TW: mention of depression and depressive episode.
——
Azriel POV
No one had spoken to Briar. She hadn't come out of her room for four days now. She barely ate and his shadows told him when she cried.
He could feel it too, somehow.
Feyre and Mor had tried to talk to her, but she only answered their questions with nods. Rhys and Azriel stayed out of her room. Azriel was not sure what to say to her.
Rhys hadn't told him what exactly happened to her. He kept her secret safe, which Azriel appreciated.
Something in her got triggered and pulled her back into a dark place.
Azriel's shadows hadn't warned him about any nightmares, but he could feel something was off.
He was now in the training ring, with Cassian. Rhys had trained with them earlier, but had to get back to babysitting his son, Feyre being off to her painting classes.
It was already getting late. They had been using each other as punching bags for hours now.
Cassian called it off, even though Azriel still felt very frustrated. He didn't know why.
Cassian grabbed a bottle of water and tossed it over to Azriel.
"You can try to talk to her." he said.
Azriel almost spit out his water, "Why would you think I want to talk to her?"
"It's pretty obvious. You have been off since the incident." Cassian said.
Azriel didn't say anything back.
Nesta came walking into the ring, eyes fixed on Cassian. She just pulled him with her.
Cassian threw a wink over his shoulder and went off to doing god knows what.
——
Azriel flew back to the river house, getting into the bath quickly and changing into more comfortable clothes.
The day after the incident, he had searched for Briar's father and brother. He got home with nothing. One of the things that made him frustrated.
Yesterday, he had done the same thing. He had only found an old fire, but it could be from anyone.
Rhys had told him he hadn't heard anything from Keir either.
Azriel made his way out of his room, now facing Briar's door. Something told him to go inside.
He knocked twice, waiting for an answer.
No one opened the door.
"Briar?" he asked, hoping she would hear him.
He waited, but no one came.
He almost felt disappointed as he turned away. Just before he wanted to walk away, he heard the door lock open. Briar opened the door.
She was wearing a sweater and the same pair of sweatpants she had been wearing for days. Her hair was tied back and there were dark circles under her eyes. Her face was pale. Way too pale.
She was thin, thinner than she already was.
"May I come in?" Azriel asked.
Her face was blank, no emotions written on it. He could see the pain and sadness in her eyes.
She let Azriel close the door while she climbed back into her bed.
Azriel looked around the room. He was surprised to find it this clean.
Briar laid on her side, facing the window. Azriel sat down on one of the chairs next to her bed.
She was now facing him, but avoided his eyes.
"Are you feeling better?" he tried. He knew he wasn't very good with his words, but it was worth a try.
Briar shook her head softly.
"Can I bring you something to eat?" she shook her head again.
Azriel fell into his thoughts, he didn't know what to do. She was getting worse everyday.
"I..." she started, "I've been here before."
Azriel turned his attention towards her.
"I finally got out of that place after years." she said. He knew she was talking about her mental state.
"I couldn't take it anymore."
Azriel felt his heart ache as he saw tears slipping down her face.
They sat in silence for a while.
"Do you trust me?" he asked.
Briar nodded.
——
They were seated on the roof, the stars shining brightly.
Azriel hoped this would cheer her up. He knew she loved the stars.
Briar sat down close to Azriel, leaning into his side carefully.
He watched her. A small smile was written on her face. He was happy to see some sort of happiness on her face.
Azriel felt something as he watched her. He felt something click. He quickly looked away as he released what the feeling was.
He looked back to her. Her eyes were still fixed on the stars. She hadn't felt it.
Azriel didn't know what to do. He couldn't tell her, not yet. She was in a very bad place right now.
He wasn't mad about it, he actually felt relieved that she was his mate.
——
Briar POV
When Briar woke up the next morning, she felt better. Her head felt more clear, but still numb.
She was happy Azriel took her to the roof yesterday.
He had walked her back to her room, saying a quick goodnight before disappearing into his own room.
This was the first night she hadn't woken up from a nightmare. She had ran to the toilet every night since the incident.
Briar let the bath fill with warm water, stepping in it.
She stayed in the bath until the water turned cold. After, she quickly dressed in sweatpants and a sweater, which made her feel comfortable.
She heard a knock on her door, she opened it quickly. Azriel was standing in front of it.
"Do you maybe want to come to breakfast with me?" he asked shyly, "Just keep me company. Feyre and Rhysand aren't home."
Briar accepted his offer.
——
Azriel POV
Azriel had talked to Rhys this morning, telling him Briar had spoken to him. He hadn't told him about the mate part.
Feyre and Rhys were paying a visit to the Court of Nightmares. They were checking in and making sure Keir knew his place.
Azriel and Cassian had pulled sticks to decide who could come with them. Azriel pulled the short stick, which he was very happy about. Cassian, Amren and Mor had joined them.
Nesta took over Valkyrie training today, Gwyn and Emerie offering to help her.
Elain was still with Lucien. He was happy she had accepted Lucien as her mate, even though she hadn't accepted the bond officially.
Rhys had told Azriel to keep talking to Briar, that his company might pull her out of her dark place.
He was now eating his breakfast. Briar sitting on the opposite side. Her eyes were fixed on her hands. It looked like she was deep in her thoughts.
He shoved a small plate with scrambled eggs towards her. She looked at him.
"I don't want you to starve." he said.
Briar played with the eggs, but after a while she put some in her mouth.
Azriel watched as she ate, making sure she got some sort of food inside.
She only finished half of the small plate before shoving it away.
Good enough.
"I would like to go back to my room." she said.
Something in Azriel's chest stung at the words.
"Of course," he said, "I will be here if you need anything." she muttered a small thank you as she made her way back.
This was going to be harder than he thought.