no tiktok reference
y/n's pov
THE 2ND OF NOVEMBER
Well — the first thing I did this morning wasn't talk to Timothee like I hoped, instead I was talking shit to the toilet as I threw up a whole lot more. I sat on my knees with a few tears streaming down my face, extremely frustrated and angry.
I fell asleep for about 2 hours last night, but woke up to Harry's loud snoring. No matter how hard I tried to sleep, I couldn't. My thoughts kept coming back to me, as soon as I pushed away a thought and closed my eyes another one would pop out of nowhere. I tossed and turned in the bed, I even went to the kitchen to make some tea, but that didn't help.
My thoughts were filled with a couple things;
This possibility of being pregnant.
Will Harry even want the baby?
How will my family react? Because I know that my dad isn't Harry's biggest fan at the moment...
How would the baby look? Would it be a girl? Would it look more like Harry or me? Will it have Harry's curls? Will it have my eyes?
After painting a picture of how I thought this baby, if I was pregnant, would look I started thinking about the movie.
The movie that I thought would jumpstart my career is now at stake.
I'm just a failure. We haven't even began filming and I already failed.
What if I fail the baby? What if I'm not a good mom?
All of those thoughts ended up with me bawling my eyes out on the sofa with a blanket. Harry rushed in when he heard my sobs, swooped me up, and carried me to bed. I refused to talk to him about the situations I—I mean we were in because I wasn't ready.
I didn't want him to know about the pregnancy until I took the tests and got my mind in the right mindset. I didn't want his first pregnancy announcement to be sad because I knew if I told him last night he'd end up worrying more about me then actually getting to enjoy the news. I needed to find the right time where we were both stable, mostly speaking about myself, but fuck off.
And if Harry found out the news about Olivia and her way of sabotaging me, he'd be absolutely livid. I just know things wouldn't end well, I don't want him to stress about it while he's on tour. He's already exhausted from doing so many shows and I didn't want to add any more stress or pressure on him.
"Darling, you're throwing up again?" Harry came in through the door with his messy hair and sat down next to me. "We should bring you to the doctors."
"N-no. I'm alright, it's probably just a bug. I'm fine, H." I pushed myself off the floor, stood up in front of the mirror and examined myself. A walking zombie, possibly pregnant, but who knows.
"If you say so, darling."
I continued to brush my teeth, comb my hair, and apply some make up on my face to cover up any imperfections I had.
"Babe, the band is already in Milwaukee for the show tomorrow, so I need to head over to Jeff's to book our plane tickets-"
"Umm, H. You know I'd love to go, but I don't think I'm in the best condition to be going anywhere right now." Partially true, but I needed my own time to figure out this whole mess.
A hint of disappointment was written on his face, but was soon covered up with a worried smile.
"I guess you're right, but I just thought it'd be better if I was right by your side in case anything were to happen to you. I don't want you to be alone while you're throwing up. Your parents are going to be out of town until Friday. Who's going to take care of you?"
"Harry, I'll be fine. I'm sure I'll be all better by tomorrow. You're going to be busy and I don't want you worrying about me while you're supposed to be having fun."
"But all I do is worry about you."
"I appreciate that, love, but I promise you I'll be okay. You have a three day break after tomorrow's show, I'll see you then." I came up to him and placed my palm on his cheeks, both of my thumbs caressing his sweet face. "We'll be alright." I sing-songed.
He smiled down at me and pressed a soft kiss on my lips. We stayed in each other's arms for a while until his phone started to ring. I was glad he had to go to Jeff's, it allowed for me to talk to Timothee and Max alone. If he was around he would've been by my side the whole time and I wouldn't be able to hide the fact Olivia is trying to ruin my reputation.
After making a light breakfast for Harry and I, he finally left the apartment with his coffee in hand. I texted Timothee saying I was ready to talk and a couple minutes later we were on facetime.
"Dude, I can't believe she's doing this. I've never met her, but what a bitch." Timothee was sitting on his couch looking more distraught than I did.
"Trust me, you don't want to meet her."
"I bet. I texted Max and asked him if he can chat with us and he agreed. Should be getting a text from him soon."
"I'm nervous, Timothee. What if he really does kick me out of this movie."
"I bet you, he won't. Don't worry yourself out, it's just going to make things a hundred percent worse." Timothee was right, I won't stress myself about this until I really have to. "Oh, he's ready now. Are you?"
I nodded my head slowly as he added Max into the call. I straightened my posture and made sure I looked presentable. This felt like a job interview, the longer I waited for Max's face to show up the more nervous I got.
"Just breathe, Y/N. Everything will be just fine."
"Timothee, so nice to see you and Y/N it's lovely to meet you. Wish we could've met in person, but this works as well." Max let out a laugh and my nerves eased a bit. He seemed nice...?
"It's great to meet you, Max. Although this wasn't the ideal topic I wanted to talk to you about on our first conversation." Let's head straight in.
"Sorry, what are we talking about again?" Max sounded confused. I looked at Timothee and we both mirrored each other's expression, confused.
"Umm, the rumors about you kicking me off the movie?" I slowly let the words out and his eyes widened, he looked sad.
"Oh-uhh—yeah...that." Max was at a loss for words.
"Come on, Max. Don't sound so concerned now, everyone is talking about it. You honestly can't do this. Brandon and Claire said Y/N was the perfect role for this movie. You've seen the audition tape and you damn well know it's true." Timothee was angry and so was I.
"Guys-"
"Max, you're a great director and I love everything you do, but I know you know that taking Y/N out of this movie will just ruin everything."
"Please just lis-"
"Max? Who are you talking to?"
That loud wretched voice that I hate so much could be heard from a mile away.
"Y/N? Timothee Chalamet? What are you guys trying to do?" Olivia's face popped up on the screen and I wanted to shrivel up and die. She never goes away. Always pops up out of nowhere like freakin whack a mole.
"We're talking to Max, not you. Please leave." My voice was laced with hatred, I wanted to let her know that I was done with her bullshit.
"No. Whatever you have to say to Max you can say to me because this brilliant idea of kicking you off this movie was my idea. Max just somehow seemed to agree with me."
"Max. Is that true? You really do agree with Olivia?" Timothee was staring intently at the screen, but i knew he was aiming it towards Max and Olivia. I looked behind Olivia and saw Max trying to come up with words, but instead of him speaking, all I hear is the wicked witch of the west. "You won't get to change his mind, but maybe you can do something to change mine."
"What?" I uttered in confusion.
"You know what I want." She smirked at me and I just wanted to bitch slap her. I knew where she was headed with this. "A certain green eyed boy, curly hair, super handsome."
"YOU'RE DOING THIS BECAUSE YOU WANT HARRY?" Timothee yelped out loud and I had to lower the volume on my phone from the sudden loudness.
"Oh shut up, Timothee. You're just jealous that Y/N chose Harry over you."
"Olivia that's enough." Max finally got his words out, but they were definitely not the words I've been wanting to hear, but it's good enough. "Um-Y/N. I'm really sorry about this, but I think it's just best if you pull out of the movie, I know Harry means alot to you."
"Wh-what? Max...really? You're going to go through with this? You're going to make me choose between my b-boyfriend and my career?" My voice was shaky at this point. Tears were threatening to spill out of my eyes any second now.
"I'm sorry. I truly am." Max was filled with regret and I was glad.
"C-can I atleast have until the end of the week to think about this? Please." I begged, I was desperate. This isn't a decision that could be easily answered.
"I, yeah that's fine. You have until Sunday evening. It was nice to meet you and again I'm really sorry for this." Max said his last words before he left the call.
"Y/N...I'm really sorry." Timothee looked at me with sad eyes and I just wanted to curl up in bed.
I hate that look.
"I'm gonna go. I need to be alone." Timothee nodded his head and I pressed the red button.
I slowly brought myself to the bed and thought about what just happened .
This would have been an easy decision to make if the possibility of me being pregnant wasn't on the table.
I knew if the possibility wasn't there, Harry would tell me to choose my career, he would understand and I wouldn't feel guilty for it because I knew Harry would be there at the end, but the pregnancy changes everything.
I can't raise this baby alone. I don't want it to grow up without his/her father by their side. I needed Harry and I knew that before I made a decision on my career, I had to know if this baby would be joining us in a couple months.
—
Dealing with Olivia is sooo tiring 😵💫
She's taking the test soon, what do you guys think it is? Positive? Negative?
Props to Timothee for standing up for Y/N, we love Chalalmalbingbong.