"You realize that our mistrust of the future makes it hard to give up the past." ― Chuck Palahniuk
Jaipur, India
Vihaan was in mental distress. The kind of pain where he couldn't even scream at her, say something to her. He had noticed her shaky hands. He had noticed her being restless as if she was on the edge of having an anxiety attack.
Vihaan hated lies with a burning passion because once upon a time, a lie had destroyed him, made him what he was today.
He felt angry at her for not telling her the truth but it hurt him more when she said that she had a difficulty in trusting him.
His poor heart broke into millions of pieces as the words came out of her, shocking him to the core.
He had always noticed her distracted expressions when she had been into deep thought, presumably before or after she had lied to him. It wasn't difficult to notice her fidgety expressions and her being in an uncomfortable position whenever something like that happened. The first time he had noticed that was when she first spoke about the meaning behind the riddle. He observed how edgy she sounded as if there was nothing wrong. He had seen through her.
But unfortunately, not this time.
Akanksha was very good at saying lies. But there was something in her expressions that made him feel that she was thinking something more than she should have, she wasn't good at masking up her face.
That night when she had spoken to him about Ruhi, he had realised that Akanksha was indeed very sensitive regarding her friend and was not usually comfortable talking about her. He sensed that she was still over her best friend's death.
And the vulnerability he saw in her eyes today clearly said that.
He didn't know who Ruhi was other than the fact that she was the first victim to the barbaric serial killer.
What he did know was that for Akanksha, her friends meant the world to her, even more than her family.
Looking at her, all anxious and broken made him uncomfortable. He couldn't bring his heart to get angry at her, to demand an answer why she didn't trust him enough.
He loved her and that's what made it all difficult for him.
Sitting in a room with her made him feel suffocated. So he did what was right at that moment.
Leave the room.
He quickly got up and turned on his heels and left the room in a jiffy. He wanted some space from her.
As he came out of the room, a familiar man had been sitting just outside the room.
"You didn't go?" Vihaan asked Aditya who sat there, still working on his laptop.
"I thought you would get angry and leave her alone," he shrugged, typing something in his laptop making Vihaan annoyed.
Vihaan let out a sarcastic chuckle. "So you knew, huh?"
"We don't usually hide anything," he acted nonchalant, his attention still not shifting away from his laptop.
"So you supported her when she lied to me?" He questioned him, incredulously, the mock in his tone was clearly evident.
Aditya tsked, seemingly unimpressed by his accusation. "We have been best friends since our diaper days and we're with each other through thick and thin. But this doesn't mean that we support each other in the wrong. Well, Akanksha was already feeling guilty for not telling you."
"Yeah,'' Vihaan said, thinking after a while. "She told me that she didn't trust me enough to tell me the truth," the bitterness in his tone was still so evident.
"So why should she trust you?" Aditya asked him.
Because we have grown close over time, he wanted to say. "We're friends," he replied to him.
"But being friends doesn't mean trust has been built immediately. Trust is something different. It takes a lot of time, effort and energy to build that trust in another person, to let them know that you're with them." Aditya explained, making Vihaan squirm by his explanation.
"So she doesn't trust me?" Vihaan snorted and tried to ridicule him.
Aditya closed his laptop and placed it back inside his bag. Getting up from the chair, he stood in front of him, matching up to his level.
"You have your eighth marriage anniversary coming up this June," he stated. "But your relationship has been built in these two months. Akanksha has seen her closest people betraying her, it's not easy to trust someone that easily after not knowing each other for years," his words referred to Vihaan. Vihaan felt as if someone had punched his gut.
"I am just telling the truth, Vihaan," Aditya added, looking at his fallen face. "I am not telling you to accept her lies and all that, but as a friend, I can let you know where she is coming from. Have you ever shared something very personal from your life with her?"
Vihaan did not say anything. His silence confirmed Aditya's suspicion.
He hadn't shared the huge secret of his life with her. "But I didn't lie to her. I told her that whenever I will be comfortable I would tell her,"
"Why didn't you tell her when she asked you about it then?"
"Because I was scared that she would judge me!" he shouted, frustrated by his questions. A triumphant smile spread across Aditya's lips. Judging by his expressions, Vihaan was well aware that he was caught in his own words and that he proved what Aditya was trying to say.
"Bingo!" Aditya patted his shoulder. "You told her you would tell her later which proves that you didn't trust her enough. She did the same but her way of telling was wrong. She resorted to lying to you since she thought it was an easy way out. I don't think she would have lied if she even had an inkling that Ruhi would be related to the case you're working on. You love her," Vihaan looked at him in surprise but didn't say anything. "That's the reason why it is so upsetting for you. Somewhere, you both aren't out from your first impressions— you guys have just started to know each other. Build your trust within each other, love can wait. Talk to her, make her believe that you trust her. Develop so much trust within her that she would keep you above us, approach you first when she's in trouble."
This made Vihaan believe that he hadn't taken a lot of effort to help her. Aditya's words made him look at this situation in a new light. Sure, he was changing but not enough to make her trust him. What happened in his past was bad, really bad but it wasn't something that could be compared with Akanksha. As Aditya said, love can wait as he had a bigger challenge to complete— building trust. Making her believe that he would be with her no matter what.
"I am going in," Vihaan told him.
"Ah!" Aditya closed his eyes in relief. "Finally. I thought I was going to sit here all night," A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips looking at Aditya being dramatic.
"You have a way with your words," Vihaan complimented him. "You're a good friend, Adi."
Aditya didn't say anything. He just smiled and patted his shoulder. Picking up his things, Aditya finally made his way out of the hospital leaving Vihaan behind.
Vihaan watched him go and a fond realisation settled within him.
Akanksha's friends were his friends as well.
Vihaan stood in front of the door to her room as he contemplated how he should approach her and talk to her. Slowly twisting the knob he pushed the door open and peeked inside. Akanksha was fast asleep, lying uncomfortably on her bed, the plate still laying on the pullover table, above her bed.
He cleared the things on her bed and then made her sleep comfortably. He chucked the half-eaten bowl of pasta inside the dustbin and felt sad that she slept empty stomach. He adjusted the comforter over her and took a seat on the chair near her bed.
As Vihaan saw her up close, he could see the dry tears on her cheek. His hand reached out to caress her cheeks which now felt heavy, due to a lot of crying. It stayed there for a while and watched her sleep.
There was discomfort on her face, as her eyebrows were squinted while she slept. Vihaan's eyes travelled to the bandage wrapped around her head and immediately cursed himself for putting her under so much pressure while she was injured.
She wasn't supposed to take any stress.
But she did, his subconscious self told him. Now he understood why she suddenly asked for the names while being in the hospital and why she was being so jumpy and fidgety when they got her breakfast.
He had a lot of questions in his mind. Fishing out his phone from his pocket, he quickly texted Aditya.
Get everyone here tomorrow by 8.
Looking at Akanksha's tired self, he slowly leaned over and placed a soft kiss on her forehead.
Vihaan and Akanksha loved each other. But their feelings were still unknown to each other. Their relationship was about to complete eight years but it was only two months and some days since they had known each other. If there was any truth in their relationship, it was that they loved each other, that they gave each other a second chance. Even if they were unaware of each other's feelings, they were still aware of the fact they needed each other, No matter what.
"I am going to fight for us, Akanksha. I am going to take away all the insecurities you have with our relationship, with me." He vowed to himself, his eyes shining with determination.
* * *
It was around half-past seven when Akanksha woke up. She pressed the button on the side of her bed and it lifted up. Her eyes immediately found Vihaan lying on the couch, his head placed awkwardly on the armrest.
He didn't leave, was the first thought that came to her mind. Judging the way he had reacted last night, she was sure that he must have left the hospital and that he had no intentions of returning back. All the crying and the stress she was going through made her eyes heavy and she slept, not noticing his return back to the room.
She wondered what made him return back to her. She thought it was all over and they were back to square one. But it seemed like it wasn't the case. An annoyingly loud alarm blared from Vihaan's phone that managed to startle Akanksha and got the former up from his long sleep.
Akanksha watched Vihaan stir and lazily pulled his phone from some corner of the couch, shutting it off and going back to sleep. A small smile tugged at the corner of her lips as she watched him cover his eyes with an arm and sleep. A few minutes later the alarm went off again and that managed to get Vihaan up. Rubbing his eyes groggily, he sat and groaned at his phone as it was still blaring by the annoying alarm tone.
"I will throw this phone away," he mumbled to himself. Akanksha stifled a laugh and looked away, trying to enjoy the morning light that seeped through the room, warming the cold room. He begrudgingly sat up and his eyes automatically went to Akanksha.
"You're awake," he said, "And you managed to lift up your bed." He added further.
Akanksha didn't say anything. The normalcy in his tone did not sit well with her. She tried to search up his face to find something, some combination of anger and despair, but surprisingly, there were none.
Vihaan got up and moved over to the table where Akanksha's daily necessities were kept. He fished out a toothbrush and a toothpaste and walked towards her.
"Here," he gave her the toothbrush and put some toothpaste on it, "brush your teeth. I will get a bowl with water so you can wash your face," Vihaan left her and went back to fetch a bowl from her bag. He gently filled it with water from the sink in the bathroom. He took his usual seat near her bed as he watched her brush her teeth, holding onto the bowl.
Once she was done brushing, Vihaan made her spit in a polythene bag and dumped it in the dustbin. He helped her wash her face as her hands were still sore.
"Thanks," Akanksha mumbled. She waited for Vihaan to say something to her but the latter did not utter anything. She suddenly felt anxious, her palms clammed in sweat. What was he even thinking? Vihaan's silence was somewhat breaking her.
She was prepared for the worst when she had decided to tell him.
But she wasn't ready to face it. She could never be.
Then out of a sudden, the door opened and Aditya, Chirag and Pranav came bustling in, looking high in spirits. Akanksha even widened his eyes when she watched Aditya thump Vihaan's back, a little too hard and the latter did not say a word. Why were they here? Each one of them engulfed her in a hug, one by one. Pranav was the last one to hug, which lasted for a while. He left her but not before squeezing her shoulder and giving her a reassuring smile.
Now they were all seated, around Akanksha and waited for Vihaan to speak. Akanksha sat there clueless about what was happening.
"W-What's happening?" she raised the question, seemingly puzzled by the situation.
"We are going to narrate what all happened the night Ruhi died," Chirag answered her. Akanksha went completely quiet as she heard him. She blinked her eyes, not once, not twice but multiple times as she couldn't believe what was happening. Her eyes locked with Pranav's who gave her a discreet nod. Everyone was ready to talk about it. Finally.
She gaped at Vihaan. At that very moment, their eyes met and he gave her a warm smile, the smile that meant everything was okay. They were okay. All the emotions were bubbling up inside of her as her mind registered one thing.
Vihaan still believed in her.
He wanted to hear their story.
"Okay," she gave her signal and everyone heaved a sigh.
"Give me an overview of that day," Vihaan started speaking. "Tell me what all went up that day before you guys landed yourselves in that woods. Remember, every detail counts,"
The four of them went in deep thoughts as they tried to recall what all they had done that day.
"Like every year, Maa and Papa were away for their anniversary," Akanksha spoke first. "I was staying at Adi's place," she looked at Aditya for confirmation and he briefly nodded, meaning that it was true.
"Yes, her parents were in Paris for their wedding anniversary," Aditya confirmed. "Anika Di was staying over at some friend's place which I definitely now know was Reyansh Jiju. We were all supposed to meet over Akanksha's place at night to bring in the new year. We were all at our respective places that morning since we were partying that night."
"I was not at home. I was on a brunch date with Ruhi," Pranav filled in. Akanksha sucked in a sharp breath. She didn't want to imagine what pain he must be going through now. It was the last time they spent together alone. Maybe even the last time they held each other close, promising each other for a having a year full of happiness and love. But that promise was broken on that very night.
"Wait," Vihaan paused, "why Akanksha's house? There was no one at home right?" He raised the question.
The four of them turned red at his question. Aditya coughed, and Chirag hit him hard, making him stop. "We were drinking that night," Chirag cleared Vihaan's doubts, "except for Akanksha since she wasn't feeling it that night."
"It was like any other party," Akanksha spoke. "Food, alcohol, games with our traditional hoodies and jeans. I had switched off all the CCTV cameras of the house so that we don't get caught. I think it was about nine when they started drinking. They all got drunk before midnight and I was already fast asleep when they passed out." she informed. "I got up around two in the morning since I felt thirsty. I looked around to see everyone sprawled in the living room, except for Ruhi. So I searched for her and I couldn't find her anywhere," she finished.
"That's when she tried to wake us up," Pranav continued. "It took a while and we were still hungover, we didn't get a hang of what she was saying to us. Akanksha gave us raw eggs and lemon to get out of it. When we came back to senses, she narrated the whole thing to us."
The air between them had started becoming thick as they kept on narrating what had happened. It was difficult for all of them. They should have been more careful. They shouldn't have done things that weren't supposed to. But they did anyway because they were just like any other teenager, careless and free.
"We searched everywhere— bedrooms, bathrooms, kitchen, cupboards and whatnot. But we couldn't find her anywhere. We were scared to call up at her house to check if she was there," Aditya revealed. "We decided to check the garden. And that's where we found a note, a riddle," he finished.
"What did the riddle say?" Vihaan asked them.
"Something along the lines of there will be four, the original number," Pranav recalled. "It said to come and find her where the leopards shine."
Vihaan looked at Akanksha who was in deep thoughts. He remembered her saying that the riddle she received last month felt oddly familiar but couldn't pinpoint where she had seen it. He was now aware that someone was trying to trigger her with what had happened back then. Akanksha was being targeted deliberately for the incident was related to her past. She looked clueless that day and she looked the same today. Did she not remember?
"Akanksha," he nudged her hand, "do you not remember this?"
"I am guessing she doesn't," Aditya said, "After this incident, Akanksha suffered from PTSD and anxiety. The trauma made her forget some huge chunks from that incident." Vihaan was shocked at what he had just heard. He did not imagine her to be suffering from PTSD. She never looked like she was suffering.
Sure, at times he had observed her getting fidgety and sweaty all of a sudden but never he had imagined that things were severe. Now he wondered about the time when she had told him about her therapist and how much she was nervous talking about her.
She had told him that she didn't visit her anymore. But looking at Akanksha, it did not feel like she was over it.
"We knew the place," Chirag said. "It was the woods in the Aarey colony highway. Akanksha drove us there since she didn't want to take risks as we were drinking a few hours ago. It was new years night and even at three in the morning, the roads were full. It took us almost an hour to reach there." Akanksha now realised why she was driving that night, she wasn't the drunk one. She closed her eyes and tried to remember if she could see herself driving but unfortunately, she saw Chirag, again. Her mind was fed with that information. She couldn't undo it somehow.
"We entered the forest with our flashlights on, shouting for Ruhi," Pranav picked up from where Chirag had finished. "It was dark, very dark and we were scared for Ruhi and also from the leopards. We slowly made our way through the forest and we weren't aware where we were going and then we heard a growl. We screamed on top of our lungs and ran where our feet could take us. And that's where we all got separated."
Akanksha remembered running, alone in the woods, her heart thudding in fear. She kept on calling all of their names and no one heard. She felt as if it was her last moment there and she could be killed anytime. The fear had captured her heart as if it was always meant to be there and she couldn't think straight.
"I think that was the time when Akanksha briefly met Ruhi trapped in a cabin house, in the middle of the woods," Aditya said, looking at her. Akanksha tried to recollect what she was used to seeing in her dreams. "It was dark and I could feel someone being trapped below the floorboards," she recalled, "Then I heard gunshots. I ran,"
"I had already found Chirag and Aditya," Pranav continued. "Akanksha was still missing. But then out of a sudden, she crashed into us, all bloodied. She was shot. She tried to tell us something but we could only pick up that Ruhi was trapped in there, in the cabin between the woods. And then the masked man came, holding Ruhi with a knife around her neck. The air now smelled like kerosene and we stepped back, the man and Ruhi were at a good distance away from us. And in one moment, he lit the match and threw at—" he choked upon his words as he couldn't speak anymore. It was hard. The pain was still afresh.
"And then her whole body was on fire," Akanksha completed his words. "She writhed in pain and we stood there watching her burn. We tried to call the police, the ambulance but there was no network. The man had run away, leaving her with us. We watched her crying for help, she was in pain," she gulped back her tear threatening to fall off her eyes. "Then in a moment, her body fell limp. She died." she finished.
"Somehow Adi's phone had a network. We called the police and the ambulance. Akanksha fainted soon after Ruhi," Chirag filled in with the last bit of details.
"Ruhi wanted to live a long and happy life," Pranav said, tears slipping out of her eyes.
"And from that day we became four from five. The original four," Aditya's eyes were filled with tears, both of shame and guilt.
And here we are down with another chapter. Quite a revelation isn't it? Well, this is just part one of what had happened eight years ago. The next part will explain the aftermath of the incident.
Let me know your favourite part from this chapter. We are going to hit 3K votes very very soon. So thank you everyone for voting and supporting this story. It means a lot to me.
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Yesterday, our legendary singer Lata Mangeshkar passed away at 92 years of age. She lived quite a long life. We have grown listening to her songs. My favourite songs will be all the ones from the film Veer Zaara. The way she had sang those songs always managed to move me and made me cry. May her soul rest in peace.
What's your favourite Lata Mangeshkar song?
With Love,
Akii.