I was in the middle of reading a book when I heard a knock at my door and opened it to see Tony at the other end of it, 'What's up Tony', I ask and watch him put his hands out to me, 'I wanted to give you a little something as a thank you for the suit', he says and I take it and shrug, 'I didn't need a gift Tony, I only did it because I was bored', I explain and watch him smile.
'Well, it's for a thank you anyway', he says, 'and also acts as a birthday gifts, so it was the least I could do with all your hard work', he adds and I nod and sigh to myself.
'Well, thanks, I appreciate it all the same', I said and this time he gives me a curt nod and hands me another box I never saw, 'here, Pepper picked out a dress', he says and I'm confused and look at him, 'For what', I ask.
'I'm hosting a small party for your birthday', he replies and I snap my eyes back to him and sigh again, 'you don't have to do that Tony, besides, I don't need a party, I hate my birthday anyway', I said.
'Oh', he says, 'I've already set it up, so a lot of guests are already here, but I'll cancel it', he adds and I sigh to myself, if he's already set it up I don't want him cancelling, he must have spent a lot of money on the event and the one thing I hate is wasting someone else's money.
'I'll go, but only for thirty minutes', I said and watch him smile and then nod, 'Okay', he says and then makes a move to put his hand on my shoulder but I flinch away from him which makes him pause and look at me, 'sorry, I don't like people touching me', I said and he slowly puts his hand back to his side.
'Sorry, I didn't know', he says.
'It's fine, you didn't know', I said and then I watch him take a step back from me, 'I'll see you at the party then', he says and when I give him a curt nod, I wait until he disappears, that I close the door and fall into my bed.
________
*Steve POV*
I was in a match of cards with Nat, Loki, Sam and Vision whilst Thor and Pietro played their new video game beside us and Wanda busied herself in the kitchen, even though we tell her to leave the cooking, she still goes out of her way to make something, but I think it's just to keep herself occupies and she doesn't have to think to much.
'Tony wanna join', Nat says, breaking me out of thought as I look over at him whilst he walks over, 'No, but enjoy the game', he replies and they go back to placing their cards on the table, 'something wrong', I ask, because I can see the concern on his face.
'Did you Y/n doesn't like being touched', he says and I sigh to myself and look at him, 'how did you not know, it's obvious', Nat tells him before I could respond.
'Well, I'm not in the compound to know what happens here', he says and I shake my head a little, 'Yes, she doesn't like being touched', I confirm for him.
'Why', he questioned.
'Coulson explained to me that she'd had a rough life', I start, 'He explained that she was tortured, beaten, and sexually assaulted', I add whilst they all pause and looked at me in shock, 'what', Tony questioned.
'I know, she's been through a lot and because she's had trauma from it and some memories are missing, I think it's just an instinct that she doesn't like to be touched', I explained.
'Shit, he should've told us', he says as I nod, 'He told me and made me promise to look after her so I did, I'm not going to lie when I say she has got used to some of us, but over time, it'll progress', I said as he nods.
'Okay, it would've been easier to tell me sooner but it's fine', he says as I look back at my cards when Loki shuffled a new deck, 'I hosted a party, get ready', he said whilst I sighed, 'I thought your partying days we're over Tony', I said as he looked at me, 'Just because I don't party, doesn't mean I've stopped', he says as we chuckled, 'Anyway, it's not for me, it's for Y/n, it was her birthday, so might as well do something to cheer her up', he says as I sighed, 'Tony, you shouldn't have done that, she hates her birthday', I said.
'Why', he questioned.
'Because her mother died on the day of her birth', Thor blurted out, whilst continuing to play with his video game and I just shook my head, 'Thor, a little more lenient next time', I said.
'Shit, really', he says as I nod, '...I can't cancel it now then, I've already set it up', he implied.
*End of POV*
________
I heard a knock on my door again and sighed whilst I opened it and saw Bucky at the other end of it, which made me glad because I couldn't be bothered with anymore surprises Tony planned today, I didn't want it and just needed people to leave me alone, but that won't happen now, I don't want to ruin his planned out party and not go, it would be rude, the food would go to waist, and the amount of money he spent planning the whole thing, and I didn't want that.
When I got out of thought, I looked at Bucky as his eyes traveled down my body and I sigh, 'Pepper picked it out', I said and his eyes fall back on mine, 'you hate it', he says before I could say anything else and I pause and watch him, how did he know that, I question to myself.
'I uhm...', I stutter and sigh, 'don't', I said.
'You should change, so your more comfortable', he suggests and I shake my head, 'I don't have anything else', I said and then I'm watching the wheels in his head spin and I wondered what he was thinking about, 'stay here, I'll be back', he instructs and without arguing, I only nod and do as I'm told, at least then I don't have to be at the party for another couple of hours then.
________
I don't know why Bucky got me a dress, but it was more comfortable then the dress Pepper picked out for me, it was nice too but I didn't like how it squeezed me and how short it was, but at least with Bucky's, his was long and flowy and had space for me to breathe in, I don't know how people wear such tight clothes, but I wasn't one of them to like something like that, so I was glad to wear Bucky's, his was more then comfortable anyway.
'Thanks, I like this one better', I tell him when I emerge from the bathroom and see his lips perk up into a smile, 'your welcome', he replies and I sit on the bed and grab the flat's he also got me.
'Here', Bucky says and I look up at him, towering over me, 'let me help', he adds and then I'm watching him kneel infront of me and then takes one of the shoes.
Before he touched me, I watch him look at me, 'can I', he asks and I slowly nod, no one's ever asked if they could touch me before, but I liked that he asked permission first and when his hand was only inches away from my leg, I closed the gap and move my leg into his touch and it's then he slips the shoe on, along with the other.
'Thank you', I said and smooth a hand over the dress and look at Bucky who gave me a charming and handsome smile, it made something take flight in the pit of my stomach and I only give him a small smile back.
What was that, the voice asks, I don't know, I reply.
'Shall we go', he says and then stands to his full length and I follow the process and nod, 'yeah', I said and before I make a move to leave, I watch him offer his arm to me and I look at him, then the arm, then him and once I knew what he was silently asking, I took his arm without protest and we made our way out.
'You don't have to go you know', Bucky tells me and I sigh again, 'I don't, but Tony set it up and I don't want it going to waist', I said and then shrug my shoulders, 'I'm only going for thirty minutes, then I'm leaving and coming back up', I say.
'Okay, you can always leave earlier if you want to', he suggest and I only nod, 'I'll see', I said and see him smile again which makes me sigh, 'Stop doing that', I mutter.
'Do what', he asks with a smile still plastered on his face and I groan, 'Ugh', I said and it makes him chuckle, which catches me of guard because at this point, I've only seen him smile and laugh to himself, so when I heard it, it was even more mischievous and charming then I imagined and before I could say anything else, I heard the loud music, people cheering, the smell of food and when we got closer I see the vibrant bustling of people shifting through the room, dancing and talking which made me sigh.
I hate this, I said.
Me too, the voice replies as we make our way through the room, I don't even think people knew what they we're doing, they we're just stumbling around places, and I quickly grasped onto Bucky tighter and moved closer to him, so no one touched or came near me, 'sorry', I said after realising I dug my nails in to deep and stepped onto his foot, 'It's okay', he replied and I look at him.
________
I settles myself by the bar and had some drinks whilst I stared at the clock, only two more minutes, then I'm going up, I thought and sipped on my beverage, 'Hi Y/n', I heard the familiar voice and when I turned around, it confirmed I didn't imagine it, 'Yo-yo', I said, 'what are you doing here', I ask and she smiles so big it reaches ear to ear, 'I came to see you of course', she says, 'I used some vacation days and came down to see you', she adds and then plops herself down into a seat beside me, 'Happy Birthday by the way', she says.
'Thank you', I said as she waved to the bartender, 'How are you, how's everyone else', I ask.
'I'm really good, and the team is fine too', she replies and I nod, 'good', I said, 'is anyone else here', I ask.
'Just me', she simply answered, 'Oh, and May too, I don't want to forget about her', she says as I laughed to myself, '...she should be coming up now', she implied as I nod again, 'speaking off', she trails off and points towards something, so when I follow the direction, I smile again, 'May, how are you', I ask.
'I'm okay, how are you', she asks and then takes a seat at the other end of me, 'I'm good too', I said and before I could say anything else, Yo-yo interrupts, 'I'm going to go put a request to the DJ, I'll be right back', she yells over the crowd and music and me and May laugh to ourselves until she disappears into the crowd.
'You haven't called', I said whilst she grabs her beer and nods this time, 'I've been busy', she says, 'we all have', she adds and I internally agree with her, she is right, we have.
'So', I begin with a sigh, 'when do you think I'll be able to come back', I said whilst she took a pull of her drink and looked over at me, 'what do you mean', she asked as I sigh to myself again, 'I mean, when do I get to come back to the team, it just', I sigh again, '...it feels like I don't belong here', I said whilst the bartender filled my drink too, 'don't you remember Y/n, that's how you felt with our team too', she says and I nod to myself, I did, but I'm lonely and I'm realising how much I don't like change.
'I know, it's just that I would always have something to do, and it just... I don't know, it feels like I don't fit in here', I said.
'You've only been here for almost a year Y/n, give it a chance', she says as I sighed once again and nod, 'is Coulson still mad at me for what I did last time', I asked as she shook her head and looked at me, 'honestly, when you did what you did, I knew you did the right thing, even though everyone else was blind sighted by that, I knew you did it, to do some good, yeah the team had no idea what you we're going to do, but truthfully, you saved a lot of lives that day, even if you haven't seen that yourself', she explained as I took a sip of my drink, '...besides, Coulson isn't mad, actually, he's proud of you to say the least, even if it meant we'd lose you, he was the first one to believe in you and he did, even when you didn't, so when you crashed the bus and he was angry that he or anyone else wouldn't see you again, later on, he believed that it was something that you had to do', she says as I nod.
'I know, I just, I didn't want to disappoint him, I just, I wanted to do it for me', I said as she smiled a little, 'and you didn't disappoint him, besides, he's never going to admit it, but he see's you as a daughter he never had', she says as I look at her, 'really', I said as she nods, 'little cliché right', she implied as I laugh to myself again.
'Oh uhm, this must be the team', I heard Yo-yo's voice as I look behind me and realised they we're stood behind me whilst I nod, 'Mmm, it is', I said as she walked over to them, 'I'm Yo-yo', she introduced and Pietro is the first to shake her hand whilst everyone else did to, 'is you name actually Yo-yo', Pietro asked as she shook her head, 'No, my name's Elena, but now, people call me Yo-yo', she replied whilst her hand parts from Sam's, 'why', he questioned as she looked back at me, 'shall I show them Y/n', she says as I nod, 'yeah, if you want to', I said.
The team gave Yo-yo there undivided attention, but my eyes we're on Bucky who I caught staring at me first and just like the first day I met him, he had a brooding look on his face, like he wasn't happy with something and when I heard Loki and Thor cheer from something, we still didn't break contact until Yo-yo nudged me and I had to peel my eyes away and look at her, she didn't say anything though, I think she just nudged me by accident, so when I went back to look at Bucky, he was already walking away from us.
'Duty calls', I heard May and look over at her and see a phone clutched in her hand, 'we're being called back', she says to Yo-yo, and when I say my goodbye first, I move around the team whilst they say their goodbye too and quickly make my way down the hall and into an empty corridor where I saw Bucky and made my way to him.
'Where are you going', I ask and when he stops and looks at me, I see him stewing instead, 'For a walk, did you need something', he says.
'I thought you said you'd stay until I left', I said because he did promise and I don't know why that promise felt so reassuring to me, but it did and I just wanted him by myside.
'I did', he confirms, 'do you want me to stay', he asks and I stare at him for a moment and then nod, 'I do', I said and then I watch him walk back down, 'uhm, I was actually going to leave the party now', I tell him and he turns back around to me, 'come on then, I'll drop you off to your door', he says and then we fall into step, I don't know why the gesture felt so nice, seeing as we practically live in the compound and there isn't any threat here, but I liked that he was dropping me off there.
When we reached my door, I opened it and walked in, 'Y/n', he calls out and I turn to him whilst he meet's my eyes, 'I didn't really mean it you know', he states and I'm confused, 'I was being an idiot and said things I shouldn't have, you do belong here, with us', he says and I stare at him, I remember the day clearly, we we're at each other's throat's again and shouting about something I can't remember, but what he said, had stuck with me.
You don't belong here, or anywhere else for that matter.
He shouted it to me, and it's then my hand flew across his cheek, that I saw how much he regretted saying that to me, 'Bucky', I call out when he makes a move to leave and he turns to look at me, 'we both said things we regretted', I said, 'I don't wish you we're dead', I say, because I don't and it was just the heat of the moment when he said what he said to me first.
'I only reacted the way I did because I knew you we're right', I said, 'I don't belong here, I never really fit in anywhere, so when I joined Coulson, some part of me did and I miss not being around my old team because then I felt less lonely', I say.
'I wasn't right, I was wrong in fact', he implies, 'you're the only other person I like here and I feel less lonely when I'm with...', he trails off, then begins again, 'I just didn't understand you that's all, now that I do, it's nice to have you around, because at least I can see you and I know you're the best part of my day', he says and I suck in a breath and stare at him, he's the best part of my day too.
'I'll...', he starts again, but I cut him off when I inadvertently push off of my heal and kiss him, it was a surprise to both of us, but he didn't push away, instead he steadied me and opened his mouth when his tongue danced with my own and I could taste the pancakes on his tongue, which meant he's been going to his favourite diner and ordering piles of pancakes, I know how much he loves those.
When we pulled away, my forehead met his as I open my eyes to see him already starting at me and then I looked down at his lips and I'm suddenly wanted more.
'You've been eating pancakes', I said and when I look up at him and waited for some sort of reaction or response, we quickly pulled apart when the sound of footsteps filled the hallway and I quickly grab his hand, pull him in and close the door.
When there was a knock, I put my hand on Bucky's mouth and look at him, 'talk, and I kill you', I warn him and see the amusement behind his eyes whilst there's a second knock, so I sigh and opened the door with my free hand and see Tony, 'It's not another party is it Tony', I said and watch him smile and shake his head.
'It isn't', he confirms and then hold a small square box out for me, 'I don't need any more gifts Tony', I said.
'This one you'll like', he says and I sigh and open the top with my thumb to see a necklace, more specifically a silver pendant when I picket it out and opened it, 'It's your mom's fingerprint, to remember her by', he states and I snap my eyes back to him whilst my other hand slips from Bucky's mouth, 'I didn't know about your mom, so I'm sorry', he says and then walks away.
When Bucky squeezes my hand, I get out of my trance and look back at him, 'Tony', I call out and he looks back at me, 'thank you', I said and he gives me a smile and a curt nod before leaving again.
I ran my finger across the print and sighed to myself, 'are you alright', Bucky asks and I nod, 'I'm fine', I said and then sit on the bed and drop my hands into my lap.
'Let's make a promise', he states and I watch when he kneels infront of me, 'that we tell each other if we're not fine', he says and after a moment, I nod to the idea, 'are you okay', he repeats again and this time I shake my head and sigh to myself again, 'I just...', I start, 'Miss her', I finish and before he could tell me anything else, I involuntarily leaned in and hugged him, I don't know why I did it, but he felt comfortable and I just need a hug, which he reciprocated when he squeezed me back.
________
I was out on the balcony by myself and stared at my necklace that Tony had gifted me an hour ago, I don't know how he knew or when he made it, but I loved it, now I had something to remember her by, and something to treasure so she's always with me and I don't have a sinking hole in my heart.
We'll always miss her, the voice says and I nod, I know we will, I said.
Maybe, she began again but was cut off when something, more specifically someone, took a hold of my hair and yanked my head so back that I screamed and when I was ready to fight who ever had me in their grasp, I was over powered by some other people and before I know I'm pinned to the ground by several people.
'Get off of me', I yell and struggled, but no amount of trying to manoeuvre myself to get out of this would work and when I wanted to scream again, one of the men put a hand over my mouth to silence me and it's then I lock eyes with the bastard.
*Bucky POV*
I grabbed a plate of food for myself and Y/n and went over to the fridge, the team we're eating whatever was left over from the party, so I figured Y/n would like some too, 'who's the second plate for', Nat asks as I grab some water bottles and turn and look at her, 'No one', I said, 'I'm really hungry, so I want extra', I lie to them, because even though mine and Y/n's relationship has changed and progressed now, the team didn't need to know that, but the look they we're exchanging told me enough.
'Okay, we believe you', Sam says whilst I roll my eyes and when I take the plates and make a move to leave I suddenly heard my name, but not aloud, through my head, 'did you hear that', I said and look at the team who looked at me again, 'hear what', Steve asks and before I could answer, I hear it again, but clearer, 'you really don't hear...', I began but dropped the plates on the ground when a loud blood curdling scream rang in my head.
'What the hell is that', Pietro says and I look over to see them all covering their ears, 'Y/n', I said when I heard my name again and quickly ran out to find her, but I already knew where she was, I had left her on the balcony and after I heard her stomach growl I came down to get us both something to eat, she needed something to eat anyway, I noticed she never had much so I wanted to get something for her that I know she'd like to eat.
As soon as I got to the top floor and kicked down the door, I felt my blood boil over and my hands fisted into a ball as I ran out and fought them off of her whilst the team helped.
I was pissed when I heard the unknown man's voice, he said something that pissed me off and just when I thought I wouldn't be killing anyone again, my anger took hold as I grabbed him and threw him across the balcony which shattered the glass behind him and he was falling a hundred feet or more to his death.
'Buck', Steve said as I looked at him, 'He deserved it', I said whilst turning around and looking for Y/n, who was just here a second ago, 'Y/n', Nat called out before I could.
'Check inside, she might have ran in', Wanda suggested as they piled in after her, and when I was just about to take the exit, I stopped when I heard a familiar whimper, someone crying as I looked over to the corner of the balcony and saw nothing but darkness, 'Y/n', I called out as I slowly walked over.
I said her name, but I couldn't see anything or anyone, it was like she was in a bubble of darkness and she kept herself there and just when I put out my hands, I felt something rumble and stepped back a little, 'Y/n', I called out to her again, 'let me in Doll, I'm right here', I said, whilst realising something could be hiding her, like some sort of power, I mean it is possible.
'Y/n, it's me, it's Bucky, can you let me in', I whispered as I put my hand out again whilst it expanded when I noticed my arm disappearing first and then I finally saw her, 'why didn't you hear me', she whispered as I gave her a warm smile and nod, 'I heard you Doll... I heard you'.
I kneeled beside her, making sure I didn't startle her further then she was right now, 'I know you don't like to be touched and that's okay... but your safe now... they tried to destroy you by taking your pride and your strength, but those things cannot be taken... not from you... Let me help you', I said, as her eye turned glossy again and I reached my hand out to her.
I watch her hesitated first and then takes my hand with her own trembling hands whilst her other hand grabbed onto my collar and pulled me closer, 'I hate you, why didn't you listen to me', she breathed against my ear as I wrap my arms around her, 'I heard you Doll, I promise not to leave you again', I said as she hugged me closer and I sighed under my breath, 'let's go get you cleaned up', I whispered and before I stand up, I take my jacket off first, wrap her in it and stand to my full length whilst she rests her head on my shoulder and buries herself deeper into my jacket.
When I turned around, I looked back down at her again, 'I can only move when you take this shield down', I tell her and she shook her head and squeezed me tighter, 'please, Doll, let me help you', I whispered against her ear, 'I promise I'll protect you now', I say and just when I thought I wouldn't get a reply out of her, it disappeared as I smiled to myself and when I looked up, I saw the whole team stood infront of us whilst they each stare at her, 'she'll be okay', I tell them because I know she will, she's the strongest person I've ever met, so I know she'll be fine.