🦋MIA🦋
As I stand before the mirror, I'm enveloped in the allure of my full black ensemble. The bandeau top hugs my figure, accentuating my curves. Its smooth, dark fabric contrasts elegantly elegantly against my fair skin drawing attention to my décolletage. The miniskirt snugly fits my waist adding a touch of edginess to the ensemble. Its glossy surface reflects the ambient light giving it a subtle sheen that catches the eye. My gaze drifts upwards and I'm captivated by the reflection of my long, straight black hair. Each strand is straightened allowing it to cascade down my back like a shimmering waterfall. The sleekness of my hair enhances its natural luster, making it appear healthy and radiant. As my fingers glide through the soft strands, I revel in the sensation, appreciating the effort I've put into creating its flawless look.
A pearly diamond choker rests gracefully against my neck, encrusted with sparkling gems that catch the light of the room. The choker adds a touch of glamour to my overall appearance elevating the ensemble from simple elegance to a captivating statement. As I take in my reflection, a smile tugs at the corners of my perfectly lined lips. The pearly choker adds a subtle glimmer to my smile, enhancing its radiance and bringing out the natural beauty of my features. Confidence emanates from within, as the combination of my outfit and styling choices allow my true self to shine through. The orientation week has finally come to an end and tonight marks the grand finale, a vibrant and energetic freshers party. Excitement courses through my veins as I prepare for the evening ahead, eager to immerse myself in the university experience.
Leaving the apartment, I join Tommy, Vin, Aria and Jodan in Tommy's black Ranger Rover. My brother, the charismatic and adventurous soul, takes charge of the evening, offering to drive us to the party. The scent of new leather mingles with the laughter and chatter that fills the air. We roll down the windows allowing a cool breeze to caress our faces as we embark on our journey to the heart of the campus. It's my first university party and I can't wait to enjoy myself tonight. I'm sure it's going to be a lot of fun.
Hearing loud music blasting from afar, Tommy shouts in excitement in the car, his voice blending with the the pulsating bass and I quickly cover my ears with my hands, cupping them tightly to muffle the irritating noise. He dances on his seat that transforms to a dance floor while laughing heartily as I gaze at him. Sometimes I wonder if this crazy guy with a whirlwind of energy is my brother but I still love him regardless. "Don't cause trouble tonight. We aren't in high school anymore and I won't cover for you this time." I warn him and he flashes a mischievous smile at me, going as far as winking just to annoy me. This has trouble written all over it.
Tommy and I are no longer carefree teenagers and the consequences of our actions hold weightier consequences. I won't be his accomplice this time because I'm no longer willing to shoulder the burden of protecting him from his own recklessness.
"No promises." He smiles wickedly as we enter the hall that's a riot of colour and movement, students filling the space with their bodies swaying and gyrating to the rhythm, their voices blending into a cacophony of laughter and shouts. The dance floor is a sea of bodies, each person lost in their own euphoria and surrendering to the intoxicating beats. Multicolored lights flush and flicker casting a mesmerising kaleidoscope of shades across the hall. The ceiling seems to disappear amidst a labyrinth of lasers, creating a celestial spectacle that adds to the otherworldly ambience as the towering speakers pump out a stream of music, the bass reverberating through the floor, rattling the very core of the hall.
The students themselves are a sight to behold. The girls shimmer in their glamorous outfits, their dresses adorned with sequins, glitter and lace, reflecting the dazzling lights. Their hair cascades in waves and curls, styled to perfection. The boys, not to be outdone, spot sharp and sleek blazers and tailored shirts, each outfit a statement and reflection of their desire to be noticed. Remembering Ava's text message, I leave the hall heading to the dormitory to pick her up. As I make my way through the corridors, various scents of perfumes invade my senses with each passing student leaving a trail of fragrance. Some of them are fixing their outfits, adjusting their makeup and ensuring every detail is in place. A mirror reflects their eager gazes as they strive to present their best selves. I can't help but be swept away by the energy and excitement filling the air.
Knocking on Ava's door it's opened seconds later and I enter the room closing it behind me. She's still in her grey cotton pyjamas yet I was expecting to find her glammed up and ready for the party. "My roommate has already left for the party." She mutters as I sit on her bed picking the novel she must have been reading and skimming through it. I love reading novels but stopped because I don't have time to spare for myself. "Help me pick an outfit, I have no idea what to wear for the party." She requests standing infront of her wardrobe that stands against one wall, its doors ajar revealing an array of clothes. A mixture of dresses, blouses and skirts hung neatly reflecting her taste.
Putting the novel aside I get up and we skim through her clothes together in search of the perfect outfit. I carefully observe the colours and patterns, searching for inspiration. Among the clothes, my eyes catch sight of a black v neck bodysuit that's sure to delicately hug her curves and accentuate her feminine silhouette in all the right places, the v-neckline drawing attention to her neckline and collarbone. To compliment the bodysuit I choose a pair of shorts that perfectly harmonize with the overall look, the length enough to elongate her toned legs. To compete the outfit I select a pair of white sneakers to add a casual and sporty vibe, contrasting beautifully with the sleekness of the bodysuit and shorts. As I lay the bodysuit, shorts and sneakers neatly on the bed, the ensemble comes together as a fashionable outfit. "What do you think about this one?"
Ava takes the clothes putting them on and sliding into the pair of sneakers before standing infront of the full length mirror, her eyes sparkling with delight as she takes in her reflection. "I love it." She takes a seat and I join her to assist with her makeup. With delicate precision I enhance her features, highlighting her stunning hazel eyes with a subtle smoking eyeshadow, coating her eyelashes with mascara to appear long and luscious. I brush a soft blush across her cheeks adding a natural flash and enhancing her radiant complexion. Turning my attention to her hair, I gently gather her long tresses weaving them into a low and loose bun at the nape of her neck, allowing a few strands of hair to flow gracefully framing her face. Ready, we step out of her room making our way to the party together.
Once we enter the hall, the scene unfolds before us like a like a wild, uninhibited carnival. The air is thick with a mixture of excitement and alcohol, its overpowering scent creating a pungent aroma in the room. The atmosphere is electric, charged with a contagious energy pulsating through every corner. Students of all shapes and sizes have filled the hall, their inhibitions cast aside for the night. Most of them are already drunk and wasted, stumbling clumsily and their laughter echoing off the walls as the music pounds and blasts in the huge speakers. Amidst the chaos, some brave souls have climbed on top of tables, using them as their dance floor with their tshirts scattered on the floor, their bare torsos glistening with sweat under the disco lights. Their spirits are united by the universal language of celebration. "This is one hell of a party." Ava chuckles as we navigate our way through the crowds heading to the drinks table with many bottles of various alcoholic beverages lined on it.
"It is." I reach for an unopened bottle of whiskey feeling the cool glass on my hand. The click of the cap being unscrewed releases a rich aroma of caramel, oak and hints of spice. Pouring the amber liquid into blue party cups, I hand over one to Ava and we make a toast, taking sips of the drinks while dancing together to the loud music. "Cheers to an unforgettable night." I exclaim, my voice barely audible over the pulsating music. Ava nods, a playful sparkle in her eyes state as we clink our cups toasting a second time.
Ava scrunches her face at the bitterness of her drink, choosing to add a bit of Sprite in it. She reaches for a nearby bottle of Sprite and with a quick pour, adds a splash of effervescent sweetness transforming her drink into a tantalizing concoction of contrasting flavours. Like the crazy people we both are and the positive vibes of the merry night, we sing along together to the songs at the top of our lungs as she grinds on me, the both of us swaying to the thumping music. We're growing to be good friends and I'm lucky to have met her because she's a nice, kind hearted and loving person.
We catch a glimpse of Jakoda and some girl making out heavily in a dark corner. There's too much going on there I can't tell if they're only making out. "Fucking shit, have mercy." I whisper amid laughter as he presses the girl against the wall, running his hands all over her body and ravaging her. The little dress she has on is barely covering her ass and thighs now. "That girl has no idea what she has gotten herself into."
"I know right, Jakoda is whole mess of hotness!" Ava shouts in my ear because of the loud music, whipping her hair and swaying from side to side clearly having the grand time of her life. "I heard that his dick game is on point and he's sure to leave your legs shaking, that's why the girls he sleeps with always go back to him for more. He's aggressive and primal in bed and it's such a fucking turn on. So I don't blame that girl. I would fuck him too if I get the chance."
Bursting out in laughter, Ava holds my hand as we shakes our hips to the beats of the music. "Do you really mean it that you would fuck him if you get the chance or is it the alcohol talking?" I can't help but ask and she squeals taking a sip of her drink.
Song after song, we dance together while sipping on our drinks and refilling our party cups, one after the other, forms of sweat cascading down our bodies and our hair a wild mess. Another guy is making out with a girl in the furthest corner, the both of them totally wasted. They're all over each other having completely forgotten where they are. "What a party." I laugh trailing my eyes around and Tommy coming to sight dancing with some girl. Atleast he's not causing trouble like he usually does.
Vin is also talking to two girls as they laugh from time to time, their full party cups in hand. Aria and Jodan are probably in a dark corner somewhere in here making out heavily or fucking the daylights out of each other. Those two are horny freaks who can't go a day without having sex.
One of Ava's friends joins us and with how they're gazing intensely at each other blushing and all, I excuse myself to give them privacy not wanting to be a third wheel. He whispers something in her ear and she giggles wrapping her arms around his neck as they dance, his hands sliding to her waist.
College and university parties are known to be wild and sometimes get out of control.
I am ready for a night of partying and drinking.
♤♤♤♤♤♤♤
Music.
Music is medicine and it's what I'm letting in to take over and drive away all the destructive thoughts I want to get rid off in my head. The beats, I feel them as my body sways slowly. All that's around me are a lot of students feeling the music just like me, the vibrations thumping on the floor and full party cups with bottles of Vodka, Whiskey, Brandy and Tequila in our hands, the bitter liquids taking it's effect on us.
Crying in the club by Camila Cabello blasts in the speakers, the bass reverberating through my body and thumping in perfect synchrony with my heartbeat as I lift the party cup to my mouth gulping down all the vodka, the bitter liquid sipping down my throat with a tingling burn. A hard chest presses against my back and we dance together swaying side to side to the beats of the music just as another guy comes infront of me. Wrapping my arms around his neck I pull him closer, dancing with the two guys as the songs keep changing. They keep sandwiched between them as I grind my body on both of them feeling so relaxed, carefree and weightless from everything. I'm losing myself in the loud music and drowning all my sorrows.
Not able to stay steady on my feet anymore I move away from the two guys, staggering out of the dance floor and picking another bottle of vodka on my way out. Leaning against the wall and chugging the bitter alcohol, I open my eyes wide trying to look around for my friends. I'm still not familiar with many students in this party, it's my first week in campus anyway. I'm already regretting drinking so much vodka. My morning tomorrow is going to be horrible.
I end up bumping on some students on my way out of the hall who curse at me but I pay no attention to them as I search helplessly for my friends. I can't even take a single step without swaying and losing my balance, my mind fuzzy. Leaning against the cold white painted wall I screw my eyes shut taking deep breaths. What am I even doing, I don't recognize myself anymore. I don't know who I am.
My ex boyfriend cheated on me twice with the same girl. Then he blamed it all on me, claiming that it was my fault because I was never good enough.
He broke my heart.
I broke up with him but it was still hurting. I pushed back all that pain and kept myself busy with work. I pretended that everything was okay and I'm still doing that. Everything that Lucas told me last night flood my mind once again filling my heart with so much pain. He was right even though I didn't want to admit it to myself.
I'm only a model because it's what my parents want, not what I want.
I also care too much about what people say and think of me.
For once in my life I just want to live freely without caring about what people will say.
People will talk whether you do good or bad.
I'm also constantly doubting myself and wondering if I'm good enough.
One of the people I trusted the most made me doubt myself. He made me feel that I'm not worth his time, love and commitment. I felt worthless.
I guess love isn't for everyone.
Some relationships destroy you instead of helping you grow.
These past years I've only been surviving and not living. Not wanting to keep thinking about my past anymore I rest my hand on the wall walking slowly towards the exit of the hall. I'm drunk and keep swaying I don't even know where I'm going.
Pushing some hair off my face I continue walking and hugging myself because of how cold it is out here. Looking around I notice I'm now in the garden I took a rest in on my first night here, so many lights illuminating it perfectly with students sitting on the wooden benches. Lucas is sitting on one of them with Malin and Jakoda busy talking and laughing their heads off. Staggering to where they are I drink the bitter spirit to drown my anger and sorrows as I stand right infront of him. He looks up and our eyes meet, his smile fading away instantly. "You were right, I'm not okay. Are you happy now. Are you happy now!" I shout as he gazes intently at me. "I'm sad because my ex boyfriend cheated on me and it still hurts so deeply I feel it suffocating me. I can't fucking breathe and I'm sad because I'm a model and I don't want to be one anymore. I'm sad because I don't even know what I'm doing. I don't know who I am."
Jakoda and Malin glance between Lucas and I before getting up and walking away, Lucas remaining silent, his eyes on me.
"I've lived my life being the perfect model, perfect daughter, perfect sister, perfect friend and it's so exhausting because I'm living my life for other people and not for me. I'm pretending to be someone I'm not because the real me is messed up, screwed and miserable." My voice breaks, the bottle of vodka slipping from my hands and hitting the ground, breaking into tiny pieces. "I walk around smiling but deep down my heart hurts so fucking bad. All I do is live for other people, giving them my all until now I have nothing left. I feel so drained and empty. I'm empty inside."
"The society has created this perception of me that I'm perfect and flawless because of my modelling career but it's a lie since I'm a mess, a huge mess. They've put standards on me, my body has to be slim and petite because to them that's what beauty is. My hair has to be styled in a particular way, I have to smile and laugh in a particular way and my skin has to be precisely in a specific way. They own me and dictate every aspect of my life, they're controlling me. They've made me a people pleaser hungry for their approval. They've me a puppet. You know there are days I can't even look at myself in the mirror because when I do, I hate what I see. When I look at myself in the mirror I hate the woman looking back at me. I'm living under the society's shadow and facade of idealized perfection and it's breaking me. I feel broken."
"I want to live my life freely. I want to let go of my past because the burden is so heavy it's weighing me down." Tears prick my eyes as my voice breaks more. "I don't want to survive anymore, I want to live. I want to live."
Not able to hold it in anymore I burst into tears slumping to the ground right infront of Lucas. My heart is aching as I close my eyes tightly, holding my breath to keep back the stinging tears. I'm drowning in pain and everything hurts so bad. I'm in so much pain.
I cry not being able to hold back. I want to cry it out until it doesn't hurt anymore.
Seconds turn to minutes with me still sitting on the grass weeping my heart out, Lucas infront of me, his eyes sorely on mine. He gets up crouching down next to me and wrapping his jacket around my shoulders to shield me from the harsh breeze of the night.
Then he kneels infront me and I look at him as he wipes away my tears in my eyes. "I want to tell you not to cry anymore but I can't." Gently he rubs my cheek with his thumb. "Cry it out and don't hold back. That bastard who cheated on you isn't worth your tears." He wipes the tears from my eyes again. "He lost a rare gem when he cheated and that's something he'll regret for the rest of his life."
"I know you see me as a weak person now." I whisper in between heavy breaths.
"Mia you are not weak. You are stronger than you think."
Lucas wraps his arms around me in a warm embrace as I cry against his chest, clinging to him. He doesn't move or say a word, all he does is hold me close to him. "I'm a mess." I murmur clutching onto his tshirt, tears streaming down my cheeks.
"We all are, in one way or another." I hear his soft voice that slowly calms me down. "I don't mind that you are mess. Infact you are a beautiful mess."
Minutes pass with us in the same position and in each other's arms.
Several minutes later he lets go of me, helping me up and I sit on the bench as he sits right next to me. Resting my head on his shoulder, I hug his jacket that's still on me. "You look like a chipmunk now." Lucas blurts out and I laugh pushing him away. "That's what I'll be calling you. Chipmunk." He laughs at me, revealing his well set of white teeth.
"Don't call me that." I warn him and we both laugh leaning on each other.
"Okay chipmunk." Lucas nudges me, laughing even more.
"You're still the same irritating guy I met the first time."
"And you're still the same annoying girl I met the first time."
Lucas grasps my chin making me look at him and I laugh looking away. His eyes are sharp and piercing it's hard to look back at him for long and hold his gaze without blushing. "Look at me." He states and I finally look at him, his eyes slowly burning their way into me. "This is your life so live it the way you want. Go crazy because we only get one chance. Be happy, do what you love and make every second count. There's nothing wrong with being happy and choosing yourself. There's nothing wrong with making yourself the first priority. What's wrong is pretending to be someone you're not. Fight for your happiness and wellbeing because Mia the only person who will always be there for you is YOU. So take charge of your life and make it the best story in the world."
"You are the artist of your life, don't give the paint brush to anyone else."
Gently he pulls me to my feet and holds my hand. "Can you walk?"
"Yes." Taking a single step I end up failing because I'm still drunk.
"I guess that's a no then." He carries me bridal style to the car before I can get the chance to object, laying me gently on the passenger seat. "Call your friends, I can't leave you here all alone." Picking my phone I call Vin who comes over glancing at me in confusion and worry. "Take care of yourself." Lucas whispers to me before walking away.
"I'm confused. Who is that guy and why're your eyes puffy. Have you been crying?" Vin asks and I sigh heavily closing my eyes in exhaustion. Where do I even start. "Do I need to beat someone up, and by someone I mean him?"
"No."
The backseat door opens and it's Tommy getting in making me sigh a second time. This is going to be a long ride for me now. "Mia you always pick the crazy ones, every fucking time and this one is the craziest. You're excellent in picking crazy people and that guy is probably worse. He's bad news and I hope you never get an I told you so from me. You're a grown up and I trust you to take care of yourself and be careful but one mistake from him and he's out. Jodan, Vin and I won't go easy on him."
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
SONG
♥️CRYING IN THE CLUB - CAMILLA CABELLO♥️
I included this song in this chapter to portray the aftermath of Mia's painful breakup. It explores the conflicting emotions Mia is experiencing during her healing process. From heartache to sadness to empowerment she craves for. She's seeking solace and a release on the dance floor, using the club, or this time hall, as a space to let go of her pain and find liberation. The lyrics "Ain't no crying in the club, let the beat carry your tears as they fall, baby" shows finding solace and strength through music and dancing. Music has a transformative power to heal and overcome emotional struggles.
AUTHOR'S RANT.
Quote of the chapter.
♥️STAY STRONG BECAUSE EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY♥️