It was stupid of me to bring something up that clearly has no place with us right now, we don't need to be thinking about this, we still have three months until this really needs to become a problem and I can't find myself allowing myself to care because I know that it could either be something to prove to us that we are mature enough or it could start to feel like a time bomb.
I haven't seen Stephanie in what feels like forever and with only a few exchanged texts, I know I'm going to have to visit her and tell her about everything; about Miles going baby shopping with me and offering to do so himself.
As we walk into the kitchen, Miles carrying all of the heavy stuff. He places the groceries on the island and everything else in the large living room.
"We'll need to switch our couches and maybe--"
"Add a rug?" I finish and he nods at me.
"Great . . . there are a lot of things to get done," he says and I nod. There are way too many.
I head into the kitchen while Miles finishes carrying everything from the car inside the house on the old couch which only reminds me of the parties Miles used to host and the way I once sat there with a drink in my hand and two boys chatting to me. Shivers go through me and I realize that we need a completely different atmosphere for our life together and the baby.
I unpack all of the groceries, wipe the fridge out, throw out everything that has gotten old and replace it with everything new we bought, cheese, bell peppers, a few soda cans, water, fruits, vegetables, bread, ketchup, pasta. everything feels so normal when we do everyday things like this but I know that what we've been through is something that has also made our life more exciting, I can't imagine all of this being rewarding without the thunder, rain, and storm we had to travel, through.
Miles heads up the stairs surprisingly quickly and locks himself in a room, my heart begins to pound and the butterflies swim around me. I'm not sure what's happening but I step on the first step and then allow myself to climb all the way up, tracing to where he left, and before I know it he opened up a door himself, the room he kept as a storage space, everything is pushed away, some items thrown into brown paper boxes and shoved away from the window.
"Come here," he says with a smile on his face.
He reaches for my hand and pulls me by the window making me smile.
"Lift your shirt up," he says and I smile at him, knowing what he's doing. And with the camera on his phone, he snaps a photo just as I do so.
The smile on my face stretches and I feel just how loved I am by him and just how perfect our little family is hoping to be even if just in our eyes.
"Can I see?" I ask him, running toward him but he presses the phone away.
"Not for right now," he smiles and I know that he's going to show me when he has collected all of the photos of the pregnancy.
SOMEHOW UNPACKING EVERYTHING from the extra room Miles has that he used to store trash and old clothing he has never worn, is now finally empty and cleaned.
"I canceled Valentina," he says and I find myself smiling, realizing that Miles's old life has been left behind and only we are left.
I give him the blue and white paint and somehow hope we'll attempt my vision the way I see it. I know that this room will take at least a month to finish and that the rest of the house will be improved with all of the new things we've bought but before we know it, I'll be almost three months pregnant and everything will still feel perfect.
Miles's POV
I don't know how long I've been at this but it feels like forever. Recreating something I have no idea what truly looks like is harder than it seems. But this being the only bright room in the house makes it feel much more special and I need to make it look right.
The stuff that's supposed to be in here clutters the upstairs hallway and I can't help but wonder what it will all look like inside here, this room is big enough to fit two babies but one is enough for now, but with our luck, everything seems to change in a completely different direction than we expect and I've finally realized that I don't care about that. Whatever happens with me and Madison is perfect and I'll love our situation no matter what we're in. I know that now.
I don't know where Madison went but when I go downstairs to clean off the paint mixer, I notice her fallen asleep on the old couch with a white blanket that she insisted we buy. I give her a quick smile before I shoot back up to finish the room, in hopes that it will look perfect by the time she wakes up.
I paint everything light blue and wait for it to dry, closing the paint up and sitting down on the floor, opening up the new baby furniture and some other stuff that has an Ikea logo on it. I find my tattooed arms covered in blue paint and as I sit here opening up the Ikea furniture and reading whatever blog book they've put in with it, I find myself chuckling and then laughing.
"What's funny?" I hear Madison's voice as she steps on the tallest step, right next to me. She's wearing shorts that I didn't notice before and one of my tops, she probably got too tired and wanted to be comfortable right before she fell asleep. The smile on her face is heartwarming and the way she bites her lip to hide the smile from me is the sexiest thing I've seen all day.
"Come here," I tell her, grabbing her by the ass, or whatever skin I can reach from under her shorts and as I pull her to me, she falls down on a blanket beside me and starts to giggle.
"Yeah, I thought so too," I chuckle with her as she goes into a full-blown laugh at the characters Ikea draws on their brochure.
"They're helping each other," she points out with her thing finger and short cut nail.
"Do you remember when I told you I'd never build Ikea furniture?" I laugh again, the thought seems ridiculous now, of course, I'm building Ikea furniture, our luck is all over the place.
Madison stops for a few seconds and then we both burst into laughter.
"It's because you love me," she says with a smile the look in her eyes such a tight grip on me.
"Yes, it is," I say and lean into her, our lips touching and it feels as though I'm drunk on the taste of her, something I don't ever want to stop.
Madison's POV
I don't know how long this has taken us but it feels as though it must be more than five am, and yet somehow neither of us are tired, after letting the paint dry, Miles has managed to somehow make perfect shapes onto the walls if it were tapestry and with a small ladder, he's managing more than I expected.
"You never told me you could draw or paint so well," I tell him as I watch the magic he's managing to make.
"I never knew," he smiles back at me while in the same room with an open window to air out the paint smell, I manage to put together the crib, the pillow, and sheets that follow, making the bed completely ready, thanks to Miles who put it together except for the easy things.
"Done," he says and I feel as though an hour has passed from me organizing the items, opening them, and throwing away the paper and plastic trash.
"It looks . . . beautiful . . . this is perfect." my words come out hollow as if in a whisper and somehow shocked. I never thought we would be able to make this room so beautiful but it is, it's everything I ever wanted. The walls are light blue with white shapes in them, something you would see in a castle.
Miles walks up to stand behind me and as I watch the beautiful walls, he gives me a hug from behind, his lips in my neck. We can be better than I ever thought we could and everything between him and me is making me realize just how thankful I am that we never gave up on each other.