Can you see my heart?
You are the only one for me.
I'll be there right behind you, Just one step behind.
You don't know my feeling.
I feel sick and cried when I see you with him.
Because of this love alone.
"Hyuuung!!!"
Chanyeol turned around. His smile shown when he found Joohyuk smiling across the street by waving his hand excitedly.
He ran as soon as the crosswalk light turned green. Chanyeol walked over to him.
"I miss you!"
Joohyuk hugged Chanyeol. He kissed the top of his head without realizing it, and Chanyeol also didn't notice the little things Joohyuk always did every time he saw him.
"I really miss you!"
Joohyuk embraced Chanyeol and led him to continue walking towards where Joohyuk was standing before.
"How's Canada? Beautiful?"
"Yes. I already invited you, but you don't want to come."
"Hyung has a lot of work, Hyuk"
Joohyuk rolled his eyes in exasperation. He grabbed Chanyeol's hand and walked beside him.
"You and Kris are still dating?"
"Yes"
"Oh"
Joohyuk was silent after that. However, knowing the fact that Chanyeol loves someone else doesn't make him want to give in. He even has plans to confess his love on the playground one day.
"Is he good?"
"Yes, he is very good. Too good” Chanyeol said with a warm smile. Joohyuk sneered, but his grip on Chanyeol's hand tightened.
Chanyeol probably knew Joohyuk had feelings for him, but he was just being nice and pretended not to know. Joohyuk wondered what Chanyeol would say when he confessed his love to him one day.
“Wow”
Chanyeol stopped his steps in front of a shop that sells scarves. It's already fall. The wind started blowing hard. It takes the colors white and green.
"For me right?"
Chanyeol turned around. He looked at Joohyuk right in the eye and nodded. "Yeah, come here and look down," he said. Joohyuk smiled brightly then followed Chanyeol's orders.
Chanyeol wrapped the green and white scarf around Joohyuk's neck and concluded. He then smiled,
"I am handsome?"
“Yes, Nam Joohyuk. You're so handsome" Chanyeol complimented with a warm smile. "Wait here. I will pay for it.”
Joohyuk nodded. He stood there quietly waiting for Chanyeol to pay for his scarf. Then when Chanyeol came back, Joohyuk grabbed his hand directly.
"You really like holding hands, don't you?"
Joohyuk nodded quickly until his hair ruffled. Chanyeol laughed and ruffled his hair.
"Like a child~" he said while pinching Joohyuk's cheek who was staring at him unblinkingly with his heart pounding madly.
"By the way, is the new restaurant still far away?"
“N-no. J-just a minute. In front of that building"
Chanyeol laughed and took the first step. Joohyuk followed him, his hand still tightly gripping Chanyeol's.
"Why are you nervous?"
"No problem"
“Tch..”
Chanyeol kept smiling. His smile brought millions of feelings of warmth and made Joohyuk's heart beat really crazy. Joohyuk looked down at the pavement.
Joohyuk really wants Chanyeol. He wanted Chanyeol to look at him like how Joohyuk looked at him. Joohyuk wants Chanyeol to love him as much as Joohyuk loves Chanyeol. Joohyuk doesn't know,
Forced feelings will always hurt. Not only those who love who are sick, but those who are loved will also feel pain.
"Eh?! SUNBAE!!”
Chanyeol let go of Joohyuk's hand and ran to Kris who had just come out of a cafe.
Chanyeol's footsteps walking away were like a sledgehammer hitting his world. Making everything vibrate by leaving a wound that doesn't bleed.
Chanyeol ran until his thick hair swayed. His smile was wider than the smile he had previously shown in front of Joohyuk.
“Sunbae!!”
Chanyeol was standing right in front of Kris. Kris looked at him lovingly, affectionately, full of admiration. He stroked Chanyeol's head and ruffled his hair.
“Sunbae are you alo-AH! AANNYEONGhaaseyo…” his voice softened when he realized that he had raised his voice in front of the seniors – Kris' friends – just now.
"My lover, Park Chanyeol," said Kris introducing Chanyeol to Hyunseung and Seungri who now had a mocking expression.
"Finally this young refrigerator fell in love too"
Chanyeol blinked in confusion. But he can catch it, Kris is a player, but never falls in love. And Chanyeol is a new variable in Kris' life that can make Kris fall in love quickly.
"Well, have fun!" said Seungri and Hyunseung at the same time before they both walked away from Kris and Chanyeol.
Kris looked at Chanyeol who was wearing a t-shirt, white sweater, and a black jacket that wasn't too thick. He smiled sincerely. He took out a red scarf from his bag and wrapped it around Chanyeol's neck. Tie the scarf with a simple knot.
"I'm not cold~"
"Annie. I don't want you to get sick"
“Overprotective!”
"Just for you," said Kris. He pressed his forehead to Chanyeol's. Touching the tip of their nose.
Joohyuk was exactly three steps behind them but neither of them seemed to remember his whereabouts.
Seeing the two smiling and loving each other made him feel hot in his heart.
He took a deep breath and then walked over to the two of them. Kris' hand that cupped Chanyeol's face just slipped away.
"HI SUNBAE."
Joohyuk greeted curtly. Standing in the middle of Kris and Chanyeol. He shot Kris a sharp look.
"Hi." Kris returned the greeting curtly. His face turned flat. "What are you doing here with my girlfriend?"
"Ah! We plan to eat ramyeon at the new ramyeon restaurant up front. Hyung, are you coming?"
"Annie—
"Yes"
Joohyuk looked at Kris with disgust. Kris forced a smile, “Babe, go first” he said and Chanyeol nodded in agreement.
He goes first. Just Kris and Joohyuk followed with the same emotion. Kris and Joohyuk were both jealous.
"He is mine," said Kris firmly. He then quickened his pace and embraced Chanyeol.
"Seungri hyung and I just talked about the amusement park that will open near the Han river"
The two chatted with each other smiling. Chanyeol sometimes laughs. Joohyuk saw Chanyeol as if he was in his comfort and safety zone beside Kris.
Joohyuk wanted Chanyeol to look at him like that. He wanted Chanyeol to smile as sincerely and wide as that in front of him.
Joohyuk's footsteps stopped. He stared at the sidewalk in silence. For a moment emotion filled his heart. Emotions of jealousy and envy.
Joohyuk is jealous, he wants to have Chanyeol completely, and wants to get rid of Kris so he can be where Kris is now.
Can't Chanyeol see his heart? His heart had fallen from the moment they met. His heart that always screams love for Chanyeol. His heart always pounded every time he faced Chanyeol. The heart that always misses Chanyeol.
Joohyuk thought, all this time, he could succumb to anything other than succumb to his desire to become a public figure. But finding Chanyeol, made everything change. He wanted to have Chanyeol. Chanyeol was the only person he would never let go of.
Chanyeol is the only one Joohyuk loves and wants.
Joohyuk was always behind Chanyeol without even turning around. Hope Chanyeol is willing to stop his steps for a moment or turn to him so that the two can walk together.
Joohyuk wanted to know how Chanyeol would react if he found out that Joohyuk loved him this much. He wanted to know what Chanyeol would do when Chanyeol knew that he was always in pain and wanted to cry every time he saw Chanyeol with Kris wu.
Joohyuk is always in pain,
Because his Love alone.
◕◕
Chanyeol felt Joohyuk's movement even though he was closing his eyes and almost fell asleep.
"Hyuk-ah? You—are you crying?”
Chanyeol rubbed Joohyuk's cheek. The dark night did not make the traces of the tears faint even though only the dim night light lit on the bedside table of the hospital ward.
Joohyuk cried. Even the sound of his sobs was audible. Chanyeol hugged him very tightly. Rubbing his back.
“Stop crying Hyuk-ie”
"I love you"
Joohyuk gripped the jacket Chanyeol was wearing. "I love you so much, hiks.."
“I love you, Park Chanyeol”
Chanyeol closed his eyes. The inner struggle takes place in his head and heart. Thinking about Jisoo's words, Chanyeol really wanted to return the love words.
But his heart was heavy. Restraint him. Refusing to reply to those words because his heart is already owned by someone else, falling for another man.
"I really love you"
Chanyeol let go of his hand. He touched Joohyuk's chin and lifted it slightly. Joohyuk looked at Chanyeol's sad face.
Chu~
Joohyuk's eyes widened in surprise. This is the first time Chanyeol kissed him first, in his entire life, this is the most happy and relieved thing that Joohyuk has ever felt.
Chanyeol kissed him lightly but long. He rubbed Joohyuk's firm jaw and pulled the nape of his neck to look down.
His forehead and Joohyuk's forehead touched each other. Their gazes met.
Joohyuk's heart was beating fast, happy, rumbling with joy because Chanyeol just kissed him.
While Chanyeol's heart was pounding in pain. Fast and painful. He pushed his face forward a little until his lips touched Joohyuk's again.
"Nam Joo Hyuk"
Joohyuk pulled Chanyeol to sit on his lap. Chanyeol looked at Joohyuk then gave a small smile.
“I think I can love you”