🦋MIA🦋
As I ascend higher into the sky, nestled within the confines of the hot air balloon's sturdy wicker basket, a breathtaking panorama unfolds before me. The world below stretches out like a vibrant tapestry, painted with hues of emerald green, golden fields and meandering rivers that resemble veins of silver. The warm rays of the sun shower my face, infusing my being with a comforting glow. The celestial ball of light illuminates the world beneath me, casting long shadows that dance across the lands, creating a mesmerizing play of light and dark. The wind, a gentle and playful companion, caresses my skin, carrying whispers of distant lands and untold stories. It swirls around me, tickling my senses and tangling my hair. As the hot air balloon glides effortlessly through the atmosphere, I'm suspended in a moment of pure bliss, my heart overflowing with joy, peace and happiness.
The gentle hum of the burner is providing a rhythmic soundtrack, punctuating the silence as it propels the balloon higher into the sky. The feeling of weightlessness and freedom is unlike anything I've ever experienced before. We've been in the hot air balloon for almost an hour now and I'm enjoying every second of it. I even bought myself a camera and brought it with me to capture the magical moments. The lens has become an extension of my vision, allowing me to freeze time and preserve the memories forever. There are other passengers with me too and it's more fun experiencing this together, our laughter and excited chatter filling the basket. Strangers have become friends as we bond over the shared experience of floating above the world, each of us captivated by the beauty surrounding us.
Click after click, I take more pictures with my camera. The time for landing finally comes and it's yet another thrilling moment. The pilot's voice crackles through the intercom guiding us through the necessary preparations to ensure a safe descent. The balloon gradually descends and the earth below begins to take on greater detail. I can see the patchwork quilt of fields, the winding rivers and clusters of trees in the distance. The world seems both vast and intimate at the same time. The pilot gives the signal to prepare for landing and we gather our belongings, securing them tightly as we brace ourselves for impact. The ground draws closer with each passing moment and a rush of adrenaline courses through my veins.
As the basket touches the ground, a jolt runs through my body and a wave of relief washes over me. We've landed safely. The balloon slows to a stop and a collective sigh of satisfaction echoes amongst the passengers. Once out of the balloon, I scream at the top of my voice in excitement and fulfillment, the sound echoing across the open fields and some of the passengers laughing softly at me and even joining in on my mirthful celebration. I've had so much fun in this new experience and it's a beautiful memory I'll always hold on to. Little random things can bring alot of joy.
I make sure to eagerly snap lots of pictures with the other passengers before leaving the site and heading to the road, hailing a passing taxi. I wasn't in the mood to drive today so I decided to take a taxi. As it makes its way through the bustling streets, I spot a quaint little café on the corner and without hesitation, I ask the driver to make a quick stop. Stepping out into the sunshine, I enter the café, a delightful aroma of coffee and pastries greeting me. The menu displays a tantalizing array of options but my eyes are immediately drawn to a vibrant image of a strawberry frappuccino. I place my order, eagerly anticipating the sweet, refreshing taste that awaits me.
With the frappuccino in hand, I continue my journey, savouring each sip as the cool sweetness dances on my tastebuds. The creamy texture and burst of strawberry flavour is creating a delightful symphony of sensations. The music club is holding a meeting today and it's commencing in the next thirty minutes so I get back in the taxi, making my way back to campus. On arrival, the music club meeting room comes into view and I quicken my pace, stepping inside and finding fellow club members gathering, their instruments in hand. I'm ready to immerse myself in the world of music.
We greet one another and I sit down on one of the wooden benches listening to the members already singing, more members pouring in and filling the empty spaces, finding their own place to sit or stand. Each note of the songs the members rehearsing are singing carry with it a depth of emotion that echoes through the space, inviting all who are listening to be a part of the collective experience. The lyrics, filled with meaning and purpose resonate deep within our souls evoking a sense of unity and belonging. We're diverse individuals here, representing various ages, backgrounds and walks of life, all drawn together by the common desire to connect, share and be heard.
"You should go and sing." One of the members sitting right next to me voices out.
"I don't think that's a good idea." I quickly decline, my palms growing sweaty and my throat tightening at the thought.
"Just take a deep breath and zone out everyone. Make it only about you and the song." She smiles warmly at me, more members also encouraging me to go and sing. They believe in me even more than I believe in myself.
"Mia we believe in you. Just do it, you're going to be great. Trust me." Jake, the president of the club assures me this time. Their encouraging words and warm smiles are giving me a glimmer of hope and a boost of confidence I haven't felt before.
Finally mustering the courage to stand up, I walk towards the stage, the sound of my own heartbeat filling my ears. My palms grow sweaty as the bright lights come to life, the spotlight shining down on me. Butterflies are now bouncing off the walls in my stomach, my knees growing weaker as I watch the members who are now the audience. I can already feel the weight of their expectations on my shoulders and I know I can't let them down. This is my moment to shine, to step out of my comfort zone and prove to myself that I can do it.
I pick one of the microphones in the pile, informing the band of the song I want to sing. And so I close my eyes, shutting out the world around me and focusing sorely on the song I'm about to sing. Take a deep breath and believe in yourself.
I can do this.
"I can do this." I whisper to myself over and over again as the band starts playing. Standing at the edge of the stage, the vibrant lights cast their colourful glow on me. The audience's eager murmurs blend into a low hum, creating an electric atmosphere that pulses through my veins. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest, the rhythm matching the beat of the music that's resonating through the amplifiers. As the band strikes the first chord, the sound echoes through the room, engulfing me in a wall of sound that resonates deep within my core. The melody weaves its way through the air, intertwining with the audience's anticipation. The pulsating rhythm wraps around me like an invisible embrace, urging me forward.
You can do this.
You promised the world and I fell for it
I put you first and you adored it
Set fires to my forest
And you let it burn
Sang off-key in my chorus
'Cause it wasn't yours
As I begin to sing, my voice intertwines with the beats, each carrying the weight of my emotions. The lyrics spill forth, a reflection of my deepest thoughts and desires. Each note rings true, every phrase delivered with conviction. I pour my heart and soul into each word, embracing vulnerability and allowing the song to carry me forward. Once again a familiar yet unfamiliar feeling washes over my body and heart deep down to my soul because of singing after a long time, everything harmonious. The first time I sang after so many years was at the music talent show because of Lucas. If he didn't point at me that night, I wouldn't have done it. Now here I am, doing it again.
As the notes escape my lips and fill the space around me, I feel liberated, as if the chains that bound my voice have finally been broken. Each word, every inflection, resonates with a depth that only comes from the heart. The echoes of my voice bounces off the walls, intertwining with the beats of the band. In this moment, it's only me and the music, as if time itself has frozen to listen.
We'd always go into it blindly
I needed to lose you to find me
This dancing was killing me softly
I needed to hate you to love me.
I needed to hate you to love me. I needed to lose you to love me.
Memories flood back as I recall the countless songs I used to sing. Today, I'm breaking free and rekindling the flame that once burned brightly within me. With each verse, my voice grows stronger and more confident. The words flow effortlessly, carrying with them the emotions I thought I'd lost forgotten. It's a bittersweet reminder of the beauty and power of music and the role it plays in our lives.
And now the chapter is closed and done.
I sing harmoniously with everybody in the room singing along. As the final note hangs in the air, the silence that follows is different. It's a moment of reverence for me. The room seems to hold its breath, touched by the vulnerability and resilience of my performance. And in this moment I know deep within me that I'll never let my love for singing fade away again.
Singing lifts up my spirits and fills my heart with joy.
It gives me peace.
The audience's applause erupts like thunder, washing over me in a tidal wave of appreciation. A smile tugs at the corners of my lips, my heart filled with happiness. I have conquered the stage, embraced my passion and shared a piece of my soul with those who have listened. "I dit it," I whisper to myself, a quiet affirmation amidst the lingering echoes of applause. As I step off the stage, a new fire burns deep within me. This is it, where I belong.
♧♧♧♧♧♧♧
Something I never look forward to is shopping with Tommy and Vin. From the moment we walk through the doors of the store, I can already sense the impending chaos that's about to unfold. They're always making endless stupid corny jokes that are mind numbing, cracking jokes at every turn through the aisles, buying the most unnecessary and bizarre items we don't need and messing up everything. It's like shopping with overgrown toddlers.
"I need to shave." Vin says and Tommy scoffs next to us. The jokes are about to start.
"Shave what, I don't see a stubble on your face."
I pick more toiletries as they continue arguing about shaving while carelessly bumping into other shoppers. These two idiots have no idea what personal space means.
"We men have a lot of parts to shave on our bodies," Vin explains to Tommy who is listening carefully like it's the most important topic in the world. "Like our balls." He adds and I roll my eyes moving away from them as they burst out laughing, drawing attention from everyone around us. All I can do is cringe in embarrassment as we become the centre of unwanted attention. Whenever I'm with these two, I'm always caught in a never ending cycle of embarrassment and frustration.
They follow me, picking more shampoos and shower gels, throwing them in the cart. "I'll need my own shower gel when I come over to your apartment." Tommy points at all the shower gels he has thrown inside.
"You're paying for everything, I forgot my black card in the penthouse." Vin states not surprising me because this is what he and Tommy always do. They leave their cards behind intentionally just so they don't spend a dime and use my money instead.
"Most of the items in this cart are what you and Tommy have picked." I heave a heavy sigh, glancing at the both of them tiredly.
"Do this for your little loving brother, I didn't carry my card too." Tommy wraps his arms around me in a warm embrace before making his way back to the clothes section to pick more clothes that have caught his eye. "Vin come check out this jacket." He holds out a grey jacket to Vin who joins him, taking the jacket and examining it closely, his hands running along the smooth texture. Then he holds out the jacket, helping Tommy slip it on and they both stand infront of the huge mirror, trying to decide if it's a perfect addition to Tommy's wardrobe.
"It's baggy on you, huge actually. You look like an old disheveled man in it." Vin comments and they both laugh heartily picking another jacket, a smaller one this time that fits Tommy perfectly. A smile spreads on Tommy's face, showing his approval for the jacket.
Noticing that they both like the same jacket an idea sparks in my mind, something they've done many times since they're always out shopping for clothes together. "You guys can just get matching jackets, each of your favourite colour since you both love it. A red and green one, your favourite colours. Hurry up so we can leave this place." Tommy's favourite colour is green and Vin's red.
Tommy's favourite colour has always been green. It's not just a colour to him but an embodiment of his personality and reflection of his inner world. His wardrobe is a testament to his love for the colour as he often dons emerald sweaters, forest green shirts and moss coloured accessories. His eyes always light up when he discovers a new garment in the perfect shade of green and takes great pleasure in coordinating his outfits to incorporate this cherished colour. His personality also mirrors attributes related to green. Tommy is a calm person who radiates a comforting presence to those around him. He's always ready to listen and offer support.
Vin's favourite colour is red. From the moment you meet him, it becomes evident that the colour red is not just preference for him but a defining aspect of his personality as well. Physically, Vin carries himself with an air of confidence and energy that mirrors the intensity of the colour he adores. Standing at 6"1' tall, his well toned physique exudes vitality and strength, reflecting his passionate nature. His piercing gaze, framed by a pair of deep brown eyes radiates a warmth and determination that draws people towards him. His fashion choices are also a testament to his love for red. His wardrobe is an eclectic mix of shades ranging from rich crimson to fiery scarlet. Whether it's a tailored suit, a casual tshirt or even a pair of socks, red finds a way to make an appearance in his attire. The boldness of his style mirrors his vibrant personality, leaving an impression on all those he encounters.
Tommy picks two matching jackets, red and green throwing them inside the cart. Picking them up I check the price tag already knowing that I'm the one paying for them. "One jacket is a hundred and fifty dollars. That means three hundred for two, so expensive."
"That's not expensive, you can literally buy this whole store right this minute if you want to." He states making me roll my eyes. Just because you have money doesn't mean you should be spendthrift. Planning wisely, investing and saving is better.
"I only need a tshirt." Vin throws a black tshirt inside the cart and I pick it checking the price tag too. It's three hundred and fifty dollars. I'll end up broke because of these two idiots.
I let Tommy and Vin pick all the clothes they want and by the time we reach the checkout counter, the items we've picked are scattered all over the cart and jumbled together, some even damaged from their careless handling. The cashier gives us a weary look, clearly having witnessed their antics before. "I'm sorry for the mess." I can't help but apologize on behalf of the two idiots next to me. Shopping with them always feels like being stuck with overgrown toddlers in a candy store. I pay for everything with my black card and they carry the heavy shopping bags to the car, putting them in the trunk. "I'm starving, let's go get something to eat." Vin breathes out in exhaustion next to me.
"You're right, I'm thirsty as hell too." Tommy mutters and Vin glances at him only to burst out laughing again. Their jokes are so corny and predictable that it's numbing my brain. Next time I won't let them accompany me to the store.
"You did not just say that, idiot." Vin pushes him away, opening the door to the backseat and getting in the car. Tommy shuts the door for him before sliding in the passenger seat and I drive straight to the apartment not stopping by any restaurant to buy food. I'm planning on cooking tonight. They put the shopping away once we arrive. It's the least they can do after making me spend so much money on them.
"I am not used to doing things like this." Tommy throws the bag of chips inside the cabinets in frustration. "We have maids for this."
A loud irritating voice pierces through room, the atmosphere instantly tensing up and we glance up the stairs. Lila, with her phone tightly gripped in her hand, descends the stairs. She's leaving tonight with Tommy and I can't wait for them to be gone. All they've been doing since they came over last night is fight, complain and fight. It's annoying, exhausting and draining to have them in the same room together. It's always endless arguments after arguments.
"Dad, I said I don't want it. It's ugly and I hate it!" Lila shouts on the phone before hanging up. "My dad never listens." She hugs Tommy holding his hand. "I asked him to send me money so I can buy a new car but instead, he went ahead and bought one for me himself and I hate it."
"You can atleast appreciate the effort he made." Vin says to her.
"I don't remember asking for your stupid opinion, idiot!" She shouts to Vin, words dripping from her lips like venomous daggers and her eyes ablaze with fury while locked onto Vin with an intensity that can melt steel. Vin, caught off guard by her sudden outburst, raises his arms in surrender to shield himself from the verbal assault.
With a heavy sigh Tommy lets go of her hand and moves away from her. Lila's anger always burns like a wildfire, consuming everything in its path. "What, I haven't said anything wrong." She rolls her eyes, picking her phone again.
"You're always disrespecting my friends and sister." Tommy leans on the kitchen counter tiredly. They're about to start arguing again.
"You are always taking their side and not mine. I am your girlfriend, atleast have my back."
"Lila this isn't about taking sides. You're constantly disrespecting my friends and sister. All the time." Tommy walks out of the kitchen going upstairs.
"I'm always the bad guy. All the time." Lila throws her hands around dramatically, following him upstairs.
Vin and I stay in the kitchen putting away the remaining shopping. We're never surprised by Tommy and Lila's arguments anymore. We're used to it now and that's the sad part, it's like a norm to them.
Opening the fridge I find everything re arranged, jumbled up and thrown around. Lucas showed me how to arrange everything in the fridge and I already did it so perfectly and neatly but now it's a terrible mess and so untidy. Lila is the only one who was in this apartment alone the whole day. That means she has done all this, intentionally. There are also dirty utensils and cutlery all over the island and sink. Before I left in the morning I made sure to clean everything in here and it was spotlessly tidy.
Lila is getting on my last nerve now. Not in the mood to start another argument with her, I decide to wash the dishes and clean the kitchen again myself, organizing everything in the fridge once again and putting them back in place. Deciding to cook macaroni and cheese for dinner I carefully lay out all the necessary ingredients on the clean and spacious kitchen counter. The first item is a stick of butter, its golden yellow colour glistening in the soft kitchen lighting. Next to the butter, I place a bag of all purpose flour, its smooth, powdery consistency hinting at the magic it'll work when combined with the butter. Flour will be the key to creating a velvety and thick cheese sauce that'll coat every strand of macaroni. After laying out all the ingredients, I turn on the stove setting a pot of water to boil and reaching for my phone, selecting a playlist of my favourite tunes, the melodious sounds filling the kitchen.
Cooking, I've realized, has so many benefits beyond satiating hunger. It's a creative outlet, a form of self expression that allows me to experiment with flavours and techniques. With every dish I cook, my confidence grows as I discover new skills. Cooking is also therapeutic to me, the rhythmic chopping of vegetables and the gentle stirring of ingredients melting away the stress of the day. The process demands my full attention, allowing me to immerse myself in the present moment and find solace in the simplicity of the task at hand.
As the savoury aroma of melted cheese and freshly baked macaroni fills the air, mingling with the faint melody from the music playing in the background, I open the oven door sliding out the steaming food and serving it in four plates in the dining room. Once I'm done I call out to Tommy, Vin and Lila to join me so we can eat together.
We start eating and Lila checks her food before looking at me. "Is it poisoned?" She asks with a smug of satisfaction clearly evident in her face.
Tommy, Vin and I totally ignore her presence as we eat not paying her foolishness and nonsense any attention. "It isn't even that good." She mumbles stuffing her mouth with more food and even serving herself more.
"It's delicious." Tommy smiles at me and Vin nods pushing my shoulder playfully to cheer me up. They don't want me to feel bad about what Lila has said.
I know this food is delicious and I'm proud of myself for cooking it. I know it's not a big deal but I'm still happy about it.
♤♤♤♤♤♤♤
Tommy, Vin and I watch a thrilling season of Elite together, the intensity of the show keeping us captivated and before we know it, the clock strikes midnight signalling the end of our binge watching session. Reluctantly, we decide to call it a night, parting ways to go and sleep. I make my way to the bathroom to shower, the warm water cascading over my body washing away the exhaustion of the day. I brush my teeth, savouring the minty freshness that envelopes my mouth. Stepping out of the shower, droplets of water adorn my skin and soak strands of my hair. I pick two towels carefully wrapping the larger one around my body and cocooning myself in its soft embrace. With the smaller towel, I gently pat dry my hair absorbing the moisture and preventing it from dripping on the floor.
Entering the walk in closet to slip on a pair of pyjamas, the soft carpet massages my feet as I step inside. Rows upon rows of neatly organized clothes, shelves filled with handbags and racks full of shoes await me. However as I push the door open further, I'm taken aback by an unexpected sight. Inside the closet and amidst the sea of fashion stands Lila completely engrossed on her phone and busy recording videos of my clothes, handbags and shoes. Caught off guard by her presence, I remain rooted where I'm standing observing her actions. Lila finally notices my presence and sheepishly puts away her phone, trying to hide her intentions. The room then falls into an awkward silence.
I can't help but wonder why she's documenting my wardrobe without my knowledge and permission. Is she simply fascinated by my fashion sense or does she have ulterior motives?
Breaking the silence, I master a friendly smile and ask, "Lila, what are you doing in here?" Wanting to check her phone, she quickly hides it behind her back. My patience with her is running out.
"So many people still love you even after you decided to quit modelling because you're lazy and unfocused. So I'm giving them a tour of one of your closets. A lot of people have watched it, you should atleast be grateful."
"You're invading my privacy. You didn't even ask for my permission to be in here." I tell her calmly, trying not to lose the little patience I have left for her.
"I don't need to ask for permission from anyone." She flips her hair, crossing her arms dramatically while glaring at me.
"Get the hell out and never enter my room and closet again without my permission. It's wrong and if you do it again I'll throw you out of my house, even if it's in the middle of the night. Get out, right now." I open the door and she scoffs walking out.
Shutting the door, I sit on the chaise lounge sighing heavily.
♤♤♤♤♤♤♤
SONG
♥️LOSE YOU TO LOVE ME - SELENA GOMEZ♥️
Lose you to love me, captures the raw vulnerability and personal growth that comes from the end of a toxic relationship. It holds haunting melodies that carry with it intimacy and authenticity. I chose the song because it delves into the aftermath of Mia's painful breakup and her journey to self discovery and healing. Selena Gomez reflects on the emotional toll of a toxic relationship, expressing her vulnerability and finding self empowerment. Her lyrics bring forth the pain she went through and acknowledges the need for letting go in order to move forward. This is exactly what Mia is going through, all her emotions at the moment.
"I needed to lose you to love me
I needed to lose you to find me
This dancing was killing me softly
I needed to hate you to love me" I included these lines in the chapter because they convey Mia's powerful realization that personal growth requires letting go of unhealthy attachments, even if it means experiencing pain and headache. It shows a theme of self love and importance of prioritizing her own well being.
I think LOSE YOU TO LOVE ME is an impactful and relatable anthem for anyone who has experienced the end of a toxic relationship. It was mine at some point and I'm beyond proud of myself for letting go, moving on and learning to love myself. I'm living my best life now.
AUTHOR'S RANT .
Question of the chapter.
♥️DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT?♥️