I left the apartment before Leah, to pick up Sam, Millie and Erin before our game against Arsenal. We were excited for the game as we knew it was going to be a big one. First match of the season against a strong team.
As we arrived at The Emirates, the buzz in the change room was met with nerves as well.
"You ready?" Millie asked me, as we sat together in the room.
"Yeah, I'm nervous."
"Me too, but nerves are good."
"Yeah, I guess," I replied back to her.
As we lined up on the pitch, before the match, I was greeted with a smile from Indi. She gave me a slight wave, and I returned it.
The game commenced, and within the first few minutes I felt something click in my chest. I felt the blood pumping too hard again, and I knew it wasn't good. I tried not to show it, but after five minutes, during a break in play, Millie came over.
"You okay?" she asked, concerned.
"Yeah, all good." I lied though. It wasn't all good. Something was wrong, but I knew I needed to push through.
In the first half, Arsenal got out to a lead through Viv but we came firing back with a goal from Erin. To most of our surprise, neither Sam nor Fran started, which I thought was an interesting choice by Emma. If she really wanted to win, I would have assumed Fran and Sam to start.
By half time, it was drawn, with both teams having one goal to their name. As I sat in the change room, Sam came beside me.
"You had a weird expression on your face. Are you sure you're alright?" she asked me.
"Yeah, just feeling weird, but all good." I reached for my bag, and pulled out my tablets while Sam was looking away and quickly popped two in my mouth. I hoped they would settle my over-beating chest.
As we went out, at the start of the second half, all I wanted was to play, without thinking about my heart. I wanted to play the way I knew how - with freedom and confidence.
After only a few minutes, I could no longer do it. I could no longer stand. I could no longer run. I could no longer speak. I could no longer breathe. I collapsed to the ground, my head banging against the grass. I was out. I was gone.
I felt people rushing over to me. I could see, under the lids of my eyes, both red and blue shirts surrounding me, and as I tried to open them, I was only greeted with the pain in my chest.
From what I could sense, I was rushed off the field and put straight into an ambulance. Jess subbed on for me, and the game continued. No one knew what was happening, and neither did I.
I woke up, a few hours later, to be greeted by Emma beside me. I was in the hospital, hooked up to an IV drip. As my eyes started to flutter open, Emma grabbed my hand.
"Ettie, are you awake?" Emma asked. I nodded my head, and as I regained consciousness, my heart had reduced in pain.
"Yeah, did we win?" I asked her.
"Don't worry about that."
"Did we win?" I asked her again. She shook her head.
"After you left, Mead scored twice on us, and Pernille did get a header to draw it back to 2-3 but it was too late. It was an unfortunate loss but that doesn't matter. Do you want to tell me what is happening?" I was so upset to have lost the game, I didn't even have time to process the fact I would have to tell her.
"I'm sorry it's all my fault."
"Ettie, it's not your fault. Losses are inevitable. Please tell me what is happening." I looked away, not wanting to make eye contact with my manager.
"I was diagnosed with cardiomyopathy a few years ago, and it's been playing up recently. I thought I could push through, but apparently not." She sighed slightly, still holding my hand.
"Juliette, you need to tell me these sorts of things. This is serious."
"I thought I had it all under control. I didn't want it to be something that defined me."
"It doesn't have to, but I'm your coach and when I see one of my players lose consciousness on the pitch I have a responsibility to know."
"I know, I know. I'm sorry."
"The girls are here," Emma started to say, "they want to come in."
"Who?"
"Sam, Millie and Fran," she replied, "oh and Leah Williamson. She said you guys were friends?"
"Bring Leah in please. Can you tell the other girls to wait just five minutes?" Emma nodded, and went out.
Leah soon came in, and came rushing beside me.
"Ett, are you alright?" She asked, concerned.
"I need to tell you something," I said to her. She grabbed my hand, worried.
"Yeah of course."
"I have a heart thing," I started to say, "I was diagnosed a few years ago."
"What is it?"
"Cardiomyopathy."
"Oh my god, Ettie."
"I'm sorry I didn't say anything, but I just couldn't deal with being treated like some fragile flower again."
"You have never been some fragile flower," she said to me.
"It's been playing up recently," I started to say, moving on, "but I thought I could manage it."
"Does Keira know?" She asked me. I nodded my head.
"Yeah, only a few people but it looks like it is about to become public knowledge very soon."
"You can work through it. There are ways to manage it."
"I know, and I have been, but its been weird recently. Since the Olympics, it hasn't felt right."
"Is that why you collapsed against Australia?"
"Yeah," I replied. She squeezed my hand again, and leant over, placing a kiss on my forehead.
"I'm sorry," she said to me, "I'm sorry you have to go through this."
"Don't be sorry," I replied to her, "I'm just happy you're here beside me." She smiled at this, and after a few minutes, I asked her to go and get Sam and the other girls.
As they came in, I had to tell them too. I had to tell them that I had been living with a serious heart condition for a few years and I was too stubborn to admit that I shouldn't have played.
They stayed with me for a few hours, before visiting time was over, and as they left the hospital, I got a call from Keira.
"Ettie! Oh my god, what happened?" Keira asked over the face time.
"Kie, don't freak out."
"Well, too late."
"I collapsed, but I'm okay. I'm in the hospital and everything is alright."
"Do you need me to come down?"
"No, no. It's okay. I should be leaving tomorrow."
"What happened?" I explained to Keira what I was feeling before the game, during and then after I collapsed. I told her that I was currently hooked up to multiple chords, and the doctor said I could leave the next morning. Keira was obviously pissed, very mad that I didn't go back to the doctor sooner.
After a while on the phone, I knew I had to turn off and go to bed. I knew I needed to rest and recoup. But before I turned my phone off, a notification hit up on my screen.
Star English Defender collapsed in yet another match - what is happening to Juliette Walsh?
Juliette Walsh, key England and Chelsea defender, collapsed in yet another match over the weekend. Walsh, who has been an integral player for England for the past seven years, was hurried off on a stretcher and taken to the hospital via an ambulance during Chelsea's first match of the 2021/2022 WSL season.
In the first few minutes of the second half, Walsh was seen falling to the ground, seemingly fainting. However, after some speculation, it was determined that this wasn't only a fainting episode. Despite no concrete evidence on why Walsh collapsed, this isn't the first time this has happened to the key player.
Only in the summer, when Great Britain was up against Australia in the quarter finals, Juliette Walsh was seen to collapse. In the 86th minute, Walsh, in almost identical circumstances, was seen falling to the ground, clutching her chest. However, it was said that Walsh suffered from "dehydration" and nothing else. But, this time, it was not stated what caused Walsh to collapse.
Walsh is an integral part of Chelsea's back line, and without her, Chelsea ended up falling short to Arsenal, after the thrilling 3-2 clash at The Emirates. Emma Hayes' Chelsea side will be without three points after the first round of the 2021/2022 season, after winning the title last time round.