"For a man that's expecting another baby and who is also getting married You don't seem overly happy." Sabastein commented as he took a seat on the kitchen bar stool - accompanying Hisoka for a late night drink. Coffee and hot chocolate - nothing ever changing from high school.
"She only wants to spend time with Maleeka. What must I do." Hisoka tiredly replied back.
Studying the Joker's body language, Sabastein could see how genuinely bothered by your behaviour. And him sharing what's been going on confirmed his analysis.
"These past four days she's only been spending it with Maleeka. Every hour. Even now sleeps in the same bed as her at night or during her naps. I don't mind that, it's the fact that she's acting even more distant towards me. Like I don't exist." Hisoka in differently said as his eyes peered down onto the lawn where you and Maleeka were camping out underneath the stars on the trampoline.
Sighing lightly, Sabastein placed his coffee down and softly smiled. "Stop worrying. You reading too much into it. She doesn't love you less like you thinking. Y/n is merely latching and familiarising herself again with Maleeka." He explained
"Latching?"
"Yes. When Y/n was pregnant, all she had was Maleeka. Even after her birth, all she had was still Maleeka. She gets support and comfort from her. So for this pregnancy, she's latching onto the only support she knows. Your daughter is her safety net and what keeps her going. I don't think she realises it herself." Sabastein assured.
"..."
"Why don't you try and get her to open up to you?"
Closing his devilish eyes to block his vision from you, Hisoka sighed in a defeated manner.
"I don't have it in me to force her to do anything for me anymore. If she doesn't want too, then so be it." Hisoka uncharacteristically answered.
"Oh my, I wouldn't say softened, but you truly have matured when it comes to Y/n. The old You would've forced her long ago."
Hisoka peered open his eyes narrowly back again, watching you smile dearly at Maleeka as you and her chatted away. Chest growing uncomfortably tighter.
"Yeah, and see where the old me got me with her." The red haired commented with a snark undertone.
"As I said, she's probably in her own world and doesn't realise her actions are distancing the two of you. Make your presence known by just involving yourself. Like right now, just go down there, lay behind her and talk. She needs to know she's not alone anymore. Be kind." Sabastein encouraged his closest friend. And what a true friend the butler really was. Because only good friends would encourage you to pursue what makes you happy. Not try and ruin things and plant evil seedlings to manifest in the mind like Hidan did.
"I'll leave you to decide. See you later today for the meeting." Sabastein understood the social cue and space boundaries by leaving the mansion.
"Tsk.." Hisoka groaned indifferently at his friend that was right. It wasn't that he was forcing himself and his way onto you. He was merely going to let you know he's there too, and spend time with you like a normal partner would want too.
Making his way outside to you, Hisoka kept replaying Sebastien's words like a mantra to push him to do this. He did have a lot of practice with you, but the pregnant you, he didn't know what actions would be considered kind.
Maybe this distance wasn't solely your fault, Hisoka was also subconsciously afraid to ruin this pregnancy experience again. Hence he never bothered to intrude the content bubble surrounding you and Maleeka.
But he had to make the effort now, otherwise this family is as good as utterly broken.
"May I?" Hisoka uncharacteristically asked for permission - musing you out of your thoughts.
You peered over your shoulder and saw Hisoka eye out the spot to lay behind you.
He could tell by the startled look swimming around your eyes that you seemed surprised that he was even there. Solely existing in your life currently.
Maybe Sabastein was right after all, you were reverting back to your first pregnancy experience.
"Oh. Y-yes you may." You granted permission to lay behind you.
Climbing up the trampoline, Hisoka lifted up the blanket and laid next to you - naturally sliding his hand over to your tummy.
"Ahh, you decided to join us outside daddy." Maleeka happily commented while her eyes were glued to the screen. It seemed that she was highly engrossed with an intense game on the phone. And you were busy watching her and giving commentary.
"Because I can't sleep without your mother next to me." Hisoka decided to break down his walls and allow himself to express affection and sensitivity.
"How are you feeling by the way?" He asked, knowing you wouldn't respond to his first comment out of either shyness, embarrassment or discomfort.
"I'm okay I guess.. Still a bit nauseous and feverish. But only a little now." You timidly replied.
It was soothing, but it was odd to feel such a hand protectively hold your stomach. Yet alone the hand of Hisoka's. Indeed You have truly forgot the two of you were together and were getting married.
You were so wrapped up in your world you forgot there was a wedding that was going to take place in 5 days.
"Did you mange to eat a bit today at least?" He concernedly asked.
As mature as her young self was, Maleeka slyly looked at the two of you from the corner of her eyes. She picked up that things weren't as rosy between ya'll as it used to be. And that spending time together was a thing of the past. No soon-to-be wedding couple should lack communication and affection.
"Ah snap, I died! I'm going to the bathroom quickly, do you need anything from inside mum?" Maleeka faked dying in her game to leave you and Hisoka alone for a few minutes.
"No my dear, I'm good." You replied.
After Maleeka got off the trampoline safely, You answered Hisoka.
"I did but only light stuff." You replied, feeling only a tad bit awkward to be alone with your fiancé for some reason.
'Be kind.'
Internally sighing at Sabastein's words, Hisoka shoved down the obvious and unnecessary tension between the two of you and continued to try and reconnect with his own damn future wife.
"Have you started getting cravings yet?" He asked.
"Un huh. It will probably start soon though. Maybe a few times now, but after 4 months or so I'll start crave a lot. But we will see, I don't know how this lil one will trouble me."
"When you do crave for something let me know. I'll get it for you." Hisoka smoothly stated.
In response, you turned around onto your back and stared up at the Joker.
"No, it's okay.. You don't need too. I'll get it myself." You mumbled.
"Y/n." You heard him somewhat call your name with sternness lacing his undertone. You didn't say anything, only acknowledged him by gazing into those beautiful eyes of his.
"You need to understand and accept the fact you going to go through this pregnancy with me. You aren't alone anymore, so stop acting like you alone. I'm here." Hisoka failed to be super kind as Sabastein instructed him to be.
It wasn't that he was rude and brash, he just was frustrated that you weren't relying on him for anything or even acknowledging his existence.
"So when you are craving for something and the kitchen doesn't have it, tell me and I'll get it. Even if it's at odd hours of the night." He added on much more calmer.
When you heard Hisoka mention that you had to stop acting as if you were still alone, it dawned upon you that you were accidentally shunning Hisoka out this pregnancy. Reflecting back, you realised that you haven't really spoken to him, yet alone share the same space as him anymore.
Holding his naturally intimidating eyes, you gently cupped the side of his cheek to caress with deep endearment.
"I'm sorry." He heard you whispered sincerely.
"I didn't intentionally withdraw myself from you. It kind of just happened because I am used to being alone. But you are right, I have you by my side now." You maturely handled this issue. There was no need to get defensive and hash up the past mistakes that made you feel alone.
"Apology accepted." He smugly responded as he closed his eyes and leaned more against your hand that satisfyingly caressed his cheek - enjoying this simple gesture of affection.
"Well, since I have you and a massive house. There is one thing I really want to do." You shyly stated.
"I'm listening." Hisoka acknowledged - still shut eyed and taking in your touches.
"I know it's 8 months too early. But I would like to convert the room opposite Maleeka's into a nursery..." You mumbled into inaudible silence.
Seeing Hisoka open his eyes to look down at you without uttering a word, your stomach churned from nervousness. Thinking maybe you asked for too much too soon.
"I'm sorry we-"
"Okay." He cut you off.
"W-what?"
"I don't mind. When do you want to start?" Hisoka clarified your mishearings.
"O-oh um.." You stammered due to excitement starting to simmer within your core.
"I mean, as soon as possible? Maybe tomorrow we can just clear out the room if you don't mind?" You asked with an elevating undertone of excitement.
"You are not moving anything. I'll do it." Hisoka corrected.
Amusingly huffing, you lightly tapped his cheek as a mini slap. "Hisoka I'm pregnant, not disabled. Besides it'll be fun to do it together. Extra heavy stuff I promise I won't try and carry it out." You negotiated.
"Pregnancy and disability are the same thing." He cheekily commented.
Now pulling his cheek, you lightly chuckled. "We both know it's not. I think you are just saying that to take shots at me. Directly calling me useless and incapable of doing anything."
"Obviously. The last time I insulted you was in high school. I need to make up for lost time my useless soon to be wife." He teased, receiving another playful slap from you.
"I am the furthest thing from being useless!" You defended.
Smirking, feeling rather satisfied that the usual dynamics between you and him returned, Hisoka slid his hand from your stomach up to your cheek - gingerly rubbing over the area underneath your eye with his thumb as he distantly stared into your eyes.
"I know. I have to make up insults and flaws about you because in reality there's nothing to fault you on."
God damn. Even after all this time, hearing Hisoka utter honey sweet words forced you to erupt into 50 shades of pink and red.
"Feeling shy?" Hisoka humorously called you out.
Pouting, you aggressively turned back around to hide your embarrassment.
"See, that's why I can't compliment you. You get all quiet and flustered. Insulting gets you speaking." Hisoka huskily whispered against your ear after he shifted closer against you.
"W-well that's not a good enough reason! There's no reason to stop complimenting me. Complimenting me just makes you uncomfortable because it's not something you like doing. Don't pin the blame on me." You mustered the bravery to call Hisoka out too.
Peering to the side, you saw Hisoka shift closer and a bit more ontop of your body to glare mischievously down at you.
"Y/n, I'm marrying you. That's the biggest compliment you are getting."
Breathlessly giggling through your fluster, you pushed Hisoka off you playfully and sat up. "My god you are so full of yourself. Thee great and all mighty Hisoka decided to get married! Oh the woman marrying him must be soooooo lucky." You rolled your eyes and spoke in a flabbergasted manner.
"No, you dramatic woman. It's a compliment directed at you. I'm the one with the infamous past. Everyone knows how I used to be back in high school. And then became the complete opposite for seven years - abstinent. I was also someone that never wanted too and never thought about ever tying myself down with a woman seriously. Detested the idea of marriage and children. But now I'm getting married to you, and have two children with you. All people will think is that you are probably someone really special and worth it if you got me to change." Hisoka explained with distance prominent in his undertone.
He saw how your baby blush disappeared and got replaced with a dumbfounded expression. Depicting to him that you didn't expect him to say such things so openly.
But it was the truth.. You the one that changed the game plan.
And despite the change, Hisoka didn't mind the slightest because it involved you.
Pulling you back down to lay on his chest, Hisoka tilted your chin up with his index finger to make you look up at him. "See. You get quiet when I compliment you." He lightly whispered as he unintentionally brushed pieces of your hair away from your face.
Snaking your arm around his torso, you defied him and shifted your head back down on his chest. Unable to hold eye contact anymore because you felt mushy inside.
"Regardless, don't stop complimenting me..." You barely whispered.
The way you said it hinted at Hisoka that there was underlining pain and craving for validation. But he already knew about that. And he genuinely is trying to give you that validation that you are good enough for him.
With a light sigh, Hisoka gently patted your head before looking up at the night sky.
"I think Maleeka ditched me." He heard you mumble.
Now looking at the far sided window where Maleeka's bedroom was, Hisoka couldn't help but smirk at his daughter that was giving him a thumbs up.
"I think she did. Must be tired of you." The a joker amusingly teased. Appreciative that Maleeka allowed him this time alone with you.
"Hey that's mean!" You nudged at his leg with your knee.
Effortlessly sliding you off him, Hisoka positioned you on your back and slid his arms under and around your torso as he comfortably rested his head against your upper chest-breasts area.
"I finally get to sleep with you again. Shush now." Hisoka purposely said to annoy you.
Faffing with irritation, "If you weren't looking so comfortable I would of definitely beat the crap out of you for shushing me." You muttered, lightly tugging his hair as a subtle form of violence.
But the longer you stared, the more your heart melted. There was something adorable about having a man twice your size, shredded and tall. Not to mention a supposed terrible mafia king cuddling against you like an infant. The contrast was far too adorable.
"Tomorrow I have to tend to a meeting after 1pm. We can start with the nursery after I get back, giving you more time to sleep. Is that okay?" Hisoka asked in his now tried voice.
Stroking his red locks affectionately too put him off too sleep faster, You nodded in agreement. "Yes, that's okay my lov-"
Midway You instantly froze upon realising what you were accidentally going to blurt out.
As blissfully tired he was, Hisoka heard what you were going to call him loud and clear.
Closing his half opened eyes, Hisoka held you just a bit tighter..
"..I don't mind.'' Hisoka lowly encouraged. He was always envious of Maleeka because she got called that. So, even though Hisoka acted very causal and nonchalant about you calling him my love for the first time. Internally, the Joker's world lit up like a carnival.
It wasn't even odd sensations stirring within him that he didn't know about back in high school, it was flat out warmth spreading out from his heart.
Hearing you accidentally call him that depicted to him that you reached another level of love for him.
The ultimate comfort with him. And that couldn't make him anymore pleased. The Joker could never get enough of your feelings. It still irked him after all these years that he has a genuine woman feel sincere and deep emotions for him.
"Goodnight...My love." You distantly whispered.