When we heard a knock on the door, Carver got up and opened it. I heard him tell the person I was in the bedroom and looked up as Daryl came into the doorway. "You alright?" I gave him a small nod, "I think so." He came and sat down beside me, "I'm sorry." I looked at him, "it wasn't your fault."
Daryl put his arm around me, "I hope your dad isn't looking down at us." I bit my lip, "so you don't think he's still alive?" He shrugged, "I don't think he would've left you, he would've found a way back to you, and Judith." I looked up, "I hope he can't see us either." Daryl shook his head, "he begged me to make sure you guys would be alright, if anything ever happened to him. With Judith that's so easy, but with you.... I'm trying. Believe me, I hate seeing you hurt, I want to take all your pain and put it on myself. I'm trying to say I'm sorry, I've let you down time after time. I never stop thinking about it either, because believe me Leah you are the one person I really believe is gonna beat this world. Right from the beginning when you were stealing knives from my bike and running off into the forest, thinking you needed to protect the group. I want you to really believe me when I tell you I'm sorry. It was my job to protect you, and I've done a shit job."
I took a moment to really hear what he was trying to say. "I know what it's like to blame yourself for things out of your control. But with me you don't have too. I know what you think is your fault, and you couldn't be more wrong. I'm being serious, you haven't done a shit job because I would put my life in your hands and not be even slightly worried. I trust you more than any other person in this world." He gave me a small smile, "I'm sorry, for the boy, for leaving you after, for the cave and for this and everything else." I nodded, "me too. But none of it was your fault." He sighed, "it's hard not to feel that way." I bit my lip, "I know." He pushed himself off of the bed, "I want you to know I really hate Carver, but I'm happy for you." I met his eyes, "Daryl we can't stay here forever." He nodded, "I know." I then smiled, "how did you know I stole your knives back at the farm?" He shrugged, "I didn't let you too far out of my sight, you were a fearless, but stupid kid always taking off on your own." I smiled again, "thank you."
I heard the door close after Daryl and then tried to sit myself up. I used the wall for support walking into the main room, I then got into the bathroom and stopped at the mirror staring at my face. Slowly I lifted my arms pulling off my sweater and unclamping my bra. I ran my fingers along the bruises covering my face, and the old scars. I've had stitches more times then I could count and it showed. I turned my body slightly lifting my arm up to show saviours. I then looked at my back where the x scar was permanently indented in my back. I forced myself to look at my face once again tipping my chin up slightly so my neck was fully exposed. The cut where Morales had ran his knife against my throat was there, and I pushed my finger into it, wanting it to disappear.
"What are you doing?" Carver whispered. I jumped slightly, using my arms to cover my chest. "I didn't think you were here. He came closer to me not saying anything. I watched as he came and stood behind me trailing his fingers over the x on my back then slowly making his way up to my neck. "You're supposed to be in bed." I met his eyes through the mirror letting my head fall back onto his shoulder. He put his hand over top of the bruise on my stomach from where the guard had kicked me. "Why are you looking at all this?" He asked. I turned around to face him, "why did the living ever start killing the living?" He met my eyes but he didn't say anything. I gave him an annoyed nod making my way back to the bedroom.
He didn't follow me though, I heard him out in the kitchen, it sounded like he was cooking. "Leah," He called a few minutes later. "Yes?" I sighed pulling myself off the bed again. "Dinner." I sat down at the table across from him as he put another bowl of stew in front of me. "Don't act as if it's my fault that people kill people." I rolled my eyes, "you kill people who did literally nothing to you. That is your fault." He shrugged, "I just do what I'm told, and I am being told to kill them."
I pushed my bowl away, "so if Pope told you to kill me, you'd just do it, no problem. Hey Leah thanks for the sex, but I gotta put a bullet through your brain. See ya." He scoffed, "that's not the same." I looked down, "yes it is, you tortured me pretty easily earlier." He pulled his chair beside me, "no one is going to kill you, eat, or I'll put the spoon in your mouth for you." I took a few bites, "what's it to you if I eat or not." He sighed, "god you're stubborn." I scoffed, "maybe your fucking stew just sucks." He tried to hold back a smile, "is that the best you can come up with?" I held up my middle finger going back to the bed.
"I don't know what to do here, everything I'm doing is pissing you off." He said following me. I shook my head, "it's pissing me off that you don't seem to understand whats wrong with killing people so effortlessly." He raised his eyebrow, "I didn't kill you." I glared at him, "you fucking wanted to." He nodded, "I'm sorry, but I protect my family first." I pushed him back into the wall and started to hit him. He let me for a minute, but it must have actually started to hurt him because he caught my arms holding them up. "What is going on?" I shook my head not knowing how to explain what was making me so angry.
He dropped my arms and I expected him to push me away from him, but he didn't, he pulled me into his shoulder and I closed my eyes raising my arms and holding onto him. "You're not telling me something Leah, if you want me to help you, you need to tell me the truth." I bit my lip enjoying the warmth coming off from him. "I'm not hiding anything." He pulled away keeping his face only inches from mine. "Alright."