"You ever think about leaving?" Punz asks, while I rest my chin on his bicep, let his body shield my face from the air that freezes my face.
I let out a humourless laugh. "All the time, never seriously."
"Never seriously?" He asks, looking down at me with his eyebrows raised.
"Can't leave them." I answer. "Ever."
A flicker of emotion crosses his face, too quick for me to catch it, too quick to betray the thoughts he doesn't share with me. "Yeah, I guessed that."
"I'm worried about Tommy." I sigh, sliding my hands into my sleeves to stop the cold stinging my knuckles. "Dream's fucking fixated on him."
"Wilbur's in trouble too." Punz shakes his head. "First mistake was thinking he was on an even field with Dream."
"Wilbur's a big boy, he can handle the consequences of his own fuck ups." I flick my eyes up at him, cheek buried into his arm. "Tommy's done nothing except be loved by me."
"It's not your fault." Punz's blonde eyebrows crease. "You didn't cause this."
"I did Punz." I say, looking back from him to the darkness of the crevice we've squeezed into, away from Tubbo and Tommy's prying eyes, Wilbur's accusing glares, Niki's well-meaning glances. "I brought him into their lives, even if I didn't know, even if I didn't mean to."
"How were you supposed to have known?"
"Because he was waging a war against us? Because he told me again and again that he'd kill them without blinking? Because I should have fucking known?"
"He was holding you hostage, you could not think straight. You were allowed to make bad decisions then, Rosie, he was messing with your head."
"I fell in love with him Punz."
He drops closer, pressing a kiss into the top of my head. "You have to forgive yourself for that."
"It's unforgivable." I shake my head, voice gravelly. "Wilbur and Fundy were right, it's unforgivable."
"It's not." He snakes his arms around me, squeezing tightly, resting his chin against my hair. "Especially not compared to what they did to you."
"Punz-"
"Nope." He leans in, wide eyed and full of conviction. "No more, not about loving Dream or what Wilbur thinks or how you feel responsible for shit you should have never had to deal with in the first place. I don't want you to feel sad and guilty because of me."
"Mhm." I giggle, closing the gap between us to press my lips against his for just a second. "I forgot about you never getting out here to see me and how much you just want to kiss me."
"Exactly." He kisses me again, then grins.
"What are you smiling about?" I ask, my own lips spreading into a matching smile, like the glee on his face is contagious, lighting up all the cold empty places within me, leaving nothing but a warm glow and a heart a little more filled.
"Just how lucky I am." I says, and I roll my eyes.
"Yeah right, what are you actually smiling about?"
"How fucking pissed off Dream would be if he knew."
I snort, and then clap my hands over my mouth. "Don't fucking say that." I'm laughing, but the thought has been prickling in the back of my skull since he first kissed me, once the shock wore off. "And don't think of him while you're kissing me."
"Sorry." He squeezes me in an apology. "He'd kill both of us if he knew."
"No he'd kill you, and then lock me in a dungeon or some shit."
"I'd rather be dead honestly."
"Definitely, wouldn't recommend it." I lean against him. "You'll come out in love with him."
"I mean who could resist that?" Punz grins impishly. "Such as big, strong man-"
"Stop!" I shriek, slapping him on the chest. "No more talking about Dream, I've had enough of him."
"Okay, okay." He laughs. "No talking about how irresistibly sexy Dream is-"
"Oh my god Punz!" I shove him this time, both of us laughing, him uproariously, and me much more mortified. "Stop! Please!"
"You want me to stop?" His hand curls around my cheek, thumb digging in underneath my jaw, so my head tilts easily, moulding just perfectly to his lips as he joins ours, his second hand splayed out on my thigh, a constant weight that feels like it's burning into my skin. My hands slacken against his chest, one sliding up to dig my fingertips into the short velvet hair at the very base of his skull, the other turned down, palm flat on the side of his stomach and fingers dangerously close to the hem of his shirt.
"Only 'cause you asked nicely." He breathes out in the moment we break for breath, before closing the tiny fraction of the gap between us then, my nose smushed against his.
"Mhm." I hum in response, because I don't think I'd be even able to form a witty comment back, and I don't want to break away to say it anyway. The hand on my face traces all the way down to my hip, fingers hooking into the loops in my waistband, tugging impatiently towards him.
I shift them up, twisting around and bringing my leg with me, so it swings over his seated thighs and settles me right in his lap, egged on by his eager hands now completely tangled in my belt loops, pulling me down. Both my arms wind around his neck, while his hands slide smoothly over my waist, keeping my stomach glued to his chest.
"I'm so fucking lucky." He mumbles, under his breath, in between kissing me and exploring everything he can reach with his rough hands. "You're so fucking gorgeous."
"Not so bad yourself." I whisper into his ear, before tilting my head, tracing the outline of his face with my mouth, blonde slight side burns, the chiseled point of his jaw, the one that makes him twitch slightly, the skin of his neck so thin I can feel his pulse beating against my lips, the sunken base in between his collarbones, where his shirt collar has slipped, every piece of skin I can get, mapping out the landmarks of freckles and scars, committing it to my memory.
His hands leave my torso, shrugging off his jacket awkwardly, still locked with me, before pulling my jumper over my head. We break away while I help him get it over my face, heavy breaths mingling in the cold air, not even blinking as we stare at each other, and he tosses away the fleece crew-neck I was wearing to immediately slide his hands up the skin of my stomach.
"Mm- Punz- the thing!" I break away from him, eyes wide. "We're supposed to take Tommy."
He lets his head thunk onto my chest. "Oh fuck, you're kidding me Rosie."
I giggle, forearms resting on his shoulders, forehead against his so the strands that have fallen onto his face tickle my nose. "We have to take him."
He shakily laughs. "Uh yeah, you go, just- just give me a minute."
"You're ridiculous."
"Shut up you fucking tease."
I quickly peck him on the cheek. "Sorry, you know how he'll be if we don't."
He smiles at me. "Of course, I'm right behind you."
I leave him sitting splayed out against a rock, cheeks glowing pink and hair mussed, calling out to Tommy to be ready. Both of us promised him that we would take him out to the villages up in the mountains, large sprawling towns with items he's never even seen in person, too far for him to go on his own, especially with Wilbur being so paranoid now.
We could barely convince him to let Tommy go as it is.
Punz joins us at the top of the stairs, ignoring Tommy's extremely pointed look of disapproval and the snide remarks he huffs under his breath as we make out way through the forest, bundled up in layers of jackets and beanies and scarves.
"I can't believe you two almost forgot, because you were too busy having-"
"Do not finish that sentence." I interrupt just in time, before he comes out from some heinously inappropriate comment about me and Punz. "We're here, that's the end of it."
He glowers at Punz, before scampering off up ahead of us, definitely muttering all kinds of various threats under his breath like some kind of enraged guinea pig that has access to weapons of mass destruction and a scarily advanced knowledge of how to kill someone.
"He really does not like me." Punz laughs, and I shake my head exasperatedly.
"Considering the only other person I've properly dated was Dream, I think he's got poor expectations."
"Yeah, I guess that's true." Punz shrugs. "It's like a kid angry at his Mom's boyfriend. I feel like one day he's going to turn around and go you're not my Dad." He finished in a nasally, high pitched imitation of Tommy's voice, which causes the boy in question to whirl around in annoyance.
"What?" He asks bluntly, facing both of us. I have to cover my mouth with my hands to stifle my laugh.
"Nothing Tommy." Punz waves him off, and Tommy gives him one of the dirtiest looks I've ever seen, like he was trying to shoot knives through his eyes or something.
"Alright, everyone calm down." I roll my eyes at the two of them, Tommy positively shaking with rage and Punz with the ghost of a smug grin on his otherwise dismissively bored face. "We made it on time, and we're going, that's all you need."
Tommy turns around in a huff, while Punz chokes down a laugh under my glare, waiting until Tommy had positively lost interest, which is highly unlikely because that kid can hold a grudge like no other, and then sneaking his hand into my pocket to entwine our fingers.
It takes hours, up steep ledges rubbled with skittering rock and imposing, scarily still borders balanced on unnatural angles, flat tracked dirt paths with the dust ground into the trail as they carve their way in between the trees, and the stumbling stony edge, peering over a valley flush with green and brown a grey, blurred from distance.
The village eventually comes into view, a peak of a dark wooden house, pitched over the thick, dark trees, dusted with faint hints of the snowfall from last night. Snuffed lanterns hanging down from the roof, smeared with blackened soot, cloudy glass and rusted iron hinges, tinkering as they sway in the slight breeze that whistles in between the buildings.
The villagers mill around, light blue coats thick with matted cream wool lining the underside, pale faces blushed pink from the cold, thin features pinched into sharp points. Their lower half is wrapped in leather and fabric, the coat edge sewn with brown and black patterns that swirl and bloom over their thighs, down to just above their knees. Some of them have their faces wrapped in heavy beige fabric, all with the same blue dyed hats, the same material as their heavy coats.
Tommy bounds off immediately, and I half start after him, Punz catching my wrist before I make any progress.
"You're not catching him, he'll be alright on his own."
I'm not convinced, but he pulls me off with him, down the frozen earth paths, toward stalls with stark white awnings and the same coffee-brown wood that composes the houses, and the sparse trees all around us.
"I've always wanted to live up in the mountains." I say eventually, looking up at the grey-white sky, the endlessness of the light disappearing past the ring of treetops. "Not somewhere this cold, but something like this."
"Yeah?" Punz responds, looking up with me. "It's so peaceful up here, it would be nice."
"You ever think about settling down in a place, instead of moving around all the time?"
He shrugs. "I get bored, money dries up quickly, there's never any real reasons to stay."
"There's always reasons."
"Nah." He shakes his head. "I come back to some now and then, but nothing's ever been able to hold onto me."
The thing about places, is the invisible threads holding them together, the people and the smiles, the air and the whole surrounding world, looped and linked close, and those threads seep into your skin, slip around your bones and hold tight, until leaving feels like you're ripping your body apart, and the place is as familiar as the very skin on your body, mapped out inside of you like pure instinct.
For me anyway, because I never can understand how Punz can leave knowing he's never coming back, keep doing it month after month.
"I don't know how you do it."
"Nothing to hold onto, nothing keeping you back." He tugs me further along the path.
"I guess I have a lot I'm holding onto." I say. He nods, but doesn't respond, focusing on the first stall we reach, rows of bottles with amber and clear liquids, stacked neatly in barrels and crates.
"Oh fuck yeah." Punz says, pulling out a few, labels scrawled in sharp lettering that I don't recognise. I do recognise the bottles though, the ones Sapnap brought to the cave, before the rally, and moment in life when things were peddling vaguely in the right direction, before everything so was fucked up.
Before Quackity died, and Dream and I found ourselves in this unrecognisable place, before I even knew Punz, before everything was ruined.
It also brings me back to the first time, the first time in a long, long life of denial and ignoring everything my heart was screaming at me, drunk and dizzy and slightly too warm, Dream stretched over me, crying, our lips together, whispered promises of pretending and longing and words spilling out of loosened lips.
They're good memories, but they make the ache in my throat throb, and my stomach knot.
Punz hands the storekeeper a myriad of brass and gold coins, arms full with a crate of bottles, an assortment of different coloured liquids sloshing inside, some in crystal clear glass, the others a bright emerald bottle green.
"Do not let Tommy near those." I tell him, looping my arm over his elbow while he smiles happily.
"I don't plan too, some of these are for Sapnap, the rest for us and Niki."
"Not Wilbur, good idea actually."
"The man is off his head enough sober, he does not need any kind of extra help."
"God no, can you imagine?"
He pretends to shudder. "I don't even want to."
"He hasn't mentioned anything about us." I say, breaking the silence that just started to settle between us. "God knows what he thinks."
"He probably thinks you have a track record with boyfriends on the wrong side."
"Except you're on the right side."
He cracks a beaming smile, but it's lined with brimming mischief and I look at him, confused. "What?"
"I've called myself your boyfriend like four times today and you haven't corrected me."
It's my turn to smile, leaning into him and squeezing my arm around his. "Maybe I like the idea of you being my boyfriend."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, not to official for you, mystical traveller?"
He kisses me over the bottles in his arms, craning his neck awkwardly. "Never."
"Well then, you're my boyfriend."
"And you are officially my girlfriend."
"I like that." I smile over at him.
"Me too."
We go off, wandering around stores and open shop-fronts with beautiful pottery, wide bases that slope smoothly into thin spouts, regimented patterned swirls carved into the clay, baked to a shiny finish. There's bottles of fermented fish, pickled beets and horseradish, copper jewellery hammered into thin brackets and heavy plated necklaces, entwined with crystal from the mountain in delicate rings, there's wood carvings immortalised in polished dark brown spruce wood, a manner of far too expensive and valuable stones and ores, laid out in rich red velvet and protected with glass and metal.
Punz disappears, leaving me with several pieces of pottery and bottles of alcohol, arms piled with various trinkets and some valuables that I have no idea Punz was even able to afford, geometric jewels and tiny jars full of powdered roots and minerals. I stand with our scattered purchases, on the side of the road, looking around.
I try and spot a blonde head, glinting white in the sunlight, red ears from the cold, wiry frame and faded red coat, but I can't see him.
"Tommy!" I call out, over the swelling crowd of people, the thick, silent wilderness, praying someone can hear me. "Tommy!"
My brain is playing tricks on me, letting a horrible, terrifying fear creep like cold water up the back of my neck, flash memories and fake realities of Dream taking Tommy, of the threats he told me, backed up against a bench top in a pharmacy, cruel smile etched into his skin.
"Tommy!" My voice cracks at a higher, more frantic pitch, surges of anxiousness like electricity igniting under my skin, spurring my heart to thump even heavier, pound a little harder. I whip around, but it's the same pale, nameless faces in front of me, blue coats and woollen hats and everyone but Tommy. "Thomas!"
I step forward, slamming straight into someone familiar.
"Hey, hey, hey, what's up?" Punz's gentle voice breaks through the haze of panic, hands a comforting presence on the upper part of my arm.
"Tommy, I can't see him- he's not here- Dream-" I'm struggling to get the words out, in between heavy breaths and trying to see around Punz's frame.
"Tommy's fine, he's coming back right now, it's okay." Punz pulls me in tightly, not even caring about the jewels that tumble out of my arms and into the wet snow. "It's okay, Dream is no where near here, we're all okay."
"Hey guys!" Tommy's says brightly, before his voice drops in concern. "Rose? Are you okay?"
"You fucking idiot." I mumble, not really sure if it's directed at him or me, pushing away from Punz and sweeping him into a strangling hug. "I thought I'd lost you."
"I'm fine." He whines, muffled by me clinging onto him. "You don't need to worry about me so much all the time."
"I can't, dumbass." I let go, taking a deep breath with both shaky hands on my hips. "Did you get everything you wanted?"
"Yeah there was so much stuff here Rose, there's a weapons stall with the coolest fucking crossbows-"
"You don't even know how to use a crossbow."
"Whatever, and they had swords and shields and knives, and then, there was this lady selling fox fur coats and there was one in red, and it was so nice, and I really wanted it-"
"Too expensive?" I raise an eyebrow.
"Yes, and so I didn't get it, even though I really wanted it but they have these snow sugar lollies so I got a jar of those and some pine-tea thing which sounded like some gross shit Tubbo and Niki would like, and then I found someone selling this like fermented cabbage and beet thing which honestly looked fucking disgusting but when else am I going to see that so I bought it-"
"I'm glad you found everything Tommy." Punz interrupts, handing me a crate full of the recovered powders and jewels, as well as the pottery, and picking up the rest.
"I wasn't talking to you." Tommy sneers back, but falls silent after that. Punz pulls out some kind of animal skin pack back from underneath his pile and hands it to me.
"Put all of your stuff in here, it'll be a lot easier to carry it back."
"You sure you'll be okay carrying all of that?"
"Nah I'm fine."
By the time we make it back home it's dark, and I'm exhausted, putting down my stuff and shedding the outer layers, snow soaked socks and coat in exchange for new, clean ones, straight legged pants that were pyjamas, a heavy jumper that smells faintly of smoke and village soap.
I'm lying in bed, wrapped in the heavy blankets, eyes almost shut from the tiredness of the day. I know Punz joins me because the bed dips down, and a warm body rolls in next to mine, familiar heavy arm slung over my waist.
He kisses me on the spot behind my ear. "You okay after today?"
I nod against him, almost too tired to form words. "Yeah, just being paranoid I guess."
"It's not being paranoid if it's justified." He tells me, snuggling his face against my back. "Dream's threatened to get him so many times, I don't blame you."
"Maybe." I say. "But I just can't let that stuff take over everything like that."
"It'll come with time, you'll be okay."
I turn my head so I can see him, kissing him awkwardly on the side of his head where I can reach. "I'll try."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
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A/N The way year 12 is beating my ass rn, the first time is WEEKS i've even been able to sit down at my computer to write.
Anywho, some lovely bonding between Rosie and Punz, a cute little trip, overall very nice chapter. The action of the war is going to kick in very shortly, as we reach our conclusion. Now that Punz and Rosie are official, is Dream going to find out? How is Schlatt preparing for the war? How will this all end? Stay tuned.
Thank you so much for being so patient with me, and I hope you enjoyed.
Oopsies x