"Look at me, please... just open your eyes and look at me once."
I felt raindrops that over landed heavily on my face, making me squint my already closed eyes. "Please..." I heard a muffled voice again.
I attempted to lift my eyelids, but they felt like they were sealed shut not daring to open up as much as I wanted to unfold my milieux, they remain closed.
With my glued eyelids, I felt some more drops descending on my face and sharp pain piercing in my heart.
That stinging sensation felt like a dagger was put into my heart, and now it's been taken out to stimulate more pain.
My chest felt heavier like I drank only water instead of eating something for dinner.
"Please, Goddammit! Please!!" I heard muted cries again just above my head.
It was Vian's voice. I could hear him weeping in pain. I had to stop him. For that, I opened my mouth to speak, but no voice came out, just a dry cacophonous esthesis.
"Arghhhh!" He shouted and averred something to himself, which felt like he was cussing at someone, making me believe that even if my sensory receptors were falling apart, my ears were still working fine.
One of the raindrops fell on my lips. It was as heavy as gelatin. I pressed my lips together with the full force I had, and my taste buds enlightened. The warm liquid rolled inside my mouth slowly and tardily, that I was losing my forbearance.
I was right, it was not mere raindrops. But I was wrong too, it was not gelatin as well. Because it was... blood.
I let out a shaky dulled breathe, and likewise, at the very moment, I opened my eyes, just enough for me to take a glance of my surroundings.
My whole body ached and was drenched in that thick liquid, I suppose, was blood. To my contrary state, I was serene.
Just as I took a glimpse, my eyes first landed on one individual, on whose thighs, my head was resting. Vian's head was focused down towards my face, but he didn't see me opening my eyes, because he had willingly sealed them shut.
His dampish hair was falling towards me and streaks of blood flowed easy, dripping the fluid on my face after every one or two seconds.
Was he hurt? I tried to get a clear view of his face, his dampened corner of the eyes was exhibiting with slight wrinkles. How vulnerable I felt, seeing him this close to me yet so far away.
His eyebrows were knitted together where his forehead was masked with sweat, with streaks of blood dropping like tears on his face.
His forehead vein was popping like it could explode any minute. I shuddered as he clenched his jaw and tightened his grip on my tender body, making me mewl in pain that I let out a soft whine.
This time he heard my cry and opened his eyes, flapping them without pause. He snivelled shakily and held my hand in his. "I'm sorry..." he whisper sobbed into my hand and kissed my forehead gratingly.
I wanted to hold his hand, but once he let it go, my hand dropped dead on the floor. I was not able to move it.
He cautiously took my head in his hands and framed it softly on the cushion. Straight off, I desired the warmth I was acquiring being in his embrace before he let go of me.
"Don't... go..." I breathed the words out shakily.
"I'm sorry..." he softly uttered and let go of my body fully. I turned my head towards his walking figure, who was leaving me... for good?
"Plea--" before I could complete the sentence, my eyes blurred, and my paralyzed body couldn't stop him.
I wanted to shout for his name, but he was out of my sight. He was gone.
A loud thud echoed in my ears.
"Oh no! What happened? Are you okay?" I heard a deep, alluring voice.
"Ouch!" I shouted.
I took in the view of my surroundings emergently. And saw Vian rushing towards the bed from the couch. He looked so tall all of a sudden.
Because you fell on the ground.
I looked around myself and found myself rolled onto the solid ground from the bed.
"Vian!" I looked at him approaching me.
"Are you hurt?" He asked in a subdued voice and helped me get up.
Do I look okay?
"Yeah, just my-"
Ass? Bahaha
"My back," I said, and sat on the bed while he went into the kitchen to bring water.
I recalled the dream I witnessed and unknowingly a tear rolls down and fell on my hand from my left eye.
He came back and as soon as I saw him walking back towards me like he had left me and came back, I stood up, ignoring my back pain, and hugged him tightly.
My hands were holding his broad shoulders from the back, and I sobbed into his chest.
"Hey, hey, hey! What happened?" He asked, caressing his hand on my hair till it reached my back. I cried more, tightening my grip around him.
What was this feeling? I just knew one thing, that I didn't want to let him go.
He swiftly dragged his body along with mine to the bed and made us sit. "Jo?" He whispered in my ear.
"I can't see you crying... you know that, right?" He whispered again.
"Why?.. What is it that's so immensely overwhelming me?" I verbalized into his chest.
"My embrace?" He uttered smirkingly.
Just as I heard his words I moved back from him and gave light punches on his shoulder and let out a small smile whiffing the air.
"You know when's the best you smile?" He asked, looking at me deeply in a sincere tone.
"When?" I asked, sniffing my running nose, which could anytime be the cause of my embarrassment.
"When you look and smile at me," he remarked, and connected our foreheads.
"That was so cheesy of you, but I will give you a point for this," I nervously chuckled.
I opined he would laugh off at my response, but when I lifted my gaze towards him, I found him already gaping at me.
He put the glass of water on the side table without interrupting our eye contact and kept his forehead pressed against mine.
There, in the night where the sound of crickets were resounding, I was too hypnotized with the sound of him breathing against my lips.
He leaned in closer slowly covering my left profile which could be seen under the effect of the moonlight approaching in bits from the small window and grazed his lips at the top of mine but backed away a little.
"I- I..." he shuddered, his eyes glued to my lips. My heart hadn't learned to stay calm even after so many experiences. It was beating like one beat in anxiousness, with the contrary thumping of foot on the ground in nervousness.
He pressed his nose on mine, holding my face in his big veiny hands, his thumb caressing my cheeks in a cyclic motion, making it hard for me not to let out a moan.
I moved my hands slowly and kept them on his shoulders, sliding them at the back of his neck, my fingers started to play with his hair falling behind his ears.
"I love you, Jo," he let out and tightened his eyebrows, making a frown on his face that he was not ready to hear my response.
A tear escaped from my right eye, knowing the pain and fear he has embedded deeply in his heart. And I wanted him to share his pain with me.
"Why...?"
"In the era of changing priorities, I found my true happiness, my reason to live in... you."
"You make me want to become the moon in your life when zenith stars were couped in line."
"My life is a mess, the only harmony is you."
"I want to be that poet whose poems give reference of you. I want to be remembered as your love."
"Can you love me back?" He whisper asked after a couple of seconds of silence which felt like years have passed by.
I couldn't help but let my tears fall at what pace they wanted. I closed my eyes because I couldn't hold eye contact for long after what his eyes were pleading and seeking in mine.
"You're crying..." he whispered again deeply, his voice cracked at the end.
Finally, I decided to speak, "it's okay to cry," I breathed and moved my body towards him and slid my face to his right cheek and kissed his temple, and reached his ear.
"I- I can't..." I whisper cried in his ear, a whistling sound emerging at the end, with my teardrops moisturizing his shoulder.
He dropped his hands from my face as soon as he heard those words and was about to break the hug when I tightened my grip on his back, pleading him to stay.
His unsteady, rhythmic breathing shot bubbles of pain to my heart.
"As you said, I won't apologize for who I'm or what I feel, but I swear, I didn't mean to hurt you..." he said lowly, resting his chin on my shoulder.
"Vian... please..." I sobbed again and felt dewy beads dripping on my shoulder. I could perceive he was trying so hard not to sob or whimper.
Likewise, I broke the hug to look into his bloodshot eyes, where mine were not different. "I can't love you back, Vian. Because I'm already in love with you..." I spoke rather mouthed because my voice didn't want to come out as my throat felt swollen.
He lifted his eyes, "Wh-hhat?" He exhaled sharply like he never imagined I would say those words, to which I let out a small chuckle.
I cupped his cheeks again, I don't know why we were crying on the top of our lungs, but it felt like I was sending all the bad vibes outside while crying.
He grabbed me by my shoulders and looked into my eyes once again to assess if I wasn't joking, and as soon as he got the answer he desired, he let me in his embrace tightly.
"Will you promise to stay forever?" I asked because of that uncanny feeling of that dream freshly staged in front of my closed eyes.
"I give you, my soul promise."
He started giving butterfly kisses all over my face and with each kiss, he mouthed an "I love you" to which I couldn't help but giggle because he was tickling me and making me crimson with every touch.
Kissing my chin, he went for my lips but stopped abruptly, his eyes glued on mine asking for permission.
I closed my eyes as I drowned in his love, his passionate kiss which was not soft like before but rough. I pulled back to catch my breath after some time, and connected our foreheads again.
I couldn't help but smile where his face lacked expressions, his eyes never leaving mine.
"I want to tell you everything..." he whispered and glanced at my eyes again from in between his curly brown bangs falling near his eyes, that I could see my flustered reflection in them.
"I want to tell you something, too," I said, to which he nodded.
I picked up my diary from the side table and blushed even before starting to speak.
"What is it?" He asked, seeing my expressions.
"Don't look at me, I'm feeling shy," I said, looking at the diary in my hands.
"Why, what's in there?" A playful smirk roamed on his face, to which I shushed him.
"Okay, okay, my lady," he said and acted like he was dodging my punches when I knew I wasn't throwing them at him.
He leaned forward to my eyes until our noses were touching, and grazed his lips over mine, which caught me off guard, making me stiff on the spot.
He adjusted his face in the crook of my neck and closed his eyes. "I'm not looking at you now, go ahead," he stated, his warm breath falling on my neck making tingles all over my body. Ignoring the situation, I started, "The effectuation-" I stopped in between and cleared my hoarse throat.
"The effectuation you countenance at me,
Hold dear, my heart, my beloved.
I'm in passionate love with thy chromatic eyne,
How buoy soul exist thus supernal?
I opine o'er the sidereal time,
Our eyes got connected,
I fell for thee then and thither.
With you sneaking out to come across,
Gotten me unhinged in thy love,
Though we fight down,
Though, we sought out.
The way thee looked at me,
Begot me profoundly in passion,
With thee...
Vian."
"I don't deserve you, Jo," he remarked after a long comfortable pause and sat straight.
"We deserve each other," I said and gave a small peck on his lips chuckling.
"Now your turn, I'm all ears."
"Come with me," he said and held my hand in his.
"Ouch! My back!" I shouted a little louder as soon as I got up.
"Okay, first we need to make medicine for that," he remarked pointing at my lower back.
"We need to make?"
─•❉᯽❉•─
Thoughts?🦋
TW: Mention of blood and death in the next chapter.