TRIGGER WARNING!
THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS VIOLENCE AND SELF-HARM! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.
Remember to always choose to be kind.
Learn to forgive, for forgiving is freeing yourself from hatred and guilt.
And if you don't feel well, please seek professional help. Ending it now is not how you should deal with it. You're braver than you think you are. I believe in you!
Munting paalala na ang mga desisyon at ginagawa ng mga karakter sa kwentong ito ay pawang nagmula lamang sa mga kathang isip at para sa kwentong ito lamang. HUWAG GAGAYAHIN! Pulutin lamang ang magagandang aral at huwag ang mga masasama.
Be Human.
Love,
nanashi_21
"Next time you monitor my movements, you'll turn me into an enemy." I said to the bug that they put in my room, bago ito tuluyang sinira.
Muli kong tiningnan ang piraso ng dahon na ibinigay ni Simeon sa akin. He wrote a morse code on it. E: Milk, H: with dots forming arrow up. This is the code we used when we were still working with Gavin. And now he even writes each letter in Morse Code. It discreetly gives information for our meet up.
E is for Emplacement, French for location. H is for Heure, French for time, and the arrow indicates the position of the hour hand on the clock.
What is he up to?
Saktong paalis na ako ng chapel nang harangin ako ni Sister Marie.
Hindi siya nagsasalita sa halip ay nanatiling nakahawak sa mangas ng aking damit. She's wearing that same expression I love, hopelessness, desperation. At the back of my head, I am still enjoying this moment. It still gives me satisfaction.
Maybe after all the things that happened, I didn't change much after all.
"I don't help people," Sister Marie. You're asking the wrong person. " I whispered, bago tuluyang inalis ang kayang kamay sa pagkakahawak sa akin.
Things changed drastically with just the photo they showed.
When I thought I killed my father that night, it's true that I joined Gavin because he promised me money and because he gave me a purpose. And deep inside, it's because I don't even have the courage to end my life. So, I became his human-robot.
After the fall of the organisation and knowing the possibility that my father is still alive, I thought finding him for revenge was another purpose I had. Kaya pinili kong manatili sa lugar na ito. And now, revenge is almost on my hands. Mabibigyang hustisya ko ang ginawa ng sarili kong ama kay Mama at sa pamilya namin. I will avenge what he did to my life.
And then after that, maybe I'll have enough courage to end everything. After all, that's the sole purpose of my existence right now.
I don't think living a normal life is for me. Masyado akong masama para ganoong kagandang bagay.
Ngunit hindi ko itatanggi ang saya na dulot nito. Because I can't hide the fact that living a normal life for these past few months brought me happiness. But that is something I don't deserve.
Nang makarating ako sa pinagkukuhaan namin ng gatas ay naroon na at naghihintay si Simeon. He's sitting on the tie beam that supports the roof.
"Why do you want to meet?" Diretsong tanong ko. Sumandal ako sa pader at saka nagsindi ng sigarilyo.
"What's your plan after killing your father?" He asked me. Kunot noo akong napatingin sa kanya. Since when did he became interested with my family issues? I've been trying to hide anything about myself, but with just the conversation I had last night, people are now acting like they know me.
"What made you interested in my life now?" I asked back. Hindi ko alam kung may patutunguhan ba ang usapang ito.
"They've been killing a lot of people, children to be exact. And they won't think twice about killing Allie for the success of the project. " Napatigil ako sa paghithit ng sigarilyo at saka tumingin sa kanya.
"And what does that have to do with me?" This time he looked at me with disbelief.
"Amber must have seen it wrong. You never change. " He said at saka bumaba mula sa kinauupuan.
"What makes you different? You're working for them anyway. " Bahagya siyang lumapit sa akin. Nahuli ko ang paglinga niya sa labas. We're being watched.
"Everything is not as it seems." He whispered.
"I was just amazed that we finally cracked you. All this time, it's just you and your daddy issues. " He added, and this time his voice was louder. I see what he's doing.
I punched him in the jaw na kaagad naman niyang inilagan but still acted as if I hit him. He acted like he was knocked out cold. I still have no idea what he's up to, ngunit nakisabay din lang ako sa agos. Simeon has always been a collected and reasonable person. His actions are just a façade. After all, he wouldn't be one of Gavin's trusted people for nothing.
I looked at him bago ko siya tuluyang iwan sa ganoong position when his hand caught my attention. He keeps pointing at the pail of milk.
Tila nag-iisip akong lumapit dito. There is car key, card, and a flash drive beside it. I picked it up at saka tinadyakan ang balde ng gatas na katabi nito. I acted like a mad man, kahit na wala naman talagang epekto ang sinabi niya sa akin.
Muli kong binalikan si Simeon at kinwekyuhan.
"You better explain to me what's happening." I hissed at saka siya marahas na binitawan.
Hindi ko pinansin ang mga matang nagtatago at nagmamatyag. Sa halip ay nagpatuloy ako sa paglalakad patungo sa lugar kung saan ako maniningil ng buhay.
Hindi tulad noong unang beses akong magpunta rito, ay mukhang inaasahan nila ang pagdating ko. A man leads the way towards a big church in the middle of this forest.
Nang makapunta kami sa mismong pintuan ng simbahan ay iniwan na nya ako. The church looks just like a normal church. Mula sa upuan, chandelier, statues at maging ang tiles ng sahig na estilo pa ng mga nasa lumang simbahan.
"I thought you had a change of heart." Allas' voice echoed. As if I have a heart.
"I might if you keep eavesdropping and man-marking me." I said. Maya maya pa lumabas din siya at nagpakita sa akin.
"I didn't know that you were that impatient. Don't be so upset. It's just for protocols. " He said.
Iginiya nya kami sa isang pinto pababa ng simbahan. Tila sasabog ang dibdib ko sa kaba.
"I can smell bloodlust, Vougn." Hindi ako tumugon sa pahayag niya. Nanatili kaming naglalakad sa makitid at madilim na lagusan bago tuluyang magkita ng liwanag.
It's a laboratory underneath the church. There are people working behind the glass wearing all-white bunny suits, the same suits that people working in NASA's laboratory usually wear.
Tinitigan kong maigi ang mga tao at aparatong nasa loob ng bubog na silid. Halos manlamig ako sa nakitang mga bata na nasa loob ng isang malaking tubong gawang sa bubog. Maraming mga kable ang nakalagay sa katawan nila at nakababad sa klarong likido.
There are people working around the clear tube. Simeon was right. They are working on kids.
"You seem fascinated. I'll explain that to you because that's part of your end of the deal. " Pumasok kami sa isang silid. There he is, tied to a chair. He looks exactly like how I left him that night.
Pero paano?
Despite seeing it with my own eyes, I still can't believe it.
Allas gave me a gun at tinulungan akong itutok ito sa aking ama.
"Now all you have to do is pull the trigger." He whispered like a demon that night.
"I want to talk to him." I demanded. For a second, he looked hesitant.
"I don't think that's possible, Vougn. That is not part of your bargain. " Mas lalong umiikli ang aking pasensya.
Everything is not as it seems.
The way Allas is acting just supports Simeon's weird actions.
Walang pagdadalawang isip kong pinaputok ang baril at tinamaan ang tuhod ng aking ama. Nasundan iyon ng paghiway sa sakit na napipigilan ng busal niya sa bibig.
"It won't change the fact that he'll die today. But still, I want to hear him beg for his life. " Muli akong tumingin sa kay Papa. Muling bumalik ang galit noong gabing iyon. How I saw my mother beg for our lives. And how my father ignored everything and kept on hitting my mom.
I want him to feel the same pain. I want him to beg for his life. I want him to beg me. Only then, will this revenge be successful?
Ngunit nanatiling walang kibo si Allas.
This time, sa kanya ko itinutok ang baril.
"You have no idea how long I have waited for this." I warned him.
"The thing is, once you get what you want, I won't have anything to hold you." Lumapit siya kay Papa at saka itinutok ang baril sa sintido nito.
"If you kill him now, how can I make sure that you'll do the end of your deal? How will I know that you'll continue working for me? I'm allowing you to end this man's life. But only because you're more significant than..."
Hindi niya nagawa pang tapusin ang mahaba niyang litanya ng muli kong paputukan ang kabilang tuhod ni Papa.
"I don't think a limp is any use in this kind of business."
"If you don't trust me, you shouldn't have invited me. Now, remove that gag of his. "
Allas did as I told him. Mabibigat na paghinga ang unang kumawala sa bibig ni Papa.
"Anong pakiramdam ng patutukan muli ng baril ng sarili mong anak?" I asked. Lumapit ako sa kanya and grabbed his hair.
"I'll make sure to make this painful. A quick death is a blessing, and you don't deserve that. " I hissed.
I started punching him. At lahat ng iyon ay walang pag-aalin langan nyang tinanggap. And with all the punches and words I gave, nothing satisfied me. Why? Why?!
"Beg for your life! Beg for your worthless life! " I shouted in frustration. And this time I plant a bullet on this shoulder.
"Ahh, if you survive today, which you won't, do you know I loathe being your son?" I asked.
Of all the questions I had, he never answered any of them.
I got tired. This isn't as satisfying as I thought it would be.
Allas, nice game! Nice game!
Muli kong pinaputukan ng baril ang aking ama at saka naupo sa kaharap na upuan, pinapanood siyang nahihirapang huminga.
"Well, that was quick." Allas commented.
Tanging mabibigat na paghinga lamang ang naririnig niya mula sa akin. Pilit kong pinakakalma ang sarili. Trying to rationalise things. How dumb does he think I am?
Lumapit ako sa katawan ni Papa. I checked the scar on his chest where my first bullet landed years ago. It was there.
This is how I wanted to torture my father. How satisfying it would be if it was actually him.
If they tend to his wound, he would probably live. It's all up to them if he survives until tonight.
You can't fool me, Allas. I could clearly remember how my father used to look at me. The anger, the bloodlust, the hate. This guy in front of me is an empty shell. He's not my father.