Every story I'd heard about the afterlife was a big fat lie. There were no angels in white robes, no opera waiting to usher me into the gates of heaven but then again who said I was going to heaven. The pain shooting up my body felt everything like hell, or at least I knew the one coming would. I clamp my eyes closed tighter as I lay on the floor in what I know is my pool of blood, waiting for the pain I hope to come. She succeeded and I let her win, I let Sarah shoot me. There was no longer going to be the amazing sex with Lucas, no spending afternoons with the kids, no harmless gossips disguised as Sunday lunch dates with my best friend. No more of Lucas's family, all of that was now simply gone, just gone.
The thought left a hot burning scar on my throat and I gasped, fighting to take in the air that was not coming. This really was it, I had lost and she had won. But the arms suddenly wrapping me in a warm embrace felt too familiar to be related to the icy feeling of dying.
"Chris?!"
I know that voice, but it was the horror and worry in it that confused me most. And then came the prodding, vibrations wracking through my body as the arms around me shook my body desperately. "Muffin, please wake up!" I heard the voice again and for the second time, I found myself being drawn out of the deep crushing darkness into the warmth of his light.
My eyes fluttered open to the beautiful sight of Lucas' face. The pain reflected in his features, did nothing to hide how breathtaking the man was, holding me in his arms with my body sprawled on the cold concrete floor and my head in his lap.
His eyes widened as he realized I was awake, and a tear escaped. Oh my God, he was crying. Were those tears from fear of losing me seconds ago or joy for having me back now? I could not tell, but I knew at that moment I fell even more in love with Lucas though I didn't think that was even possible.
"Baby,"' I choked out, attempting to reach for his face. His hand met mine halfway and he raised his head to bark, "Water!" to someone.
"I don't think it's wise to give her any water yet until we make sure she's alright," came a voice from above me. I craned my neck to see who it was. Although he did not have the usual uniform on, I could still recognize him from hours of planning this afternoon.
Lucas' eyes scanned my body sharply, doing what I presumed was a search for any wounds on me. "I'm fine," I said quickly, realizing for the second time that there was no forthcoming pain. But there was a gunshot and Sarah unmistakably standing over me with a gun. More confusion settled in as I attempted to sit up but almost dropped right back on the slippery surface under my arm. I risked a look and gasped in horror at the pool of blood beneath me.
"It's not yours," Lucas said, his eyes following my gaze and then drifting an inch away, where a white tarp lay over what I presumed to be a body. My eyes widened as I took in the view around me for the first time. There was a commotion of men in uniforms racing back and forth, two men crouched low over the tarp, assessing the view and in the distance, I could hear the sounds of more sirens most likely an ambulance.
Through the blue and red lights flashing outside, I spotted Celine where she stood at the entrance, a shawl wrapped over her body as a cop with a small note and pen spoke to her. Her eyes drifted to where I sat on the floor and a hopeful smile crawled up her face. I gave her a smile I hoped translated to I'm fine and continued scanning the room.
Lucas helped us both to our feet, barking again for someone to bring me some water as he took off his jacket to wrap around me. It was a gesture I was very grateful for because one of the men crouching over Sarah's body—a detective I presumed— chose that moment to raise the tarp, and I shivered at the sight before me.
Baron came into view before I could ask Lucas what had happened and how long I had been out. Despite being in Lucas' arms, it took some restraint will to hold myself back from flinching at the mere sight of him and it also helped that he was being jerked forward, hands cuffed behind him as another cop, explained some protocols to him.
"You slimy little bitch!" he slurred, resisting the man dragging him away, "I'll make you pay you hear me, all of you will fucking pay for this."
I am about to tell him he is lucky Adrian did not have him first because he would have killed him for fucking them over but I know better, so I keep that thought to myself as he issues rounds upon rounds of what I am sure now are empty threats.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you." the cop told him, a dark smile on his face, "Even if you were not an accomplice to an internationally wanted criminal, you would still spend a pretty long time in jail for a long list of crimes I would not bother to list right now. You might want to say a more civil goodbye coz you, asshole, will be sitting in jail for a pretty long time."
Just like with Sarah, I could tell that was the moment he knew he was officially fucked up and the life visibly drained from his face as he looked between the lifeless body on the floor and me. "I knew I should never have trusted that bitch," Baron shouted as the cop continued to drag him away, a befitting walk of shame. "Fuck all of you," he screamed just before he was loaded into the waiting cop car and I was thankful when the door was slammed shut, turning his screams into muffled cries.
"How long?" I asked no one in particular, desperate to know exactly how long I had to live freely.
"Don't hold your breath waiting," the cop who had been standing over Lucas and I said simply, handing me a much-needed bottle of water. "I'll have someone come in here and check on you, and Mr. Maxwell, we would be requiring a statement from you so please hang on a minute."
After an affirmative nod from both of us, he left without another word. Lucas pulled me into him the moment he was out of sight again, it was a crushing hug, but after thinking I was dead a moment ago, he deserved every crushing embrace. "God I thought I had lost you," he whispered voice thick with emotion.
"Never again," I whispered back, clutching his hand tighter as my eyes drifted to Sarah's body as it was taken outside to a waiting van. "Is she really..." I trailed off slowly, it was a reality I was going to have to get used to accepting.
"Dead." Lucas finished for me. "She is. I made sure."
Without realizing it, my eyes met the pool of blood before us, her blood. It really was finally over. Tears prickled my eyes when I met Lucas's gaze again and I knew immediately he had misread my emotions when he spoke.
"It had to be done Chris, the cops know that too. She was standing over you with a gun, we both know she was going to shoot you and I could not let that happen. I'll never let that happen. And even after this, I'll never let anyone hurt you again Chris. Even if that means you get to hate me for the rest of our lives."
I pressed my lips into his before he could say another word and this time I hoped he got the real message. For clarity though, I said, "I don't hate you, Lucas, I could never hate you."
And the worst part of it all was that it was the truth. All along I had thought I wanted Sarah to be punished any other way, not killed and especially not by Lucas. But sitting here, with the realization that she would never come after us again, I wondered what kind of person it made me to feel relief instead of the expected guilt.
There was guilt though. I felt guilty because there was no remorse, not even pity. I felt guilty for feeling only relief and if I was being honest a small part of me that was actually happy that this had ended in the way it had.
"I know that look," Lucas said, tearing me away from the world of my thoughts as he held my chin up, "and no Muffin, you are not a horrible person for wanting the woman who almost killed you dead."
"I'm not?" I whispered, daring to meet his eyes.
"You aren't." he said with a note of finality that meant it was time to put this behind us. I felt his hands rake through my hair and then a soft, lingering kiss on my forehead, before he said, "It's all over now Muffin, no one will ever come after our family again."
"Our family," I murmured, repeating his words. It was no longer just his family but now our family. Lucas and I now had a family together and for the first time, I really understood how he felt. I had felt the same need to protect them minutes ago when I had attacked Sarah instead of just letting her go. It was our family and ours to protect.
It took hours before we could finally leave, most of which was spent giving whatever information was required by the cops and with the paramedics trying to make sure Celine and I were really as fine as we said we were. After being in and out of a hospital so many times in the last few weeks, I made it clear that they would have to drag my lifeless body to one if they really wished to have me in that horrible place again. I was finally ready to go back home to a fresh start, oh and a hot bath to get this blood off my skin. Alexander had taken C home and I made a mental note to never do anything to piss my best friend off that would make me lose her. After Lucas, Celine was the best thing that could have ever happened to me.
A comfortable silence settled as we took the drive back home. I reached for him at the same time he reached for me too. With a soft chuckle, he took my hand in his, pressing a soft kiss on my knuckles as he maneuvered the wheels with his free hand.
For the first time as Lucas held me, with the silent promise that this was all over, I knew deep in my soul without the smallest bit of doubt that it indeed was over. And while we had lost something precious along with any chances of recreating it in the future, I knew I had gained more. And most of all I knew I was right where I belonged.
Maybe it was the thrill of the moment or the fact that I no longer had any reason to run and hide anymore, but I blurted out the most unexpected words, "Let's get married tomorrow."
There was a slight pause as Lucas regarded me with both amusement and thoughtfulness, "We can't exactly plan a multi-million dollar wedding in a few hours,"
"I don't want a multi-million dollar wedding and I am quite sure we already have one to plan in February." Despite Mia's protests, Lucas had decided his wedding gift to his sister would be to pay for the entire event and I thought that was a thoughtful gift seeing as it was kind of our fault it had to be moved into the next year. "I just want to be married to you as soon as possible and I don't see any reason we have to hold back any longer." We had never really got into talking about the wedding date or preparations and I assumed it was because of the heat from Sarah and Baron. But with both of them gone, permanently, one more day seemed like too long to wait before getting married to Lucas.
He gave me another look, this time only filled with thoughtful appraisal and then he said, "As much as I hate to," he kissed my knuckles briefly, "we have to wait. It doesn't seem very believable that I shot my ex-wife in self-defense if I get married to my new fiancee a day after."
I gasped, realizing I had not even asked about that, "how much trouble are we in?"
To my surprise, he chuckled, "not very much actually. Sarah pissed off too many when they had to go on a witch hunt for her in another continent. It made her case worse and Baron, well he should have been in jail long ago for other hideous crimes."
I would know. My face scrunched up at the thought and Lucas turned his attention from the road to look at me, "Again, muffin, none of this is your fault. it's basic human instinct to fight back when you're attacked and I had to fight back when I saw her standing over you with a gun."
"I know," I said quietly as I turned my attention to look out the window "It's the fact that I don't feel like a terrible person for what happened today that makes me feel like a terrible person. And I know that's stupid..."
"It's not," he interrupted, "it's who you are."
The car came to a slow stop and I looked out the window to see that we had arrived back at his parent's villa. And maybe it was the sight of the kids running impatiently towards us for the first time in months with no damn body guard following behind them, and no need for one, or maybe it was that smile in their eyes as they approached us, but suddenly whatever I had felt minutes ago was replaced by a deep sense of gratitude.
Just a few moments ago, I had thought I would never see these angels ever again, now here I was holding on to them and leaving a trail of tearful kisses all over their faces. With Aiden in my hands and Abby in her father's, we made our way back to the house. I turned to Lucas, mouthing a brief "thank you," and "I Love You," to him before we were attacked by a sea of his worried family members waiting in the foyer.