'I still cannot believe you both are home!!!' Siya Vanni hugged Shilpa yet another time while I was playing with my babies doing my 'uncle duties' of feeding them chocolate while my mother was feeding me Gharai (Famous Gawd Saraswat Brahmin Jackfruit based sweet) and I moaned at its taste saying...
'Amma...no wonder dad is still with you inspite of all your threats and regular quota of being kicked out of bedroom!!' earning a smack on my head.
'This boy!!! Shilpa how did you tolerate him? And I'm warning you think again...look at him...are you sure you can tolerate him for a lifetime? He's cruel!!!!' my mom said pinching my earlobe while I simply looked at my mom and said...
'Mom stop brainwashing my future wife! And yup...you have to teach her to make this Gharai! You know na...she can't cook shit!!!' I said and a flying pillow came my way from Shilpa which I carefully dodged.
'Well Mr Businessman Prabhu...one of the reasons to marry you is that I don't have to cook ok??? Don't you dare expect me to learn cooking!' she said rolling her eyes to which Siya Vanni added...
'I second that Naman...I mean come on...you have spent crores for that lavish interior of your penthouse! You definitely don't want to burn that pretty kitchen down with Ships attempting to risk lives of everyone living in that apartment! She once tried to bake my chocolate cake and trust me I needed a nail and hammer to crack that into pieces! She definitely makes chocolate flavoured cement cakes which are nowhere edible!' Vanni added earning continues smacking from Vanni...
'Eyyyyy dare you Ships! I'm going to be your elder sister in law! Respect!!!!' Vanni said and Shilpa instead stuffed another pillow into her face while we all burst out laughing.
Post our little fun talks my dad asked with a serious tone...
'Naman ..Shilpa...are you both sure you want to get married this weekend? I mean it's too early! Look I'm not suspecting anything it's just that we understand if you want to take more time!' Dad said and I squeezed Shilpa's hand and she smiled looking at me.
'There is no need of more time Dad! I can't find another Shilpa and neither do I want to...she makes me happy! And I don't want to let her go! Never' saying I kissed her hand when she smiled.
We both had decided to have a simple marriage. Just we family members and no relatives. I had informed Rizi that we had decided to finally take the plunge and he literally wanted to pull his hair saying 'We spread so many rumours and now you both will end up marrying! Have you both planned on shutting down my news agency?' he groaned in frustration but nevertheless he was extremely happy for both of us. We even promised to share exclusive pictures of our wedding with him.
We were busy with shopping about our marriage however I noticed my mother and Siya Vanni having some secretive talks. Initially I ignored it but then when I couldn't stop myself and I approached them.
✨
'We really wanted to invite Shenoys and.... Keshav-Aditi. They are family too! It's just that...we didn't know if you and Shilpa would! I mean you know....' my mother said and Siya Vanni was looking elsewhere.
I simply took a step ahead towards my Vanni and said...
'I don't mind if you want to invite Aditi! She is my past and Shilpa is my future...and anyone's presence wouldn't change my mind!' I said and turned towards Shilpa and left a small kiss on her forehead and walked away from there.
It would be a lie if I say Aditi's existence won't hurt me or make any difference. But then I wanted to face it. I wanted to get over it. It was high time I face my demons.
There was a dinner organized for just us family members while Aditi-Keshav were also invited. Honestly my heart was having a rumbling feeling within but I had to face it. Shilpa's hands kept holding me warm however she chose to give me my space too. She understood how this felt. All she did was she came and kissed my nose whispering 'I love you baby' and I smiled.
And that's when my eyes fell on a chubby Aditi with an already big enough baby bump along with Keshav who was holding her hand. She kept walking inside and her eyes met mine and she splashed a forced smile. It killed me from within.
I picked a glass of scotch and walked towards balcony and sat sipping my drink looking at the sky.
When I felt a hand across my shoulder and I turned around and saw Keshav next to me. He smiled and a sudden discomfort filled my chest.
'Alchohol shouldn't be your thing!' he said and I nodded saying...
'Just one drink!' and he nodded
'Keshav!!! Will you be able to forgive me for behaving like that last time at your housewarming?' I asked and he smiled saying...
'Naman...you are not at fault! Stop asking for forgiveness...I never considered you wrong or ever considered you a culprit with your past! It was both your and Aditi's miscommunication! And I understand you loved Aditi and it's fine to love someone so much until and unless you don't make it toxic to them!!!' he said with a smile and I looked at Keshav for a few minutes and asked
'You know about those messages I sent to Aditi during her initial stage of pregnancy right?' and he smiled saying
'I know everything Naman and I also understand what you have gone through but you must understand one thing that if it was tough for you it wasn't easy for Aditi either. It's just that my wife is a more practical woman and you are more an emotional one. Probably that also became the reason for your breakup...your divorce!!!' Keshav said and I looked at him. How can he be so sorted?
'Dont give me that look Naman! I am also your doctor! My team has treated you and I know what runs in just that one look! And I don't blame you...loosing a child isn't a easy thing. It's just that I always wanted to chat with you about this but since I started dating Aditi you assumed me to be a villain in your life! It's not like that Naman! You have to understand that my personal and professional lives are different. You are a friend and you are my patient too. You were also my wife's ex husband and I always tried to keep your rapport as normal as possible with Aditi but you always considered it to be either a show off or a fake gesture where as it was just an attempt to let the ice break between you both. But you weren't ever in that right mindset.
But now! You have Shilpa!
She has helped you heal what my medicines or our pep talks could do!!! And now I feel you can understand my mindset. I was never your enemy Naman. I was always a well wisher. I understand your pain because it's never easy to loose as precious as a child. I understand it so well today because even when Aditi goes for a simple scan it scares me so much. The relief my chest feels when she says 'All ok' is something I can't even describe in words but then for you to loose a child then wasn't easy. I know you still have a growing anger within you for Aditi but I really insist once... listen to her! You have called her names... blamed her for all she did but once listen to her perspective as well. Understand her point of view. She is not wrong Naman. She is just different. You may call her selfish but I call her honest. The features you fell in love with became a thorn in your own relationship but then you must understand she was always like this. You accepted her like that then how could you expect her to become someone else?' Keshav's words made a huge impact in my mind and that's when I saw Aditi standing at a certain distance from him.
'You both must talk!' saying he was about to leave when I asked Keshav...
'You??? You don't mind me talking to Aditi?'
He smiled saying...
'She is my wife... she loves me Naman and as a husband it's my duty to keep my wife happy. Just like how your past is killing you...her present is killing her too. She is extremely happy being pregnant but something within her keeps her sad and guilty too. And I want her to talk to you so you both break the ice! And for the rest...I love Aditi and more than that I trust her. Just talk to her Naman. Clear all the mess at once!' he said and that's when Aditi's eyes met mine.
Keshav left the room and I walked closer to Aditi. We both were looking at the sky which was filled with twinkling stars and there was pin drop silence in the room.
It was high time. We talk!
'I am sorry for aborting our baby Naman' Aditi said and I turned around and looked at her. It's the first time she apologized for this and I looked at her. There were fresh tears in her eyes.
'Aditi???'
She smiled wiping her damp eyes and then she added...
'Whattttt??? Don't act like you are shocked...it was also my child Naman and now that I'm pregnant again I know my fears but shall I tell you something? It wasn't a decision to hurt you! It was a decision then to not hurt me. You can call me selfish but then I was practical Naman. Do you even remember the way you had started treating me? You had started interfering in my every decision from me going to office to me taking up projects. You even went to the extent to reply emails and messages cancelling my meetings' she said and I quickly interrupted saying
'You had complications in the pregnancy Aditi! Doctor had asked you to take care of yourself and you were working non stop!'
'Wrong! I would work hard but not enough to ignore my health. I always ate my food on time. Took my multi vitamins even though I didn't want the baby and always took enough rest and avoided travelling but you were insecure!'
'I cared for you Aditi! We were going to have our first baby!'..
'And you forgot that it was I who was going to be a new mother too...you didn't think once about how I felt when you started making me feel incompetent about my own work commitments. You started finding stupid flaws in my work and my plans. You would object me in every damn meeting!'
'It was only because I didn't want you to stress out Aditi. You were overdoing it.'
'Would you treat any other employee the same way if she was pregnant and made feel how unworthy her presentations were? Answer me Naman???'
And honestly I was left speechless.
'There are so many women who face this at workplace Naman! The minute their employers know they are pregnant suddenly they start thinking their dedication and concentration would get diverted. I don't understand why can't these men understand that if a mother can both run a home and run a nation at the same time why can't she be considered enough strong to handle her pregnancy and work both hand in hand? Why should a woman choose?
I mean even men become father when their wives deliver a baby why isn't attitude towards them changing? Just because women have nausea, morning sickness doesn't mean she can't stay back longer and fulfill her work commitments! Why cannot men like you digest that we can be both a handy succesful professional and a perfect mother too???'
And i didn't have an answer.
'I tried Naman! I tried but you and your posessive nature pushed me to an extent to choose between my dream and my baby and Naman my London office was also the baby I pursued longer than the unplanned pregnancy. I wanted to keep both but your overposessive behaviour didn't let me!
I had to choose and I have no regrets that I chose my career! I gave it 4 years of my life Naman. Aborting the baby hurt me too but honestly answer me Naman if I wouldn't have done that would I have continued as a successful businesswoman today? Or I would just have been Mrs Naman Prabhu???' and that felt like a tight slap.
It was harsh but it was true.
'I am happy for you Naman! You were my first love but you weren't the one for me. I am a little demanding. I am not the kind you wanted. Dedicated...soothing and giving. I am strong headed... selfish and practical...you know the kind which society terms in simple terms as a bitch! But that is just me and I don't blame you for not being able to tolerate my strong personality but was I wrong...No! I still don't think I was! Because just with announcement of pregnancy if things got that toxic amongst us I don't know how toxic our relationship would have been being parents!
But...I'm sorry for aborting the baby going beyond your opinion!
But I'm sorry but I still don't think I was wrong!!!' she said it all crisp and clear.