"You're sure this is the step you want to take? Miss Pierce because I'd like to inform you that taking this program at home is much more difficult," the head of the school speaks and I'm thankful that I brought Miles with me, somehow doing this alone feels much more stressful than before, now that I'm pregnant I feel as though there is so much more than I'm holding on my shoulders. And with barely three hours of sleep because of yesterday's painting and unpacking, I feel beyond tired.
"Yes, I'm sure," I tell her, and she raises her brows at me and her eyes under her thin glasses that make her look fifty when she really looks to be newly forty.
"Okay, but I do advise you to stay here in school with a dorm room--"
"She said she's sure," Miles speaks, his jaw clenched and his eyes harsh on the table right beside her hand.
"Right,"
"One more thing, we've had a few pregnant students and they've all said that they prefer--"
"Okay, we're done here," Miles steps up calmly and grabs my hand, leading both of us out of the room.
Not coming back to WSU feels odd, but I know that this will be better, it will be more comfortable while I'm pregnant and since Miles will be switching to NYU and Stephanie has moved in with Elijah, skipping most of her classes because she no longer has a dorm, I have very little I'll miss.
"Thank you," I whisper to Miles, it always seemed to be that he was rude, but now I understand that he never was. He always kept himself in his best interest and now that I'm also under that umbrella, I know just how good it feels to not be stomped on, the way I used to be. Miles has thought me to stand up for myself no matter what and I've realized that that's what I've needed my whole life.
Miles reaches his warm hand to mine and I feel protected whenever I'm with him.
A LARGE VAN OF A CAR IS parked outside of our house and Miles lets me know they're getting all of the trash we're throwing out for donation which makes me giggle.
"It's not trash," I tell him and he smiles which just makes me laugh.
A man in a white uniform, a cigarette in his mouth, and a hat on his bald head. Both of them let me know almost in unison that they're going to lift up the couch which makes me feel so feminine for some reason. There's something about being made to stay behind when heavy things are moved or lifted away that reminds me that I'm a woman and it oddly feels both comforting and good.
The couch is moved and the living room space feels empty and while it's packed into the car, the guys come back and take down the old light in the ceiling, replacing it with a long chandelier with faux diamonds hanging all the way down to the point where if I jump high enough it feels as though I'll touch the bottom ones.
Miles and I both realized that this needs to feel like our home and not the party home it once used to be and I'm glad that we're changing out everything that reminds us of the way things used to be.
I run up the stairs and into the now baby room. The paint has finally dried and I can't believe that this room can now be fully made into a nursery.
the paint has been tucked away and the floor has been wiped clean off everything. I was always surprised that Miles, even with Valentina was able to still keep everything clean, do his own laundry and dishes and everything in between; something most guys never learn, which is why it has always been important to my mother that I find a gentleman; a real man like Jace but I've found someone better; someone I know I'll always be in love with and I can only hope that Jace will find that in Rosie, even if it takes half of their marriage.
I slowly place the crib into the room, taking my time to find the best spot and I decide by the window and then I somehow attempt to place the open shelf beside the left wall, filling it with towels, bottles, and everything we might need to grab whenever we check on the baby.
I've gotten much more used to the pregnancy but doing all of this after only a month of being pregnant, makes me feel as though this is reality and it hits me every time. This is really happening, this is real and it feels both amazing and terrifying. But I want to go through this process and I'm glad Miles wants to also.
"It's empty but beautiful," I hear a voice behind me but before I turn to face Miles he hugs me from behind.
"This really is real," he says and I know that he's feeling the emotions that I am. I turn to him and as I get on my toes, I reach for a kiss and then I stare into his hazel eyes.
"Thank you for going through this with me," I speak, my voice slow and quiet.
"No," he shakes his head.
"I'm not going through this with you, this is just . . . us," he says and I know exactly what he means, he's not staying to be responsible or kind, he's here because of course he's here and it has nothing to do with the baby. He wants whatever we will get and I'm forever grateful that we've fought for one another more times than I can count. Because now finally our life can begin.
AFTER PUTTING TOGETHER the nursery, I'm satisfied with the way we've organized things, and how everything seems to be in order and reachable. The baby monitors are tucked away in a shelf; something we won't use yet, and the baby bag is right beside it. I can't wait for this journey with Miles.
We make our way downstairs and after the truck has left with all of Miles's old things, I'm glad that I'm finally going to be seeing the new.
Miles covers my eyes gently with his hand and leads me down the stairs. He uncovers them and lets me open my eyes to a brand new living room. Some of these things i didn't even realize we had bought or that could be installed so quickly, but somehow the house seems much bigger and spacious now and I can already envision myself on the beautiful 'L' shaped couch with our baby in my arms. the small wall, covering the kitchen has been knocked down, leaving just a hallway in the entrance that then leads to both the kitchen dining room and living room.
New lights have been installed that look like little silver circles of light in the ceiling alongside the tall long chandelier that I saw in the store and couldn't take my eyes off.
Everything seems much dimmer and relaxing and I notice that it almost looks completely re-done. a glass-coffee table has been placed by the couch and a fluffy black rug underneath the coffee table and half of the couch. A chair is beside the couch at an odd but somehow perfect ankle, facing the coffee table and the TV in front.
The floor is left as it always has been but it's looking much homier now. The dark walls compliment everything in the room, and I'm surprised that it all feels relaxing despite it being colorless.
I spot the kitchen table, with a long stretched Christmas light-looking chandelier above the whole of the long table, with plants on top and two beautiful black vases.
"When did you do all of this? I--" I can't imagine I was this long upstairs in the nursery. Miles smiles and parts his lips,
"Some while you were asleep, some right now . . . you didn't seem to notice when you walked by." He explains and I giggle. I must have been so busy caring for WSU and the baby room that I completely forgot to look around me as I entered the home, focusing only on the nursery.
"Thank you, Miles," I tell him, turning to him, his hands instantly on my lower back.
he leans into my neck and with that irresistible voice he whispers, "There's nothing you ever need to thank me for,
"Because you came into my life and gave me color, and brought every good emotion I've had," he speaks and with that, he grabs my butt with both hands and places me on the dining room table, his lips in my neck, one of his hands now in my hair as the other one zips down the zipper of his pants.