a few weeks later, a special assembly was held in nct high school, the reason being unknown to most of the students.
"hey, have any of you seen mark-hyung? i can't find him anywhere." said jeno as he walked up to his friend group, looking around to find their oldest but he was nowhere to be found.
"nope, i haven't seen him anywhere. do you know what the assembly is about? it's so sudden." replied donghyuck.
jeno shook his head, "i don't know either. i thought mark-hyung would know but i can't find him anywhere. i guess now we'll just wait."
"jaem, where's eunha?" asked seolhyun as eunha was also missing from the group.
"she moved in with her brother yesterday and their house is quite a distance. i guess they left home late." replied jaemin, checking his text messages again only to see the last text she sent was 'i'll see you in school!'
"but seriously, youngho-hyung is something else. he's so..."
"peculiar," said all of them together. they laughed together after realizing all of them thought of him the same way.
over the past few weeks, eunha has been catching up with her long lost brother. that also includes random hangouts of the dreamies with youngho.
"i call him johnny-hyung more often cause that name just fits him, for some reason." jaemin said. jeno nodded, agreeing with him. they continued conversing, their topic mainly surrounding eunha and johnny. that was until she arrived, almost breathless after rushing to arrive on time.
"hello, what time did you leave home?" asked jaemin to the girl standing next to him.
eunha was busy catching her breath before she replied, "definitely wasn't the right time. johnny-oppa drives slow and i kept leaving stuffs at home so i went in and out of the car a few times before we actually went on our way. why do we have an assembly today, by the way?"
"not sure. i can't find mark-hyung so i guess we'll just have to see." jeno answered. just then, the principal walked up to the stage, miss kim and mark following closely.
"oh, there he is." said chenle. the dreamies sat down on the arranged chairs in the hall, knowing that the assembly was about to start.
the principal went up to the podium in an instant, turning on the microphone and lightly hitting on it for a few times to test the volume. all the student understood and proceeded to take their seats.
"good morning, everyone. thank you for coming to today's assembly despite the late announcement. i have two matters to speak of but i'll try to make this quick. first and foremost, i'd like to apologize for the accidents that happened in neo culture technology high school over the past few months. it was very heartbreaking to find out that my daughter has been abusing some of the students. on top of that, none of the complaints ever reached me due to my wife's doing. i am truly sorry for all the victims. both of them, as well as some students who were involved in her bullying and my assistant has been arrested and are now serving their time in jail. secondly, i'd like to announce my resignation from my position. i believe that this is the right decision for me. today will be my last day as the principal of nct high school and i sincerely apologize for all my shortcomings throughout the years. it has been a pleasure to lead the school, but i will now pass the responsibility to the new acting principal of nct high school, miss kim."
his announcement wasn't one to make the students cheer, it was rather a sad news for all of them. everyone cherished him as the principal. it was only unfortunate that his family were the ones causing pain to the students. perhaps, he's carrying most of the guilt.
the next announcement left the students shocked.
"good morning, everyone. this is mark lee of fourth year and the president of student council. i apologize to surprise everyone with this shocking news. however, i have decided to step down from my position as the president of student council. i believe most of you understand why this is coming from me. i carry a heavy guilt in me for everything that happened in nct high school over the past few months. i may not be directly involved with the accidents, but i believe none of this would happen if it wasn't for me. i apologize for hurting those who were hurt, and i apologize for causing inconveniences. from today onwards, lee jeno of third year will be the acting president of student council. once again, i apologize for making this decision."
"hyung..." muttered jisung, speechless of the announcement he just heard, coming from his hyung himself.
"it's such a mark-hyung thing to do, but he didn't have to." muttered donghyuck.
it was the end of the assembly and mark immediately walked to his friends with a heavy heart.
"hyung, you didn't even tell us." said donghyuck. although his tone was sulky, his hands pulled mark into a hug which then became a group hug as all of them joined in.
"cause i know if i told you, all of you would stop me." replied mark, his voice drowning as he was the centre of the hug.
jeno sighed, "but you could've told me, at least. you can't just shock me with the news like that."
mark laughed, "sorry about that man. i really just dumped the responsibility on you. but to be fair, i did ask your opinion. whether you think you'd be okay with handling the council stuffs or no."
"yeah but that was a question... it wasn't like an information, you know."
"we shouldn't keep secrets from each other. we're best friends. best friends don't keep secrets." said chenle as they all backed away from the hug.
"yeah that's right!" said jisung. eunha's eyes landed jaemin's before it landed on mark's, the three exchanging awkward glances as they nodded at chenle's words.
weiyun who noticed their awkward body language then spoke up, "alright. what is it? what secrets do the three of you keep? why were you glancing at each other like that?"
"chill, it's not a big secret. care to share the news, eunha?" mark said.
"well. i agreed to do the podcast with mark. we're doing it later." shared eunha.
all of them knew what she was talking about - DEstigma podcast. it was a podcast started by mark and jinhye where they debunk different heavily stigmatized mental disorders. it would be the first time mark is doing it since the last time he did it with jinhye.
•
•
•
"alright, are you two ready?" asked mark as he raised his seat slightly so that he will be speaking directly to the microphone.
eunha and jaemin, who were sitting not far from him both nodded their head after heaving a deep exhale.
"alright, we'll be going on air in 5... 4..."
"just do it like how you usually do when we practice." whispered jaemin to eunha, finishing his sentence just in time mark finished his countdown.
mark:
hello, everyone.
this isn't student council mark speaking.
it's DEstigma with mark.
mark breathed out a deep sigh, introducing himself as 'DEstigma with mark' reminded him of the first time he said it, with jinhye sitting right next to him.
mark:
yes, it's been awhile, everyone.
the last time i did this, i was doing the show with na jinhye.
we were debunking the stigma around anti-social personality disorder.
even then, jinhye said that she only wants to do one more show.
she even scripted everything for the last session already.
so here we are today.
thankfully, it doesn't feel as lonely right now.
because i have two special guests with me.
eunha:
hello, everyone.
this is seo eunha from the third year.
jaemin:
and this is na jaemin from the third year.
eunha:
please look after us, mark.
mark:
yes, of course.
so today's topic was planned and written
by na jinhye.
jaemin, care to tell us about our topic today?
jaemin:
yes, my pleasure.
for today's session, we will be debunking the stigmas around dissociative identity disorder, most often called DID in short.
as an introduction, DID is a psychiatric diagnosis where the patient shows at least two individual identities and these identities occasionally take control of the individual's behavior. these identities are often referred to as 'alters'.
mark:
as most of you probably know, jaemin's sister, na jinhye were diagnosed with DID.
even then, she shared me how she was scared of telling people about her disorder
and this is because she knows how heavily stigmatized the disorder is.
eunha:
yes, even now, it's still very stigmatized.
some of the common myths about people with DID is that people with DID are delusional and are often confused with schizophrenia.
and that people with DID are violent.
DID is also often confused as a personality disorder.
these are just some amongst many other stigmas.
mark:
now let's debunk the stigmas.
first one, 'DID is just the same as schizophrenia'.
eunha:
as explained by jaemin earlier, DID involves the presence of at least two alters who routinely take control
of the person's behavior.
schizophrenia on the other hand, is a psychotic illness in which the symptoms includes delusions, hallucinations,
paranoia, disorganized thoughts, speech and movements as well as social withdrawal.
from the symptoms itself, you can actually tell the difference.
schizophrenia does not involve alternating personalities or dissociation.
people with DID are not delusional, nor are they hallucinating their alters. the alters exists, although they are not visible to the eyes.
it is true that individuals with DID may experience some symptoms such as hearing voices however DID and
schizophrenia are two different illnesses.
mark:
second myth is that 'people with DID are violent'.
as a brother to a diagnosed patient, what do you have to say, jaemin?
jaemin:
this is a stigma developed from movies.
DID is not a new disorder. DID has been depicted in movies before.
in one famous movie, the main character had DID. but contrary to reality, one of the alters of the main character
had supernatural powers that made him a 'beast'.
obviously, this is fictional. the movie depicted evil alters, making people believe that everyone with DID have an evil alter as well.
the movie is not a realistic portrayal of the disorder and may cause harm to people who live with the real disorder.
speaking based on my own experience, my sister was never violent with me.
even before she was diagnosed, when we didn't know it wasn't always her fronting, everyone was always
so kind.
alters are not violent as they exist to serve one purpose and that is to protect the host. this will be explained
further later.
mark:
thank you, jaemin.
the last myth is that DID is a personality disorder. as a psychology major myself, i can explain why this is not true.
personality disorders are a constant fixed pattern of feeling and behaving.
personality disorders such as borderline personality disorder involves extreme emotional responses and patterns of
behavior. personality disorders makes it hard for patients to have stable
relationships and function in society.
DID on the other hand is a dissociative disorder. people with DID do not have extreme emotional reactions
to the world. instead, they lose contact with themselves - their memories,
sense of identity, emotions and behavior.
personality disorder and DID are actually two very different things.
now, we will be taking a 5 minutes break. we'll be back with the second part soon.
and with that, mark pressed the switch to the speaker. "i'm thirsty. i haven't done this in awhile, i forgot how thirsty it made me."
jaemin laughed, passing a bottle of water to his hyung, "you did well, hyung."
"you guys were talking so well too." returned mark.
"you did well," said jaemin as he then passed a bottle of water he just opened to eunha.
"hey, we should hangout soon, like all of us. we've never hung out since eunha joined us." said mark, jaemin and eunha nodding to his suggestion.
jaemin then said, "but before that happens, i want to go on a date with eunha first."
mark and eunha laughed, "why are you asking her out on a date through me?" said mark, feeling awkward being in the same room as the two.
"just so you know that the hangout can't happen, not until i take her out on a date first." jaemin said, sending a teasing look over to eunha.
"sure, whatever love birds." replied mark with an eyeroll before they began their session again.
mark:
welcome back!
it's DEstigma with mark-
eunha:
and eunha
jaemin:
and jaemin!
mark:
yes! now we'll move on to the second part.
i'll now pass the mic to eunha.
eunha:
thank you, mark.
i'm quite nervous for this, since this will be the first time where i share my story.
some may have already known this from myself, and some may have found out themselves.
but i was also recently diagnosed with DID. when i first heard the diagnosis, i was scared. i was really scared, cause i know how stigmatized the disorder is.
it took me awhile to accept myself.
but then i realized, that my alters exist only because they're here to help me.
it's a complex disorder, it's like there are several people living in my head.
but we have our own world, our own house and everything.
repetitive trauma from my childhood resulted in me dissociating. dissociation in DID is an unconscious defense mechanism by the brain.
we are a system, with our own roles in the system. it's hard to comprehend but we are all real. i am an alter myself and although i front more often than the others, it does not make the other alters less 'real' than i am.
we are not monsters.
we are humans, just a little different.
but being different doesn't make us any less worthy.
i do not hate the fact that i have DID.
nor do i wish i was normal like other people. because i cannot imagine myself going through the repetitive trauma and experiencing them myself.
and that is why i am so grateful to be this way.
mark:
thank you so much for that, eunha.
now, let's say our final words before we end the session.
jaemin?
jaemin:
i am thankful to mark-hyung for inviting me for this podcast today.
i am grateful to have the chance to debunk this mental disorder along with you and eunha on behalf of my late sister.
to anyone that is having a hard time, i pray that you'll be able to get through it.
know that you're not alone and that you're loved.
eunha:
i know the past few months have been difficult for most of us. i just want to say that you've done well for coming
this far.
let's not dwell on the past anymore and focus on healing ourselves as we move forward.
thank you mark for allowing me to share and debunk the stigmas surrounding DID with you today.
mark:
yes, i'm very happy to have both of you with me today.
today's content were scripted a long time ago, with jinhye.
i'm grateful for this chance to finally be able to do the show again, the same way she wanted to do it.
sadly, i do not know if i'll be able to continue the series in
the future. however, i will pass this show over to both jaemin and eunha.
i believe there are no better pairing to host the show other than both of them.
jaemin:
we are not sure when we will be doing the next show. but rest assured, we will keep the show alive.
whether it is in nct, or somewhere else.
DEstigma will come back in the future.
mark:
with that said,
thank you for listening to our podcast.
until next time.
this has been DEstigma with mark.
and as he pressed the switch again, a deep exhale of relief escaped his lips.
"you've done well." said eunha from across the table, lightly clapping her hands to mark.
mark sighed, "that was very hard," as the scene of his first time doing the show with jinhye replays in his mind.
"we did it. you made it happen, hyung. noona must be so proud of you now," said jaemin, approaching his hyung with arms wide open, the older naturally falling into jaemin's hug.
"you've done well too,"
• • •
and that marks the end of alters 🥲
but i still have 5 special chapters to be published
(perhaps all will be out by next week)
thank you for being here for my writing ❤️
- ayraa