Rosé's POV
I haven't left my apartment in a whole week since that dreadful day. YG put out a statement saying that we are just friends and that was that. No sign of her, no texts, no calls, nothing from her. She really just left me, just like that when things got hard. But I still can't hate her, it's impossible. I still love her with all my heart and if I see her, I would take her back in a heartbeat, no explanation for this whole thing needed.
"Rosie, you have to get up and take care of yourself." Jennie told me gently as she sat on the side of my bed. I grabbed my blankets tighter and pressed my head further into y/n's hoodie that I'm wearing. I heard Jennie sigh to herself and soon my blanket was ripped away from me.
"Jennie!"
"Rosie, get your ass up in that shower!" I just stared at her and annoyingly got up out of my bed and grabbed some clothes before going to the bathroom. I closed the door behind me and when I set the clothes down, I deeply sighed as the shirt was y/n's. I looked at myself in the mirror and realized just how bad I fucking looked.
I turned the water on for the shower and stripped myself naked before hopping in and washing my body and hair. I took my time because I have nowhere to be. YG doesn't want me to leave my apartment for another week to make sure everything has died down. I sat down on the shower floor and just let the water fall onto my skin as I thought about y/n and what she might be doing.
"Hey, hurry up, we're going somewhere!" Jennie said as she knocked on the bathroom floor. I was confused because she also knows that I can't go anywhere right now. But nevertheless, I dragged myself upright and turned the water off. I changed rather quickly and I looked at myself again, liking how I didn't look too depressed now.
I opened the door and saw down the hall Jennie was indeed ready to go somewhere. I sighed as I walked over to her,
"Jen, you know I can't go anywhere."
"I know, duh. But that's only if you tell your manager you're leaving. So I called Joan and the three of us are going to meet Ashley at a small rented cottage. And if you're wondering about Jisoo and Lisa, those two idiots are going to just be playing games the whole time we are gone." She explained with a smile as I bit my bottom lip, wondering if I'm up to go out with my friends.
"Where's the cottage at?"
"I'm the mountains, duh." Jennie said as if I asked her a stupid question, "I already have your small bag packed, so let's go!"
I didn't have a choice and I went to my room and got a few smaller things to stuff into the bag that was on my bed. I checked to make sure I had everything I needed and I was now ready to go.
My eyes though drifted to my dresser and stared at the blue beanie. I didn't even think twice before grabbing it and putting it on my head. I walked out of my room and I saw Jennie immediately look at it, but she just gave me a small sympathetic smile and opened my front door. We both put masks on and headed down to the back entrance where Joan was going to pick us up.
We went out the back entrance and Joan was chilling in her car, listening to music as she waited for us. She didn't see us approaching, so I knocked on the window and she jumped at the sound. I smiled a little at her and she quickly unlocked the car,
"Hey you two! Ready for our small getaway?"
"Hell yeah I am!" Jennie said enthusiastically as I nodded my head while getting into the passenger seat; Jennie sat in the back. Joan passed the aux cord to Jennie and she grinned widely as she went through all her playlists, trying to find the perfect one.
Soon the throwback songs started to play through the speakers. But ironically the first one that played was 'The Only Exception'. Jennie fumbled for her phone and skipped it, knowing that I associate the song with y/n. I rested my head against the window and the girls were silent for a little before cautiously singing along to the other songs.
I just sat back and watched as the cityscape turned into nature. It took us about an hour and a half to get to the cottage, but Ashley's car soon came into view as it was parked off to the side. Joan pulled up next to it and Ashley must've heard us as she opened the front door and ran out happily to greet us.
"Jen, Joan, Rosie!" She said happily as she made sure not to trip on the gravel driveway. We got out and she went to hug me first. I wrapped my arms around her and held one of my best friends close to me, "I'm really glad you're here." She whispered into my ear, knowing that I most likely didn't want to come for obvious reasons.
She moved onto hugging Joan and then Jennie with equal amounts of happiness and passion. Ashley then went to help us with our bags, even though there really wasn't any need for it. We all stepped inside of the cottage and I smiled softly as it was very earthy and cozy. The weather now was a bit colder and muggy outside, so this definitely felt right.
Ashley gave us a small tour of the place and I decided I really like the feel of it all. The colors were earth tones and small potted plants were spread about on every windowsill. Jennie and I would be rooming while Ashley and Joan shared the other bedroom.
So Jennie and I placed our bags over on a small couch to the side in our room and made ourselves situated. I was pulling out a few of my toiletries and placing them on the bathroom countertop when I felt eyes on me. I glanced over my shoulder and noticed Jennie quickly averted her eyes away from something; that something being me.
"Jennie, what's up?" I sighed out as I knew something was on the top of her tongue. She shifted around on the chair she was sitting in. With her posture and facial expression, she came off looking small and vulnerable.
"Um... how are you feeling?" She asked in a whisper as her eyes finally met mine. I pushed away the urge to ask her why she'd ask me a question she clearly knows the answer to.
"Horrible." I said flatly, making her flinch a tiny bit. I ran my fingers through my hair, "so we have wine? I need a glass because I know all of you are going to want the full story."
"Rosie–"
"Before you tell me I shouldn't use wine as a coping mechanism, I'm not. It's going to be one, maybe two glasses max. And I know you three will make sure of that." I told her as she just nodded her head after a few seconds,
"Okay. But can we at least get some early dinner into our stomachs before the alcohol?" I realized she was absolutely right and we both went out of the bedroom to find the other two. The pair were sitting on the couch watching an NBA game since Joan is a huge LA Lakers fan. I know damn well Ashley probably has no clue what's going on. I understand basketball, y/n taught me a lot more about it because she's a fan of a few teams.
"Hey, can we have an early dinner?" Jennie asked as she plopped down next to Ashley. She nodded her head,
"For sure. I stocked the kitchen before you guys came, so we can either make something or order out tonight."
"Can we have tteokbokki?" I asked her as her eyes drifted over to me, a smile forming on her lips.
"Yeah! Of course! Does anyone want to help me make it?"
"I'll help since these two understand baseball."
"It's basketball, Jennie." Joan corrected her with a laugh as Jennie just shrugged her shoulders,
"Same thing." Jennie and Ashley disappeared into the kitchen and I made myself comfortable on the couch. I looked at the TV and recognized that the game that was being played was at Madison Square Garden, where Joan had taken me to a game once. It was the Knicks vs the Lakers, two teams that are very well known in the sports world.
"Guess what?" Joan asked me as her eyes stayed on the screen, watching a fast break happen.
"What?"
"I'm going to be getting a dog!" I gasped,
"Oh my god, really? What breed?"
"Well the animal shelter said he's a mutt, so they have no clue. But to me he looks like a mix between a golden retriever and an Australian shepherd, along with something else. But here I'll show you a picture of him." She said as she got her phone out to pull up a picture of her soon to be dog. Soon a picture of this adorable dog popped up on her screen,
"Awe, he's so cute! How old is he and what's his name?"
"His name is Bolt and he's 3 years old." Joan told me as we fell into deep conversation about dogs and how she can take care of him best. I told her that him and Hankie would probably get along because Hankie does like other dogs to play with.
That thought made me remember all the tweets and social media posts blinks would make with screenshots of Hankie playing, all blurry and fucked up. I use those on my private Twitter and Instagram all the time.
Our conversation lasted a while as Ashley called us both into the kitchen. I glanced at the TV and saw the Lakers were up big time, so Joan could rest easy while eating with us. The room smelled amazing and Jennie was setting up the table for us. Ashley brought over the food and we all thanked her and sat down on our chairs.
We started talking about many different topics as we ate, avoiding the one that I know was on all their minds for now. I didn't contribute much to the conversations, I mostly listened and maybe added a few things here and there. The food was delicious, so I was focusing on that more than talking.
"So how have you and Jisoo been?" Joan asked Jennie.
"We've been doing really well. She wanted to come on this little getaway with us, but I knew Lisa wouldn't want to go, so she was amazing and decided to stay back with her. I'm really happy."
Happy. Oh what I would do to be that happy again.
I gave her a smile that was both genuine and fake. I was genuinely happy that her and Jisoo have been doing so well, but it was also fake because I was extremely jealous of them. No one would bat an eye seeing them link arms or hold hands out in public because they're just that close. I envy how they are always near each other and live literally a few apartments away from one another.
That's one thing I wish my relationship with y/n had. I hoped that at some point further down the line, which is no longer in the picture, y/n would've wanted to either move in with me or get her own apartment here in Seoul. I wanted her to be close to me because I longed for her so much when she was so far away. There were many times I just wanted her to quiet her job in order to be with me. But that mindset was selfish, so I never said a word because she loved her job.
"God, I am stuffed." Ashley said as she pushed her plate towards the middle of the table a little bit. I had already finished my food and I was just mindlessly moving my chopsticks around.
"Me too. Do you guys want to play some card games?" Joan asked as she looked between the three of us.
"I'm down with that." I voiced as she nodded her head, getting up to go to get a deck of cards from her bag. She came back from the bedroom with a pack of playing cards. She took them out of the box and started to shuffle them as Jennie went to grab a bottle of wine, along with glasses.
We all decided to play blackjack, or also known as 21, first since it's rather easy. No betting was going to take place because we didn't want to make this too competitive. Well, it'll get competitive anyway, we all just don't want to lose anything. Joan shuffled the cards and then gave us all the proper amount. Jennie uncorked the red wine bottle and placed the glasses down on the table.
She poured our drinks for us and I took that bad boy right away and took a sip, letting the bitterness of the wine coat my mouth and tongue. I didn't give a damn if they looked at me, I just flipped my cards up for me to see and I was ready to go.
~~~~~
We played multiple different card games and it was now 10:25pm and we were all on the couch watching 'Frozen II' for some reason. I could tell there was a looming feeling from the three of them towards me. I was just waiting for them to start the conversation, not me. I sighed and continued waiting, but they were too scared to speak up. So, with a bit of alcohol in my system, I spoke up,
"So what do you guys want to know about the whole break up thing?" I looked at all of them and they just glanced amongst themselves before Ashley spoke up,
"Do you know why she really left?"
"Well in her letter to me, she told me that I should pick music and my career over her. The funny thing is I was coming back to fight for her and probably give up my career for her," I looked at Jennie as she was shocked, "you didn't know that. But yeah, I was willing to get kicked out of Blackpink to live a life with her. The company said they'd blacklist me from the other labels, but I knew I wanted to be with her."
"I didn't know you thought about that." Jennie whispered to me, sadness evident in her eyes,
"Believe me, on the ride back to my apartment, I was thinking about all the different ways my life could go. I knew that if I did get kicked out of Blackpink like they said, I'd obviously still be in your guys' lives, just in a different way; no longer a band mate and friend, but just a friend."
"You really loved her so much you'd sacrifice everything you worked for just to get to live a life with her?" Joan asked me. I nodded my head,
"Correction: love. Even though she's ripped my heart in two and smashed it into millions of pieces, I still love her. And yes I would because I've already had a music career, but I haven't had a real life, ya know?"
They stayed silent for a moment as they were digesting everything I was telling them. It was quite a lot because I told them I'd sacrifice my whole career for a girl that Ashley and Joan have never even formally met.
"Have you been able to contact her at all?" Ashley asked me as I shook my head sadly, feeling tears form in my eyes,
"No, and that really hurts. She blocked my number and me on all social media accounts. I've spammed Somi, her best friend, and she just reads my messages and doesn't respond. I need to know if y/n is okay because people are going to be after her. I don't want her to get hurt because of me." I said with a small sniffle as a single tear rolled down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away and gathered myself. Then something hit me,
"Jennie, how come you knew y/n was gone and you knew about the letter? Did she say goodbye to you?" I asked at lightning speed, my heart rate picking up at the possibility of hearing what y/n had said to her before she left.
The attention shifted over to her and she was visibly uncomfortable. Her eyes frantically moved between the three of us as her mind was reeling. An awkward laugh came from her,
"What? What are you tal–"
"Jennie!" I shouted at her, not wanting her to bullshit anymore about this. I need as much information as I can about my lover leaving me, and I know she has some answers. She sunk down into the couch and let out a sigh,
"Okay..."
Flashback to when y/n was leaving
Jennie's POV
I was sitting on my couch watching another episode of 'Black Mirror' when a weak knock came from my door. I had a hunch that it might be y/n because I know Rosie had been gone at YG for some time now. She probably doesn't want to be alone right now, so I'll be more than happy to keep her company before her girlfriend gets back.
Hopefully with good news, too.
I paused the show and got up from my couch, a smile on my face as I approached my door. I didn't bother looking to see who it was before opening the door, so I swung it open. My stomach dropped at the sight in front of me.
In a mess of tears, y/n stood in front of my door crying.
"Y/n, what happened?" I asked her gently as I reached out to bring her into a hug in order to hopefully try and calm her down. But she took a small step back, not allowing me to be near her.
That's when my eyes drifted down to see her luggage right next to her.
"Why do you have that?" I asked her as I pointed to her bag. A sob escaped her lips and I just waited for her to answer my damn question.
"I'm leaving."
"WHAT?" I yelled at her, causing her to flinch at my tone. She wiped her tears away and composed herself enough to get a few sentences out.
"I'm leaving to save Rosie. She's going to give up everything for me and I can't let her do that. All the hate she's getting is because of me, so I'm hurting her." She explained as I shook my head immediately after she was done speaking,
"No! No, you aren't hurting her! Everything will end up okay, but you need to stay in order for that to happen." I tried to reason with her. My vision started to get blurry as my own tears started to well up in my eyes.
"I can't stay and put her in danger, Jennie. You've seen the people outside wanting her head chopped off because of the news! I need to protect her, even if it means breaking her heart that I promised to cherish." She said as she shook from emotion. I let my tears fall and watched as she looked so helpless and vulnerable.
"So you're just leaving her, and us? Right when things get hard and she'll need you most?" I asked her, hoping to get her to come to her senses. I want nothing more than to drag her into my apartment and lock her in my bedroom, but she needs to make this decision on her own.
"I have no choice." She whispered to me as her head dropped in disappointment.
"Yes you do! You make your own decisions, so tell me why the fuck this is it!" I yelled at her once more, my anger and frustration getting the best of me.
Then she almost just flipped a switch and became emotionless.
Her eyes stopped producing tears and she just started back at me silently. Her breathing was still uneven from crying, but I was still focused on how she changed moods so quickly.
"I don't need to make a decision when there is clearly a correct option." Y/n said as I scoffed,
"That's bullshit!"
"I'm leaving and that's final. I left Rosie a note on her bed and it explains all my reasoning. I still love her obviously, but there's nothing I can do to make this situation better. I love you girls as well. Tell Lisa and Jisoo I love them so much," she then stuck her hand out for me, "and thank you for being an older sister to me. I love you, Ruby Jane."
"I don't want to shake your hand because that'll really mean goodbye." I said to her as my bottom lip quivered. She gave me a sad smile,
"I know I'll fucking cry again, but how about a hug then as our farewell?" I slammed into her body and cried against her shirt as my arms wrapped around her body. She held me tight and I felt a few tears hit the top of my shoulder where my shirt didn't cover.
"I don't want you to leave," I said in between cries, "can you please stay?"
"I can't, Jennie. I'm sorry." She said as her voice cracked, causing her to clear her throat embarrassingly, "jesus christ I sounded like shit."
I chuckled at what she had said, loving how she just says whatever comes to her mind most of the time.
"See, I'm going to miss that from you."
"You'll have Lisa and Jisoo to do that for you." I rolled my eyes and pulled back from the hug, holding onto her shoulders,
"I've dealt with those idiots for far too long; you're a breath of fresh air, so now I won't be able to breathe as well when you're gone."
"I see you also have a way with words." Y/n said with a smile. She took one deep breath and released it, "who knows, maybe we'll see each other again some day. But please don't try to contact me, I'm already having a hard time with this."
"Okay, I hope to see you again some time." I told her honestly as she nodded her head,
"Me too. I wish all four of you the best of luck with your careers. I love you all." She reached towards my hand and dropped Rosie's apartment key in it.
And that was the final thing she said to me before taking the handle of her luggage into her hand and rolling it alongside her. I stood outside my door to watch her step inside the elevator safely. She turned around and pressed the lobby button, sending me one last smile before disappearing from my life completely.
End of flashback
I didn't know what to think of everything that Jennie had just said. She tried to stop y/n from going, but she still had enough willpower to leave. And Jennie also got to physically tell her goodbye, which I wanted so desperately. I just want to see her again, but YG won't let me go near New York City.
"So you got a proper farewell and I didn't?" I asked her as she just nodded her head, wiping away a tear that had fallen as she told the story. I bitterly chuckled and got up from my seat, placing my empty wine glass down on the table.
"Where are you going?" Ashley asked me as I started to leave the living room. I looked back at the three worried faces looking at me,
"I'm going to cry because I miss her so much. Please just give me some alone time." I said as they were hesitating to agree. But they soon did and I walked into Jennie and It's shared bedroom. I closed the door behind me and I collapsed onto the bed and cried so hard once more over the same girl, for the same reasons. I hugged my knees close to my chest and cried to myself.
I just want her to come back to me.
—————
THIS BOOK IS NOW OVER 200,000 WORDS. so now we know that y/n went and said goodbye to jennie, interesting. is this kind of a filler chapter? yes. ALSO, my dumbass cant spell forty to save my life, so when the inevitable epilogue comes out, dont mind the notifications u may get regarding chapter 40-46 lol. thank u so much for reading and ill see u guys in the next chapter... strap your seatbelts on for that one. LOVE U ALL <3