Lucas
Metal scrapping.
Glass shattering.
A heart-wrenching scream
In those three simple steps, my entire world came to a grinding halt. Time seized, breathing stopped, and the only thing evident in my brain was the sickening crunch echoing through the phone.
Then painful, gut-knocking, heart-gripping silence.
My knees buckled, and I faltered a step back as the line disconnected. "Chris!" her name broke free from my lips, a plea, a prayer that this was not really happening.
This could not be happening.
Yes, it is and it's all your fault.
I had been too engrossed in tackling issues back in Diego to keep an eye on my family. To keep an eye on Chris.
I felt the blood drain from my body when I came down five minutes ago to the news that no one had seen Chris—oh except the gaurd that had let her leave despite my instructions. I already fired the bastard.
"What's going on?" Someone asked, snapping me from the horror of my thoughts. I had almost forgotten I was not the only one worried about Chris.
When the fog lifted from my eyes, I met the curious, confused, and worried gazes of everyone, waiting to hear if Chris was on her way. But she wasn't. She was not coming back and it was all my fault.
"I have to get to her." I was out the door without another word, swiping through my phone for the slightest clue as to where she was. Robin and Mia followed on my heels while Lilian stayed back to keep the kids from coming.
"Where did she go?" I asked, ignoring the curious questions about what was going on from both of them.
"You're scaring me, Lucas, what happened to her?" Mia answered as I signaled for my car to be brought to me,
I turned to her with a deadly glare, it didn't matter that she was my sister or that she was only trying to help. Only one thing mattered to me right now. "Just fucking tell me where she went!" I roared.
Mia jerked in response to my raucous reply. "She went to the store I guess. Zoey needed candies."
I turned to her in disbelief just as the car came around. "Candies? You have got to be fucking kidding me."
****
I must have broken at least 30 Italian traffic laws to make it here. Every nerve ending in my body was on fire, my heartbeat pounding rapidly, ready to burst open through my chest as I shuffled the hallways of the hospital, shoving whoever came in my path aside. Angry protests followed in my wake, and I could hear Robin behind me, trying the more civilized method of finding out which room they had Chris in.
"Christine Channing!" I barked at the nurse attending to the checking desk.
She turned her gaze slowly to me with a glare. I gave her a matching glare back, resisting the urge to whip the computer around and find out for myself where in this goddamn hospital they had her. After a brief tap of the keyboard, she looked back at me and said in fluent English yet with a heavy accent, "They brought her in a few minutes ago," she pointed further down the hallways, "Emergency room."
Fuck. Shit! I felt as though the air had been whooshed from my lungs and replaced by a sudden churn in my stomach. "How bad is she?"
"I am in no position to give away that information, but..."
"Fuck, tell me how bad she is." I roared, slamming my hand on the table.
Angry gasps and glares were thrown my way and I felt Robin's hand on my shoulder promptly. "Calm down bro,"
"Yelling is not going to give you the information you need sir," the nurse spoke in an annoyingly calm tone. "If you need answers he's your best shot," she nodded to a figure behind me and I turned just in time to see a man approaching the desk. His stethoscope bounced against the pocket of his white smock as he took heavy, urgent steps closer.
I made a beeline, reaching him first, "How is she doing?" I asked first, impatience seething through me. He gave me a puzzled look and I realized that I probably looked crazy asking such a vague question, "Christine Channing. How is she."
Realization swept across his feature, "and I'm guessing you're related to the patient?"
I gave a sharp nod, "Her boyfriend."
"Good," he said shuffling past me to reach for a file on the desk. "You're just in time. I was just about to ask the nurse if she could find any information on her before we begin the surgery."
I raked my hand through my hair desperately, "fuck, that bad?"
"She's lost a lot of blood internally. And there's a huge possibility that they both may not survive this."
"They?" I gave him an honestly puzzled expression.
"Your wife and child may not survive this and in the event that that occurs, we have to choose, we need your approval first."
I stumbled back a step as the words wife and child hit my ear. "Ch-child?"
"You just said you're her boyfriend. I assume the child is yours too." he raised a brow.
My words came out in a jumbled stutter, "I am—it is." Christ. How was I receiving the best and worst news of my life at the same fucking time? Life really was a bitch.
"She had this on her when we brought her in, even in her unconscious state," he said, reaching for something in his pocket.
My jaws clenched as he handed me the white plastic test, which confirmed in clear words his earlier statement. Fuck she was pregnant. That explained why she was so upset these last few days. Her question in the bathroom and of course why she had to sneak out today.
Fuck. Fuck! How had I been so irresponsible? Too negligent to realize she really needed me now more than ever and I was not there. The baby was not even here yet and I was proving how much of a shitty father I would be.
Well, it may not be coming anyways, because you let her go.
The realization made my heart clench and suddenly breathing was an impossible task. There's the pain of knowing I allowed this happen to Chris and then there's the pain of knowing our child might not be getting a chance to even see its first light of day because of me. Neither of which I would ever be able to forgive myself for, but the latter is heavier. More painful than taking a knife and stabbing it through my own chest.
The doctor continued speaking, snapping my thoughts back to him. "She's only a few weeks on, five and a half. The child is still very young, but with the heavy impact on her, we can only hope. I do not want to raise your hopes up, but I cannot guarantee they will both make it, hence..."
My hands were fisting his collar before the words were out of his mouth. "There is no probability here, you go in there and you save them, both of them."
Robin shoved me off him before I issued any threats. With a glare at me, he turned to the doctor, "What my brother means is, please do the best in your power to make sure they both make it out of this alive."
"That's what we're here for, I just do not want to get your hopes high. The nurse will show you all the required formalities. For now please excuse me." with a simple nod, he pivoted back in the direction he came.
As he exited the hallways, my legs gave out and I sank into the nearest chair to me, my head in my hands and thoughts spiraling. It was too much to wrap my head around.
Two hours ago I was barking at my lawyer for information on how to deal with Sarah, so I could protect her. Yet I failed, even without Sarah having to lift a finger.
Today was supposed to be a special day.
I had drawn this out for too long. It was a decision I had consciously made the day Chris had thrown a punch in Sarah's face back in San Diego. I realized that day that I had met the wrong sister first because Chris was really the one for me. She fit perfectly into our family, even without being the kid's mother, she was perfect for me, for us. And I decided then and there that it was time to take this further.
I subtly sought her opinion on it and every time she gave her approval to it. Yet I never did get the chance to go through with it. First at the beach with the kids, I thought it would be perfect to ask her in front of the kids, but then somehow, Sarah came into the equation, ruining the mood.
Then at our getaway. I had even got up late at night to rehearse what I was going to say to her and of course, just when I decided to go for it, I got the news that Sarah escaped.
And today.
Today I was going to be done with it at Zoey's birthday. I sucked on a sharp breath, reaching into my pocket. The small round and shiny object glittered in my palm. This should be sitting on her finger right now. When I had finally gotten the best chance to ask her, this had to fucking happen. And it was all because of me.
What kind of man was I if I could not even protect the woman I loved? I did not deserve Chris and she most definitely did not deserve to go through any of this because of me.
I felt an arm on my shoulder. It was Robin. He had gone to speak with the nurse and now he was back with a white piece of paper in his hand. One that meant both life and death, and of course I had to choose who to save.
I could not do this.
"Lucas they need your signature," he said softly, knowing the weight he was putting on me.
"No," I shook my head refusing to look at the legal paperwork that would make me choose either Christine or our five-week-old child. "I can't."
"Lucas, you have to." he pressed, clearly the rational one between us right now. "they will not move forward without it."
"I said I will not," I barked, getting to my feet.
And then my brother did the most unexpected thing. The one thing I needed but hadn't realized just yet. He hugged me. I could not remember the last time I felt this, a reassuring hug from my brother and there could not have been a better time for it. He gave me a pat on my shoulder, before pulling back, "You do not give that woman enough credit. She's a fighter, I know it. And she will be fine. She'll make it through this, both her and the baby. This..." he raised the flimsy piece of paper, "it's just hospital formality. I know without a doubt that Chris will not let go without a fight, for you, for the twins, and now for this child too. But first, you also have to do this, do it for them so they can get to work on her."
That was all I needed to hear. And while it was probably the toughest decision I had to make in my life, I knew what I had to choose. The one person I would choose in any lifetime, in any situation, during any timeframe. "It will kill me if I lose either of them," I muttered, more to myself as I handed it back to him.
Robin took the signed paper I offered him, "You will not lose either of them."