Okay guys, here we go with a little flashback! Hope you enjoy!!
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FIA Prizegiving 2018
Walking down the corridor on the floor where most of the FIA council member's offices were located Alain had told himself that he would just take a quick peek into his office to see if everything was as it should be before going downstairs to greet the guests at the FIA prize-giving ceremony. However, a quick peek turned into taking a seat and working through some documents Mika had forwarded him.
Checking his watch, Alain knew he was late, but only a few more steps and he would have reached the elevator to take him downstairs to the entrance hall, where Nelson Piquet, Niki Lauda and both Rosbergs were surely already waiting for the rest of them, but the still turned on light in Joanna's office stopped the Frenchman.
He thought about going over and checking if she had forgotten to turn it off, as the soft 'ding' sound from the elevator pulled him from his thoughts. Other than expected, the elevator wasn't empty even though only members of the council or invited guests had access to this floor. Catching the younger man's eyes, Max's facial expression turned from annoyed to surprise mirroring the Frenchman's.
The Dutchman was wearing a smart-looking suit as well, the bow tie untied and his hair a little bit wild but what stuck out was the dress rake he held with two of his fingers over his shoulder, an evening gown was hanging from the rake, hidden by a thin see-through layer of plastic.
"You know, being this year's champion people would think she actually cares enough to get dressed on time for the prizegiving," Alain told Max, which caused the Dutchman to huff, before stepping out of the elevator.
"Do you know her only since yesterday? I won't believe that she will grace us with her presence until we are both downstairs." Max replied as Alain clasped him on the shoulder a gentle smile on his lips. They both knew that holding the FIA prizegiving ceremony in the HQ was bound to get out of hand. This was their home turf and Alain was sure that at some point some council member surely would sneak away, to cause problems or to simply skip what they think is a boring occasion.
It had been Niki's idea to host the ceremony in the HQ, as some sort of power play, but the vast majority of the council had agreed for different reasons. Alain and Joanna had hoped to get some work in, while Max was positive, he could just vanish sometime during the prize-giving to retreat to his office and hide there, watching tv or doing something else. The others mostly agreed because of similar reasons to Niki's.
"Well, as long as both of you grace us with your presence. I'm sure you'll be forgiven." Alain said, which caused Max to exhale slowly, his finger pinching the root of his nose, knowing damn well that the older man wasn't going to let Max act the way he wanted. So, hiding up here wasn't an option any longer. He had at least to show his face for a little while. This night was also about upholding a certain standard and prestige.
"I'll keep our guests entertained until then, help her get dressed in the meantime, will you?" Alain said as he stepped into the elevator, before turning around and gesturing for Max to go over to Joanna's office.
"Actually, I've more experience with getting pretty women out of dresses than into them, but I will do my best." The Dutchman replied lazily, one had buried in the pocket of his suit pants while the other was still holding the very heavy evening grown.
As soon as the door to the elevator closed Max rolled his eyes, exhaling in annoyance again, before making his way over to Joanna's office. He didn't knock, they never did with each other, so he simply opened the door to the office, before leaning against the door frame, his eyes on Joanna. She was holding a set of papers into the air while reading the one which had originally laid beneath them while writing something down with a pen on another set of papers.
"Not now." She muttered, her eyes flickering from one document to the other, her lips pulled between her teeth, something she liked to do when she was concentrating.
"You know, there is actually this thing called the annual FIA prizegiving ceremony and people expect us to show our faces, but yeah cool. I would rather stay here as well." Max said, causing Joanna to pull her eyebrows together looking up at him for a moment, she had expected Kiwi and not Max, before letting the pen drop and picking up an antique-looking clock.
"Shit." She muttered under her breath, throwing the documents onto her desk, before getting up and hurrying over to the little mirror in the corner of her office. The Austrian was glad that Kiwi had done her makeup before and that her hair was already pinned up. She just had to remove two pins at the front, so some curls were framing her face and another pin, so a little curl was falling into her face from her forehead.
Rolling his eyes after watching Joanna fuss over her hair for a moment, Max threw the heavy dress over the side rest of the sofa on which he had slept quite a few times in the past.
"You know, it's unbelievable how much you appreciate me," Max told her, which caused Joanna to look over her shoulder, in between her fingers was still one of the curls, but her attention was now on Max, who had crossed his arms over his chest.
They had talked about this. Quite a lot actually since the hard season they had. A lot of things took a toll on their relationship last year. From Joanna knowing that Daniel would leave Red Bull before Max knew it, who figured it out the day the news broke, over her having her fingers in the game which resulted in Pierre being his teammate next year to simple miscommunication.
They had decided together that Max needed to stop being so understanding towards Joanna and her behaviour. He wasn't overlooking the disrespect any longer, even though Joanna didn't do it on purpose, and she wasn't so happy about the use of the word disrespect, because in her opinion that wasn't the case. She was a little bit inconsiderate from time to time, but she never disrespected Max or his wishes. Still, Max would point it out and they would talk about it, or the Austrian would admit that he was right about a situation before she would apologise. It had worked so far.
"Please not now. You know that I appreciate you." Joanna answered which caused Max's arms to drop before he walked over to her only to stand right behind her. Her back rested against his chest, while they made eye contact through the mirror.
"I know," Max told her, as he allowed his hands to brush over her sides, before finding the zip of her sweat jacket and pulling it down slowly only to reveal more and more from Joanna's naked chest. Resting her hands over Max's as he had opened her sweat jacket completely, Joanna smiled softly.
"I'm mature enough to admit that I have some toxic traits. But I'm working on showing and making you feel it more." She muttered causing Max to press a soft kiss against the side of her neck before he let go of her only to step over to the dress and remove the thin layer of plastic to hand Joanna the long black evening gown.
"I know. We're working on it together." Max said holding out the dress for Joanna to take, which caused her to smile at him gently, before kicking off her boots and opening her jeans to let them fall down to pool at her ankles.
"Tonight should be interesting, nevertheless. I might have pulled some strings and Rosberg has to give Hamilton his trophy." Max muttered, causing Joanna to swat his arm in surprise and disbelieve not even Max would cause such havoc, at least on a normal day.
"You did not?!" She exclaimed but she saw the mischief sparkle in his eyes and couldn't stop the amused smile to play around her lips.
"I definitely did. Come on, that's extremely funny. Even you have to admit that." Max replied. Joanna made the two steps over to Max, who had crouched down, holding the dress, so the Austrian could easily step inside.
"Have you done something else, I should be aware of?" Holding onto his shoulders, Joanna watched as Max straighten up again while pulling the dress over her hips.
"Maybe. Maybe not. You will see." Letting go of Max's shoulders for a moment, Joanna slipped out of the sleeves of her sweat jacket and into the long sleeves of the black dress.
"You are unreal, Max Verstappen." Gently letting his hands run over Joanna's shoulders Max smiled softly, before gesturing for her to turn around so he could secure the neckless, which was looking like a golden jocker from the front, but a long neckless was falling down her naked back.
"I'm very much real, mein Schatz." Max muttered against Joanna's neck, before pressing a soft kiss there, causing Joanna to tiddle her head to the side to give him more excess. Sucking on her throat, Joanna felt that Max was leaving marks intentional, but she didn't care what people thought about her. She knew from experience how uncomfortable Max felt at such events, especially because they couldn't be close due to not being an official pair but knowing that the marks on Joanna's neck were his and that he's the only one, who is allowed to touch her, even though the whole world seem to watch her all the time, made him feel better.
"I hate this dress," Max muttered under his breath as Joanna bent down to get into her heels and he had the perfect few of the curve of her naked back. He should undress her again and never allow her to leave this office. Even better, he should drive them back to Joanna's apartment and never leave the bedroom there. The world would turn tomorrow even when they took some time for themselves.
"Oh, you love it. You just don't like that you're not the only one seeing me in it." Joanna said with a smirk on her lips as she straightened up and walked back to the desk to get her phone, before stopping right in front of Max. Reaching out, she moved her fingers over the collar of his dress shirt, before taking the two loose ends of the bow tie in between her delicate long fingers and binding them together in a perfect little fly.
"You might be right," Max said. Still watching Joanna's fingers stroking and brushing over his shoulders and dress shirt.
"Might?" Joanna asked challenging, which caused Max to roll her eyes fondly at her before diving forward and capturing her lips in a soft but passionate kiss. They were sharing one kiss after the other with no intention to actually pull away anytime soon, until Max's phone rang, causing him to groan, before trying to get it from his pocket, but he wasn't stopping to do so. He shared more sweet kisses with Joanna until he finally had to look down at the phone.
"Fuck, what now?" Max muttered under his breath. Checking his phone with his right hand while Joanna had leaned against the left side of Max's chest. Enjoying the closeness.
"It's Alain, he's getting nervous. Even threats to send your father up." Max muttered, causing Joanna to rest her forehead against his shoulder.
"Of course, what else." She replied before they shared some more kisses but finally decided to make their way over to the elevator. Joanna was holding Max's hand with both of hers, her head tiddled to the side, while Max sighed.
"It's just one evening." Joanna tried to cheer him up a bit, but Max lifted their joined hands, before letting go of Joanna's. Symbolic for the secret they were hiding. Not being an official pair was hard on them, but it was better that way.
"It's not. But we can't change it." Max answered her.
They were working for the enemy and explained that to the world wasn't something they were ready to face just now. Joanna knew that Max understood that and that he was very aware of the consequences they could face should they make their relationship official but sometimes he just wished he could take his girlfriend's hand when they were somewhere or give her a quick kiss. He was never one for too much public touching but the idea of people knowing that Joanna was his was getting better and better every time he saw someone looking at her or getting too close to his girlfriend.
The moment they stepped out of the elevator, they were separated. Joanna was pulled along to take her place by her father's and godfather's side as one of the most important people of the FIA, so she could officially open the prizegiving with them, while Max was pulled to the table of the FIA council. Most of them were accompanied by their wife or partner, but there was no second seat reserved for Max's plus one. It was an open secret that Max and Joanna were together, so he wasn't asked about a plus one, Joanna neither, of course, but sometimes it bothered him.
"Oh, Max. There you are. You're sitting next to me, isn't that a funny coincidence?" Kelly Piquet, who was her father's plus one for obvious reasons called out as soon as she saw the Dutchman approach.
Giving her a smile, the Brazilian was fast to stand up and pull Max into a hug before kissing both of his cheeks, which surprised Max.
"The funniest." The Dutchman said to her as he sat down next to the Brazilian, sharing a quick glance with her father, who was sitting opposite from her, which told Max enough to know that he had a hand in the seating arrangement.
Kelly was talking to him the whole time and even though he had expected to be annoyed by it, he wasn't. It was nice to get appreciated. The way Kelly looked up at him, Max wasn't used to that. She hung on every word which left his lips. Laughing at his terrible jokes and touching his hand ever so often to give him the feeling that she really enjoyed his company.
The Brazilian was so very different from Joanna even though they had so many similarities. Both were insanely intelligent, had the personality of a leader and they owned a room as soon as they stepped into it. But to him, Joanna felt more sincere, more real even though at this moment, he had the brief thought that he enjoyed Kelly's carefree and maybe even naïve character more. He didn't feel like a little boy when he talked to the beautiful Brazilian. He felt understood.
They were laughing about something as the light suddenly dimmed and the presenters stepped onto the stage. They were talking but Max barely listened, until people started to clap as the names Alain Prost, Niki Lauda and Joanna Lauda got called out.
The three of them stepped onto the stage and Alain started to talk but Max had only eyes for Joanna. She looked radiant. Her soft milky skin looked flawless and gave a tasteful contrast to the black of the dress which seemed to shine in the spotlight.
That's what Joanna was born for. Being flawless, winning, owning the place. Max wasn't like her. He was just a guy who liked to drive around in circles. He wasn't a person of the society, not like Hamilton or even Charles or Daniel. He didn't launch some tasteful fashion collection, just basic merchandise. He also wasn't interested in music the way they were, and he didn't have a grand message for the world to hear. He was just a guy, but he would change that for nothing in this world. This, the guy who loved to drive, that was him and it had always been enough for him, the only thing he now started to doubt was if it was enough for someone like Joanna Lauda.
"She's outstanding. It must be so hard to shine next to her." Kelly muttered, offering Max understanding, something he would never get from Joanna. She didn't even realise what kind of effect she had on people. She just had it, just like her talent as a driver. For Joanna it was normal and when it was about driving Max related to her. He was an outstanding driver as well, but Joanna was an outstanding personality, something Max didn't even what to be.
Max didn't answer, he just turned back to the stage to watch Joanna speak before laughing at something the presenter said, it wasn't even that funny, but the whole room laughed with her, infected with her beautiful smile and the sound of her laugh. This was Joanna's real talent, she had the power to move masses of people with just one look, one laugh.
Max felt sick. How could he ever believe that one day she would only belong to him. People will always say that he didn't deserve her, that he wasn't good enough for Joanna Lauda. That he was dimming her light, her shine. That Joanna had the potential to be so much more.
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Leaning his arm on the backrest of Joanna's chair, Max had opened his bow tie hours ago, his suit jacket was hanging from the back of his chair, and he had pushed the sleeves of his dress shirt up, while he listened to a bunch of old white men arguing over politics.
He had no idea when the afterpart of the FIA prize-giving had turned into whatever this was, but at this point, he didn't even care. All Max did was watching Joanna, who did her best to simply not open her mouth, because she knew none of them would agree with her, which was sad, but the way Joanna starred into her empty glass and the looks she gave, was just the best part of the evening. Max couldn't take his eyes off her.
He had asked the waiter to leave the bottle of whiskey with them and gave Joanna a top-up, who gave him a grateful look, as he leaned over to her letting the bottle hover over her glass while Joanna turned her head so she could whisper into Max's ear.
"You're a hero." She said sincerely, causing Max to turn his head, looking into Joanna's eyes for a moment, while the Austrian let her hand rest on Max's thin.
"Anything which stops you from starting a war. We have to still work with them." He muttered, before leaning back and purring some of the honey-coloured liquid in his glass and after a shared glance with Rosberg also in Nico's glass.
He also had to hold back and not speak up as his father started to talk condescendingly about homosexuals. That his own son was a "fag" as he called them wasn't known to the older Rosberg. After all, Nico had a daughter, so Keke believed him to be "normal" even though he behaved sometimes a little weakly.
Max felt Nico and Joanna tense at the same time as Niki hinted that even some drivers in F1 seemed to be too friendly with each other.
"Why is that your concern, dad? Can't you just accept people the way they are?" Joanna spoke up, after giving Max an apologising look. She just couldn't sit here and listen to people talk like this about her friends.
"I'm just saying it's not the way it was intended to be, Johanna. I know that they're your friends, nevertheless." Niki allowed but all Joanna could do was huff in annoyance. Max had reached out to put his hand on Joanna's thin, not caring who of them saw it.
"Do you want to know how we deal with people like that in Brazil?" Nelson asked Joanna after a moment which caused the Austrian to give him a horrified look. Just the way the Brazilian said it made the younger Lauda uneasy.
"No, I don't want to hear it. I can't imagine how backward a country must be where people have to fear for their lives for the person they love." Joanna said, feeling Nico's glance on her.
"Oh please, do we really have to talk about politics? It's so boring." Kelly spoke up after a moment, not at all worried by what her father had just implied, all she did, was reaching out to rest her hand on Max's arm. The arm which rested on Joanna's thin, causing the Austrian to look up upon feeling the sudden pressure of Max's hand, but it wasn't him, Kelly had pushed his hand downwards before making eye contact with Joanna.
"Politics doesn't interest you. Why? Because you have no interest in changing a world that already suits you." The Austrian challenged the Brazilian, but Kelly didn't answer her. Making Joanna feel as if she got what she wanted.
Thinking about it now, Joanna should have known that they would end up together as soon as she would break it up with Max. It was inevitable. She should have protected Max better.
Her thoughts were pulled from a certain Dutchman as a soft knock on the door sounded out in the silent room. Mark opened the door, only to step in. The Austrian gave him a weak smile. She wasn't really in the mood to talk to him now. Not when all she could think about was her ex. The one she still loved more than anything else.
It was unfair, she knew, it wasn't Mark's fault, but something told her that he understood. The look he was giving her as if he knew exactly what was going on in the little head of hers. She used to hate it when he looked at her as if he had all the wisdom in the world, but now she understood.
"You're awake," Mark muttered, before giving her a sorrowful look.
"I was thinking. I never understood why you wanted me. Know I do. I'm not making you happy, even worse, I caused you so much unhappiness, but you always came back because you truly believe that you don't deserve to be happy." He told her causing Joanna to sit up, regret heavy in her bones.
"Mark." She warned, about to say more, but he didn't let her.
"No, don't... I don't want you to say something to make me feel better. For once all I want from you is the truth. Can you please do that for me? Can you stop lying to me and yourself?" He asked of her, but all Joanna did was pulling her legs up to her chest and resting her arms on her knees. What was she supposed to say?
"Don't think, just speak?" Asked Mark of her as he moved to slot his body right next to hers. His hands resting on her arms in some kind of hug. Joanna felt sick. Max would have pulled her into his lap and pressed kisses against her jaw and behind her ear until she would finally tell him what was on her mind, what was going on. But this was Mark, not Max.
"We were always toxic, but I learned a great deal from you. You toughed me how to control my anger. You showed me how to use it to be a better driver." Joanna admitted after a long moment of silence which caused Mark to give her a painful smile as he let go of her to climb out of bed again.
He had wished she would have said something else. No matter what, all he ever got from Joanna was something racing related. He was never a part of her private life, just a form of stress relief. Not even as she was carrying his child, because she never bothered to tell him until it was too late. Joanna never wanted him in her private life, she only ever came to him to punish herself. Mark knew ever since that they were toxic, but he never knew how bad it really was.
"You've never understood where to draw the line between sacrifice and self-slaughter," Mark told Joanna, who had started to cry, but Mark couldn't say when. He hadn't paid enough attention to her as usual.
Moving to the bed again, Mark leaned over to wipe the freshly fallen tears away. "I will wait downstairs for you. We really should get going if we want you to be in Monaco on time."
With that, Mark left the bedroom and closed the door behind him, leaving Joanna on her own. Something Max would have never done, but Joanna needed to stop comparing everyone with Max. The Dutchman won't come back, no matter how dearly she wished for it.
Joanna was always a tick too angry at herself, at the world, at life. Max deserved better than that. There was enough anger already in his life.