Oshun never really thought about being in love because she had other things to worry about.
Like when she first found out she had magic in her actual blood, she freaked out for a week or two until her parents calmed her.
Being in love was different than having love for someone.
She had so much love for her mates and her family, but she wasn't in love with them. Perhaps Oshun was just in love with the idea of being in love.
She had thought it was just something make-believe. Romance novels weren't her thing, but she read her fair share of them.
The romance in those novels were too unrealistic. Too perfect and nice and indescribable. There was no chance love like that was real in reality.
It was a daft, phony picture painted to raise the expectations and standards of love. But when the reality hit—the reality of that love not being as sweet and true and wholesome as expected—people get hurt.
It was damaging. People get really hurt. Hearts get broken. Their expectations and standards get lower, which make them take the bare minimum.
The bare minimum should never be praised. Never.
She could fantasize and have dreams about being in love, but she knew she'd never be in love because of how closed off she was with everyone.
Someone could flirt with her and she would brush it off with a thank you or an oblivious smile or she would walk away.
Sometimes she couldn't tell when a person was flirting with her. As embarrassing as it was, it was true.
It wasn't intentional, but sometimes it was. Not to mention, every boy in the school always did horrible jobs at hiding their hormonal desires.
She would rather not be used for male pleasure, so maybe it was a good thing she just stuck to herself.
At this point, falling in love with one of the guys she got for this new marriage law wasn't an option. She wouldn't fall in love and neither of them would either.
She said that in the beginning, on the first day back, she wouldn't fall in love with either of the guys.
And that was before she got a little reminder on how cruel the platinum-haired boy was and how stone-cold the redhead was towards her.
So, no. She wouldn't fall in love. Falling in love was never a part of her plan.
"Miss Takahashi!"
Oshun nearly flinched at the abrupt shout shattering her thoughts. She blinked rapidly and saw Professor Flitwick at the front and the entire class staring at her.
"Sorry, Professor," she mumbled, abashed.
"Won't you share with the class what you were thinking about?" Flitwick folded his hands in front of him, waiting in mockery. "If my class is so boring, please, share your thoughts."
Oshun's face burned red. She wanted the floor to swallow her whole. Her palms clammed up and her heart was increasing its pace.
She said nothing to the professor.
"Too much daydreaming, isn't that right, Takahashi?" Draco's sonorous voice of derision called from the far back of the classroom. "Won't you share? I'm sure we'd love to hear."
"Fuck off, Malfoy," Joaquin spat harshly at the same time as his hand pulled Oshun's stool protectively closer to him. "Your snide comments are uncalled for."
Oshun wanted to just die right then and there. Her saliva felt thick as she swallowed. Anxiety was simmering in the depths of her blood, causing her veins to rush.
Flitwick's eyes flickered annoyedly. "Enough—"
"Oh, please, Jeong." Draco let out a chilled scoff as he leaned forward, arms crossed over the table. "Don't waste your breath protecting someone with filthy blood running through its veins."
"It?" Joaquin's eyes darkened.
"Well, what the fuck is it other than it?" Draco snarked back, mirthless.
"Oh, shut up, Malfoy." Giovanni's palms slammed on the surface of his desk as he turned to face the other Slytherin. "You're so fucking thirsty for the attention and validation that you're wasting your bloody breath just talking shit on the person you seem to despise so much."
Flitwick tried again, "Let's all—"
"Quit protecting this fucking Halfblood," Theodore snarled in unmistakable disgust, sitting with his blond friend. He leaned forward, fingers locked over his textbook. "You're a fucking Pureblood Slytherin, Cole. Don't embarrass us by protecting that."
Oshun's heart was beating like drums in her ears and her cheeks were fuming. She begged her eyes to tear away from the fight, but they stayed stuck on the scene. Hypnotized.
"Do you not understand how utterly stupid you both sound?" Giovanni's loud voice was deep and heard. He turned his entire body to stare down at his housemates with his sage eyes three shades darker. "You're speaking as if Halfbloods are a different species. We're all human, you dumb fucks."
Flitwick cleared his throat. "Perhaps—"
"What, you have a fucking problem with the fact that we've got self-respect, Cole?" Draco sniped wryly, raising a taunting brow. He glided his tongue on the inside of his cheek, a muscle in his cheek spasming.
"You and your daft Pureblood fetishes." Joaquin barked a humourless laugh, shaking his head at the two boys in the back of the class. "If you've got even a shred of self-respect, you'd learn how to act fucking human, dipshit. You sure as hell look like one, so fucking act like one."
"Stop, Joaquin." Oshun's voice was dry and hoarse as she put a hand on his thigh. She was damn near close to tears of humiliation, but she kept herself composed.
A cry of embarrassment was clogging her chest and made her shoulders dense. She forced down the cry, refusing to gain any more humiliation.
Draco's stool tipped back with a slam as he stormed up from his seat. He thrusted a slender finger at the Gryffindor. "Shut your fucking mouth before I make Parkinson shut it for you, Jeong." His voice dropped an octave lower, his jaws clenched.
Oshun sounded breathless with her short and quick breaths. She was feeling rather lightheaded and her chest was clogged with discomfort.
Every time she swallowed, it took great effort. It was like lumps were forming in her throat, unwilling to move.
Joaquin stood from his seat, turning to the blond boy with an evil glare. "Really, Malfoy? Throwing your lady friend into this like she's a fucking object? She's a person, you intolerable shit," he growled, his voice thunderously low. "Blimey, you know no respect whatsoever, do you?"
"Merlin's fucking tit. Do not fucking talk to me about respect, Jeong, when you're defending this filthy blood witch." Pure venom dripped off Draco's tongue at the last three words. His stormy eyes blazed in rage.
"Speak about Oshun like that one more time and see what happens," Giovanni seethed the words in outrage, sharp jaws tensing impossibly harder.
"Enough!" Flitwick boomed in impatience and fury.
Everyone fell silent.
"Detention, all five of you!" the Professor shouted sternly with irritation scrawled on his features. "In my classroom after dinner!"
"Five?!" Giovanni echoed, incredulous. His hands planted firmly on the desk in front of him. "Oshun didn't do anything, Professor. Let her off."
"Take that tone with me one more time and see what happens, Mister Cole," Flitwick drawled, pushing a finger down. "Now sit. All of you."
The boys who stood slipped down into their seats and Oshun was drowning in embarrassment and nerves. She dropped her head in her hands, screwing her eyes shut.
Breathe in, she told herself, Breathe out.
Deep breaths, she did. Just to calm her rapid breathing and heartbeat.
She felt Joaquin's hand on her thigh. He rubbed it soothingly in a way that helped her relax.
_____
"I'm sorry, Oshun," Joaquin said desperately from behind as she strode off. "I'm sorry I started it."
"Me too, Oshun, please." Giovanni sounded equally desperate and pleading. "Come on, we were just defending you."
"I already forgave you guys," Oshun said quietly, arms folded over her chest.
But she loathed the way the whole fight started because of her and the way all the attention was steered to her. It made her feel sickly and humiliated because she couldn't even speak to defend herself.
The attention alone made her feel nauseous, so the fact that the scene happened made her want to throw up.
"But you're walking like you're mad," Joaquin whined, a sigh trailing off his tongue. "You're doing that hip thing."
Oshun stopped and turned to face her friends, brows winkled. "Hip thing?" she repeated, bemused.
"This thing." Joaquin demonstrated solemn and uptight walking, emphasizing the hip movements.
Oshun couldn't help but laugh at how he looked walking, but then her face screwed up in horror. "I don't actually look like that when I walk angry, do I?" Her eyes widened.
Giovanni and Joaquin exchanged glances that said Well....
She clapped a hand over her mouth in terror. "No fucking way. I need to fix that," she mumbled into her palm.
Giovanni and Joaquin laughed quietly, nervously. "So you forgive us? We're sorry we brought the entire class' attention to you even more than Flitwick did," Giovanni said earnestly.
"It's fine, I told you already," Oshun assured, sending a small smile. "I know you guys were just looking out for me."
The two boys smiled in relief. "I'll walk you to your next class," Giovanni said sweetly.
"I'll see you guys at lunch." Joaquin did a salute with two fingers before strolling in the opposite direction.
"So now you see why I'm upset about having Malfoy as an option?" Oshun lowered her voice to a near whisper as she held Giovanni's arm between her own. "He has a weird fetish. Now, I don't usually fetish-shame, but..."
"He's only like that because of his pathetic excuse of a father," Giovanni muttered bitterly, "Nott too. And Zabini. And maybe every Pureblood in Slytherin except a few. Still, no excuse to be so contemptuous."
"And then Fred has a girlfriend and hates me for some reason," she mumbled as they made a left turn.
"He's dating Granger, right?" he asked, turning his head to capture the girl's gaze.
She nodded. "They've been dating since our first year," she added plainly.
"Maybe he doesn't hate you. Perhaps he just stays away from you because of Granger." His tone hushed down as they passed a group of sixth years. "He has no reason to hate you because you're a Halfblood. He's dating a Muggle-born, for goodness' sake."
Oshun heaved a heavy sigh. "I don't know, but I'm not going to fret over it," she said calmly. "And you. How do you feel that you got George? Have you guys spoken?"
He shrugged uncertainly. "I mean, George is a pretty boy and I like pretty boys," he said smoothly.
"Pretty boys are lovey," she agreed, and nodded.
"But I haven't spoken to him much because he's been busy with his stuff and I've been busy with my own stuff," he rambled on, "But we've got a year, so we're bound to talk sometime between."
"Hmmm..." she hummed, and leaned her head against his hard bicep. "Hey, you know Da'Shylah got Ginny Weasley."
His brows arched up quickly, dismayed. "Really? I wonder how her parents will react because the Weasleys are great, but they're not exactly known for something... uh, good for the Purebloods," he said slowly.
"I know. The Purebloods call them blood-traitors," she muttered, shaking her head. "But in all honesty, I don't see what the problem is. I mean, I get that Purebloods want to be on some sort of pedestal, but it doesn't mean they need to shit all over Muggles. You know?"
"Exactly my thoughts." He nodded, agreeing with her. "But I don't care what anyone says. The Weasleys are brilliant."
"Mmmm..." Oshun nodded slowly as they got to her class. "Thanks for walking me, Gio." She flashed him a small smile.
"You're very welcome." Giovanni's lips pushed affectionately to her temple.
As she strolled into the classroom, she noticed Hermione and Harry in the back row.
The two were speaking to each other in hushed voices. Their expressions were both equally interested in their conversation.
When Harry's green eyes captured Oshun's hooded gaze, the two of them stopped.