A image can cover so much pain (oasis/Liam Gallagher)

A bad day

About a week later things had seemed to calm down with Noel they had played a couple of amazing gigs and there had not been any big fights so things seemed to be ticking along nicely in camp Oasis.
Unfortunately today Liam had woken up in a awful place mentally, he'd opened his eyes and before he'd even sat up he felt like everything was wrong.
He was alone in his flat, it was a mess clothes, empty cans, cigarettes, overflowing ashtrays, chairs upturned, broken plates, his tambourines were hanging off a lamp, he spotted one of his shirts appeared to have a rip in it with what looked like little blood drops on it he couldn't remember getting into a fight but maybe he had there was just so much stuff all over the place. the mess was like an extension of his mind. Walking to his draws he realised he was out of his meds he was terrible at remembering to get his prescription, it was one thing Noel couldn't control or remind him about because Noel didn't know he was on it and it was a new thing so not something Liam was used too, and sometimes he wondered if the fact he was drinking so much, smoking too much dope, taking coke whenever it was around was affecting how well the meds worked but he had to keep up appearances, had to be what people expected but it was killing him, he was so tired. Today he just felt like he didn't want to exist, he looked over at the window thankfully his flat was on the ground floor. It's times like this he wished he could talk to Noel about things, he'd picked up the phone and started to dial so many times but never finished, how would he start the conversation he didn't know, he couldn't really just say "hey Noel, I want to kill myself" and really Noel was known to be the one who had more 'feelings' Liam was supposed to be more carefree. He often imagined the conversation, just being able to tell his big brother what was going on but their relationship was so complicated, Noel just looked at Liam like the annoying little brother, the wild cannon, the don't give a fuck person and Noel had to make sure Liam behaved, that he didn't mess things up, that he didn't make trouble for the band. Yes Noel would ask how Liam was doing, if he'd been ok on their days off that usually was to check he hadn't got into trouble but as far as 'feelings' was concerned that was a line he never crossed and wouldn't know how to react if Liam did try to talk about things, and would Noel even understand Liam knew Noel kinda understood depression but in the general sense not in the constant up and down moods, the not really understanding why one minute your hyper, on top of the world, doing crazy shit and having fun then the next your exhausted, suicidal, not wanting to do anything, hating everything. How sometimes you want to be around people, talking to everyone, enjoying being social then you don't want to see anyone, don't wanna talk to anyone, just wanna be alone. How would he explain how he felt when he cut his arms, why he did it and just generally how do you explain self harm especially if you don't understand it yourself. So instead everything was just running around in Liam's head with no way of getting out
So what to do today the band had no plans so Liam had no plans so that ment he had the day to himself which when he was feeling like this was not a good thing. Maybe a shower would snap him out of things, he found a towel he wasn't sure if it was clean or not and it was black so that didn't help but it didn't smell bad so it would do, walking into his bathroom he noticed the mess in there too "Jesus Christ what the fuck have I done to this place" leaning over the sink he started to get really angry, angry with Noel, angry with himself, just angry at everyone and everything before he knew it he had punched the mirror.
He looked at his fist, the blood coming out of his knuckles and thought what the hell picked up a bit of the broken mirror and took it too his arm.
Next thing he knew he heard banging, looking around he was lying on the floor adjusting his eyes he looked at the clock, hours had past then again the banging sitting up he looked around there was blood and a lot of it, suddenly he became aware of the pain. Again bang bang, he realised it was his door. Getting up he walked to it and shouted "who the fuck is it" "Dave, I've been trying to call you but your not picking up just wanted to know your ok" Dave was a minder of sorts, he helped keep an eye on the band, Liam trusted him, he was always straight with him and often sided with Liam when him and Noel argued, Liam also had a suspicion he knew something was up since he'd been checking up on him a lot lately "come on Liam let me in" "now's not a good time I'm busy, I'll call you tomorrow" Liam knew he couldn't let him in with the flat a mess and blood everywhere. "Come on Liam what the fuck you up too, it's ya day off I don't think drinking and watching shit tv counts as being busy" Liam looked around, panic began to set in Dave obv had no intention of going away. How the hell was he supposed to make the flat look more normal, no way he could clean all the blood up in a matter of minutes, he could throw something over the mirror but that wouldn't make that much difference quickly thinking he took the rest of the mirror down, put it on the floor dropped some shoes and stuff near it hopefully he could say he fell and smashed the mirror cos he was drunk. He crossed his fingers and opened the door.