'You know, I'm realising how annoying kids are', Tony says whilst he comes in and the team chuckle, as I watched them from where I stood on the balcony and looked down at them all, 'which one of your kids are on your nerves this time', Sam says as Tony rolls his eyes, 'I only have the one, where do you think I'm getting kids from exactly', he says as I hear my phone ping whilst thinking about his response, he has kids and still does dangerous jobs, the thought ran across my mind, well he'll join in on some of the missions, but nevertheless, he still puts himself out in the field knowing the consequences.
'How about the kid, Harley, Nebula...', Nat listed out as I heard his sigh and looked at my phone, I don't know who they're talking about, but they're seem important to him when I saw the look on his face, 'they're not my children', he says as I read the text, it was from Arthur's son, I met him a few weeks ago when he came to collect Arthur and take him home so we exchanged numbers so he knew where is father was at all time and now he was texting me to say that he was sick so there was no point in vising his shop, it's probably closed.
'Anyway, I need to put something in his suit so he's protected at all cost', Tony says as I looked down at them and wondered what the topic had changed about, 'and you say they're not your kids', Wanda teased as I watched him roll his eyes, 'thought you would be helpful not useless', he says as I walk down, 'we are helpful, we just like to make you work for it', Pietro says as they laughed.
'Ideas now, or the kid really will get himself killed', he says, 'A new iron suit, like yours', Vision says as Tony shook his head, 'No, he likes the flexibility of the ones he usually wears, besides, I already gave him a similar one and he threw it away like it was nothing', he says they laughed.
'Give him a shield', Steve suggested as Tony sighed and shook his head, 'really, I'm not making him a shield, he'd probably use as a frisbee then a shield', he says as they laughed again and I rolled my eyes when I figured out what they we're talking about, 'Idiots', I muttered under my breath whilst making a coffee, 'what was that', Tony says as I look at him 'I said idiots', I repeated whilst he leaned on the counter and folded his arms, 'Fine, let me hear your idea since you think your smart', he challenged as I sipped on my coffee, 'vibranium', I said as I watched his brows furrow, 'what', he questioned.
'Vibranium for the suit, it's rare, hard to come by, but if you know the right people or you happen to have some laying around, infuse the suit with vibranium and then you get that extra protection, flexibility and if whoever your talking about is in danger they won't even have a scratch on them and it'll be a win, win', I explained.
'That's...', he says turning his head a little and I nod, 'Yeah I know', I said, sipping on my coffee as I looked at my phone again when it buzzed.
I already had people making fun out of me because they just take one look and think I'm stupid, but I learnt to live with that, I'm used to it for a reason and then I like to put my knowledge to the test when they challenge me and let's just say I love when they become speechless, the only one who looks stupid is them, not me.
'Here's an idea, you should help him', Nat suggests as Tony agreed to the idea and I looked up from the message, 'what', I questioned whilst putting it away, '...I mean, no, I have other things to do', I said whilst putting it away and ignoring it.
'So, where do you supposed I get vibranium', he asked.
'On the sun, you'd find loads there, you should go, I heard it's nice this time of year', I said.
'Funny', he says as I sighed under my breath, useless, all of them, '...I have some, but you owe me', I said as they all looked at me, 'you do', Tony questioned as I look back at him, 'surprising right, but I have just enough to give it you', I said as he nods, 'I'll pay you', he says and I shook my head, 'I don't need money, anything else but that, is fine'.
I wanted to throw my phone out when it buzzed again, but when I saw the caller ID, it wasn't Coulson like I'd expect it to be.
I picked up whilst I tried to keep my hands steady and my nerves in check.
'Agent Y/n, I have some news', she says with an added sigh and I clutch my phone tighter, that wasn't good news, 'she only has a couple of hours, if you'd like to vis...', she began as I nod.
'I'll be there in an hour, keep me updated until then', I cut her off and after a short reply, I hang up and walked over to the meeting room, grabbed the monitor, and called for Coulson.
When he appeared, sat behind his desk with a pile of files in front of him, I put it down, 'I have to leave the compound for a couple of hours, but I just wanted to let you know first', I said, cutting straight to the chase and skipping the formalities.
'Why are you leaving', he asked whilst putting the felt pen he was using down, stands from his seat and walks around the desk, 'it's for a personal day, I don't usually ask, but it's an emergency and I just need a couple of hours', I said, I don't take time off, I'm always on call but this time, I needed to and it was only right.
'Okay, but you take someone with you', he says as I shake my head a little, 'I don't need anyone to go with me', I said.
'It's the matter of security and there are hydra personnel still out there and I can't take the risk of them capturing you again', he says as I sigh, I knew I wouldn't win this argument, like all the other times, he'd win in favour of protecting me and I had no choice but to comply after an argument, only this time I caved sooner so I could skip the wasted time I won't get back, 'tell Nat and Steve to go with you', he says as I nod.
________
I arrived at the care home with Nat, Steve and Bucky, who for some reason wanted to tag along, I was okay with just two, but three was a crowd and I honestly didn't want to argue due to it wasting time so I just let it go.
The door flew opened and a gush of antiseptic was the first to hit my senses when I stepped inside and looked over at the front desk with two nurses already occupied behind it and talking about each others lives which I zoned out off and looked at the mood boards on top of their heads, they had new activities and games the people could do whilst they stayed in the care facilities.
On the other wall, I also noticed the mountain of photos, stockpiling on top of each with both the workers and the patience that resided here.
'Agent Y/L/n', I heard as look over and see the blond with her hair slicked back, ivory skin, blue eyes, her nails freshly manicured and the blue rags one would wear if they were a nurse, 'come, I'll take you over', she says whilst moving the little sliding door and we walk over.
I didn't want to ask how bad it was, I just wanted to be there for her, like she was for me and I just wanted to make her feel better, even though I probably know it won't do much for her.
'Here we are, you can go in', she says as I nod and open the door then walk in.
She kept it the way I put everything for her, the fresh daisies on the entry way table with a basket beneath it, a brown armchair that swung around, an orange couch leaning against the other wall even though I told her it didn't go with the colour scheme she was trying to achieve but she insisted and told me that she'd want whatever she wanted in her space and I just refrained from rolling my eyes at her, she wouldn't be pleased about that anyway.
The tv hung on the wall with a black screen, she never watched anything beside the news but she liked having it there so she could fill the room with noice and she didn't feel completely alone.
When I reached the door and opened it, I looked over and saw her laying perfectly still in bed, she was covered in linen and soft silks with pillows of varies sizes stuffed behind her.
At least they didn't put a gown on her, I know she hates those and makes her skin go red and itchy, so I'm glad they never put one on her.
When I circled her bed and took her in, it felt all the more real, the colour from her face wasn't all drenched but her normal feature wasn't as there to, she was somewhat in the middle, her lips still remained the plump pink and I noticed a little more wrinkles on her.
It honestly surprised me when she told me her age, 92, she didn't look a day over fifty and she had the energy of someone not of her age, but now, it looks like time has caught up to her.
'Your staring', she says, dragging me out of my own thought and I sigh and try to put a brave face on, 'I'm just checking if your faking just to get me to come over here', I said as a low rumbling laugh parts her lips and she opens her eyes and looks up at me, with the brightest honey brown eyes I've ever seen, 'am I faking', she asked as I pull out a chair.
'I haven't come to the conclusion yet', I said as she smiles again and moves her head to look at me, 'let me know when you have', she says as I try not to laugh or smile.
'Want to tell me why it took you this long to visit', she asked as I settle into the seat and shrug, 'I joined a new team, besides, it hasn't been that long', I said as she shakes her head a little and moved it back to the original position she had it, and it's then she notices the three, 'you brought guest, you never bring guests', she says full of hope and excitement as she looks over at me, 'I had no choice, so I had to bring them along', I said as she laughs again and moves her head back to the three.
'I'm Vivian', she introduced as they smile at her, 'Steve', he says first and then points to the two stood beside him, 'this is Nat and Bucky', he said.
'Nice to meet you', she says as they snicker a little and she looks at me, 'go grab some chairs, so they can sit', she instructed as I nod and then walk out to grab them.
________
'What are you reading', she asked as I flip through the pages, 'a magazine I found in the next room', I said.
'Really, what's it about', she asked as I flick to another page, 'the secrets about being old, and how to live forever', I said as she laughs again but this time harder and she gasps, 'don't make me laugh, it hurts when I laugh', she says as I stare at her whilst she calms and I put the paper down, 'would you like some water', I asked as she nods and I stand and walk over to the little bar trolly she had.
'You know you could do with a personal nurse', I said, filling the glass with water, 'they could stay with you all day and night', I said as I put the jug down and walk back to her with the glass in hand.
'No, they nice and very helpful but I can't be tended to 24 hours a day, I need time to breath', she says as I hand it to her whilst she tries to put it against her lips but I noticed her shaking hand, so I take it off of her and help her with it.
'Thank you', she says after the second gulp and I nod and put it down, 'so, you mentioned you moved to another team, how's it like so far', she asked.
'Fine', I replied as I sat on my seat again and she looked at the three again, 'she's a softie at heart you know', she says as they beam a smile at her and I roll my eyes, 'I saw that', she says.
'I never did anything', I tell her.
'You rolled your eyes, and don't say you didn't, cause I saw you', she retreats and I'm urged to roll them again, but don't, cause she'd probably see that too.
'Well stop outing none sense and I won't have to', I said whilst she moves her hand over the other and giggles a little, 'fine your a teddy bear', she says as I shake my head and on impact roll them again, 'I'll go back to being mean just to prove a point', I said.
'You can try but it won't work, only when you have too', she says and when I want to roll them again, Nat interrupts, 'how do you know each other', she asked as Vivian moved her head on the pillow and looked at her to address her, 'she was my neighbour for a year', she replied.
'A year and a half', I corrected as she laughs whilst the three follow the process too, 'my apologies', she said and then turns back to them, 'she used to go shopping, pick up my medicine and brought dinner for me', she hummed with appreciation.
I did, when I first left with Coulson, I wasn't at the base first, he put me in an apartment with everything I needed inside and I had to stay there until Coulson trusted me enough to be on his team and help.
It was understandable, when I told him about Hydra, he was reluctant and needed to know if I could be trusted and I understood that, I wouldn't have trusted me too if I had a secret like that.
'...she had the habit of eating all my doughnuts', Vivian says as I look at her and hear the change of topic whilst they chuckle, 'if you didn't want them to be eaten, you shouldn't have made them', I added as she laughs this time.
'Yes, they we're meant to eat, just not straight out of the oil and into your mouth', she says and my mouth is reminded of the taste of fresh hot doughnuts coated with sugar, they were the best and it was sensational, 'they were the best when they were hot', I retorted and I could tell she was holding back her smile, 'how many times did you burn your mouth', she asks.
'That's not the point', I said.
'That's exactly the point', she says in a heartbeat and then we're looking at the three who were laughing amongst themselves, and noticing that this was the first time I saw Bucky ever smile since I've been in the compound and it didn't look all that horrible, not that I was keeping track of when he smiles or laughs.
'She burnt her mouth all the time', Vivian tells them and they're chuckling again until someone comes in and I look over to see a familiar tall man, with short brown curly hair that fell just above his hazel eyes, a neat cut beard that was aligned perfectly with his jaw, and a small faint scar just across his left eyebrow that I just recognise as new, seeing as I've never seen it before.
'Spencer', Vivian says with a light cheer to her voice, 'you came', she says and he chuckles and stands by her bedside, 'Yeah, I missed you too much', he replied in his deep, charming voice and she laughs, 'also to make sure someone in this room doesn't eat all your doughnuts', he adds, which earns him another laugh and I roll my eyes whilst slumping back into my seat, 'pouting any harder won't get you anything', he says when he turns to me and I'm scoffing, 'does it look like I pout', I said.
'By the looks on your face, it does', he says and my eyes narrow at him, it doesn't matter how handsome he is, he's not getting under my skin this time, 'get lost and go back to whatever whole you climbed out of', I said and he chuckles.
When he takes a seat besides me, his shoulder brushes against mine and I sigh at him, 'are you blind, I'm sat here', I said and create a safe distance between us, 'and there's plenty of room', he replies.
'Your lucky I don't have my guns or my knives on me', I said and he starts to act surprise, 'wow, your actually disarmed for once, that's the first of many', he says and on queue, I scoff, and then flick a razor out of my mouth and hold it between my fingers, 'do I look defenceless now', I said and he's grinning, 'I see you more like a harmless little cat', he says, patting my head in the process and when I'm ready to pounce on him to make a point, I stop when I hear Vivian, 'Y/n, no', she says and I'm looking at her, 'seriously', I ask and she nods, 'yes', she simply says and I'm sighing to myself again, 'fine, only because you have a nice room and it'd be a shame to ruin it with his guts everywhere', I said and hear him laugh again.
'Spencer, stop making her mad, you know I don't like it', Vivian tells him and he shrugs, 'I see it mores of a highlight to my day', he replies.
'Do you want to see how much of a highlight I can be', I challenged.
'Go on then', he retorts and I'm grunting when Vivian stops us again, 'the both of you are like children, you know that right', she says.
'He's a child, I'm not', I said and she's sharing a look I know we're making her angry and upset that we're not getting along, 'ugh', I sigh, 'fine we'll be good', I said and she smiles, 'good, now give me the blade', she says and I stare at her dumbfounded, 'what blade', I ask and she frowns this time, 'you know which one, now give it to me, it's dangerous and you could cut your mouth', she replies.
'Not happening, it stays where it stays, besides it won't', I said and without a word, the only thing she does, is give me a look of disappointment, 'fine, don't talk to me then', she says and I sigh at her this time, 'I hate you', I mumble, taking it out of my mouth, then walk over to her and hand it to her, which earns me a smile, 'see, not that difficult, now don't put anything in your mouth again', she says and just to appease her, I nod.
________
'Y/n, get down from there', Vivian warns me after I cleared her dresser and stepped on top of it, 'there's a buzzing, and it's frustrating me', I tell her and move my hand to the vent, 'leave it alone, you'll hurt yourself', she says as I pull the thing open and then set it down.
When I take a look inside, there's a fan whirling around, but something small next to it, so I put my hand in and pull it out, 'okay, get down before you break something', Vivian tells me.
'There's nothing on here that'll break', I said and then pull harder, 'I was talking about you', she says and when I've managed it, the buzzing finally stops and when I take my hand out, I put the vent back on and jump off once it's secured, 'see, no buzzing and I'm fully intact', I said and she giggles and shakes her head.
________
'Do you want to die', I warned Spencer when he decides to keep prodding me with his index finger until I got frustrated, 'you're adorable when your mad', he says and I'm grabbing his finger, 'touch me again, and you lose the finger', I said and watch him laugh.
I've been in this room for a couple of days, coming and going whenever I need, but with Spencer constantly around, he's finding everyway to annoy me and it's either frustrating or cute when he does small things, but I squish that feeling quick, I don't get involved with civilians, it only gets complicated from there anyway, the secrets, the lies, I don't know how much I could keep if I wanted to keep going like this.
________
A couple of hours later, I was working on a puzzle with Vivian, she always loved doing jigsaws so I thought I'd grab one from the community room and found a new one so I brought it to her and put all the pieces on the foldable table she had.
At least the one good thing is that it made her hands go still and let her focus on the puzzle for a while, starting from the edges first and then working our way in.
'Y/n', she called out as I hand her some pieces and hum a response.
'I'll miss you', she says as I look up at her, 'your not going anywhere', I said as she smiles and shakes her head and continues with her puzzle whilst I continue to stare at her.
'I'll miss you too', I said, when I've recognise what she just told me and she slowly moved her eyes up and nods whilst I let her hold my hand and she give it two small pats.
The selfish part of me doesn't want her to go, since I've met her, she acted like a second mother to me, she made me food when I had no clue what things were, she took care of me when I didn't have anyone and she was the first person I shared all my deepest darkest secrets too.
'I think we're done', she says, breathlessly as I look at the now completed puzzle that was a river side and an assorted with mountains and clouds above them with a clear blue sky.
When I look at her, she smiles and squeezes my hand as I see the sparkle in her eyes dimming, 'I liked being you neighbour', she says as a smile plays on my lips and I give her a small nod, 'likewise', I said and then ran my thumb on her hand.
'I think...', I began when I had to look down and felt the grip she had falter, 'Y/n', she whispered as I move my eyes back to her.
'You were the daughter I never thought I needed', she says as I feel a warm pang in my chest and squeeze her hand this time, 'I'm', I began when she let out an audible sigh, 'thank you, I had a nice time', she whispered and before I could get a word out, she looked at Spencer, who loomed over her and smiled, 'we'll be okay Vivian, you can rest now', he tells her and a small smile plays on her lips, '...thank you for everything', he adds and we watch her fading whilst I squeeze her hand, this was harder then I thought.
When I returned my eyes back to her, I already knew she was already gone, her chest has stopped falling and her eyes were still watching me but were void of nothing but lifelessness.
I couldn't bring myself to reach over and close her eyes because I still believing she was alive and well, 'Vivian', I called out, in barely a whisper and I sigh once again.
When I kept staring and squeezing, hoping she'd squeeze mine back, a hand reached out to her and I looked over at Steve who had shut her eyes for her and when I looked back down, it was already setting in that she was gone.
_______
I sat on the rooftop of the compound, drinking my ache away and I sighed, I wish she was still here, I don't care to admit it, but I care for her so much and it's already breaking me apart even though it's only been a day or two.
'Are you okay', I heard as I look over and see Bucky stood by the doorway and then out again, 'I'm fine', I tell him as I hear the gravel crunch beneath his feet and in a few seconds, he's by my side as I sigh, 'please, just leave me alone, I'm not in the mood for a heart to heart', I said and grabbed the bottle again.
'I'm not here for one too', he says as I stare at him whilst he takes a seat beside me and I sigh once again.
'I just want to be alone, can you please just...', I began when I looked over my shoulder and saw the rest of the team.
'I brought pints of ice cream and we can...', Wanda began as I shake my head, 'please just leave me alone', I said whilst grabbing the bottle and jumping off, 'I'm not in the mood', I said and then walked back in.
I know they meant well but I wasn't in the mood for anyone and honestly, I just wanted people to leave me alone so I can have my own space and some peace.
_______
'No', I tell one of the three men who wanted to go on a mission that would surely get them killed, 'what do you mean no', the other ask.
'I mean no, do you need me to write the word down to get you to understand', I tell him.
'No ma'am', the last one says and I nod, 'okay then, now that we got that sorted out, get back to your post and don't bother me until it's important', I tell all of them.
'But', the first one starts again, 'and no buts, if's and what's, because I don't want to hear it', I said, because I didn't and because I was in the middle of a slight hangover and wanted to sleep it off.
'You know we could just go above your head right', the middle one states and I scoff at the audacity he has and at the same time he winces when the last one nudges him really hard in the side, and he looks at him, 'good luck with that agent, because as far as I know I'm the highest in Shield', I tell him, when his eyes move back to me, 'so when I tell you to go back to your post, you go back to your post, when I tell you no, it means no, do you understand me'.
'Yes Ma'am', they all say together and I nod, I know they mean well but I'm looking out for there future here and in that future I don't need to see them dead.
'I would've let you go if there was an extraction plan, but no sane agent will go through that war zone just to get to you', I explain, 'they'd end up just as dead as you, so I'm saving you from being stranded and left for dead', I tell them.
'So, now that that's everything, is there anything else', I ask and they shake their heads, 'no ma'am', they each said again and I nod, 'good, let me or Coulson know whatever else might come up, until then, don't bother me', I tell them again and when I've heard their responses, I disconnect the holograph.
'Since when we're you the highest shield member', Sam asks me and I look over at him to find him sat between Steve and Thor, 'since I was twelve', I tell them and see the surprise on their face, I may not have all my memories and the very few that I have are very foggy, but their is a distinctive memory of when I joined Hydra and it was either at twelve years or a little over that, I can't remember.
'If anyone needs me, I'll be in bed', I tell them and walk out the door.
________
I was mad, every single fibre in my body vibrated so much that it made my blood boil and I try hard to not lose it.
'I told you not to go', I state, and it's the first thing I said after I came into this god forsaken meeting room and look up at the same agent who dared to challenge me a few days ago, 'and you did it anyway', I add.
'I...', he begins but I slam my hand onto the table, 'shut up', I shout and it's then he meets my eye, 'do you know what position you just put me in', I tell him, because now that he went rogue, it puts me in a position where I'll be questioned of my lack of leadership, 'I said no, and you still went behind my back', I state, 'and because you did, your actions alone got someone killed', I add.
'I'm sorry', he begins again, 'will your sorry bring him back', I ask and it's then his eyes drop and I know how guilty he feels but this action caused a death tonight, and no one can turn back from it, 'I thought so', I said and unclench my hand a little when I feel the pain of digging my nails into the palm of my hands.
'I gave you the benefit of the doubt the first time you fucked something up, a second time when you decided to challenge my authority and now this', I said and look back at him, 'you have proved yourself, you are not fit to be a shield agent, you are a danger to not only yourself, but the other agents around, so now', I pause when he looks at me, because he knows very well where this is heading, 'you will be relieved of your duties and stripped of all your titles', I said and I can tell by the way his Adams apple gets caught in his throat, that he's stopped breathing, because I've just taken his whole life away from him.
'Leave your badge and your gun behind, and after that, I want you on one last mission', I state and it catches him by surprise, 'I want you to go to agent Griffins family, on the day of his funeral, then I want you to look them dead in the eyes and tell them you killed there son', I order and it's then everything stills in the room, the team didn't say a word and the agent looked like he was at his breaking point.
'Y/n', I heard Coulson first through the silence and look over at him, to see him stood in the door way, 'he will not be doing that', he tells me and I scoff, 'the hell he won't', I spit out, 'they weren't under your division, they were under me, I told them not to do it and he still did it anyway', I said and it's then Coulson decided to challenge me by arguing his case.
'Fine, you tell me who'll bring back Griffin, and once I see him alive and well, I change my mind', I said and then he argues again.
'She's right', we heard Agent Flint finally speak up and it stops Coulson from speaking his case, 'this is my mess and now I have to suffer the consequences', the pool mission, I thought I could do it but it got Griffin killed, so I need to own up to my actions and be the first to tell his parents I was the one who decided to take him along and got him killed in the process', he explains and then walks out without another word from him or us.
Not two minutes later, the other agent comes in with his arm strapped to his chest and a tended bruise on his cheek, 'sorry I'm late Ma'am, I got held up in the Medbay', he tells me and I sigh to myself, at least he wasn't the next to be killed, 'go back to the Medbay, and rest up properly, you'll be off missions for a couple of months', I said and he nods, 'yes Ma'am', he replies and then looks at the gun and badge on the table, 'did Flint quite', he asked when he recognised the handle.
'He got fired', Coulson tells him, 'Y/n was right, he could get someone else killed', he adds next and Agent Byrne looks at him with the furrow of his brows, 'the mission wasn't Flints idea, it was Griffins', he tells us and we're looking at him, 'yes, Flint wanted to do the mission but Griffin wouldn't take no as an answer, so he decided to go rogue and we didn't want him going alone so we joined, his own actions killed him, we tried to talk him out of it before hand but then things got out of control and he died', he finishes and I stare at him to see if I detected any lies from his part, but I couldn't and knew he was telling the truth.
'Why would he lie that it was his fault', Coulson asks him.
'Flint wanted to protect Griffins legacy, even though he did a stupid thing, he wanted to protect his image so he decided to take the heat for it, even when I objected to it, but being stubborn, he wouldn't take my protest either', he replies and I'm sighing to myself again.
________
I got to the funeral a little to late, because as soon as I stepped through the church, I watched Griffins distraught mother slap and continue to hit Flint, which he made no effort to stop her until her husband reached out and held her back, 'I think you should leave', he tells him, with equal parts of sadness and anger in his voice, so he then walks away with his head bowed and I follow him.
'Agent Flint', I call out to him when he's reached outside and he turns to me, 'did I forget to leave something', he asks and I notice the scratches on his face when I neared him, 'No', I reply, whilst he avoids looking at me, 'Agent Byrne told me everything that really happened', I said and it's then he looks at me, 'you didn't have to lie on his behalf', I said because he didn't and shouldn't have vouched for him either, 'I'm sorry', he sighs, 'I was trying to protect his legacy and image, I didn't want him to die knowing everything was his fault so what better way then to take the fall for what happened tonight', he explains and I'm sighing to myself, 'even if it's to the expense of your own image and legacy', I said and he nods.
'It's better this way, everyone will think he's a hero for what he did, and he should rest easy knowing that', he says and I'm shaking my head.
'He is a hero', I said, 'but for this mission, his actions caused his own death, despite you and Byrne's protest and stopping him, you don't owe him for taking the fall for this, this was his fault no one else's', I said and he looks at me again, 'you did right by him, but taking the fall for something you had no part in, is just punishing yourself to blame for his death when you had no part in his death', I explain and when he doesn't say anything for a moment, he sighs, 'I'm sorry', he says and I nod, 'I know', I said and nudge my head, 'come on, we can continue this conversation over some food', I said and he nods and falls into step with me and we're greeted by the team, who I had left after I told them to give me a moment alone with Flint to talk to first.
________
'Here', I said when I take out the gun and badge and hand it back to him, 'I thought I was fired', he says when he looks at it, 'and as of this moment your not', I tell him and he looks at me, 'I'm not', he asks surprised, and I shake my head, 'nope, but you will be reprimanded for lying to me', I said and pick up one of my fries, 'I mean for challenging you', he says.
'If I didn't have idiot agents like yourself challenging me once in a while, my job would utterly be boring', I said and it earns me a laugh from him and the team, 'everyone's to scared of you to challenge you', he says and I'm laughing to myself, 'hence the reason I have idiots like you', I said and he laughs again and looks at his badge and gun.
'There's a long process of paperwork I have to do back at the compound', I said and eat one of my fries, 'I'm not taking no as an answer to not getting your job back, cause the fact is, I can't be bothered with the paperwork and the long process', I said and he smiles then picks it up and tucks them into his jacket and I smile to myself.
'Honestly', he begins, 'I doubt you even cared about the agents under you, even the ones that are dead, you just didn't seem to show an interest', he says and I'm pausing and looking at him, 'because I didn't want the job, until Coulson forced me to have it, and take control when you had no direction', I said and he nods.
'Right', he only answers and I move my hand on the table and drop my fries, 'Agent Ash', I said and it gains his attention and looks at me, 'Agent Atwood, Agent Benedict, Agent Benny, Agent Monroe, Agent Oakley', I begin to name and see the realisation in his eyes that I was naming all the dead agents that I had lost in my division, 'Agent Langley, Agent Meddow, Agent Avery', I list and take another breath, 'and as of recently Agent Griffin', I finish, 'just because I don't seem to care, and my brain doesn't work as well as it used too, I know everyone who works under me, especially the ones that are dead', I explain and it falls silent when I continue to eat.
'I heard', he breaks the silence, 'I'm sorry about everything you went through', he adds and I move my eyes to his, 'don't get soft on me Flint, it doesn't look good for you then', I said and he laughs again and continues to eat, 'so you wouldn't mind if I tell everyone back at the academy that you've gone soft', he says and I scoff under my breath, 'you ruin my rep, I won't mind doing the paperwork of your unemployment', I said and he laughs again.
'Oh and before I forget', I state, 'you'll be cleaning and taking stock at the auxiliary back at the academy', I said and he look up from his plate, 'that'll take months', he says.
'You shouldn't have lied to me, so now I'll have to reprimand both of you', I said and watch his brows furrow together, 'both of us', he repeats with confusion.
'Yeah, you and Byrne, just because he told the truth, it doesn't cancel out that he went with you guys and didn't alert me the moment you left your post', I state, 'he was supposed to be the responsible one out of both of you, so now he'll be punished too', I said.
'Well at least we can do the auxiliary together', he says and I shake my head, 'oh no, you'll be doing it yourself, I got something else in mind for him', I said, 'and speaking off, the both of you are banned from the gaming room for a month', I said and this time he stops eating.
'What, but...', he begins but I give him a look where he's keeping his mouth shut, 'your right, that's fair', he says and I smile to myself, 'see, now if you protested the idea, I would have doubled it and doubled again if you tried to talk your way out of it', I said and this time he smiles with the team laughing.
'What does Byrne have to do', he asks when I finish the last of my fries, 'train the cadets for a whole month', I reply, 'why, would you like to switch positions', I ask this time but he's quick to shake his head.
'I'm fine with the auxiliary, I'm not training and babysitting little runts', he says.
'Mmm, maybe I should switch the positions then', I said, a small wicked smile playing on my face and falling just as quickly.
'Please don't, I'll do three months in the auxiliary as punishment', he says and I'm laughing to myself, then clear everything back onto my tray.
'You should come by the academy', he states, 'we've got new stuff going on and there's going to be new areas build', he adds.
'Mmm, the last time I went everyone was on there best behaviour', I said and move my eyes to him, 'now I've learnt my lesson and will be going on a day no one suspects', I said and he chuckles.
'What division were you in', he asks and I see the curiosity on his face, I've caught cadets guessing, but none ever came so close, 'let me guess, you think it's communications', I said and he shrugs, 'that, or operations', he says, 'I'm betting on operations', he adds.
'Operations got boring for me, graduated six months into the academy', I said and he's watching me with narrowed eyes, 'you graduated in six months, how'd you manage that', he asks and I shrug this time, 'shield saw potential, I graduated earlier moved onto communications, that was a bore really', I state.
'So what then', he asks then begins to list all the divisions out and I shake my head in response, 'none of those', I said; 'Science and Technology', I said, 'I was very good, top of my class', I said.
'Damn, never would have got that one', he says and I shrug again, 'nobody does', I said and he smiles.
'Mmm', he mumbles this time, 'never would have guessed you to be the preppy and geeky kind', he says and I point my finger at him, 'hey, I'd have you know, I'm proud to be preppy and geeky', I said and he's laughing with everyone else.
________
When we got back to the compound, I was a little surprised to still see Coulson there, given how busy he is, I thought he'd go straight back to base and get into a new mission that had popped up on his radar.
'Y/n, we need to talk', he says and I grab an apple from the basket that sat on top of the kitchen island, 'about what', I ask.
'About how you handled that situation', he states and I open up a cabinet and grab a knife, 'I think I handled it great, minus the lying to me part', I said and then look up at him.
'It could have been handled differently', he states and I narrow my eyes at him, 'yeah and how do you supposed I do that', I said, 'you told me to give these agents direction, I did it without protest, you told me to train them, I did, you told me to reprimand them if something happened and I did it, so why are you giving me the third degree', I said, because I was getting tired of it.
'I only mean...', he begins but I'm sighing and interrupt him, 'no, you know what Coulson, if it concerns you so bad then you take them under your wing, I honestly don't care', I said and thrust the knife into the apple and cut in half angrily.
'I only mean that Shield is and always will be your birthright', he begins and I snap him a glare, 'No', I stop him there, 'my birthright was to die', I said and it quiets everyone in the room and I feel the burn in their eyes, 'you know it and I know it, so don't stand there and give me false lectures, it won't do any good', I said, 'because one way or another, the last of Hydra will go down, even if I die in the process', I add and everything and everyone stand so still that I would think they were statues.
'Y/n, we don't trade lives', Coulson sighs and I close my eyes and shake my head, briefly, then open them again, 'I'm not trading lives, because there is none to trade', I said and take a deep breath, 'I've been dead for a long time, only this time, I intended to keep the vow I kept and once I've completed it, I can be at peace', I state and sigh again until I look at Coulson again, 'there is nothing to live for anymore, I've been left with nothing and the only good thing that will come out of this is my death', I explain and then begin to leave, leaving the apple behind and heading up to get all the quiet I needed.