T.w. suicide attempt
Connor was going to do it, he was going to kill himself he had the pills infront of him sitting on his desk, he took them from his mother her old pain killers, he questioned if he shout text evan or would evan save him. Again. He should he owns it to evan, just for his parents and sister he wrote a note it was simple ' I'm sorry for everything, I deserve this'
He pulled out his phone and texted evan
Connor: I'm sorry evan, I really am, I love you my little tree man i deserve this, this isn't your fault
He grabbed the pills and dumped them all in his hand there were about ten in his hand he put them in his mouth
'Goodbye Zoe. Goodbye Larry. Goodbye Cynthia. Goodbye evan,'
And Connor swallowed the pills.
He felt his phone buzz
Evi <3: con please, don't do it,
Connor: toop lake.
His vision doubled he felt calm he was standing waiting
Evan panicked and called the Murphy's landline,
"Hello Larry Murphy,"
" h-hi Mr Murphy, Connor he's i- i think he's killing himself,"
" who is this?"
"Evan-
There was a loud thump it sounded like a person hitting floor
Larry froze and dropped the phone he ran up stairs and ran straight to Connors door
he twosted the door and it opened what he saw he would never forget, his son collapsed on the floor a bottle of pills in his hands Larry pulled his cell out and called 911
"I'm at 34 wallow Street my son hes overdosed his not breathing,"
" sir do you know cpr,"
" yes i do,"
" okay what u need you to do is roll him in recoving position and I know his is gross but I need you to make him throw up,"
Larry put his phone on speaker and
"I'm sorry son,"
He stuck his finger down his throat
Connor gagged and a mix of pills and blood came out of Connor mouth
"Right now what,"
"Start cpr ambulance is on its way,"
Larry started chest compressions
"Come on boy, you're not leaving us, not yet,"
A few moments later Connor gasped and grabbed onto Larrys arm
"Wh," Connor started before he was cut off by Larry pulling him into a hug
"Dont scare me like that please,"
The ambulance arrived and banged in the door
Larry stood up and rushed to the door
" he's up here please, he woke up but I don't know,"
They nodded and rushed up there Stairs
They found Connor his eyes shut breathing steadily
They surrounded Connor and one of them knelt down
"60 bpm and dropping," he sighed
" alright tk get him up onto the gurny,"
" alright cap,"
Once he was up on the gurny he was put on a iv and he opened his eyes
" hey kid,"
" what's am I dead?"
" not today kid," Connor lazily nodded
Once they got into the ambulance it had started raining they got him in the ambulance and they got him too keep talking, Connor didn't realise Larry was in the ambulance
" ok Connor have you got a girlfriend?" Tk asked
" no, but I have a boyfriend his name is evan hansen," Connor slurred slightly his eyes drooping,
" Connor keep your eyes Open,"
" okay, I need to call or text evan please,"
" I'm sure your dad has that under control,"
" he doesn't know that we, are,"
"I do kid, he's the one that called me,"
Connor nodded and then suddenly just passed out
" bps dropping," tk announced
" he's in vfib," nancy said checking the monitor
" TK Get the defibrillator and nancy start compressions," captain vega she pulled scissors out and started to cut up the loose my chemical romance shirt, she put the sticky pads and connected them to his chest
"Now,"
They repeated it a few times before Connor breathing returned to normal
And his eyes slipped open
" welcome back," captain vega smiled at Connor
"Hi. What happened?"
" we lost you for a little while,"
Connor looked down
" my shirt,"
" I'll get you a new one okay?" Larry smiled
Connor nodded and let his head against the bed he felt the ambulance come to a stop
" this is where we part ways Connor,"
Connor nodded and we led put of the truck and put into a real gurny and Larry had to wait in the waiting room.
Connor was put into a sleep to help his body heal.
Evan ran into the hospital
" evan," a voice, it was Connors father
Evan turned
" is he-"
" he's alive. He's going to make,"
Evan did even know why he did this but he hugged Larry but he did
" mr murphy do you know why he,"
" no. He seemed to be down more but I just thought it was him, but this morning he didn't come out of his room and again o thought it was normal, I- it was my fault,"
Evan sighed " i think someone has been tormenting him on his phone, cause I saw him open his locker and letters fell out and he looked at one and stormed off into one of the bathrooms. He didn't tell me,"
Larry sighed and reached into his pocket
" I have his phone,"
In his hand sat a iPhone 12 with the phone case evan bought him for Christmas because evan was always panicking for Connor about him braking his phone.
Larry turned it on and the lock screen was a picture of him and evan
" he really likes you, like really likes you,"
Evan smiled he wasn't sure if Larry knew they were dating or not
"Do you know his password,"
" oh uh y-yeah it's 22-07-66,"
"What a strange set of numbers," Larry chuckled
Evan nervously chuckled that silly set if numbers is Evans birthday Connor set it as that to remember.
"Right I'm in,"
He looked at connors phone there was a addiction app which Larry skimmed across and finally his eyes fell into instagram, he clicked it open and when to the messages there was one account the was right under a group chat labelled John winchester murder fan club the account was named die_murphy Larry seethed in anger and clicked on the messages and scrolled to the top.
Die_murphy: go fucking kill yourself asshat
Con_murph: and you are?
Die_murphy: doesn't fucking matter, your not worthy of life, your just some cracked out asshole, kill yourself
Con_murph: i could just block you idiot
Die_murphy: you could but you won't.
Seen
Die_murphy: oh ignoring me, kill yourself, no body loves you, you think that Zoe likes you, she fucking hates you she's told me herself how much she wishes you dead, and your parents think you are a mistake, worthless asshole.
Seen
Die_murphy: worthless
Seen
Die_murphy: druggie
Seen
Die_murphy: fag
Seen
Die_murphy: kill yourself
Seen
Die_murphy: school shooter
Seen
Die_murphy: zoes perfect, zoes not a fag zoes not worthless, zoe has a life ahead of her,
Seen
Con_murph: i know
Die_murphy: aha he responds, he hasn't killed himself yet, it would really be a favour.
Seen
Die_murphy: go on do it
Seen
Die_murphy: grab your dads handgun and just bam
Seen
Die_murphy: or even slit your wrists open
Seen
Die_murphy: or take some pills
Seen
Die_murphy: oh I know go to a train track and jump in front of a train
Seen
Die_murphy: better yet hang yourself
Seen
Con_murph: you know what? I might, maybe give me more ideas...
Die_murphy: gladly
Die_murphy: stab your self
Die_murphy: electrocute yourself
Die_murphy slit your throat
Die_murphy: drink bleach
Die_murphy: jump off a really high building
Die_murphy: no one will miss you, your dear evan won't even notice if you disappeared. No one will, just do it, your nothing, your invisible, your an ass, your a druggie, your a fag.
Seen
con_murph: you realise your using the wrong your?
Die_murphy: KILL YOURSELF
Con_murph: fine.
Die_murphy: good ridence
Larry looked to evan " who is this?" His face was beat red
" i-i don't know sir,"
" I'm going to he police,"
"Connor's ready to have visitors,"
They nodded and followed the nurse.
When they walked into the room Connor was in. It was cold and dark. Connor was placed on the bed in the middle.of the room, sleeping. He looked so peaceful, not angry, not happy, peaceful. He was pale very pale. Evan pulled a chair and sat next to Connor with Larry sitting on the other side
" he should be waking up soon,"
Evan gently laced there fingers together connirs hands cold and soft.
" come on connor,"
" who could this die Murphy kid be?"
" I don't know, there's so many people who hate him, Everyone except our friend group,"
" what about that kleinman kid?"
" Jared, n-n-no he wouldn't,"
Larry nodded. They sat in silence when they heard rushed footsteps
" oh God con," Cynthia whispered
"Hun, he's okay," Larry sighed
"Thats my son, my baby, why, why, why,"
Zoe just stood there in shock
" I found these messages on his phone telling him to kill himself,"
" c-connor," Zoe whispered
Connor groaned and slowly opened his eyes to only shut them again
" why is it so fucking bright," Connor groaned quietly
Evan didn't think and kissed Connor on the lips
" dont scare me like that, please,"
Connor opened his eyes once again and stared directly into Evans eyes, tears welled up
" im sorry, I'm sorry,"
" hey hey, your okay now, you lived,"
" oh my God, you're TOGETHER," Cynthia shouted
Connor nodded
" guess this is my coming out, surprise I'm gay,"
It went silent,
"Connor, do you have any idea who was messaging you those harmful words,"
" no I have no idea," Connor admitted
"Is that why you did this, con?" Cynthia asked
Connor nodded " i started believing whi ever that it," Connor took a breath " that what they were saying and I just," his breathing was shaky and wrapped his arms around himself and started crying
"I snapped," he croaked
Evan held onto Connor rubbing his back
" you're okay, you lived," evan whispered.
Connor grabbed onto Evans jacket and gripped on it like his life depended on it.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry evan, I didn't mean too,"
"Its okay, its okay," evan calmly soothed Connor
Soon the police walked in and took coonors phone they tracked the account down and it was found it to be lisa Brayden a cheerleader.
Connors first day back home was just like normal expect with more restrictions
Evan was over almost every day.
So when he got back to school people were staring at him in shock and then he realised there was a massive shrine on his locker
"Oh my God Connor murphy?" A girl stopped
Connor recognised her
" your Alana beck right? What's going on,"
" well we thought you died, and we set this up in your honour."
Connor laughed and pulled the banner down to opened his locker
"CONNOR," evan shouted and wrapped his arms his boyfriend in the process knocking him over evan landed so he had pinned Connor to the ground
Connor burst into laughter and kissed evan on the nose.
" I love you,"
" I love you too hansen,"