🦋MIA🦋
Taking a long sip of my steaming green tea latte in a cozy corner of the bustling café, I put it aside as I go through the notes the lecturers gave us today on my matte black macBook, its sleek design catching the dim lighting in the room. The weight of the semester's workload is beginning to press heavily on my mind. It's now a whirlwind of assignments, group projects and CATs. Every week is now bringing a new wave of academic challenges and responsibilities. Memories of high school float through my mind where we were often told that university life would be a breeze, requiring minimal effort and studying but it turns out that those were all empty lies. "Can you remember back in high school when were told that in university life and studies is only a walk over and all easy?" I ask Aria who is sitting opposite me also busy studying.
Breathing out a heavy sigh, she slumps on top of the table resting her head on it and tracing the small circles and designs with her finger. "Ah, yes. I can remember, they filled our innocent minds with lies. Pure deception. It's funny how we were led to believe that once we stepped into university, our worries would evaporate and our workload would be a mere afterthought." She laughs dryly, taking a sip of her green tea latte that I ordered for her so she doesn't steal mine like she usually does.
The truth is, university life demands a level of dedication and commitment far beyond what we had ever imagined. The workload seems never ending and the pressure to excel is ever present. Getting done with studying an hour later I close the macbook, gently shutting it down and Aria's beautiful sunflower necklace drawing my attention which she delicately runs her slender fingers on, a smile plastered on her lips. "I love your necklace."
"It's a gift from Jodan. He gave it to me on our date last night."
My smile widens at how happy Aria is. I'm happy for her and Jodan.
"I still can't believe Jodan and I have been together for four years now. Time flies so fast, it was only yesterday that we started dating in high school, now we're in university together." Her smile widens as her fingertips caress the smooth surface of the sunflower necklace.
Time sure flies so fast.
"I've heard alot about your new buddy in campus." Aria's inquisitive gaze meets mine as she wiggles her eyebrows at me, smiling mischievously as I take a bite of the slice of ham and pineapple pizza, scrunching my nose in distaste. It's not as tasty as I expected it to be considering the constant hype from my friends.
"What did you hear?"
"The moment Lucas steps inside a room a cold chilly wind blows, like in the movies." Aria narrates dramatically making all sorts of gestures as I laugh softly at her actions. "Nobody sits next to him and he also doesn't like people being near him. He doesn't talk to anyone, even the lecturers sometimes teach in fear when he's in class. Who wouldn't fear him after he beat someone to unconsciousness once."
With everything she has just said I burst out in laughter as all she does is stare at me like I've gone crazy. "Where did you hear all that. It's all lies."
"They aren't." She states in certainty and my laughter slowly dies down getting replaced with a scowl on my face.
Lucas has beat someone to unconsciousness?
"You're serious." I state and she nods.
"When Lucas is with you, he's a completely different person. He's calm and okay but when he's alone he's like an angry and troubled person ready to pounce on anyone who makes a wrong move on him. He's basically a ticking time bomb."
The Lucas Aria is talking about and the Lucas I've known these past months are two totally different people.
"To so many people, Lucas is harsh, heartless and has a cold demeanor. That's their perception of him but when you get to know him for who he really is, you'll realize he isn't any of that. He's friendly, nice, full of energy and talks alot. He has a gorgeous heart and his aura is positive and gentle. When you're with him, you feel appreciated, supported and genuinely loved and cared for. He gives you the freedom to be yourself. Lucas is a dreamy man and it's an honor to be able to call him your own. Even with your brokenness...my brokenness, he still doesn't think any less of me even when the rest of the world does. He allows me to be me without question. Every single beat of my heart tells me he's a rare gem and I wish the world would see that too and stop judging him."
Aria's deep and inquisitive gaze only grows on me as she takes in my words once I'm done rambling. "Okay then. I think you're the only person he's nice to though, he's soft with you. He's a rock with everyone else but with you, he becomes soft like a teddy bear."
"That's no true. Most people think Lucas is cold but maybe he's doing all that to protect his heart and soul from judgemental people. Underneath that exterior is a sad but soft hearted man. I know all this because I never judge him and got to know the real him. Aria please don't be one of those people who can't seem to let him be."
She nods her head reaching out for my hand across the table and squeezing gently. "Mia please understand that I'm not judging Lucas or even making assumptions about him based on other people's speculations and lies. I'm only informing you of everything I heard, that's all."
Tommy joins us and scoffs sitting next to me, discontent written all over his face. "You're friends with someone who smokes and beats up people with his friends. You don't see anything wrong with that?"
"There is always two sides of a story."
Tommy snickers looking straight at me, irritated by my silence. "Mia is this really you because I don't recognize you right now. Out of everyone on campus you just had to make friends with him?"
Remaining silent once again I continue eating my tasteless pizza in peace. I still don't know much about Lucas because he rarely talks about himself and his life, deeming it unnecessary and waste of time. There is so much about him that I'm still not aware of.
Shoving my macbook, notebook and pen inside my backpack I get up swinging it over my shoulders and walking out of the cafe leaving Aria and Tommy behind. I head to the parking lot spotting my car only to see Marlin, Jakoda and another guy who is usually with them but I still don't know his name. He must be the Tekhani Ava mentioned. He also has tattoos inked on both his arms but not as numerous as the ones his three friends have. He's tall just like them, Lucas the tallest at 6'3", his long icy blonde hair neatly brushed and worn back revealing his forehead.
"Mia, pretty lady." Jakoda exclaims as I approach them to say hello before leaving. "To what do we owe the pleasure?"
"Mia this is Tekhani, you can call him Tk." Malin introduces me to their friend. "Tk meet Mia, Lucas's friend."
"It's nice to meet you." Tk says to me, then I see his tongue piercing.
"It's nice to meet you as well." I reply and a warm smile spreads across his face as he leans against their car. Just like Ava mentioned, Tk is playful and cheeky. Stifling a laugh, I watch him as he makes fun of Jakoda and Malin who keep pushing him away for constantly getting on their nerves. It's like brothers playing and joking around with one another.
Gazing around I don't see Lucas making me wonder where he is because the four of them are always together after completing all their lectures. "He's in the car." Malin utters after noticing how I'm looking around in confusion, Jakoda laughing at me next to him. "We know Lucas is the one you're looking for. You don't have to say it out loud."
He points at the passenger door and I swing it open only for a thick cloud of smoke to sip out, instantly filling the air around me. Surprised and taken aback, I quickly let go of the door, coughing and moving away while holding my chest. Lucas steps out of the car clad in an all black outfit as always, a white hoodie in the passenger seat. He brings the joint to his lips, drawing deeply from its intoxicating embrace and exhaling, a stream of smoke escaping his lips, swirling and dancing in the air before slowly dissipating into nothingness. His piercing gaze remains locked onto mine the entire time, penetrating my soul.
"Do you need me?" He stands infront of me and I glance up at him, meeting his eyes. Then he exhales a cloud of smoke straight in my direction and in my face. Instinctively, I recoil, my hand pushing against his chest to create a distance between us. His friends erupt into raucous laughter, their amusement echoing in the parking lot.
"Yes I need you." I wave my hands around to get rid of the smoke, Jakoda scoffing behind us. Although I dislike being around smokers, I'm willing to tolerate it when it comes to Lucas. I'm sure he doesn't care about my opinion on his smoking habits anyway. "I don't know what you meant by asking me if I need you but that doesn't matter. I need to talk to you about something important." I add while shooting a stern glare at Jakoda who is still laughing. What's so funny? Ignoring him, I keep my eyes on Lucas. "You're smoking on campus, you can get expelled you know."
"I need something to keep me from going insane." Lucas whispers to himself while staring at the joint he's holding between his fingers. "They can't do shit to me, they know better." He exhales the smoke not caring about the other students in the parking lot and all the security cameras.
"Yes because you'll beat them to unconsciousness." I whisper averting my gaze from him.
"What?" Lucas asks placing the joint back between his lips.
"Nothing."
"Let me finish this first." He points at the joint and gets back inside the car. Noticing how restless I am, Lucas steps out of the car giving Tk the remaining joint who continues smoking it. He picks his hoodie and we walk out of the parking lot together, heading to the football field and walking further down and away from the halls to a secluded place. I glance at him constantly wondering where we're going to. "I want to show you something." He says next to me as we keep on walking.
This place is so desolate, there are no students around.
We reach a small old shade and a serene atmosphere envelopes us. The air is cool and carries the scent of flowers that have been planted around. Lucas opens the door and two wooden benches come to sight, placed opposite each other. The room is spotlessly clean, rays of sunlight filtering through the windows and casting gentle beams of light on the half painted walls. "When I joined university I was having a hard time adapting to the new environment. So I would wander around campus and away from everyone, that's when I stumbled upon this old shade. It was really dusty and bushy because it was abandoned and never used. So I cleaned it up and planted flowers around. Since then, it has been where I come to when I want to clear my mind and have alone time. It's peaceful here."
"It truly is." I look around the room, sitting next to him on the bench.
"This shade used to be dull but now it finally has some beauty." He states looking straight at me and I smile avoiding his eyes once again, maintaining eye contact with this man isn't easy.
His gaze settles on my pink strawberry water bottle and he laughs at me just to get on my nerves. "What is it with you and strawberries. You're obsessed with them."
"See how cute it is." I hold out my water bottle to him happily. "You also love boots, you wear them mostly." I point at the tan faux suede Chelsea boots he has on. I saw several pairs of combat, military, balmoral and Chelsea boots in his bedroom back at his house.
"Yes I love and wear them most of the time. I have several pairs because my dad buys them for me whenever he comes across them in the city. He's aware of how much I love boots." Whenever Lucas talks about his family, he's always so happy and smiles constantly. Drinking my water, I put the bottle next to me on the bench as he sits up. "What do you want to talk about?"
I don't want to ruin the good mood he's in right now. If I mention what Aria told me, he'll obviously get upset. "Nothing." I pick the water bottle only for him to hold my hand snatching it from me.
"Go ahead and say it. Why're you nervous right now?" He asks as I rub the back of my neck, something I do whenever I'm nervous.
"How do you know that I'm nervous?"
"Stop rubbing the back of your neck and tell me what's wrong."
Great, just great. Lucas is already aware that I tend to rub the back of my neck whenever I'm nervous. He notices every little thing about me and when he looks at me, it's like he's staring right into my soul, reading and unmasking me. Everything I try to keep hidden from everyone, he's the only one who brings it out in the open. He sees right through me.
"You beat some to unconsciousness." I blubber clasping my hand over my mouth and Lucas squints his eyes at me.
"What's wrong with you now?" He laughs softly as I remove my hand from my mouth.
"You beat someone to unconsciousness." I state again and he slowly stops laughing, getting up from the bench we're both sitting on and leaning against the wall instead, far away from me.
His face isn't the calm one anymore but now a blank one, totally void and emotionless. "That's true, I won't deny it."
"To unconsciousness. A small beating may be okay depending on the circumstances but to unconsciousness?"
"How's that your business?" Lucas suddenly asks coldly, his fists clenched and his nails digging deep in his palms.
Trying to answer I come up with nothing. He also doesn't say anything, just stares at me. "What I do with my life shouldn't matter to you in any fucking way." He snarls through clenched teeth, his voice a roll of thunder. "Stay the fuck out of it."
I think I hit a nerve with my question, or maybe crossed the line, his line. "You're right and I'm sorry for asking." I whisper picking my bottle and drinking the water, Lucas still leaning against the wall, silent. Not able to bear the deafening silence between us anymore, I grab my bag getting up to leave and feeling his hard gaze still on me.
Opening the door ready to walk out, Lucas grabs my arm pulling me back inside the room, my back hitting his hard chest. His hot breath fans my neck and I close my eyes shut, my heart thumping violently and goosebumps breaking all over me. With his body pressed against mine from behind, I can feel his heart pulsing against my back to the beats of mine, his strong arms coiled around my waist. All I can do is take deep breaths in an attempt to remain calm. After a long moment I turn my head to look over my shoulder at him, trying to spin to face him but he pulls me closer instead, bridging the remaining gap between us and his grip on my waist firm enough to keep me in place. Slowly he reaches out for my hand, intertwining our fingers and sending shivers down my spine, the mere contact of his skin against mine sending a surge of electricity coursing through my veins. Lucas takes a sharp intake of breath behind me, the both of us aware of the rapid rise and fall of our chests, the rhythm of our heartbeats echoing in sync. Silence becomes our language as we ravel in the touch and intoxicating warmth between us.
Lucas finally lets go of me and I slowly turn around facing him and holding his gaze, recognizing the struggle in his eyes. He's fighting something, trying so hard not to give in.
"He said some awful and hurtful shit to me about my mum not finding her family good enough and leaving us. He said my family is fucked up and broken. I lost it." He finally whispers faintly.
"If you have any other questions just ask. I'm ready to answer." He adds breathlessly crossing his arms against his chest, his eyes still locked onto mine.
"Someone said that you and your friends beat people up, like it's something you guys always do." I mutter not wanting to jump into conclusions. I want to hear his side of the story. Lucas just laughs and I stare at him blankly wondering what's funny.
"Mia where did you get all this shit from?" He asks and I look away unwilling to tell him that it's my brother and Aria who told me.
"It doesn't matter right now, just tell me."
"Sometimes, only bullies. I don't like bullies." He states coldly, his eyes flashed with anger. Looking at him closely, my mind starts spinning as I wonder why he hates bullies this much. I get it, nobody likes bullies but he seems to hate them to a deep and higher level. With a sigh, he gazes at me. "There's still so much you don't know about me."
Lucas comes back to me, holding my chin and I look up meeting his eyes. There's raw honesty in his voice, a vulnerability that he rarely reveals to others. He's baring his soul to me and allowing me a glimpse into the depths of his inner turmoil. "Mia, I'm a fucked up man like everyone thinks. I'm not your typical good man that buys a woman flowers, sings to her, quotes poetry for her and shit like that. I'm a messed up man who drinks alcohol and smokes to escape my problems and constantly gets into fights. I'm flawed and imperfect. I'm the man parents warn their daughters to stay away from. People saying I'm broken and damaged don't hurt me anymore, I've already accepted who I am and embraced the darkness within me."
"I'm afraid the real me is going to scare you away. You're going to start seeing me the way I see myself and it's something I fear." With a weak smile he moves away again and it feels like he's already so far away even though he's still here with me.
Lucas is not broken or damaged, he's a survivor. Even though I still don't know much about his life, what's crystal clear and all out in the open is he has been through hell but still manages to smile and laugh at life. His heart has been crushed, ripped out and stomped on by the people who promised to stay by his side only to leave. He has walked over shattered glasses that pierced his heart deep down to his soul but he still manages to recover by himself. Life never goes easy on him and he doesn't go easy on himself either. When I look into his eyes I see a man who has pulled through every obstacle life has thrown at him and I'm proud of him for surviving.
"Lucas you're not broken or damaged." I tell him but he ignores me. Taking his hand in mine and trying to make him look at me, he pushes my hand away. "Look at me, please." I plead with him and he hesitates before finally looking at me. "You're not broken or damaged." Holding his face between my hands he looks back at me with so much vulnerability that I've never seen in him before.
"Mia people judge me before they even get to know me for who I really am. That's why I would rather be alone. All they do is judge me."
"You've been here for me these past months, every time I need someone to talk to and listen, you are always there, ready to help in any way you can. You understand me in a way no one else does." I squeez his hand in mine and he squeezes back. "I want to be here for you too. So please, let me in." Lucas is always ready to listen to me but never talks about himself. I don't want to pressure him. When he'll be ready, I'll be here. "Please let me see you." I whisper to him and he arches an eyebrow. "The real you, without the pretence, mask or facade."
"Mia even if I do that, in the end you'll leave because everyone always leaves and I don't think I'll be able to handle it. You're a great friend to me and I don't want to lose our friendship."
"We won't lose our friendship. It's means alot to me just as it does to you." I assure him. "We're going to continue annoying each other for a very long time, trust me. I'm not going anywhere."
I wrap my arms around him in a tight embrace before pushing him away and he smiles widely. Our friendship means alot to us and we have each other.
Lucas and I have found a special friend in each other.
We are changing each other's lives just by being a part of it.
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
AUTHOR'S RANT.
Question of the chapter.
♥️WHAT HELPS YOU RELAX?♥️
Where are my matcha lovers at?