Alana kept her gaze to the ground, guilt scrambling up her back in a familiar way as the silence only suffocated her more. She had a million things to say and nothing to say at all. An apology was not good enough for what she had just witnessed, and no excuse seemed logical enough.
"I- I am sorry, everyone," She wrung her hands together hearing rushing footsteps. "Momo, he just doesn't know when to stop—"
Alana's wind was knocked out of her, cutting her sentence short as her body was pressed into an iron embrace. The arms wrapped around her were possessive and desperate, holding her as close as possible.
"I thought we had lost you." Kazumi breathed into her hair. "I was so worried."
Alana's eyes widened, the only sight she could see was a close view of the golden threads on Kazumi's coat.
"Are you all right, dear? Did he hurt you?" Leopoldo's voice sounded to her right laced with concern.
"What sort of idiot lets themselves get kidnapped?!" Leven snapped from the right, but his annoyed tone was as well traced with worry.
Alana creased her brows at the reaction of the pirates, unexpecting such concern after such an intense fight.
I thought they would be furious with me; they looked so angry. I was sure this conversation would go much worse.
"You're... not upset with me?" Alana meekly quizzed, placing her hands gently on the sides of Kazumi.
"Of course not," Kazumi replied, moving one hand to the back of her head. "How could I ever be angry with you?"
"You didn't kidnap yourself," Leven grumbled.
"It is completely the fault of that fox, childhood friend or not." Leopoldo voiced.
Alana's shame knocked on her temples, embarrassed that Mamoru had done all of that for a quick bit of entertainment.
"I am sorry," Alana whispered. "I was not expecting him to go so far just to have fun."
"Fun?" Leven scoffed.
Kazumi eased Alana halfway out of the embrace, but never took his arms from around her, just enough to look down at her. His fingers captured her chin, gingerly pulling her gaze up to meet his.
"I am the one who is sorry, Alana."
Alana's chest thumped harder, Kazumi had rarely called her by her name, or anything for that matter. She knew whatever he was about to say he meant it, and the sorrowful look in his eyes made that fact all the more painful for her soul.
"If I had not ordered you to stay downstairs, if I had not let my mood affect my judgment, this would have never happened." Kazumi's eyes bore into her soul, Alana felt exposed under his brilliant stare. "I have been curt and ill-mannered with you lately; I hope you will forgive me. I allowed doubts to waver my resolve for you, and for that, I will never forgive myself. Had this not been just a childhood friend, had someone truly taken you out from under us... I would not be able to live with myself."
Alana knew very well that this confession took a great deal for the usually quiet and stoic man to admit aloud, particularly in front of the others. Kazumi too made himself vulnerable to her, spilling his soul to her by a little just for this simple apology. For the emotionless Demon Pirate Captain Kazumi Tachibana, emotions were for the weak, and showing them was for the pathetic, but when he looked into those wonderfully big, brown eyes all his emotions crashed into him.
For you to be in my arms like this forever, Alana... that is all I will ever want. Forgive me for ever doubting you, please. I need to hear from you that you will not hate me for this.
Alana began to tear up, hoping to keep them in long enough to reassure him, but as her lips quivered big tears fell from her.
"O-okay," She cried like a child.
Kazumi's golden orbs widened, frantically looking her form over dreading to find an injury.
"Are you hurt, dear?!" Leopoldo panicked.
Only the man not saying a word had seen the girl cry like this, the others rarely saw any expression other than a smile until recently.
"N-no," She lightly sobbed. "I just—just feel like I cause so much trouble for you all, and you all are always so nice to me. I feel like I ca-can't do anything right, and I am- I am always going to be a bother."
Stop crying, you look pathetic! You look like a baby! You cannot cry in front of people like them... strong people. Amun told me never to cry! And here I am! I'm such a disgrace. Alana scolded herself as she used the back of her hand to wipe her tears. She could not help herself, no one could, as the emotions welling up inside her surfaced. She felt like every time there was trouble, she is always in the middle of it, or hindering them. Now, she felt like she ruined even a simple meeting, though as irrational as that was.
"What?" Leven blurted, dumbfounded. "You can't be serious."
"Dear," Leopoldo sounded as if he was stifling a laugh. "You thought that was trouble for us?"
Alana's brows pulled in; eyes still blurry with tears she looked to a smiling Leopoldo. "Huh?"
Kazumi's strong fingers lured Alana's chin back for her to look up to him again.
"Alana, listen to me," His brows were set and his expression deadly serious. "You will never be a bother to us, you never be trouble and you will never be too much. All that you are is 'right,' you are the rising sun on the horizon we look to, the motivation for us, for us all. Utterly perfect. I will not tell you again, do not find our love petty. Our love will stretch the seas for you, so never assume we will think of you as anything but the absolute best thing to ever happen to us."
Alana felt sick to her stomach at his words, full of so much emotion, love, and guilt tearing her apart all at once. I do not deserve that; I am not who they think me to be... they love a lie... not me.
"I love you all as well." Alana's tears only ran harder. "So much."
She covered her puffing eyes, with the back of one hand.
"Jeez, you're such a crybaby." Leven joked.
"I think it's cute," Leopoldo teased. "Maybe as cute as her smile."
Alana's face washed a dark peach, not only flushed from crying but their words. She desperately tried to reign in her display of emotions but to avail. The stress from the day had weighed on her just like the night of the storm, times like these she found it hard to even take a breath. Alana's chest tightened with an unforgiving squeeze and her skin lit with a burning warmth. The shame licked their flames of humiliation at the base of her neck, spreading down her back as she continued to swipe at the falling tears.
Why am I crying so terribly? Why can't I stop?
"Let us go," Kazumi placed a kiss directly on top of her head, not caring if the others saw or of the envious narrowed eyes on him. "It is time to go home."
• —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– •
Alana sat on her bed; the fading sun of dawn left the last sliver of dim orange coating over her cabin. She sat with her legs tucked to her chest, resting her forehead on her knees. Physically and emotionally fatigued she was too tired to do anything else.
Kazumi's words drowned her mind repeatedly, a constant replay that made her heart swell.
I wish for nothing more than for this to be my life, but I am selfish enough as it is. I need to repair the reputation of Taycia, to do that I will have to give up this wonderful life. It has been hard lately, but I blame only myself. The excitement and freedom I feel when I am with them is unmatched by anything I have felt in my entire life. They say they love me as well, but would they if they knew? If they knew I was a Balosar.
Alana tiredly looked up from her knees.
"I cannot believe Momo would do all that," She huffed to herself. "And with Silas so close. It is a wonder if he did not hear the pirates screaming my name."
She outstretched her legs before throwing them over the side of her bed; she figured now was as good as time as any to get ready for bed. She rubbed her cheeks with her hands as if it would rub the thoughts away as well.
"I am so embarrassed." She whined softly. "I cried like a baby in front of all of them... and it came out of nowhere."
She sighed a hard huff and climbed to her feet, avoiding the memory of Leopoldo toying with her reddened cheeks the whole way back to the Scorched Bones.
"Cute." She scoffed recalling his words.
Her hands busied themselves opening her clothing trunk to retrieve something to put on after her cold bath. She had decided on a simple pink nightgown, silk with a slit identical to her emerald, green slip that Ivo had gotten for her. Alana tossed the garment on her bed and commenced undoing the ties around her corset front dress, but her fingers paused on the strings when a rough knock jolted her.
"Hey, idiot," Leven called from the other side. "Open up!"
Alana's heart began to beat a little faster for an unknown reason, it was only Leven but the embarrassment from earlier had crept up.
Alana took quick and steady steps to the door, taking a deep breath before opening it to reveal her annoyed expression of Leven.
She smiled kindly down to the young man, who as usual did not reciprocate the politeness.
"Yes?" Her voice nearly cracked.
"Come on." He seized her hand in his, surprising her as he began to pull her from her cabin.
"W-wait, where are we going?" Alana stammered out as she stumbled behind Leven.
"Just be quiet," He grumbled leading her through the lower decks.
Alana did not protest any more than that, finding the solace her heart longed for in the palm of his hand that held hers tightly.
Leven and Alana arrived on the top deck where the other three waited. Kazumi was back to no expression with his arms crossed, Leopoldo offering a small wave with a smile, and Ivo standing with his side to them.
Alana was surprised, she saw the Ekapan docks, not for off, and realized they had not sailed the entire day. After Kazumi had called for anchors up, she had gone back down to her room, and was so lost in her thoughts did not even notice the ship was not moving ahead.
"Why are we still in Ekapan, Kazumi?" Alana came to stand with the group by the starboard banister, facing the city.
She discovered it hard to see them well as the remaining sunlight had fled in the brief time it took her and Leven to arrive. Alana noticed that the lanterns were not lit, and the crew on deck had stopped working.
"We wished for you to see something." The captain turned away from her to face toward the city.
"You might like it," Leopoldo came to stand behind her. "Or it may frighten you."
Alana's brows furrowed with concern. "Frighten me?"
A distant squeal raced through the night air, causing Alana to jump, her attention went everywhere to find the noise. She was not prepared for the loud boom that clapped through the sky; Alana fell back into Leopoldo from shock. Her heart went wild in her chest as her eyes dazzled with the sparkling colors in the sky.
Leopoldo saved the girl from falling by placing his hands onto her shoulders to keep Alana steady, chuckling softly at her reaction. The crackling fizzed from the sky as if the oddity was never there.
"I guess frighten," He joked, not taking his hands away.
Alana was completely awestruck, amazed by the colors battling the stars for beauty.
"What was that?" She breathed wide-eyed.
"They're called fireworks," Kazumi commented as another screech sounded.
The next bang shot off colors of greens and yellows, still, Alana jumped in Leopoldo's grasp.
Her mouth gaped open at the display, impossible for her to tear her eyes away.
"They are used to celebrate or for special occasions," Leopoldo explained further.
"How?!" Alana eagerly asked stepping closer to the banister as more fireworks zoomed into the sky. "How do they do it?"
Leopoldo laughed a bit harder. "Colored powder and small explosives, they're quite simple, dear."
Her shock was replaced with a brilliant smile, excitement coursing through her. I think I have heard maids talking about these things! I never thought I would ever see these 'exploding colors' in my life!
"So, what? You like them?" Leven grumbled, hoping the fireworks did not expose the blush on his cheeks as he observed her excitement.
"They're so beautiful!" Alana cheered.
Her eyes never left the sky but had they she would have seen no one but her watching the show. The pirates looked to her with such desire it made them weak in the knees. Seeing Alana smile so brightly in a time like this, on a day like the one they just experienced, was all they needed to mend any wound they had. To think of losing such a treasure made their blood boil, it was a possibility made so blatant today. Even if Alana had not blamed the pirates for anything they felt like failures. Not being able to stop Mamoru from taking her, not even being able to kill him in their human forms, they knew they needed to do better, be better. They had gone so long unmatched that they let themselves be spoiled by the spirits within them.
To protect this pure warmth of theirs, they needed to become stronger, strong enough to carry the weight of their love. If that was even possible.
"Alana," Kazumi pulled her attention away from the explosions.
She grudgingly tore her eyes away to look up to the man, her big doe eyes still sparkling.
"Give me your hand." He orders.
She did not think twice about following his demand, but her brows did wrinkle a bit as he gently grasped the tips of her fingers. She felt something cold slip up her finger, fitting perfectly at the base.
"A ring?" She quizzed, not being able to make out the details in such poor lighting.
"Yes," Kazumi moved to hold her hand fully. "It is another gift from us, accept it."
Alana almost giggled at Kazumi's natural tone of control. "What for?"
"It is like a promise," Leopoldo said. "A promise to give you the best of us, forever."
The guilt wrapped around her heart like a thorn-covered lasso, but a flush rushed across her cheeks.
"We obtained it when we visited Captain Goa's grave, but we did not know how to give it to you," Kazumi explained.
Alana thought back to that day, thinking hard as she could and still could not recall when any one of them separated from the group.
"We saw it on the way to that lame bakery," Leven cut in as if reading her mind. "I hung back on the return to the ship."
"Oh," Alana hummed. "What do I promise?"
"Nothing," She thought she may have heard a scoff in Kazumi's voice as another firework cracked. "This promise is from us only. You need not worry over trying for us."
Alana's heart thudded even faster in her chest, feeling as if it would explode just like the art in the sky that night.
"Thank you, thank you, everyone." Alana's voice cracked.
I always hated the jewelry that they forced me to wear in the palace, I thought I just hated jewelry. But this ring makes my insides feel so warm, it makes my head all fuzzy. I will never take it off.
"Yeah, whatever." Leven scoffed, pretending to watch the fireworks as his heart thundered as well.
"I am so happy you like it, dear." Leopoldo petted over Alana's hair, lightly cupping her cheek in his hand as it lowered.
"We will all keep this promise with our life." Kazumi's hand squeezed hers a bit more.
Alana's smile battled the fireworks for brightness. "I love you all so much!"
Her words sound friendly, not romantic or devoting, but she meant those words with everything she had in her.
I promise to do my best as well!
Alana had stayed on deck until she was sure the very last firework had fizzled out. Even after the reassurance of Leopoldo that the show was over with, she stayed a bit longer. Even back in her room she continuously peeked out her porthole at the fading city, hoping to catch one last firework.
Washed and changed into her nightgown Alana was finally settling into bed, the sound of the explosives still ringing in her ear. Her eyes focused on the ring above her, her left hand raised over her face. It was a dainty, gentle piece, a simple thin gold band with a heart shaped gemstone pattern. Alternating between blue zircon on the , followed by a dark Ruby, then light green peridot, and finally a sapphire. I'm the middle of the heart was a white stone, an opal. It was as if each gemstone represented a pirate, and Alana adored it. She pulled her hand in to hold the ring close to her heart.
"I am so greedy." She whispered as she turned to blow out her candle.
Covered in her light teal blanket with the slight scent of the smoke from the extinguished candle swirling in her room, Alana thought she was ready to fall asleep.
Until a soft rapping rattled her door. The knock was unrecognizable to the girl who had familiarized herself with all the pirate's knocking. She figured they did not want to wake or draw the attention of anyone else.
"Come in." Alana sat up in bed wondering who it could be.
She at first only caught sight of the lantern, the light pulling all her attention down for a moment. Her eyes traveled up the figure to land where her heart dropped.
"Oh... Ivo."
[[I hope you guys enjoyed this sweet little, wholesome, calm down part! Remember to vote if you are enjoying Seasick!
We are getting so close to the end it makes me sad! But so excited too!
Also, sorry for the delay again! My lame boyfriend gave me COVID and looking at any bright screen made my head throb.
I had a bit of writer's block as well. I was so sure how I wanted to execute these last few chapters and then second-guessed everything, but we are back on track!
L. RANDY!]]
BONUS: Mamoru getting back to the Inn.
Mamoru returned to the Inn, washed in a disgusting feeling of envy. The words that the pirates spoke to Alana rang through his head. It made him rethink allowing them to live. However, though she posed it as a request his princess had given him an order. All he could do now was think of revenge that did not include killing them.
Silas paid no mind to the fox's return as he had his back to Mamoru, busying himself with cleaning the hung picture on the wall. Silas felt comforted through busy work, often doing chores when he could not train.
"Are you ready to tell me where the princess is?" Silas griped.
Mamoru threw himself back on his bed, muscles throbbing.
"Nope." He sighed while he focused on the pain coming from his cheek.
"You damn fox--" Silas began but as he turned he saw the blood oozing out of Mamoru.
"What happened?" Silas quizzed.
"Oh, this?" Mamoru pointed to his cheek with a grin. "I just lost a game."
Silas rolled his chestnut eyes, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his slender nose.
"Clean yourself then, beast. Do not get your blood on the pillowcases, I just changed them."
Mamoru scoffed a laugh, lifting his mask above his face, his eyes pinned to the slash in the wood. He spent so long using the mask to cover his fox-like features and now it is defaced. Flawed like how he felt himself to be. Mamoru felt his blood boil the longer he stared at the mask, so he cast it aside to the floor. Using his forearm to shield his eyes he released a shaky breath.
My flower. Does she find me repulsive now? Terrifying? Or does she see me as lame, getting injured by simple demon vessels?
"I am going to win the next round," He said to himself.
"Talk to yourself as you get off the fresh linens, damn fox."