Chapter 49.2
Give Me Your Forever.
The skies slowly turned and colored hues of yellow because of the sun that starting to set. It was a beautiful sight to see, made me wished One was beside me. I couldn't spend the day with him like he wished a while ago and I couldn't help but feel guilty.
"Is everything good?" Jake asked me, making sure everything was all set. I nodded at him and smiled, "Thanks a lot man, I owe you big for this one." I told him, thankful.
He literally helped me with everything. Thanks to him everything was made and finished before the sunset or else it could be worse.
"Repay me when it's my time," he said, trying to lighten up the mood, We both laughed at that.
We were about to get in each other's car when "Mate!" he called me. I looked at him and saw his eyes close to tears. I chuckled a little as I watched him walk towards me.
"Good luck, Mate!" he said simply. He has a lot to say, but he just smiled and nodded not wanting to hold me longer, "Just give me a time for best man speech. Advance congratulations Mate!" he added, as we shared a handshake hug gladly.
"Thanks, Man! I'll give you that once he said yes," I replied, then laughed softly. "He will, Mate." He said as he patted me softly.
after leaving the place I went straight to our home, where One is. The sun was completely settled when I arrived as the darkness took over the sky, revealing the beauty we could only see when the night won over daylight.
I knocked on our dorm's door before typing the passcodes, but I was just about to press the button when the door opened, and it revealed One.
He was smiling at me, something I returned back as I wrapped my arms around his waist, "I'm sorry being back late. Love." I whispered gently, I was really sorry, but there was no other way to do this surprise for him. I'll do my best instead to make it up to him for the rest of the night.
He wrapped me with his warmth and nodded, "You don't have to. As long as you are here now, it's fine." he said softly,
He stared at me with soft smiles and meek eyes, weighing me, "Is everything all right now?" he asked, concern in his voice was very apparent. It was clear that Jake's reason got him worried a lot. I felt more guilty.
"It went well, Love," I assured him and kissed his forehead.
He nods his head and parted himself to me as he caressed my arm gently. "I prepared dinner, Love. It must have been a tiring and stressful day for you." he said softly, "Change your clothes first, I'll setup our table," He added sweetly.
I didn't know, but I felt so touched. I was really fortunate to have someone like him in my life, someone so understanding and caring. Someone who thinks of me and loves me as much as I love him.
He stared at me, then tiptoed to plant a soft kiss on my lips, "Welcome, kisses." he said suppressing a smile.
He tried to let go of my holds, but I embraced him tighter and rested my head on his shoulder. I could feel his arms slowly wrapping me as he gave me soft pats on my back, "Love.." he called me softly wondering.
"Thank you, Love, for everything," I told him softly. My eyes turned watery from so much warmth his making me feel, but I did not let it thread my cheeks.
I was just thinking, he has all the right to sulk and even gets mad at me for not being present by his side during this important day of ours, But he chose to cook for me instead and wait for me to have dinner together.
He didn't lock himself in his room, nor wait for me to enter the dorm, but opened it for me and welcome me home. He didn't use it against me and asked me instead how my day went in his own way. He didn't make me feel at fault. Instead, he comforted and assured me everything is okay.
If it's not him, maybe it's not like this. If it's not, One, I'm sure everything would turn out different.
"Love, why are you suddenly saying that?" he asked gently, I could feel him turning emotional, but I just shook my head as I hold his waist leaving enough gap between us. "I'm so lucky and glad to have you. I really do, Love." I told him and planted soft kisses on his forehead.
He let out a soft giggles, before answering, "Me too, Jay." he replied softly.
He was about to let go to prepare our dinner when I refused to free him. "Love, I want to bring you to our place," told him.
He stares at me more, looking straight into my eyes. He caressed the back of my nape softly as his one hand rested on my shoulder, "But you must be tired already. We can go tomorrow. Love. It's really okay. Let us celebrate the rest of tonight here at our home." He replied meekly,
"I'm not that tired, Love. I don't want to let this day pass without celebrating with you and going to our special place." I replied reassuringly "I wanted our every first to be memorable." I added with a subtle smile. I meant all of that.
He nod, beaming and said "I got it, Love, let's change first." he replied, He chuckles as he stare at me more and, "Your sweet, Love." said in a murmured.
I asked him to pick my clothes and he immediately agreed after heartily laugh, "It's cold there, so let pick something warm." he said as he glanced at me. I just nodded as I watched him lovingly went through to my closet as I sat in my bed.
He showed me the white knitted cream-white sweater and T-shirt as my inner, as well as a straight cut black pants. "This is comfortable Love, Do you want this? or should I pick another set?" He inquired attentively while raising his eyebrow.
I smiled at him, "That's good. I'll wear that. Thank you, Love." I said as I walked to him, I kissed his forehead as he handed me the clothes. "Let me help you with yours after this." I whispered to him before changing.
"There's no need, Love. I will wear the one a while ago," he said. I could feel him leave before even I could answer. but that was relatively thin.
I looked at myself in the body mirror. He really knows what will suit me. It looks good on me, simple yet classic. I comb my hair with my fingers, letting it fall naturally.
I closed my door and took out the blue box where my proposal ring was. I opened the box that also extended the boxes of different emotions in my system. I couldn't help but smile even nervousness and the likes was the most apparent emotion I could feel right now.
Just looking at the ring, I personally designed for him made my stomach tickled. It sunk to me more that tonight has really come to our life, me asking the hand of the person I love the most with the whole of me to spend the rest of my life with him.
I stared at the silvered-colored infinity ring with small diamonds ingrained in it. I designed thinking nothing but promising and wanting forever with him.
It was a simple and meaningful ring. A thin infinity band that would symbolize my endless love for him and the love we are sharing.
It was the most beautiful ring I had ever seen in my life, Perhaps it's because it was designed by me for the love of my life and I put all my love on it so this ring looks exceptional. Still, maybe also because of the emotions and promised of forever I'm seeing on it, that's why.
What matter it is undoubtedly this ring is truly one of a kind as there's only one of this in this world.
Just like him, and us.
"You look good, Love." he complimented me when he saw me on his door." I smile sweetly till, I couldn't help but frown because of the top his wearing.
It was thin.
"Baby, change your top," I told him softly.
He seems didn't hear me, I just realized that he was still checking me out, which made me conscious. He laughed softly when he noticed my reaction.
It's always his effect on me.
"Love," I called his attention again. "Your top is to thin." I told him, He smiled more as he walked to me. He smoothly wrapped his arms around my waist as he glanced at me. "I thought you like this the most?" he asked me softly.
He was talking about the shirt and pants a while ago. That was what he's exactly wearing. I liked it a lot, but it's now dark outside, and the wind got colder.
I ruffled his hair softly, "Love, It was sunny and warm a while ago," I explained to him, "But it was now dark outside. It can also get windy there. I don't want you to catch a cold," I told him softly, "And you look good on everything. I like everything on you." I told him with a soft beam as I planted a kiss on his forehead.
"Should I pick one for you too? we could go for a couple look." I said, smiling as I pinched his nose slightly to coax him.
His little hesitant expression turned to a broad smile that spread to me as he nodded. I got him the cream-white knitted sweater just like mine, and the other color he has, cream brown.
I showed it to him, "Is this okay to you?" I asked him softly,
"I like the cream-white," he said, smiling more. I nodded and gave him that. He changed into it with an inner t-shirt too inside.
When he was done, I immediately snaked his waist, as he stared at me, "You look perfect in what matter clothes you wear, Love." I complimented him and kissed his forehead.
His smiles grew prominent.
"Shall we go now?" I asked him. He softly nods, so I hold his hand softly to guide him. He intertwined in as we walked to the corridors without carrying about the eyes looking at us.
"Let's stop at somewhere to buy some more food for dinner and snacks, Love," he said with a smile, were now driving to our place.
We actually brought the dinner he prepared for us, but he said it's not going to be enough, so we should.
I agreed with him not to make him suspicious. I was planning to have some stopover in a fancy restaurant and cake shops, but for some reason, we ended up in some drive-through of a fast-food chain he chose.
He was a really simple man. We were waiting for our orders when I couldn't help to smile."Why?" he asked confusedly, laughing softly, with me not knowing the reason.
"Nothing, Love," I said as I held his hand and played with it carefully, "I'm just so in love with everything of you. It blows me away every time." I said in a low tone voice.
He laughed when he heard my reasons. "You're getting more random and random, Jay, Love." He told me with disbelief.
When our order arrived. I drove straight away. It was a ride full of conversation. The whole time, One was caring for me, afraid I was exhausted even I assured him from time to time that I was not.
I noticed him put a straw on the water bottle and extend it to me. We just finished a sandwich he opened mainly to feed me, "Water love," he said. I looked at him briefly and sipped on it, "Thank you, love," I replied softly as I watch him sipping on it.
The wind immediately welcome us when our feet touched the ground, "It never changes here," One said. "It is still a place where stars shine for us and everything welcomes us," he added with a beam.
I smiled at what he said, couldn't agree more. This place is just so warm for us, just like a safe place would be. Maybe because it has a special place and role in our hearts and lives. And there's a world that belongs to us, waiting only for the two of us behind these dandelion bushes.
"Everything will shine for you, love. Everything would love your warmth," I told him as My hand found One's. I intertwined our fingers.
I slowly lead him the way on the dandelions bushes every time I part it. Its tiny dandelion seeds flow in the air where winds sway them as if they wanted to help me create a dreamy romantic atmosphere. I couldn't help but feel everything on my side like this little grass is.
"Careful, Love."I reminded him. We could hear sounds of nature and dry leaves that create sounds of autumn, soulful cracks as we step on it.
I parted the last dandelions bushes and It revealed the beautiful landscape of the colorous city lights. The calm nightfall and seas of stars in the pitch blue skies and picturesque full moon that warmly welcomed us.
I stared at One with astonishment in his expression. His eyes were twinkling for the view, just like the stars above us twinkling and shining for him. .
But his were far from beautiful and so much more.
I lend my hand to him as I help him with his last step. He gladly received it and smiled more at me. I covered the view at the back, calling his attention and using my body to block his vision.
"Love," I called him. He stared into my eyes, nothing but sereness and happiness on his. I'm sure mine too. We could only have a glimpse of the silhouette of each other, but that was seemingly enough for us.
He stared at me more with soft beams waiting for me to talk, "Love, I hope you will like this. Happy Anniversary." I said softly, beyond tamed with meek eyes. One second later, the place lit up in hues of subtle white as I showed him what was waiting for him.
His jaw dropped when he saw what I had prepared for him. He covered his lips with his hand beyond surprise as he stared at me with eyes closed to tears.
He looked confused yet glad, he was seeing it in front of his eyes, yet he seemed to couldn't believe it.
"Love..." He called me, still flustered and unsure how to react, but tears that flew down in his eyes were enough answer to tell me he liked.
I turned our little world into beautiful forestry. Many different flowers were surrounding us all over the place. Each flower carries the words and describes my love for him. Carnations, daisies, tulips, roses, and more made our little world dreamy with the colors filling it.
The string balls lights surrounding and lighting up our place made the place beautiful same with the trees now wrapped and lit up with white string lights around them.
There was a candlelight dinner waiting for us, with fancy food and wine as well as a flower bouquet I arranged just for him. It was a mix of different flowers.
A camping tent was also present, just like before, besides the checkered picnic mat on the ground with three rattan baskets full of his favorite snacks.
We could sit and lay after our romantic dinner to watch the seas of stars and the night sky or have the food I prepared and the snack we bought a while ago. Everything would be fine as long as I'm with him.
"When did you prepare all of this?" he asked me softly, suppressing tears and laughter at the same time.
"I've for weeks, I set up everything a while ago, I'm sorry for lying and making you worried, Love." I confessed to him and kissed his forehead.
"What?" he replied with disbelief after realizing what I mean, letting out soft chuckles. "You're so mean." He added as his tears slowly rolled down his cheeks and slowly snakes my waist. He rested his head on my shoulder. "I was really worried, But I'm glad you were lying," he added as he chuckled.
"I am for that. I'm sorry, Love," I said softly as I returned his embrace.
A silence enveloped us for a moment as I guided him to our table, and seated him, there were only soft smiles that couldn't leave his lips and meek eyes of his that tells me how happy he was. There were crystals pooling in it he's trying to hold within him.
I got the bouquet of white, red, and pink mixed flowers that symbolized my love for him, roses, tulips, and more. I walked toward him and gave it to him. to He gladly received it, staring at me lovingly,
"I'm glad you didn't give me heavy one." he joked in brief, making us both chuckle, "Thank you, Love," he said as he received it.
'That won't do," I told him humorously. One second later, I felt his soft lips on mine. I could feel his smile as his lips stayed on mine. So I did. After a few seconds, he parted himself and seated properly as he looked at me, cheeks flushed with hues of pinks.
"Is that enough?" he asked me. I couldn't help but chuckle, "Obviously, I won't get enough of your kisses but, Okay." I said playfully. We both laughed.
I'm now about to go back at my seat when he catches my hand causing me to look at him gently, "Thank you, Jay." He whispered he stood up as he rewarded me warm embrace, wrapping his arms around my nape. "For all the effort and making me feel so loved. Always," he added in a soft whisper.
I let my lips curled sign of happiness, "All for you. I'll do everything." I replied to him softly as I kissed the top of his head. I smiled more and wiped his tears away when he parted from me, I helped him sit on his chair.
"This reminds me a lot of when you first brought me here. The birthday date you prepared for me,.." he said, reminiscing with soft beams. "Back then, you asked me to be yours twice," he said, then giggled.
Tonight would be the tenth one, love, but I'll be asking you officially to seal forever with me.
"I would never get tired asking you to be mine all over and over again, Love," I told him with a smile.
We also started to have our late dinner. It was almost nine in the evening. I placed the food he cooked for us on our table when he stopped me,
"Love, it would going to ruin your setup," he said softly.
What does he mean by that? His dish is going to be the highlight. Even it would ruin everything on this table, I wouldn't mind. I could ruin everything for him. I looked at him reassuringly, "What's ruining what? This is the main dish." I told him with assuring him.
I prefer eating what he prepared for us than the fancy food I specially picked for us and ordered. His food is definitely above all level, more special than any five stars and Michelin restaurants existing in this world. It's a privilege his man could only enjoy, and I'm glad it was me.
"I should have put it in a fancy container," he said, then laughed. "I'll eat it, love, even you put it on a plastic bag," I replied that making him laugh more.
He ate what I prepared, which is beef steak, while I ate what he cooked for me, "It's delicious, Love. You're near granny's level." I complimented him.
He looked at me surprised, then laughed softly, "Granny will hit you once she hears you." He said kiddingly. "You should try what you prepared, Love. I know I'm not a good cooked yet." He told me gently.
"But your dishes and you are my favorite cook," I replied sweetly.
He scrunched his nose as he looked at me. Suppressing laughter, "Really, Love. Stop that. You and you're flowery words." he said in disbelief even it was apparent he liked it.
We enjoyed our food together, talking about random things that came to our minds.
We stayed in our seats, enjoying the view of each other. as I played with our fingers.
"This must be a lot of work," he said so suddenly, As he looked around again with the same amusement in his eyes.
"It does, But I won't mind doing it for you," I said honestly and softly, this time nothing but sincerity. I surely won't mind going through anything just for him.
He just stares at me with soft smiles on his lips,
"I love you," he whispered out of the blue enough for me to hear. That made my heart flutter more.
"I love you more, One," I replied softly while looking straight into his eyes.
He walked toward me and extended his hand, asking for mine, I looked at him confused, but I still held it, "I want to make up for our first dance." he said.
The words he said triggered the tears to pool my eyes, "I should at least do something to make up with it. Should we have this dance, Love?" he asked me as tears rolled down his cheeks.
He was talking that night when we had our first dance, but different from what everyone expected it to be, it was something that broke our hearts into pieces, a slow dance of parting we thought our last dance. Who knew we will going to have this chance again.
I nodded and smiled even the pain of yesterday rushed down, It was something we both wanted to let go but we couldn't as it was also part of our story. It was part of us and our love.
He got his phone and played a piece of familiar music. It wasn't just familiar as it was me singing.
He still kept it.
[Playing: Soul Mate by Flora Cash]
"Feels like we've lived a hundred lives before
Together and then decided on one more
Here on earth where everything is cruel
'Cause no one knows that this is just a school
For what it's worth, I'd die with you again
A hundred more times multiplied by ten
I hope I'll always have you in my mind
So that I know to find you every time."
He wrapped his arms on my nape as I snaked his waist with mine. We swayed on the music I was singing just for him.
I looked at him smiling yet couldn't suppress tears from falling anymore. It was like having a rewind of yesterday. Only it was sweeter today.
"Do you still remember this song, Love?" He asked softly with eyes closed to tears as he stared at me intently. I could clearly see an evident hint of pain in his eyes, telling me looking back to that night still hurts him, making it 'us'
I nodded and smiled, "How could I forget." I replied, then looked down to hide the rushing more tears.
"I've been listening to this song since then. I think it's true, maybe it was because I always have you in my mind, so I found you. You found me once more." He said, suppressing tears.
"Soul mate, soul mate, soul mate
Won't you dance here with me while it grows late?
Put your head on my chest, that's your safe place
We'll fall deeper in love every day
From life unto life and for always
I'll be there when you need me around
When night finally comes and the leaves have fallen from the tree
Baby, you'll have me
Soul mate."
We keep slow dancing to the gentle music. Every sway tries to make up for the pain of every sway in the past. One leaned closer to me and rested his forehead on mine. I smiled at him meekly.
"I"ll be your soulmate, Jay." He said as tears fell through his eyes. I managed to keep my eyes on him even I couldn't take the pain on them. That night really left invisible scars on him. I smiled more and nodded.
"I'll dance with you till it grows late. Your chest will be forever my safe place, and well fall deeper in love every day," he added, trying his best not for his voice to crack.
I realized he was answering me. He was telling me his answer directly, and I couldn't help but feel emotional despite the warmth he was giving me.
I was unsure of everything when I recorded this. I didn't know what was coming. All I had was hope to get through together, That he would be my soulmate. Time parted us but still looked at us now.
"Life unto life, and always. I'll always be by your side no matter what. You'll have me once you fall. You will always have me, Jay. Because we were soulmates. I'm your soulmate." He continued as more tears be descended from his eyes.
" Maybe there's not a brightness in this dark
Other than what is burning in this heart
But if we fight to keep this thing alive
Pretty sure there's no end to us insight
I'll follow you into whatever is next
Or you can follow me, whatever's best (whatever's best)
First, let's dance the dance that lovers do."
"Love, I promised you, we are going to get through all things together, there's no going to be an end for us. I'll fight with you to keep our love alive. I'll entrust myself to you and to us. We'll only dance as lovers do every time."
"Soul mate, soul mate, soul mate
Won't you dance here with me while it grows late?
Put your head on my chest, that's your safe place
We'll fall deeper in love every day
From life unto life and for always
I'll be there when you need me around
When night finally comes and the leaves have fallen from the tree
Baby, you'll have me
Soul mate."
"I'm really glad Jay, I was able to say this, That I have the chance to be with you again and personally say all of these to you. I'm delighted that I don't have to wait for the next lifetime to be with you, grant my promises to you, and be your soulmate," he added as he cried more.
He slowly closed the gap between us, hugging me more as we continued to slow dance to the music of our hearts. I pulled him closer hugged him tighter through his waist.
"I'm glad. I'm really glad that I found my way to you after five years. That we miraculously found a way to each other once more, Jay." he added as he started to sob. "I don't think I could continue living like that. I don't want to live like that," he added that broke me.
I don't want to live like that too, Jungwon. I don't like the life without you too beside me.
" Promise you that I'll find a way
To give you hope, to keep you close and safe
Keep you no matter come what may
And then we'll sleep in endless sheets of gray.
I could feel his shoulder shudder as he cried more. My voice singing continued to fill our place. As he still tried his best to say every word.
"I'll be all you need, Love, I'll give you everything I have. I will give you hope and keep you close and safe." he said. I stayed quiet, just listening to him with all my attention. Letting his love caress my heart softly and feeling all his warmth and love as I nodded and caressed his back to comfort him.
"I'll do everything to stay and make you stay what matter comes to us. Well, be together in endless sheets of gray." He continued till the very last.
The music was finished, but his cries and sobbed didn't, the same with gentle tears flowing down my eyes. He didn't let me go, nor did I let him go. We continued to stay in each other arms as we felt each other genuinely and endless love.
There was only music of nature when he said heartfeltly.
"Thank you, Jay, for the second chance you gave me after breaking us to pieces. For not changing hearts when you have all the right and reason to do so." there was only gratefulness in his voice when he said that. It was so soft and careful. He sounded like glass about to break anytime.
He slowly parted himself with me and cupped my cheeks, feeling the warmth of my cheek in his palm as he smiled, looking straight into my eyes.
"Happy first Anniversary, My Love. I love you so much more than you'll know." He whispered and slowly leaned to seal me with a kiss as crystal of tears threaded his cheeks.
I closed my eyes and met him halfway, gladly welcoming his soft lips to crash into mine.
Butterflies were soon felt on my stomach with the whole damn zoo stomping their feet because of electric jolts of fluttery, emotional kisses we are sharing.
Our lips softly and slowly molded one another without forgetting any corner. He pulled me closer through my nape as my hands lay flat on his back, pushing him gently to me. Our lips continued to collide passionately till we were out of breathing.
I rested my forehead on his as the tip of our nose touched. I smiled at him as we looked at each other's eyes.
He let go of me and got something in his pocket. He showed me a thread bracelet with a tiny dangling Halfmoon in the middle and gently put it on my wrist without saying anything.
I stared at him beyond ecstatic and brought it closer to me with hearts in my eyes and overflowing warmth in my system.
Our initial was engraved to it. I looked at him with soft smiles and eyes close to tears, suppressing it to fall.
"I'll treasure this, Love," I told him and kissed his forehead.
He beamed more softly. He slowly pulled up his sleeves and showed me his, same with mine. It was a couple bracelet that I'm sure handcrafted by him for us, that made it more special and priceless.
He didn't say anything and held my hands as he intertwined our fingers.
I got more speechless and surprised when the dangling half-moon in our bracelets became a full moon as they collided and found each other's half to be whole.
Tears in my eyes rolled down on their own as I looked at him.
"This is us Love," He started as he stares at me, I am the half-moon, and I need you to be whole. You complete me, Jay," he said softly. "Every time you look at the moon and this bracelet, I wanted you to be reminded of me. 'The moons is always beautiful, Love."
"I promised to love you like a moon, Love, No matter on what phase and shape are you. I would love you the same way. Couldn't be less but just greater." he added as he looked at me straight into my eyes.
There were no proper words to describe how I feel right now. There were just overflowing love, warmth, and fluttery on my body. Butterflies and zoos going wild won't do justice to describe the feeling he was giving me.
I was beyond happy, nor over the moon. I surpassed all cloud nines and all the moon.
Tears fell from so much happiness I couldn't contain he wiped it away for me as he continue to smiled warmly and looked at me endearingly.
"I'll promise to be your moon then. I'll always love you and be by your side no matter how shape and state I were and you were in even in your most darkest and thunderous days where you couldn't see me. I will stay and love you the same." I replied, more tears fall as I kissed his forehead.
There's just no way I wouldn't be.
We were lying now on the picnic mat as we watched the moon and seas of stars above us. He was using my arms as his pillows. I lay sideways to watch him do that.
"It's really beautiful," he whispered. I glanced at him and saw him smiling. He lifted his hand on the air, imagining to be patting the full moon. I laughed softly.
"Indeed," I whispered. He looked at me and giggled when he heard that.
We shared small talks until I slowly sat, and he watched me do that. I knew he knew I'd be singing a song for him as my guitar was present, but his eyes still twinkled.
His excitement about me singing a love song for him didn't change. His consistency never did.
Little did he know I'd be singing something beyond exceptional than the rest, and it will be the last song I'll be singing as his boyfriend after he says 'Yes' to forever with me.
"May I?" I asked him and extended my hands. He looks at me with a duchenne smile, a smile ear to ear that reaches his eyes full of sereneness, contentment, and happiness,
He gladly received it, so I guided and seated him on the high chair.
Nervousness enveloped my body as I stared at him sitting in front of me. I got my guitar and wore it to my shoulder.
I didn't know how long I stared at him until I was able to get enough courage to start. He waited full of anticipation in his beautiful eyes.
"Love," I called him, he's smile grew bigger. "It was a year with you, nothing but love. It was the best year I ever had in my entire life," I looked at him straight into his eyes. "I want to celebrate endless anniversaries with you and spend the rest of my life with you. I'll tell you everything with songs I prepared for you, I love you."
He nodded with eyes close to tears. I strummed my guitar for my first song. I stared at him as I sang the first verse, nothing with sincerity and pure love for him. It was just me and my raw emotion for him.
Hear me love, I'll be singing my heart loud, this is from me to you.
[Playing: I do by Susie Suh]
"I don't know
What am I doing here?
There's a shadow in my place.
Maybe now
Everything will be so clear
You shed a light into this empty space."
It was all shadow without you. I didn't know I would be here. After all that happened, I didn't know I'd be asking for your hand even I had always dreamed of it. Love, I guess genuine love wins. It Always wins,
Everything was unsure till you came back. I promised I wouldn't let you go. It was so clear we were for each other, finding our way back home to each other arms. Not just shedding light but also colors to each other lives.
"And all I am
All I have
Doesn't even matter now
I can't understand why I feel this way
But I do
I do."
I'm giving you all of me, Love, Whole of me, every inch of me, and all I have, including my life. I would give it all up just to have you without thinking twice. It doesn't matter as long as I have you.
Till now, I still couldn't believe I could love this much and way. That I could love more than I ever before. Until now, there were no words and reasons I could find to describe how much I love you and why it's you. All reasons I have were indeed not enough and more than that.
I also still couldn't understand how these emotions possibly exist. All kinds of happiness, sereneness, contentment, and so much love that was so much hard to explain, nor the love I have for you, 'I would die for you' to described won't still do justice.
And I won't try harder to understand how it was possible to give and receive such emotions brought by love. I just do, I do.
One's tears rolled down his eyes when I sang the following lyrics, but he tried to laugh it off as he covered his lips to forbid any sobs from coming out.
'I just wanna love you when the goings tough
I just wanna hold you when your not enough
I just wanna give you everything I got
I do
I do."
I just simply want to love you all my life, love. I want to be simply by your side when everything seems not right and going on your, our way. I want to be the one to hold you when you feel like you're not enough to remind you, 'You do and more than enough.'
I just want to give everything I have and do everything I can, Love. I do, I do.
One cried harder after the verse but still managed to smile and nod.
"I don't know
What am I saying here?
There's a hole in my heart and it's begging please
Maybe now
Everything will be so clear
Cos you're all I'll ever need."
After all, we went through, I don't know if I'm doing everything love right, If I'm saying every word tonight right, but I guess I do, seeing you right now. I'll make more clearer to you. Love, If you still have doubts, I'll make clear for the both of us that you are all I ever need. I am to you.
"All I know is
I don't wanna lose control
I just wanna touch your soul
I do
I do"
All I know is I don't want to lose you, Love. I want to be the only one who can see you the whole of you. I'll be your mirror. You'll be to me.
I stopped strumming the guitar as I smiled at him, then sang the next lyrics to him nothing but music and rhythm of my heart,
"I just wanna hold you when the goings tough
I just wanna love you when your not enough
I just wanna give you all that I can give
I do
I do"
I'll be your safe place to hold and shelter you love. I'll love you in all shapes you have. You will never not enough. I'll give you everything and all I can.
Because I want to, and I do.
My own new sets of tears rolled down my cheeks, but I did my best to continue to sing my heart to him. I smiled and strummed my guitar once more as I continued to serenade him with the music of my heart.
"I just wanna kiss you in the morning sun
I just wanna love you when the day is done
I just wanna hold you just because I can
I do, I do."
I'll be the one who'll you see first when you wake up in the morning and gives you morning kisses. I'll be going home to you when the day is done, and you will to me. I'll hold you like I always do. Because I can, and same to you as were each other's, Love.
"I just wanna fold you up into my arms
I just wanna listen to your beating heart
I just wanna love you just because I do
I do
I do."
I will continue to wrap you in my arms. I'll listen to how your heart beats for me, and I'll let you continue to hear mine. I will love you, One, A love, there's no need to reason out nor explain it, I will love you without all of that, but just because I do, I just want to love you, Love.
I will, and I do with the rest of my life.
He did his best to clap when I finished singing. He wiped his tears away and tried to stop his tears... he then stared at me lovingly.
"It keeps coming out." He said, then chuckled. I smiled at him and spread my arms, inviting him to my embrace.
He laughed heartily and walked towards me, he hugged me so tight as he burry his head on my shoulder,
"I'm s-so happy l-love, I'm beyond happy." he stuttered as he cried in my arms. I snaked his waist and pulled him closer to me, sealing all gaps between us.
"I am, too," I whispered. I slowly cupped his cheeks and he closed his eyes tight, suppressing tears, but the last crystal of the same tears dropped beautifully.
I smiled, and I kissed it away softly.
These are the only tears I wanted to give him, the tears I only wanted to be the reason when it comes to him.
"I'll be singing the most important song of our lives. Do you want to hear it?" I asked him.
He stared at me as he bit his lips, controlling his sobs, "I'll stop crying just to cry again." he said and embraced me more. I could feel him chuckling at his own words.
I laughed softly at what he said, "I'll make it worth it, Love, in all cries you had cried." I told him softly.
"It was always worth it love, I would never regret crying all kinds of tears for you," he assured me and smiled.
I stared at him as nervousness enveloped my body once more. I knew he told me quite times he wanted to be with me as much as I wanted, but now we're here, I could help but prepare myself for the worst.
I didn't want him to feel a sudden change of heart for me.
My heart keeps skipping a beat as it beat fast and hard for him. I feel like my mouth ran dry, and I'm starting to get voiceless from the mixed emotions swirling in my system.
I smiled at him softly, and he did the same, "I wanted you to listen carefully, love." I told him. "I'll be asking you one most important question, and I wanted you to give me an answer from your heart," I added.
He looked at me mystified, but I could tell he still didn't have any idea. Perhaps he didn't want to assume, or he hadn't thought of it yet. However, no matter what it was, I decided to still ask him tonight, and wait for his answer no matter how long.
I want him to know that there's only him in the future I see. I want to tell him he's the one I wanted to spend my whole life with and ask him officially to spend forever with me and give me his forever.
I guided him to his seat and kissed his forehead once more. I walked a few meters away from him just enough to see each other rightly.
"Yang Jungwon," I called his name softly. He opened his eyes more, making us both chuckle, "I love you," I told him softly with a soft laugh.
I started strumming my guitar again as I looked him straight into his eyes. It was shining and twinkling out of happiness. He was watching me with anticipation and endearing in them.
[Playing: Give me your forever by Zack Tabudlo.] (Disclaimer: Some lyrics were re-write to fit the story)
"Do you remember
When we were young, you were always with our friends.
Wanted to grab your hand and run away from them
I knew that it was time to tell you how I feel.
So I made a move, I took your hand.
My heart was beating loud like I've never felt before
You were smiling at me like you wanted more.
I think you're the one I've never seen before."
Way back, we were always with them. I take you to places, wanting you to have friends. Then I would have this urge to take you away whenever someone tries to get close to you.
Emotions that were new two us were driving us crazy, But we both chose to listen to our hearts rather than our minds.
We showed love in our own little ways, we didn't tell, but we felt. In every word and action, we did shorts of things for each other.
My heart always beats for you back then. Till now, nothing has changed. Sometimes it hurts. I'm afraid it would jump out of my chest. You're the only one who could make me feel like that, along with other emotions of love.
There were times I would see the light in your smiles. I would always assume that you felt the same way, but I would stop myself, afraid of pain but little did I know you really do.
We really felt the same way.
I stared at him more and smiled more as I sang every lyric. Hear me, my love, please let this sink into your heart, and don't let any inch of you forget how much I love you and wanted to be with you.
"I want you to know
I love you the most
I'll always be there right by your side.
'Cause baby, you're always in my mind
Just give me your forever."
I saw him frown at lyrics, but he just smiled. I could tell he was confused. Crystals pooled his eyes as he looked at me more intently, trying to figure out things on his mind. Whether hell believed it or not.
Yes, Love, You were thinking the right thing, Please know that I love you the most, I'm always here, and you'll always be in my mind, Be my forever, Love.
I smiled at him nodded with tears rolling down my eyes as I continued to sing.
"I want you to know
That you'll be the one
And I'll be the guy who'll be on his knees.
To say I love you
And I need you
And say I'd die for you."
One covered his mouth when the lyrics sunk more to him. He cried hard with curled in his lips seemed like he had already realized what question I was asking and meaning to ask.
"I never knew
It would be possible.
For you to be with me
'Cause, love, I lost you once back in '16
I was so jealous you with them.
Oh baby, I know that I can treat you better back in those night.
Oh, you wouldn't cry from those stupid lies.
Oh, baby, I was there hoping and wishing you to be mine."
There was an evident shock in his expression. His eyes were prominent as he watched me couldn't believe anything,
Because I am too. After everything, I could only dream in my wildest dream proposing to him and spending my life with him.
I lost him back then, and no one knew this time would come. There were times I wish I were with you in those times, so at least I could have a glimpse of you like who were around you, even in a far, I actually did sneaking at granny's house.
Every time I think of that time, I still hate it. All those nights were crying for each other, forcing ourselves to lie to make things better, but it just made us worse. I know I could do better if we were together.
Until now, I'm still thinking, what if those lost nights without you didn't pass and happened.
Are we still here? Indeed love, Yes, but perhaps differently stronger to this.
Even it hurts so much, you don't want it to have it another way around, don't you? We would still choose the same decision all over again. I couldn't help to think of that.
We were both just hoping at those times, away from each other for years, we did too every single day even we tried to convince ourselves we're not, But looked at us now.
Looked at me proposing to you now.
"I want you to know
I love you the most
I'll always be there right by your side 'Cause baby, you're always in my mind.
Just give me your forever.
I want you to know
That you'll be the one
And I'll be the guy who'll be on his knees.
To say I love you
And I need you
And say I'd die for you."
Yes, Love, You are the one for me. I'll be on my knees just like now, telling you I love you, I need you, and I would die for you.
I'm asking you to spend forever with me. Love,
Please say yes.
"Do you remember
that night I ran to you
You were waiting for me just like I do.
Saw you in your sweater
I was crying all my tears.
I told myself that you are the one."
I still remember how much relief I felt when I saw that night waiting for me. It was prayer heard and answered by God. You were wearing a white sweater just like now as I cried myself out from so much happiness that it was all over even pain where evident.
I promised myself that I would never let you go again, Love, that you would be the one, and I'd do everything not to repeat the same thing. I would make your stay.
"I want you to know
I love you the most
I'll always be there right by your side.
'Cause baby, you're always in my mind
Just give me your forever.
I want you to know
That you'll be the one
And I'll be the guy who'll be on his knees.
To say I love you
And I need you
And say I'd die for you."
I will never get tired of declaring my love for you. I will never leave you, no matter what. I'll think of you and take care of you. I will make you feel love and tell you that you are the one every day. I will never forget to remind you how important you are in my life. I'd die for you, Love.
We have really gone so far. Love, Now we're here, I am asking for your hand to be together with you till the last of my breath and spend forever with me from tonight and onward.
Will you give it to me?
"Just give me your forever.
Just give me your forever."
Will you be mine forever?
I finished the song with tears descending from my eyes. I could hardly see him because of pooling crystal at the side of my eyes,
I removed my guitar and was about to wipe my tears to see clearly, but before I could do that, I could feel warm hands enveloped my cheeks and brush it away.
I stared at One staring at me with continuous waterfalls in his eyes. I smiled at him and held his hands, gently holding them with my both hands.
"Yang Jungwon," I called him softly. My heart was stomping fast and loud as colds slowly invaded my body. There was a long silence before I could continue my words as I softly caressed his hand with my thumb.
"Back then till now, I know it's you. You are going to be my end game and the one I would bring in the aisle." I said, looking straight into his eyes. Our tears continued to fall on our eyes.
"My Love, We have really gone through a lot. We had fallen apart, but our hearts grew closer. We've been broken to pieces but found each other again to be whole." I added.
"We've been tested by time and all odd. We fought hard and hoped, wished, and prayed. It's been a year since we found our way back home, You might think it's too fast, but I could wait. Love, No matter how long, I could."
"You were only the certain in my world. You were the constant of my heart and my life. You were the greatest blessing that happened to me, and I don't ever want to lose."
I looked at him more and caressed his cheeks, "Love, I couldn't believe I'm finally asking you this. I feel like I've been waiting for this my whole life." I said I could suppress more tears from coming out.
"Perhaps, I really did, I really waited for you. You were the one I asked God all this time, To all deities that may have existed. You were my prayer answered One. and I'm glad it is you." I stared at him more, and silence enveloped us.
Tears of happiness continue to fall on our eyes as the wind embraces us, digging under our skins. All things above us were giving us the blessing, twinkling and shining and lighting us, witnessing once more our love for each other and the new chapter of our lives.
I slowly pulled out the blue box in my pocket. I beamed at him. He covered his mouth, closing his eyes as more tears ran down his eyes.
I slowly opened the box and let him see the infinity ring I designed for us and the ring that will seal our forever together.
"J-Jay." He called me as tears threaded his cheeks. Looking at the ring and me with a shuddering smile on his lips because of crying.
I was no different to him. I took a deep breath that made him chuckles,
"I know, love, we are going to encounter more challenges. Everything will test us more, and we could go through different emotions of pain and sadness, too, not just happiness. It's not going to end with this, but I wanted to go through everything with you. Hand by hand, together with you." I told him.
"Love, In front of all witnesses, we could have right now, The city lights below us and the magnificent moon and seas of stars looking upon us. In this special place of ours. Would you like to spend forever with me?" I asked him, trying my best not my voice to crack,
I slowly bended my knees in frontvof him. I stare at him straight into his eyes as all emotions rushed to me but I only wanted him to see and feel my love and sincerity.
He met my gazes with a genuine smile as he waited for me to say it but it didn't last long when his hand were on his lips to suppressed little sobs of happiness.
"Love, Yang Jungwon. Would you give me your forever... Will you marry me?" I finally asked him while looking straight into his eyes. I lost control of surging tears and they freed themselves form running through my cheeks.
I just stared at him feeling surreal, I'm really proposing now, I'm really asking him to be with me forever.
There were only sounds of cold winds and our cries as warmth yet nervousness and the likes spreads to my body like wild fire.
More tears ran down from his eyes as he nodded repeatedly. He covered his lips to suppress more cries of happiness being heard.
I just stared at him nailed on the ground didn't know how to react. I am couldn't believed what was happening. I feel like floating and dreaming. He let out soft chuckles in tears as he scrouched down to me and supported and guided me stand.
"Yes, Love, I'll give you my Forever, Park Jongseong." He said giving me his words as he cried more.
I failed to suppressed the loud thankful sobs from so much happiness, when everything started to sink in to me, He said yes.
He said yes to forever with me.
I didn't know how happy I was. All I know is it was happiness and emotions I had never felt before rushing to me at all once. It was a kind of happiness I would never know existed if I did not feel it right now.
Heaven opened for me, and God answered my prayers. Everything with power blessed me and us. And all gifted me the person I could only ask for and I would only wish for in my entire life.
I wrapped him in my embrace as tight as I could, "I promise to love you with all my life. One, I love you. Love, Thank you for saying yes. I won't make you regret it." I whispered to him as I kissed his forehead.
I parted myself with him and slid our engagement ring on his ring finger. More tears threaded our cheeks as we watched that. He looked at me lovingly after. We just stared at each other eyes as I wiped his tears away.
He slowly wrapped his arms around my nape as he pulled me closer, sealing all gaps between us, and gently said. "There's no way I would regret marrying you, Jay. I also dreamed for this day to come," he said that triggering more tears on me, "I love you too, Jay, The most. I couldn't wait to spend forever with you. Love." he added. "Thank you, love, for everything, for being my end game. I would never want it another way around. My Jay." He continued trying every word to be whole.
I gently cupped his cheeks as I held his waist till our body touched. There were only peace and contentment smiles on our lips and warm tears of happiness that couldn't leave rolling our eyes and threading our cheeks.
We stared into each other's eyes that couldn't also hide the happiness and gladness despite the tears, as well as the love we have for each other.
"Me too, My One. I would never want it another way around," I whispered as I closed all gap between us and sealed his lips with mine. Molding it with passionate kisses full of love and happiness tonight and ahead of us.
To a forever together, Love. Thank you.