Chapter forty: Confessions and accusations
K A I S O N
I was almost to the bar when my phone rang in my pocket. I frowned as I fished the damned thing out. My frown deepened at the sight of the caller ID.
Chelsea.
Had the girl not been as helpless and so desperately in need of help as she was, I swear I would've never let her get away with as much as she had over the years. I had called her out on how she would treat Livvy because that's the one line no fucking person was allowed to cross, but that's about all I had done. She got on my very last nerve.
I took a deep calming breath and picked up the call.
"Yes, Chelsea," I answered wryly. I was yet to recover from my oh-so-pleasant encounter with Martinez.
"Kaaaiiisssoooon," she slurred in reply. I could barely hear her over the background noise.
"Are you out drinking again?" I asked incredulously.
My patience was running thin. That habit of hers was becoming a regular and I was not a huge fan. I had a life of my own. She wasn't even close to me. At that point, I was just a shoulder to cry on when her relationship would take a hit or a designated driver when she would decide to drink her feelings. This reckless drinking wasn't wise but she never listened. And the human in me never let her learn her lesson by leaving her to her devices either.
This is what having a history with someone does to you.
"Yes," she moaned out.
"For the love of God," I grumbled, reaching the bar and gesturing to the bartender to make me a neat whiskey.
"I broke up with him!" She muttered incoherently. I could hear the music pumping in the background. "I need another Vodka!" She screamed.
I rubbed my temple in frustration.
"Are you alone?" I asked.
"I ran away," she declared flippantly.
"Bloody awesome." I cursed. I eyed the drink that the bartender placed in front of me with remorse. "Where are you?"
"Sunset Valley," she spoke, slurring to a point where I had to strain my ears to make them out.
"Sunset Valley?" I confirmed.
"Yeah, silly!" She giggled. "You're coming aren't you? Did I ever tell you I love you? Because I do!"
I shook my head, standing up and disconnecting the call. I started my walk back to our table. When I ran into Garry, I decided to save time and told him to relay my message to Milo. He would know what to do. Then, to make sure Livvy didn't feel left out or irritated, I decided to call her, too. When I couldn't connect to her on call for some reason, I shot her a quick text telling her it was an emergency.
I would explain everything to her personally later.
The valet made a quick job of getting me my car and I quickly set the GPS to Sunset Valley. I knew which one exactly.
A few minutes later, I reached the place. I put on my sunglasses and retrieved my beret from the glove compartment before quickly making my way in. The place was packed and I got in without anyone recognizing me. Probably because they were too drunk to, but I liked to think that it was my disguise.
I scanned the crowd as I went, avoiding jerks to my shoulder. I scowled when I spent a whole ten minutes without spotting her. I had already tried her cell multiple times in hopes she would pick up and make my job easier, but no. She wouldn't.
When I was about to ring her again, I noticed some commotion towards the booths. I thought about ignoring it, but knowing Chelsea, she probably created that drama. I let out a deep calming breath as I proceeded to investigate.
Five minutes later, I was hauling out a screaming girl on my shoulders. Literally. Hauling. Her.
How long will you keep punishing me? I directed at the universe. Haven't I suffered enough for my mistake?
People looked, but dismissed it quickly. The attention span of an inebriated brain is practically zero. Chelsea kept screaming incoherently and I kept ignoring her blatantly. Odds were that she wouldn't even remember this episode the next day. Why waste my energy?
I set her down on her feet when we reached the doors and supported her out. We were almost to my car when she jumped at me out of the blue, taking me by surprise as she planted her mouth on mine.
I froze for a second as it sunk in before I pushed her back firmly.
"What was that?" I demanded, sounding much calmer than I felt.
Annoyance crept up in my veins and I reminded myself that she was drunk and not in control of her actions to avoid bursting out on her. Her touch burned, and not in a good way.
"I love you!" She clamored. "But you don't love me. Just like he doesn't."
I pinched the bridge of my nose. She didn't mean that. She couldn't mean that. She had consistently been in love with a toxic man for years by then. Also, I had made it clear multiple times that I did not feel anything for her. The hookups at the beginning of freshman year had been few and only to get our minds off the people we actually loved. To numb the pain we felt in their absence.
Nothing less, nothing more.
I slowly reconstructed my falling patience and took another deep breath as I turned a deaf ear to her other ramblings.
I dumped her in the passenger seat unceremoniously and strapped her in. She kept talking and I kept being deaf. I needed my brains to function so that they could assist in driving. I had someone I needed to get back to as soon as I could and an accident would put a big dent in that plan.
I drove to my place. I knew the bag of flesh next to me was going to throw a fit if I talked to her. I planned to do what I usually did when she would call me when drunk: dump her in my guest room. She usually went away on her own in the morning. I could come back from practice the next day and the house would be mine again. This time, I decided I would just crash at Livvy's and let Chelsea fend for herself. My apartment door didn't require a key to be locked.
When I arrived, I made a quick job of getting her out of the car and locking the doors before calling for the elevator. Though my intent was only to support her, she was clinging to me as if for dear life. I tried not to let pity take hold of me again.
I have done my duty, I reminded myself. I don't owe her anything else.
Up in my apartment, I switched on the lights as I went. The guest room hadn't been used in a while so it wasn't the cleanest, but it was more than liveable. I guided her towards the bed and sat her down.
"I'm leaving," I spoke to her. "You should sleep. There's food in the fridge. Heat it up in the microwave if you feel hungry."
She nodded weakly, looking exhausted. She had stopped speaking a while ago. She slowly climbed under the covers and curled up in a ball. I watched her warily for a minute to make sure she would be fine. All my instincts told me to go away at that point but I couldn't move.
And just like that, she burst into tears.
The lover in me groaned, but the human in me thawed.
I sighed as I walked into the kitchen to retrieve some water and made my way back to her. She was still crying. I placed the water on the bedside table and then helped her sit upright and offered her the water.
Then I waited for her to speak.
"We broke up!" She bawled.
Only for the millionth time.
I patted her back, trying to be more sympathetic. The girl was going through a breakup -- again -- and the least I could do was act like I cared when I honestly couldn't find it in me to.
How could I bring myself to pity someone who constantly tried to jeopardize my relationship with Livvy? Tried to harm her? I had received some very disturbing news from Angeline that morning.
"It'll be okay," I said as gently as I could, trying not to sound empty. I didn't even know why she was still dating that douchebag. She wasn't a walk in the park, but that guy was straight-up a devil spawn.
"No," she cried. "It won't!"
I sighed. "Chelsea . . . "
"I broke up with him for good, Kaison!"
I blinked in shock. Okay, did not expect that.
"For good?" I asked skeptically. "Or for a week?"
"No," she shook her head vehemently, "This is the last time. I left him!"
"I know you feel heartbroken, but that's actually good," I told her. "He wasn't good for you."
"But you are," she whispered. "I love you Kaison."
That escalated quickly.
"You don't know what you're saying," I dismissed, scooting away from her. "You should sleep it off."
"I know what I'm saying!" She yelled. "I know how I feel! I love you and I have loved you for months! You are just too blind to see it!"
"What the fuck are you talking about?" I asked incredulously, jumping to my feet to create distance between us. "Where is this coming from?"
"I don't know!" She admitted miserably. "All I know is that I've loved for over a year now but you--" her gaze became harsh and accusing "--you can't see anyone but you precious 'Livvy'! Can't you see I'm the one who cares about you? I love you but you just can't get over your infatuation with that idiot-"
"Not another word about Livvy," I warned. "You might not be in your senses, but that is no excuse to talk trash about my girlfriend."
"What girlfriend?" She laughed sadistically, the tears still pouring down her cheeks relentlessly. "She doesn't even care about you! And love? Really? Is it that fragile? She left you and never even asked you for an explanation!"
That stung.
"I would never do that to you, Kaison." She edged closer to me. "Unlike her, I actually care about you. I would ne-"
"No." I pushed her hands off me firmly. "Chelsea, don't."
"She doesn't care about you!" She yelled.
"She does," I returned just as fiercely.
"Then why did she leave you, Kaison?" She taunted. "If she loved you so, so much-"
"Because I cheated on her," I said firmly. "With you, remember?"
"You were drunk and talked into that, remember?" She mocked.
"She doesn't know that," I defended.
"See?" She cried. "She never even cared to know the truth!"
"Actually, she asked but I never told her," I retorted.
"Right," she muttered. "Forgot. You might be the nicest guy ever, but your thoughts and actions are as fucked up as your ideals, if not more."
I scowled at her, my patience walking a tightrope. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"
"Do you even love her, or is it truly just what I think? An infatuation?" She questioned passionately, ignoring what I had just said. "Or are you just clinging to the idea of what you think you both could be and are trying to make it happen for real?"
"I love her," I gritted out. "Don't ever question it again."
She scoffed. "Who the fuck gives up being with the love of their life instead of coming clean to them?"
I deflated at that. "I didn't deserve her."
"Oh," her eyebrows went up mockingly, "And now you do?"
"Doesn't matter," I enunciated.
"And it did back then?" She wiped the tears off her face. "Do you hear yourself, Kaison?"
I didn't reply.
"What is the real reason?"
"Don't forget you're here as a guest," I cautioned her. "I suggest you stop before you overstep your boundaries."
"I don't care about boundaries anymore," she spat. "I want answers. You owe me that much."
My face hardened. "I don't owe you any answers, Chelsea."
"Yes, you do," she hissed. "You owe me for toying around with me. You used me to try to get over your now-girlfriend."
That works for her every time, but it's time this fucking stopped.
I took in a deep breath as I denied that claim for the first time in years, "I don't owe you anything anymore."
"Yes, yo-"
"It was a mutual hook-up," I stated, cutting her off. "I told you everything about my situation, just like you told me about yours. You were on a break with Heather and you never objected to it. You were never forced. You came back for more. I was the one who put a stop to it.
"It's been over five years, Chelsea, and I've carried the guilt of letting it happen every day since then. That's the only reason I still help you through every breakup and don't straight up humiliate you when you make public statements about our relationship by making one of my own. All because I felt like I owed you. You've taken full advantage of that.
"But enough is enough. I refuse to think I owe you anything anymore. I've been nice to you but you keep upsetting things in my life. You keep crossing boundaries and going out of the way to hurt Olivia. Why? What did she ever do to you?"
"She let you go," she snapped.
"So?" I questioned. "That's between her and me. Where do you fit into that equation?"
"I have loved Heather since high school, and he has never treated me right," she articulated. "It's a game of cat and mouse. He loves this. He hurts me and then convinces me it's my fault. He breaks up and then he wants me back. I know every time that he doesn't mean well, but every fucking time I let him back in. You know why? Because I love him. He is literally killing me, but I keep going back to him because I love him.
"And then there is Olivia. She had it so easy! Why? Because you fell in love with her. A true gentleman. You took care of her, treasured her, and respected her. And she just threw that all away for what? A kiss? A kiss that meant nothing? A kiss meant to make her jealous? To win her back? That's it" She scoffed. "She doesn't deserve you."
Olivia did not have it easy.
I refocused.
"So you don't love me," I deduced gratefully.
"I do," she hissed. "I love you both."
Umm.
"But the point," she continued, "Is that Olivia can't be trusted to stick around."
"Whatever the situation might've been," I said, referring to the night it all went south, "It was technically cheating, Chelsea. Any self-respecting woman would break up after that."
"Are you saying I'm not self-respectful?" She barked.
Cue a facepalm.
"I never said that," I denied. Even though I believe that's half true. "Look, it's fine. She didn't trust me. If she couldn't trust me, how could she be happy with me?"
"She can never be happy with you," she spat. "Those who have everything keep asking for more. It's greed. Greed to have better, the best. To have it perfect. She sees you are perfect now, so she comes back to you. I'm telling you, one slip, and she will kick you out again. Mark my words, Kaison. I know girls like her."
Incorrigible. The water was going over my head.
"Why am I even still talking to you, I don't know." I shook my head. "Good night, Chelsea."
"Wait-"
I closed the door behind me. She didn't follow.
I glanced at the clock and cursed when I saw how late it was. I had planned to go back to Livvy but it was too late now. I was talking to Chelsea longer than I had imagined. Milo must've already dropped her home. I thought about calling her, but I guessed she was tired and would be asleep. She had had a tough day.
I decided not to disturb her and retired to my room, locking it for good measure to keep Chelsea out. I showered and then sat down on the bed, scrolling through my phone to make me sleepy. My eyes lingered at the photo in which Livvy was kissing my cheek. She looked so happy. Her cheeks were flushed with color and her eyes literally had stars in them. She looked beautiful.
I curbed the longing to hold her in my arms, forcing my hands to keep the phone away before I could dial her and disturb her slumber. I lay down, still wide awake. I switched off the lights and stared at the ceiling in the dark. Chelsea's words were getting to me and I tried to block her voice out by replaying happy memories of Livvy and I.
It had been a few hours, but I already missed her and wanted to hug her. I wanted to tell her what Angeline had told me this morning and I wanted to tell her about Chelsea. She trusted me now, right? She would understand.
Though helpless in the moment, I decided the first thing I would do the next morning would be to go see her.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
A/N: Things are starting to come to light. Comment your thoughts and theories if you have any!
Don't forget to vote! It means a lot to me :)
QOTD: Favorite song atm?
All my love,
xoxo.
P.S.: Guys I might not update for three-four days in a row cause I'm due to take the second dose of my vaccine tomorrow morning. I hope you guys don't mind🙈 I'm so sorry! I love you guys❤