Gripping into the basketball I take my time getting to the classroom. I don't want to make a scene nor do I want to lose my composure. That kind of privilege isn't something I have at this school. I need to keep myself together at all times unless I want to be talked about for the next week.
I'm not stupid. I know Colton is drifting away and I noticed last year when he started acting distant. He went from calling me every night to talk about his day to texting me 'nothing much' whenever I ask how it was.
I've tried talking to different guys and trying it out with them but they aren't the same as Colton. Even though he's losing his interest with me he's still all I have. He's fun. Being around him is such a mood boost but he's drifting away and it kills me.
The way he seemed so exited to talk to her irked me. I don't want to admit it to myself but the way he looked at her reminded me how how he'd look at me last year. I know it's a stretch but I couldn't help but feel my stomach churn. Who even is the girl. I know she's Damon's sister now that I've recognized her but does she even talk? I'm not an asshole, I pay attention to who's in my class so I can at least call them by the right name but I didn't even notice her.
Scanning the nearly empty classroom I finally pinpoint where she is. Sat at the very back she's leaned over her desk with her phone in hand. Taking my time to get to her I get a good look at her whilst I still can. She's wearing a worn out block striped sweater with versions shades of brown. It looks way to big on her so I assume it's her brothers? Better yet, a boyfriend of hers.
Tilting my head to see what pants she's wearing from under the desk, she matches the sweater with grey pants and black boots. Safe option. Shades go with almost everything. Though the way she styles it is definitely unique. Looking back to her eyes she's staring at me now so I throw a smile in her direction.
Sitting down in the empty seat next to her she looks up at me from her textbook. I've never spoken to her before but I've heard bits about her.
'Hey Katie.' I blink at her expressionless but she keeps her eyes on me before glancing around the room. Wondering if I forgot her name or mispronounced it, I could've been certain that's the name Colton said. 'It is Katie...right?'
'Are you being forced to talk to me or something?' She asks me dumbfounded.
'Colton asked me to give you this. It's Damon's apparently.' Ignoring her question I place the basketball in front of her.
Nodding she places it besides her things. 'Right of course...I'll give it to him, thank you.'
Staring at her sweater once again I can't help but cross my leg over the other. Her outfit is so low effort but she pulls it off like it's nothing. With a face like that, I doubt anything would look bad on her. Clearing my throat I touch my neck, skimming the pendant Colton had given me for my sixteenth birthday. What if he preferred girls who dressed down? Is that what he'd prefer?
'Lilah?' Katie waves her hand in front of my face snapping me back into reality, 'you don't have to sit here anymore...your friends just came in,'
Glancing over to the door I notice them enter. Jasmine and Elaina give me awkward looks as then sit down at a three person desk signaling me to come over.
Ignoring them I look back at Katie before forcing a smile, 'no. I'm actually going to sit here. If you don't mind?' Not refusing she just looks back at my friends. She doesn't trust me but she lets me sit here anyways.
'Er. Yes- yeah that's cool.' She shifts uncomfortably.
Touching my lip I watch her squinting my eyes trying to figure out what exactly about her is special. If I can pinpoint something or anything that would appeal to Colton maybe I could try and mimic it but I can't figure it out. For a pretty person she still looks relatively plain, brown hair that's tied back into a mid height ponytail and hazel eyes.
Nothing about her is 'bright' or distinctive so why would Colton look at her that way.
'Are you friends with Colton?' I suddenly ask her.
She stops writing before sighing under her breath. As if she found what she was looking for. 'I'm not interested in Colton, Lilah. If that's the reason you're talking to me, he only spoke to me at my locker because he knows the guy I'm going after. We've never spoken at school before that. All our conversations consist of nothing but him pestering me when Damon is around just to annoy him. Otherwise I don't exist to him. Nothing but the little sister who exists to exist.'
'Mmm. That's not why I'm here,' I can't help but feel a level of relief but I don't let my guard down. We aren't all that close so I don't know if she might be telling me what I want to hear. It happens far to often with me.
Turning towards the front of the class once the teacher decides to make an entrance, I lean back into my seat. If I'm going to be sitting next to her I may as well listen to the teacher to kill off any tense energy. It would be way easier if I just didn't sit here but I'm more eager to figure her out more than anything.
Taking out my predominantly empty textbook I begin writing down whatever the teacher is saying. Seconds turn into minutes and soon the bell goes off, looking down at my book I filled both pages feeling slightly archived. I've never been this focused in class before.
Hearing Katie get out of her seat I grab my stuff quickly following her. Realizing I'm walking besides her she gives me a side eye look slightly shocked.
'You've been looking really surprised lately,' I comment.
My original plan was to scare her away from Colton but given their 'relationship' that he describe to me between them it wouldn't work. She would still be around him frequently whether I liked it or not so it's better to keep her closer to me. Does she actually have a rough relationships with him or is she lying just to shake me off? I don't know the girl.
'Because I wouldn't expect you to talk to me?' She looks away, vaguely letting her guard down. As if she's growing more used to me being here.
'Why not?' I tilt my head at her denying the obvious. We're just way too different to get along, 'you're very pretty so wouldn't you be approached more often than most?'
'I've been told.' Her mumble surprising me. I haven't really met anyone who's reacted negatively to being told they look nice, maybe she likes to be called ugly or something.
Looking away from her I notice Alex walking over to us more fixated on me rather than her.
'Hey...Lilah,' he speaks to me but his eyes are on Katie. I assume he's wondering if I'm bothering her.
'Are you two friends?' I lost track of who Alex speaks to after a certain point in time. 'Didn't know.'
'You don't know a lot of things about me,' he shakes it off. I don't respond to that because he's right.
Alex and I have known each other since kindergarten, our parents are friends and I go to his house more often than not. I tend to stay in his living room on my phone whilst he stays in his bedroom until my parents finish talking to his. We don't talk when I'm over since we aren't friends, our parents are.
It wasn't always so awkward. There was a moment were we where actually friends. Almost a decade ago from now we were the ones begging our parents if we could hangout or stay for longer. All that begging and extra time together eventually made it the normal. We no longer had to ask anymore, we knew which days we'd be seeing each other and which days we wouldn't. Heck it became so normal that after our friendship died off in middle school we still ended up seeing each other because of it.
I'm not really sure why it did, we just never bothered talking anymore. Honestly I don't think we've tried having a conversation since the 6th grade.
'Hey.' I answer blandly trying to be nice since I'm going over to his house tonight. Then turning my attention to Katie again and touching her back, 'see you next class?'
Before she can say anything I turn away heading to my locker. Opening it in greeted by all the Polaroids I have of my friends causing me to smile. I keep every single one even if they're corny or bad. A memory is still a memory.
Despite contrary beliefs I'm not a shitty friend. I've always looked out for all of them but I can't blame people for assuming i don't since my good to bad ratio is other peoples eyes is pretty fucked up. A lot of things people say about me are false but I ignore it instead of addressing them. So people are left to assume it's true, not that I care anymore.
They're all just rumors. People can believe what they want to believe at this point. Zipping open my pencil case, I pull out my lipstick before turning to the mirror that Colton put on the inside of my locker door. He had installed it for me during his free break since I'm always struggling and using the small mirror in my three shade-eyeshadow pallet. It was cute and I thanked him for it.
He did it a while ago and now that I rethink the whole thing, I think it's the last time he had done anything cute for me. Shaking it off, I try not to let it get to me. Basketball is probably just keeping him busy, I still have time with him. I hope I do at least.
Diverting my attention to the little message he had written in permanent marker on the top corner of the glass, it won't come off even if I tried to take it off. He wrote it there when he first put it in for me.
'You look pretty today :)'
Frowning I close my lipstick before shoving it back I into my pencil case.
I can't lose him.