Safania's POV
I sat in my bedroom, waiting for Emalina but still thinking about the previous day I had spent with Cassius. We walked around outside for hours. Even though it was the coldest I had ever felt, the winter air whipping around us as we strolled, it was still an enormous relief. Being stuck inside for three weeks had driven me crazy.
We watched the guards train for a bit, and then watched the caravan leave for the Western Fort. I smiled thinking of Liasa escaping as Cassius and I waved them goodbye. Then we had walked to the river running past the castle. Cassius had made a small fire, and we laughed and talked just like we did before he had left. We stayed out well past the sunset, only returning when the last embers of the fire died. I found myself smiling as I remembered the day. Everything seemed brighter now that he was back. And the more time I spent with him, the more I realized how much I had missed him.
Was there a way for us to be together? I had tried to push the thought out of my head over and over again, but I couldn't. The thought of being with Cassius...since the war I hadn't wanted anything except to be safe. But now there was something else, something I wanted so badly I couldn't even admit it to myself. Something that had kept me up most of the night.
"Good morning!" Emalina shouted, bursting into the room and startling me.
"You look happy," I commented. "Does this have anything to do with your time with Alton?" I asked.
"Before we talk about that, there's something I want to get off my chest."
"...okay?" I said hesitantly.
"I was thinking about it a lot and you were right about Liasa. I hate to admit it, but I think I've been in the castle too long. Your sense of morality here just kind of changes. You start to accept that things are the way they are."
Emalina sat next to me at the table. "You are the best thing that has happened to this kingdom in a long time. And no matter how much anyone, me included, tries to get you to accept messed up things, don't. Okay?"
I smiled. "Okay Em."
"Good. I'm glad that's settled. And I'm so glad that Liasa is out of here. Thank goodness Prince Cassius came back when he did. I don't know what we would have done without him."
"Neither do I," I said softly.
"What was that?" Emalina said, grinning.
"What was what?"
"That look! That dreamy I-can't-stop-thinking-about-him look!"
I shook my head. "It's complicated."
"With you it normally is," Emalina replied.
"I want to hear about your magical day with Alton," I said, refocusing her attention.
"Oh! Well, it was incredible. We went into town to see a concert, and then he took me to eat at this little pub. The food was incredible. We should go sometime! And we went on a nice, long walk..."
I listened as Emalina described her day with Alton.
"Em, why aren't you married?" I asked when she had finished.
She laughed. "That's a pretty bold question," she replied.
"I don't mean...I'm just curious," I tried to explain, slightly flustered. "In Eir if people were together for more than a year, they almost always got married. I was just wondering if it's different here."
"It depends," she replied. "Nobility usually have a courtship of a week or two, if that. Arranged marriages are common. But for commoners, it's expensive, so we have to spend a lot of time saving up."
"And have you been saving up?" I asked.
"So nosy today! Yes, we have," she said with a smile.
"You know, if you asked Cassius he would probably pay for it," I told her.
"I'm sure he would," Emalina replied. "But Alton is very adamant about doing it all himself. It's a pride thing I think. And I don't mind the waiting. I mean, what's the point of getting married anyway?"
I thought for a moment. "Well, I suppose it's a way for you to explain your commitment to each other. To say why you love each other. You make promises to each other and bind yourselves together for the rest of your lives. It's a beautiful ceremony."
"So you come up with what you want to say yourself?"
"In Eir we did...the words that work for one couple may not work for another, because no couple is the same. So each couple would choose the promises they wanted to make. That's not how they do it here?"
Emalina shook her head. "No, it's just a script. Everyone says the exact same thing. But wouldn't it be kind of embarrassing? To say personal things in front of everyone like that?"
"What do you mean everyone?"
"Like saying personal promises in front of the whole city."
I shook my head. "Em, in Eir only the two people getting married, the person performing the ceremony, and maybe a few close friends are there. Then, after, there's a huge festival in the streets with lots of music and dancing to celebrate."
"That's really different," Emalina said. "Maybe if it was like that here more people would get married." She stood up. "Well enough about that. We have to get you ready for the day. And we need to make sure to do your nails and prep your skin and hair for tomorrow."
"Tomorrow?" I asked.
"You seriously forgot? The ball is tomorrow! I was starting to worry Cassius wouldn't make it in time."
Oh shoot. I had completely lost track of the days.
"Come on Saffy, let's do your face now so it has time to rest before tomorrow night."
The rest of the morning, Emalina worked on my face, hair, nails. We chatted and laughed the way we had before all the stress of the past couple days.
"Having fun?" a voice came from the door.
"Your highness!" Emalina exclaimed. "It's so great to see you again. And thank you for giving me the day off yesterday."
"Of course," Cassius replied. "I assume you're preparing for the ball?" he asked, looking at my robe and my hair in a towel.
"Yes, your highness," Emalina replied.
"Well I won't disturb you for long. But can I borrow Safania for a moment?"
"Of course, your highness," Emalina said, curtseying. "I have to go get some more supplies from my room anyway." She walked out of the room, leaving Cassius and I alone.
"I'm looking forward to tomorrow," he told me.
"So am I," I replied truthfully.
"I wanted to let you know that I won't be able to spend the evening with you. There's a dinner for some foreign dignitaries and nobles throughout the kingdom that my father is making me attend. I wish I could drag you along with me, but no unmarried guests are allowed."
I nodded. "I understand."
Cassius took my hand. "I probably won't get to see you at all until tomorrow at the ball. I have meetings all morning as well. But tomorrow evening, I'm all yours."
I shivered at Cassius's words. Remember, you're just friends, I told myself.
"I'll see you tomorrow," I told him. He smiled.
"Have a good evening Safania," he said, kissing my hand before he left. He had started doing that more frequently, but I didn't mind. I wonder if he could tell it gave me chills.
Emalina came back in as the prince was leaving.
"What did he want?" she asked.
"He isn't going to be able to spend the evening with me. Some dinner for members of high society or something like that."
"Oh, right. Yeah, that's normal. They do that before almost every ball. You're lucky he's not taking you. At least with the ball there's music and dancing. The pre-ball dinner is horrifically boring. Everyone just trying to out-brag each other."
I was suddenly very relieved I wasn't going.
"Well you know what that means? More time for us to play around with hairstyles for tomorrow! And I can teach you some of our dances!"
Emalina and I spent the rest of the day joking around and dancing. She showed me a bunch of dances popular in Peria, and I tried to teach her a couple of dances from Eir. My aunt and I would dance occasionally just to try to keep our culture alive, which was fortunate because otherwise there was no way I would have remembered them.
We had dinner together, and then Emalina finally let me go to the library. Reading helped calm my nerves about tomorrow. Emalina worked on her embroidery in the corner.
"We should probably get to bed," she told me after a few hours. "You have a long day ahead of you."
Emalina walked me to my room and wished me goodnight. I changed into my nightgown and crawled into bed. I wasn't fully prepared for what tomorrow would bring. But while that uncertainty would have made me uncomfortable in the past, this time I was still looking forward to it. I tossed and turned full of adrenaline until I finally fell asleep.