I tried to push him to the back of my mind. I began staying up late each night, making it impossible for me to wake up and watch the sunrise.
I had to forget this boy who was brighter than the sun, because the sun burns. It leaves scathing marks that last a lifetime, and I couldn't get too close without receiving a scar.
But I think I had.
I stopped replying to his instagram messages, occasionally sending a meme. He couldn't know the effect he had on me, he just couldn't.
My self-wallowing came to a screaming halt only a week later. No one other than my sister could have stopped it.
"Y/n! Tommy's girl doesn't like him! God, this is the happiest day of my life! Watch this!" Remy shoved an ipad into my face as she woke me up, and I winced at the brightness of the screen.
"I stuffed it all up, Wilbur. When she said her sister was a fan of Tommyinnit, I just panicked. I left and now its been a week without seeing her and she doesn't care and it fucking hurts-" Tommy's voice cut off, and I stared at his camera as he looked away from it, bringing a hand up to his face.
"Tommy. You need to talk to her." Wilbur said gently but firmly, and Tommy cleared his throat.
"I don't want to mess up again. I can't lose her. Chat, I am a simp for my sunrise girl and I am not ashamed." I sucked in a sharp breath. Sunrise?
"There's no way that she doesn't love you, Tom. You watch the sunrise together constantly, thats like romantic." Another voice said, while Tommy and I sighed in unison.
"Tubbo, I love you but I don't think she does. Whatever, let's just build this castle and forget about it. Does anyone have blue stained glass?" Remy paused the video, looking at me with bright eyes.
"So? They're totally not going to date! You better stream again, I'm getting closer." She said, and I nodded absently.
"Maybe later, I'm tired." She took the hint and left my room.
I sat there for a while, the video of Tommy, my Tommy, playing over in my mind. Nothing was ever certain, that was for sure, but I couldn't stop the glimmer of hope inside of me.
I opened the instagram app, taking a deep breath as I opened the chat between us.
y/u: fancy watching the sunset?
tomsimons69: ill bring a blanket :)