"Hey"
Kris turned his head, slightly surprised when his shoulder was lightly touched. He furrowed his brow. “Xiao Luna?”
"I called you a long time ago but you didn't hear it"
Kris took off his earphones and let them hang around his neck. He looked at his ex-wife.
"Has it been a month?"
“My work gets done faster”
Kris nodded. Both are now in front of Kris' house. Kris opened the gate of his house and the two walked together towards the entrance. Kris pressed a combination of numbers which was the birth date of his only son.
"Come in," said Kris curtly. The woman entered Kris' house which always felt cold to her. She sat on a single sofa.
“Wu Shi Xun!!” he called to his son who immediately answered. Before long, the silhouette of a five year old child appeared. He jogged down the stairs.
"PAPAA IS COMING BACK?!" He said cheerfully. But until the last step, Sehun froze. He saw his mother was there and smiled at him.
"I'm home, Hunnie" she said which changed his wide smile into a thin smile.
"Welcome back, mama" he said then approached the woman who was stretching her arms. Sehun hugged the woman who had given birth to him.
It was warm, but there was an emptiness in his heart. He looked at his mother and smiled faintly as he tidied his mother's slightly messy hair.
“Mama picks up Hunnie to come home”
“Isn't here also my home?”
Luna choked on her own saliva. Sehun is right. Kris' house is his home too, but...
"Mama won your custody, you are back with mama, if Papa is not busy, papa will visit Beijing" Kris said while sitting on a single sofa after changing his shirt with a T-shirt.
Luna seems surprised by Kris's attitude about 'custodial rights'. Sehun is only five years old, according to Luna that word is a heavy word and Sehun may not be able to accept it.
“Am I a trophy? Then what if mama won custody of Hunnie? Hunnie can't play with papa?"
Luna is now looking at Sehun who looks at Kris with deep disappointment. Kris himself didn't look at Sehun, he focused on his ipad. Luna took a deep breath.
"It's not like that, dear .." said Luna, trying to answer the son's curiosity. "Until Hunnie grows up, Hunnie is mom's responsibility, later, when you grow up, if Hunnie wants to live with papa, Hunnie can go anyway"
Sehun sighed and sat on the sofa opposite his mother. He smiled faintly.
"Hunnie is an adult," Sehun said while holding his face. He looked at his father and then his mother.
"Hunnie, you're only five years old, remember?" said his mother who made Sehun laugh a little.
“But shouldn't a kid live with papa and mama? Should papa and mama pay attention to this kid? Hunnie doesn't accept such attention, then Hunnie is not a kid” he said which made Luna look at him with more surprise.
“Daddy and Mommy don't treat Hunnie like a child, why do you still think of Hunnie as a child? Hunnie is all grown up”
“I can wear my own school uniform, I can come down from the apartment building to wait for the school bus by myself. I can bake my own bread. I can do the my homework on my own. I can sleep alone. I don't get any help from mama and papa. Hunnie is an adult,." he said long.
Luna glazed. He walked over to Sehun and rubbed his head. "I'm sorry, okay? Mama promises not to work until I lose track of time”
Sehun was silent. He looked at his mother and sighed. “All of Hunnie's school friends live with their mom and dad. And every time there is an art performance, their mama and papa come. But hunnie? Every time Hunnie performs, only Grandma comes."
"Hunnie—
"I hate my life that is always alone, and I hate you guys who always treat me like a child"
"You are a child-
"Then what has papa given to this little boy?"
Kris furrowed his brows. There seems to be something wrong with his son's brain.
“Wu Shixun—
“Okay, Hunnie will come home with you. But tomorrow, ma, Hunnie is tired. I want to sleep now" he said and ran to his own room, which was never occupied by him.
Luna rubbed her face, a soft sob could be heard. Kris looked at him and took a deep breath.
"I'll call a psychiatrist" Kris said then got up to take his cell phone which he had previously charged.
“Sehun is not crazy”
"Yeah, he might need a friend to talk to"
"He owns us"
Kris laughed sarcastically. "There's no us in his life, Luna. There's only you, and me. Two different individuals who become his papa and mama. And it's bad luck for Sehun, who is smart, to have me as his parent," said Kris and then went to call a psychiatrist who handled his psychological problems first.
Luna ruffled her hair. "It's all because of you," he said hoarsely.
"Because of your selfishness. Because of you. Because you don't want to let go of your own pleasure," said Luna firmly and then went upstairs to approach Sehun.
Kris sat back on the single sofa and closed his eyes. Tao was there, ever since. He is always invisible whenever Kris and Luna are arguing like this.
"You know that Wu mama often complains that Sehun has trouble sleeping, right, boss?"
Kris was massaging his temples, looking at Tao who seemed to be staring at him deeply.
“He is only five years old. His topic of conversation was about love, and his thoughts kept telling him that he had grown up. That's not normal, Kris Ge."
"That's why I called a psychiatrist—
“And did you get better after seeing a psychiatrist? Will your insomnia be helped?”
Luna entered Sehun's room and found Sehun fast asleep. His breathing is regular.
She approached him, and furrowed her brows when she now saw a tattered piece of paper that was in Sehun's arms. She pulled it slowly, intending to take it.
She held his breath for five seconds before finally returning to normal. Luna knows Chanyeol's name, as well as his face in the photo. A name that Kris has been talking about several times in his sleep.
"Are you going to throw it away?" His voice was hoarse, softly holding back tears and pleading.
Luna looked at Sehun who was different from his voice, his face was so flat and his eyes were now staring at him blankly.
"Mama, don't throw away the paper," he said.
"Hunnie feels comfortable sleeping by hugging it" Sehun said honestly.
Luna looked at her son then returned the paper to him. Sehun grabbed it and hugged it.
"I'm sorry, Ma..."
"Why?"
"Hunnie's words must have hurt mama earlier," he said in a low voice. "I'm sorry, mom..."
Luna was crying. Her tears fell, she lay down beside her little Sehun and hugged him tightly.
"Mama is wrong, I'm sorry, " she said, "Mama has failed to be a good mother"
"Mama is fine.. it's just that- I regrets my condition that I can't be with papa and mama"
Luna rubbed her son's head then kissed his forehead. She rubbed the back of her son who was lying on his side facing her.
"Have you met Chanyeol before?"
"No, papa doesn't want to find and meet him" Sehun said slowly, "Have you ever met him?"
"Never. Honestly, I'm curious what Park Chanyeol looks like," said his mother. "Mama just saw a few pictures" she said honestly.
"But he seems to be a good person," said Luna sincerely. "His smile looks warm," she said, pointing at Chanyeol's smile at the shabby photo.
"Can hunnie love him?"
Luna looked at her son with raised eyebrows, Sehun smiled faintly.
“Papa smiled very sweetly and warmly. Even papa's eyes come alive when Hunnie mentions Chanyeol's name, or when papa tells his story with Chanyeol."
Luna chuckled. Covering her broken heart. She kissed Sehun's forehead and nodded. "Of course you can love him.. Hunnie is free to choose who you want to love..."
Sehun looked at Luna then hugged her tightly with his eyes closed. "I love you, mama.. You are the best mama" he said with a thin smile.
The sentence that made Luna cry silently. She hugged Sehun back and rubbed his head.
“Sleep well baby boy.. I love you forever”
Kris smoked his second cigarette. He stood on the balcony of the house near Sehun's room.
Sehun's door opened. Luna looked at Kris who was looking at her. She walked over to Kris and stood beside him.
The night wind blows cold. Kris went to Sehun's room to take the blanket stock from Sehun's closet, then returned to Luna's side and draped the blanket over the shoulder of the woman who was his wife.
“You told about Chanyeol to Hunnie?”
"Yes. That kid is really good at coercing me.”
Luna chuckled. Imagining Kris and Sehun arguing because they are both equally stubborn.
"If I could love you everything would be easier, wouldn't it?"
Luna looked at Kris. "I don't even want to imagine it, because the result will still be zero. No?"
"Don't say the word 'if' that easy, Kris," said Luna trying to remind.
"Why?"
Luna looked at Kris and let out a long breath. “Instead of thinking if only you could love me. Why don't you use the word if to think about it?”
Kris looked at Luna who was now patting his shoulder. "What if he's there, looking up at the same sky as you, admiring the same stars as you, missing you, and expecting you to come see him and say you love him and then propose to him and live with him?"
Kris furrowed his brows. "That's only if" said Kris in his cold voice -again-. Luna sighed.
"There's every possibility in the word If, Wu Yifan," She said as she turned around. "I borrowed one of your rooms" she said then left.
"You're okay saying that?"
Luna turned and smiled faintly when her eyes met Kris'.
"Kris, you didn't even turn around when I was crying begging you to love me"
"Then?"
"I won't do anything like that again. I'm an adult. I know how to love you in silence. And my pain? It's not something you need to think about." She said and walked away.
“About Sehun—” he added, “He never met Chanyeol. He didn't know what Chanyeol was like. But with him saying that name, you shine again, Kris”
"Maybe Sehun is the thread that will bring you two back together"