebrows cocked up suspiciously.
"Oh, no, just... you know, thought I'd sneak in a workout this morning," she explained, twisting her thumbs around each other.
"Taylor won't be joining you?"
Kaia glanced back at the hotel room and shook her head faintly. "She's not feeling too well," she said, entwining her own fingers tightly. "I think it's more than just a regular cold that she's caught."
"Oh, dear," Andrea sighed, frowning deeply. "Well, I'll go check on her. Oh— she is decent, right?"
Kaia felt her whole face heat up. "Yeah, yes, yes. Of course. She was when I left, yes," she got the words out really fast. "Uhm, yes. I'll see you in a bit. I'm just going to pop down to the gym."
"All right, how about lunch? We haven't sat down in a while," Andrea said. Kaia smiled and gave her a curt nod as she started walking backwards toward the elevator.
"Sure, I'd absolutely love to!"
Andrea's smile widened and she waved goodbye as Kaia dashed down the hall and called the elevator. The hotel did have a gym but after a few lunges and some squats, Kaia felt like she was suffocating between those four walls. She headed outside instead, going for just about the only thing that ever made her feel slightly better.
She started running around the neighbourhood the hotel was in but it was way too warm outside and Kaia still couldn't catch her breath. She slowed down to a brisk walk as her chest started to ache. She pressed her palm hard into her ribs, right in the middle of her chest, trying to take in slow breaths as she realised that she was in the beginning stages of a panic attack.
Her hands had started shaking by her sides so she held them in fists and started tapping the sides of her legs in a rhythmic pattern, trying her best to focus on staying on beat while counting her breaths.
It wasn't getting any worse, thankfully, but she still felt incredibly uneasy. She pulled her phone out because really, there was only one voice in this world who could ever really help her, but as her thumb hesitated over Taylor's contact name, she knew that Taylor would definitely drop everything and run to her rescue and that would not change the fact that she was pushing her away for something she didn't do.
She called Mica instead. He answered a few seconds later, giving her his usual excited greeting.
"Heeeeeeeeeeey— why do you sound like Chewbacca?"
Kaia couldn't stop herself from snorting, which she guessed didn't make it any better as Mica suddenly burst out laughing. "Fuck off. I'm currently trying to briskly avoid an oncoming panic attack."
"Oh, shit, what happened? Are you okay? Aren't you with Taylor?"
"I don't wanna talk about it. Distract me?"
"Uh, okay, okay, uh, shit— you just put me on the spot. You know I suck at this. Okay, can I sing some Charles Aznavour to you? I'm going to do it— La mer, qu'on voit danser le long des golfes clairs—"
"That's Charles Trenet, you dipshit, why are you singing in French?" Kaia breathed out, unable to contain her laughter at the idiot she had the privilege of calling her best friend.
"Ah, I forgot you're the French classics expert. Fine, I'm going to sing some Shakira."
"Please don't—" she started to say but he was already belting the lyrics to Hips Don't Lie. "Oh my god, shut up! Why are you like this?"
Kaia started laughing harder and Mica joined in a second later, fucking up the lyrics completely.
"You make a horrible Shakira."
"Gee, thanks, babes. You feeling any better?"
Kaia shrugged and let out a heavy breath. "Not really, but thanks for trying."
"Sure," he replied softly. Mica started to say something else but he paused, a little hesitant. "Did something happen?"
"Oh you know, nothing, really. My girlfriend just can't seem to look me in the eyes or talk to me about anything."
"What? Is this about what happened with Julianne?"
"Julianne?" Kaia chuckled dryly, pulling her cap off and inspecting the embroidered logo on the front; she needed a distraction while talking.
"Yes, she's been downgraded to her full name for trying to break up my parents."
Kaia rolled her eyes but couldn't fight off the fond smile that spread across her face without her consent. "I don't think she did that on purpose."
"Well, whatever it is, it sucked and now you're in the doghouse for no good reason," he told her.
"I don't know, Mica. I just need Taylor to not fucking push me away before I even get the chance to actually talk to her about this, but you know how her brain works. Jump to the worst conclusions first, ask questions later," Kaia huffed, putting her cap back on and using her free hand to rub her temple. "My head's literally been pounding for two days straight."
"Shit, I'm sorry, Kibs," Mica said softly. "I'm sure she just needs time to let it sink in. I'm sure it's not easy hearing someone kissed your girlfriend."
"I kiss other people all the time! Mainly just Will, but it's not..." she couldn't formulate her thoughts as well and it frustrated her beyond belief.
"You get paid to kiss him. Julianne kissed you for her own pleasure, or I don't know, whatever other evil agenda she has in mind."
"Mica," Kaia murmured exasperatedly. "She's one of your best friends. It was a mistake, she apologised. Cut her some slack."
"See, now, why are you defending her to me and not talking to your girlfriend and making sure she understands it didn't mean shit?"
Kaia shrugged, hugging herself with her free arm and rubbing her shoulder lightly. "Because, I ran out of there when she very obviously rejected me kissing her cheek. I needed some air, except I felt like I couldn't breathe and I didn't want to make Taylor feel like she had to come to my rescue, so I called you instead. You're second best."
"Way to make a guy feel special!"
Kaia smiled down at the ground, kicking a small pebble off the sidewalk. Her eyes widened in horror when she realised she had completely missed her target and hit someone's leg instead. It was like time had stopped for a second when she looked up and met the other woman's eyes. She seemed to have recognised Kaia's face, eyes bulging comically.
Kaia could already see the tweets going viral.
OMG KAIA BROWNE JUST HIT ME WITH A ROCK!
"Shit, attends une seconde, Mica..." [hold on a second, Mica]
"Oh my god!" The girl exclaimed but Kaia could tell she clearly wasn't upset about it.
"I'm so terribly sorry," Kaia apologised, holding her phone against her shoulder. "I was aiming for the road."
"Oh, no worries, you're good," the other girl replied, shooting her a wide grin. "Aren't you Kaia Browne?"
"Uh, yeah, yes. Yes, I am. Again, I'm really sorry."
"What did you do?" Mica asked on the other end of the line, a humorous, teasing laugh in his voice.
"Mais attends, putain," she replied. "J'te rappelle plustard." [Hold on, damn it. I'll call you back later.]
She hung up on Mica and smiled apologetically at the girl. "Sorry. I really hope I didn't hurt you. Seriously, it was a total accident."
"Seriously, don't worry about it! It happens!" She reassured her. "What are you doing in Arlington, Texas of all places? Okay, wait, I realise that's personal, sorry. I've never met a celebrity before."
Kaia chuckled softly, adjusting her baseball cap awkwardly. "Yeah, uh, just visiting a friend... that I need to get back to. Sorry. It was nice meeting you."
"It was great meeting you!" The girl laughed in disbelief. "My friends are never going to believe this."
Kaia smiled tightly, waving at her before turning around and walking toward the hotel in embarrassment. She hoped her exit wasn't as rude as she felt it was, but she couldn't have handled interacting with anyone, let alone a stranger who might have asked her for a picture or a video.
When she made it back to the room, Taylor was in the shower, a set of clean clothes laid out on the bed. Kaia sat down on the armchair, twisting the locket around her neck while she waited for her to finish. Kaia chewed on the inside of her cheek, opening and closing the locket without really looking inside it. She noticed the tray of food only half eaten which made her frown but she couldn't really blame Taylor. She barely had an appetite herself.
Taylor didn't notice Kaia at first when she walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her. She went to grab her underwear and only then did she look up and jumped back in surprise, holding her towel tightly to keep it up.
"Jesus christ— when did you get back?"
"Just a minute ago," Kaia told her quietly, dropping her hands to her lap but she couldn't stop fidgeting with her fingers.
"Oh, okay."
Kaia raised her eyebrows and let out a laugh under her breath. Unbelievable.
Taylor meanwhile sat on the edge of the bed, her back turned to Kaia, and started getting dressed. When she was done, she started towel drying her hair and only then did she face her.
"Mom said something about lunch later if you're up for it," Taylor mentioned, coughing to clear her throat. Her voice was still cracking when she spoke, which under any other circumstances, Kaia would have definitely teased her for it. And definitely asked her to say dirty stuff.
"Uh, yeah. I ran into her in the hallway. That would be great, sure."
"Okay."
That was all she said before going back to drying her hair.
Oh my god, I'm going to explode.
Kaia pursed her lips and tapped the arms of her chair before getting up. She stopped right outside the bathroom door and looked back at Taylor in desperation.
"We need to talk," Kaia started, her voice small. She swallowed hard as Taylor looked up at her, lips slightly parted as she breathed through her mouth, eyebrows furrowed in the middle.
"Okay," was all she said again and Kaia had to hold it in together with all her might to stop herself from exploding.
"Look—" she started, her voice a little too snappy. She swallowed again, forcing herself to calm down. She could feel her nails digging into her palms as she held her hands in fists behind her back. "I'm going to change and then can we go for a walk? I'm not—" Kaia shook her head and turned around to grab some clean clothes from her bag. "I'm not going to keep doing this— whatever this is."
She didn't wait for Taylor to respond before heading to the bathroom and closing the door behind her a little too harshly. She winced but didn't let herself dwell on it too much. She changed into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt before meeting Taylor again.
They left the room in complete silence and even though Kaia had absolutely no idea where she was going, Taylor let her lead the way. She decided to walk in the opposite direction that she had taken earlier, her arms swinging by her side. It was almost painful to try and hold back from reaching out and grabbing Taylor's hand.
"Do you want something?" Taylor stopped in front of a Starbucks, arms folded tightly over her chest. Kaia didn't, but she nodded anyway; she needed something to keep her hands busy.
They got their coffees, Kaia going for an extra sweet caramel mocha, and as she sipped the iced drink, she kept staring at Taylor who in turn kept staring at the ground.
"Are you done stalling?" Kaia snapped, twisting the straw between her fingers to mix the drink.
"What?"
Kaia chuckled bitterly, turning to stand in front of Taylor and facing her completely. "Did you really want that coffee?"
Taylor furrowed her eyebrows, her hand stilling as she had just been about to take a sip. "...Yes?"
"So, it wasn't just an excuse to avoid saying more than just two words at a time to me?"
Taylor opened her mouth to respond but no words came out. She took a sip of coffee instead.
"For once, please, will you talk to me before you freeze me out?" Kaia begged her, grabbing Taylor's hand and squeezing it gently. "Or at least, just listen to me. Please."
Taylor nodded lightly, squeezing her hand back. Kaia was glad she didn't pull away this time.
Kaia had so much to say, but now that she was given the opportunity to do so, she had no idea where to start. So, she started walking, dragging Taylor along with her.
"Why are you pushing me away?" She murmured, running her tongue over her lips. They were incredibly dry. "I told you that— she kissed me. I didn't kiss her back. I didn't want her to kiss me. I had no idea that she was going to kiss me. I have absolutely no idea what happened, and I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it because it doesn't make any sense. We were both drunk and she made a mistake. You know it didn't mean anything. You know I've never even thought of anyone else practically since the day we met. I didn't do anything, and I would never do anything to jeopardise what we have. So, why are you putting me in jail for something I didn't even fucking do?"
Kaia's voice was quivering by the end of her small rant. Taylor came to a stop, brushing her hair out of her face. "I don't know, Kaia," she replied quietly, her voice strained with frustration. "But it didn't exactly make me feel all that great to know that your ex of all people wants you, knowing full well that we're together. It doesn't make me feel any better to know that she thought you might have wanted to her too. She wouldn't have gone for that kiss otherwise, would she?"
"I don't know, Taylor. I really don't know! I don't know if I did anything to make her think that it was something that I wanted... if I led her on in any way. As far as I'm concerned, I never acted any different! You have to know that none of this was my intention!"
"But that's exactly it, Kaia, isn't it?" Taylor exclaimed, her voice coming out shrill and scratchy. "You never acted any different with someone you used to date. She's obviously never really moved on and I know you're an affectionate person with your friends and that's great, but you realise how that can be misinterpreted by someone who's obviously into you, right?"
"Don't do that," Kaia shook her head, leaning her weight on one leg. "It's not like you're doing anything different!"
"What is that even supposed to mean?" Taylor scoffed, folding her arms over her chest in defence.
"You still hang out with Karlie, don't you? And she has the biggest hard-on for you!"
"Yeah, but she didn't conveniently get drunk and try to make out with me."
"God, Taylor, it was a mistake! A fucked up mistake, sure, but she's apologised and it's not like it's ever going to happen again!" Kaia blurted out, pulling at the ends of her hair.
"So, you'll stop hanging out with her?"
Kaia looked at Taylor in complete disbelief. "You're not seriously going to make me choose between you and my friends, are you? Because you know I'd always choose you in a heartbeat. But it's not fair."
Taylor rolled her eyes as though Kaia was saying the most ridiculous of things. "Of course I'm not going to make you fucking choose, even though I believe I have every right to ask you to stop hanging out with her. I won't do that. I just don't trust her."
"But do you trust me?"
Taylor nodded but her response came out after a second that felt too long. "Of course I do."
Kaia sent her a tight smile, swallowing a big lump that had lodged itself in her throat. She could already feel her eyes prickling and her hands start to shake, a sure sign that she was about to start crying. She took in a shaky breath and rubbed her face with her free hand. "So, are you going to stop pulling away from me when I try to kiss you?"
"I don't want you to catch my cold," Taylor murmured, but even she didn't sound completely convinced of her own words. "Look, I just— I need a bit of time."
"For what?"
"To stop fucking thinking of you with anyone else. I can't get these images out of my head and I know it's not your fault, I know you didn't really do anything to break my trust. I trust you implicitly. But... I keep seeing you with her and it's— I need to figure out a way to stop, to just—"
Taylor's hands danced in the air as she struggled to get her point across. Kaia's heart was hammering harshly in her chest. She was breathing heavily now, her vision blurring around the edges. She took a hesitant step toward Taylor, holding her hand out for her. She took it and laced their fingers together and Kaia took that as her consent to close the distance between them. She hugged Taylor close, cradling her head in her hand and brushing her fingers through her hair. Her face was buried in the blonde's neck, taking in her scent. She let out a quiet, shaky breath as she started crying. Taylor's arms closed gently around her frame and she hid her face in Kaia's hair.
"I'm sorry," Kaia murmured. "I'm really sorry. I hate this so fucking much."
"Me too," Taylor replied quietly. "It's okay. We'll be okay. I'm sorry too."
"I love you," she whispered, almost choking on her words as her tears fell in a heavier stream. "I really love you, Taylor."
"I know," Taylor whispered back. "I know. I love you too. We're okay, I promise. I just need time."
Taylor's phone started buzzing in her pocket but she ignored it until it had become too annoying to ignore, and when she finally pulled it out, the call had ended.
"Oh, that's mom," she explained, reading a message she had just received. "She's just making sure we're still meeting her for lunch."
Kaia had forgotten about that. "Oh, uh, actually..." she sniffled softly, wiping her face with her shoulder. "Could you give her my excuses? I don't— I'm not sure I can handle it."
Taylor nodded, reaching out with her hand to wipe Kaia's cheek. Kaia leaned into her touch, having been deprived for way too long. "Okay. I'm going to go meet her then... unless you want me to stay with you?"
"No, it's okay. You go on ahead. I'll see you back at the hotel."
"Okay," Taylor whispered, running her thumb in a gentle caress under Kaia's eye before pulling away completely. "I won't be long."
They went their separate ways and once Kaia was back in the privacy of their hotel room, she sat down in bed, curled up on her side, and did not hold back her sobs any longer until her throat had started to ache.
———
this is the last of this depressing arc!!! i promise!!!! it's only fluff from here!!!!
i love yall!!
also i have a confession. i have this many drafts saved already
so i can reassure u with CONFIDENCE that at least all these chapters are very very fluffy and... other stuff 👀
esp chapter 22 i think. it's one of my favourites ever. ranked top 5!!!!
so yey <3