For a whole week their dating plan always failed. Kris always has overtime work or projects that are being chased by deadlines.
But he ran into the barmaid on a regular basis. At the same time, but in a different place.
When they met, they didn't talk much. Instead, Kris tends to be silent.
And it was the maid who kept talking to him. Stick with Kris, and of course. Kris paid for her.
ding!
"Where? Can I meet you?”
"No, I'm at work"
"This is Sunday"
"So?"
Kris put down his phone. Even though he felt guilty, he still insisted what he did was right. That this is the right thing. Kris thought about the consequences, but ignored them.
He drank his cold americano in silence when suddenly the woman in front of him stood up and pulled his head up and stole a kiss from his lips.
Kris did not have time to be surprised, because after that he felt his body being pulled and crushed. Almost falling, he rubbed his lips—
“Bastard!!”
Kris looked at Chanyeol who looked at him with a red and watery gaze. But no sobs escaped from his open lips.
Kris looked at the woman who was now standing silently and stared at him deeply, Kris' brows and brows furrowed. He was about to make a sound, but the sound of a heavy, loud slap was heard.
Chanyeol slapped the woman hard then ran outside and cried. Kris looked at the woman with the corners of his bloody lips.
"Hey—
"Go, chase him" said the woman then smiled faintly. “You have to pay for this”
Kris chuckled. "Alright. Send me your account number," he said and then ran after Chanyeol who had already disappeared from his sight.
He got into his car and drove to their apartment. The whole way he was biting his nails. Thinking about the worst that could happen.
Regret, for ignoring the consequences even though he had thought of it from the start.
Kris found the main bedroom door locked. Chanyeol was inside. Crying, the sound of sobbing was clear. Kris felt guilty again.
He knocked on it, but what sounded more and more clear were sobs and refusals. Kris touched his forehead to the door.
Kris hates this kind of relationship. He prefers his old life that is free and pleasant without any feelings that bind his heart.
Loving someone always has consequences. And the biggest consequence is hurting and being hurt.
In this relationship, Kris realized, Kris and Chanyeol hurt each other. Chanyeol who was too kind and gentle, hurt Kris. And Kris who acts like this hurts Chanyeol.
Kris should have stayed in his initial attitude, silent.
Kris shouldn't need to think about making Chanyeol deterrent, because Chanyeol is really a good person. Chanyeol is always gentle.
Kris should have bit his inner cheek harder to endure the pain. Kris should have endured in silence against his jealousy. Kris should have understood Chanyeol better. Kris should have forgiven Chanyeol. Kris, who loves Chanyeol more than his life, should have prioritized Chanyeol's happiness more than his own.
Chanyeol was right when he said that Kris didn't love him that much.
Kris' hands clenched into fists. Feeling guilty for making Chanyeol cry and locking himself in his room.
"Chan-yeol"
There is no answer. Kris held his breath, his heart throbbing in pain. Then he took a deep breath,
"Chanyeol-
“JUST LEAVE!!”
Kris shook his head quickly, No. "I can't. Baby please… you are my life, how can I leave you?”
“I hate you—sob.. you—sob.. why did you lie to me?”
"No. Baby please don't cry…”
"I hate you-
Kris stepped back. Then kicked the door of the room with force. One kick, the bedroom door opened. The lock is broken.
He found Chanyeol sitting with his legs tightly embraced. Cry. Looking so hurt, Kris blamed himself. He is a bastard who can only make Chanyeol cry.
“Baby…”
Kris walked quickly to Chanyeol and hugged him. Chanyeol refused. He hit Kris on the shoulder and pushed him off, but Kris locked him in a tight hug.
"LET ME GO!! Sob.. RELEASE ME!!”
Kris shook his head. He hugged Chanyeol tightly. His longing overflowed. Fifteen days without embracing the star of his heart. His longing swelled. Guilt is still felt, Chanyeol's sobs are still heard even though his voice is slowly softening.
“I feel so weak—sob, I feel weak because of loving you, Sunbae…sob”
Kris put some distance between himself and Chanyeol. Chanyeol looked at Kris' face, looking for his eyes. A pair of hands raised, he rubbed Kris' face.
“I love you, Sunbaenim” he admitted, for the first time he said it directly with his eyes locked with Kris' eyes. Not just through messages, or words of comfort for Kris.
"I love you so much that I feel so weak because of it.. I love you that much, that much" he said. Confessed his feelings with teary eyes. Chris nodded. Chanyeol's hand is still on the left and right of his jaw.
"I love you-
Kris nodded. He rubbed Chanyeol's face and wiped the traces of tears from his face.
"I'm sorry, I was wrong," he said in a soft voice.
"I was wrong for doubting you, I was wrong in thinking to test your love, I was wrong for being jealous of him. I should have believed you, I was wrong—
“Sobs..sobs…”
Kris' eyes widen to find Chanyeol sobbing again. What? Why? Does Chanyeol not want to forgive him?
“Chanyeol, baby, why else? I already admitted my mistake—
"I'm also wrong—sob, because I always make excuses—sob, because of my attitude that makes you doubt me—sob, because I put other people first, sob.. it's natural for you to be angry with me—sob, but I—sob, I don't want to be like this —sob, just seeing you with her makes me sick—sob,”
Kris understands. Even though Chanyeol spoke in disjointed words because of his sobs. He stroked Chanyeol's forehead, brushing his hair away from his beautiful forehead. He remained silent allowing Chanyeol to pour out all his emotions.
"I'm angry and upset but I know that it's my fault that you feel comfortable with her and choose to be with her, canceling promises—sob, even though I also often cancel our promises—sob, I often leave you for other people—sob, you've only replied to me once but I've been sulking like this—sob, I'm sorry—sob, don't leave me—”
Kris covered Chanyeol's lips and grabbed the nape of his neck to kiss him deeper. He bit Chanyeol's lower lip and took a soft sip. Can't understand how he and Chanyeol can be afraid of the same thing.
Kris is afraid that his mistake this time makes Chanyeol not want to be with him. And Chanyeol is also afraid that Kris will leave him because of his fault for not being assertive and being too kind.
Their lips parted. He looked at Chanyeol looking at him with his watery eyes. Kris cracked a smile.
"It's not your fault," he said hoarsely. He was holding back his emotions that were also overflowing ever since.
“Chanyeol, you are my world. You are more than sunshine or oxygen to me. Chanyeol, you are me, I am you. If you cry and are sad, I feel the same way as you.”
Chanyeol looked into the eyes of the man who was staring at him deeply. He started crying again and hugged him tightly. Because only love and affection that emanated from his gaze.
"Don't leave me, forever" he threatened with narrowed eyes.
Kris chuckled, his guilt vanishing because Chanyeol forgave him. His longing was slightly healed because of a hug and a short kiss with his lover.
“Baby, you are my other half. Where else could I go without you, hm?”
Chanyeol looked at the sharp eyes that looked at him deeply. "You see God in me, right?" Chanyeol asked and Kris nodded.
One time, Kris held Chanyeol's hand and said a sentence that made Chanyeol froze and fell silent.
'I see God in you'
Chanyeol called Kris crazy, but Kris actually laughed and held Chanyeol's hand tightly.
But Chanyeol then knew the meaning of the sentence. 'I see God in you' implies how Kris loves him not because of his looks, wealth, or anything else about him. Kris loved him as he loved his God.
With simple love, selfless love. A love that will always be there no matter what. Happy, sad, difficult, easy, rich, poor, healthy or sick.
Love that will always be there even though Chanyeol's originally beautiful face then disappears. Love that creates patience, and sincerity.
When Chanyeol first heard Kris' explanation, that night, he cried and hugged Kris tightly. Being loved so deeply by Kris is the happiness in his life.
“That's why I can't live without you, baby… You are more than everything to me”
Chanyeol chuckled and hugged Kris tighter. "If we separate and you live happily without me, I will kill you" he threatened. Kris smiled faintly.
“Believe me if it were without you, my world would collapse. And if you find I look fine without you, believe me what you meet isn't me."
"Hmm?"
"Because I died the day you decided to leave me"
◕◕
Sehun raised his little hand to wipe his father's wet eyelids. Kris looked at his son for a moment he closed his eyes.
"Papa?"
"Yes?"
"What about after that?"
"We made up. Papa explained that the woman worked with papa. And papa gave my cell phone so Chanyeol read all papa's messages with that woman"
Sehun nodded in understanding. "Papa, Hunnie thought of one thing" he said.
"What?"
“If you love him that much, how can— how can you be here without him?”
Kris looked at Sehun then smiled faintly. “Hm… Papa doesn't understand how, but what is clear… Maybe that day, Papa reached a point where I was tired of everything and decided to leave?”
Sehun held his father's index finger. “You see God in him, but how have you survived this long without seeing him?”
The wind blew through the open window. Kris smiled slightly and ruffled Sehun's hair.
"Why are you so smart?"
"Because I'm Sehun." He said proudly. Kris bit the inside of his cheek.
Chanyeol is right about the meaning of the name Sehun. Because Sehun grew up like the shadow Chanyeol pictured before.
'The person who has the name Sehun, is a smart, ambitious person and loves to read. Sehun's name is the name of a smart kid!!'
Kris laughed softly. Sehun looked at him confused. Kris' mind now confirmed what Luna had said to him.
"Maybe Sehun is the thread that will bring you two together again."
However, rather than feeling that Sehun is a common thread that will bring Kris and Chanyeol back together, Kris feels that Sehun is a gift that God gave him. A small replica of Chanyeol and himself. 'Cause how came?
Sehun was not his son and Chanyeol, but Kris always felt Sehun was similar to Chanyeol.
Maybe it's because the name attached to Sehun is Chanyeol's name. But still, Kris still feels that God created a little Chanyeol in Sehun.
Kris rubbed his son's head. He smiled, handed the phone to Sehun.
"Call Tao's uncle, tell him to book a flight ticket to Korea"
Sehun's eyes widen. “ARE YOU SERIOUS?!!!!” he screamed with her eyes staring at Kris in disbelief.
"Yes—
“OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. I LOVE YOU SO MUUUCCCHHH!!”
Sehun stood up and kissed his father on the cheek then got off the bed and dialed Tao's number quickly.
Kris laughed seeing how Sehun smiled cheerfully and shouted on the phone telling Tao to hurry up to buy a flight ticket to Seoul.
Then his head turned out the window. The wind blows calmly. Kris smiled faintly.
'I miss you babe...'
"Papa!!"
Kris turned and Sehun jumped with joy. “Uncle TAO SAYS THE FLIGHT IS THREE HOURS ONLY!!!”
"Don't scream, you'll catch your breath"
As if remembering that he now has to take care of his lungs, Sehun immediately shuts his mouth. Oh, don't let it go away again.
"First to get there, Hunnie wants to play at Suho ahjushi's house"
"Huh? Why?"
"Hehe.. Jongin said he has something at home"
Kris looked at Sehun sharply. "Since when were you and Jongin close?"
"Ah.. uncle Tao often lends his cellphone to call Suho appa, and Sehun chats with Jongin"
Kris massaged his temples. "You're five years old right?" he asked. Because in a flash there was a feeling that Sehun would be stolen by Jongin.
"Yes"
“Good”
"Why?"
"No, just asking”
"But you know what? Jongin is so cute. Let Hunnie tell—
"No, thanks. Papa doesn't want to know."
"Huh! Why?! Listen up, that Jongin—
Kris covered his ears. "Blablablablabla" he said making Sehun annoyed and pinched Kris' waist with his small hands.
"I hate you!" said Sehun annoyed. Kris laughed. Even though there has not been half an hour of speech. I LOVE YOU SO MUUUCCCHHH!! that Sehun shouted earlier.
“Tsundere!”
"Tsu? What?"
"SEC-RET!"
“AAARGGHH!! PAPA YOU'RE ANNOYING!!!"