A/N: Longest chapter yet, and my favorite chapter yet... I wrote this while seeing Harry literally four times in five days so don't say I never did anything for y'all!!! Check authors notes at the end for pictures but for now, enjoy my best chapter yet!!!
HARRY'S POV:
I don't know why I think I know her anymore. I don't know why I'm consistently surprised by her. I don't know if I should even try or if I should just let things progress the way they would naturally. No matter what I know I'll be staying in California. I don't want to go back to England again, not unless it's a visit. Not unless Scarlett is coming to actually meet my mum and Gemma. I sit at my office desk, and I can hear Birdie's keyboard behind me as she types incredibly quickly, obviously enthused on what she's working on.
"What's got you fired up?" I ask her.
"Oh... Well, I was with Scarlett on Monday, remember?" She asks, and I nod as I look at her over my shoulder.
"You told me to get to know her so I could possibly learn more about this world. Get experience, and now a friend.. Though I obviously like her for personal reasons... She's also a literal goldmine for new fashion. I went to her apartment, and I did this mock interview with her like she was a designer, and she let me in her closet, and I saw all of her pieces... I think you're in love with a genius, and I think I might be in love with her too." She tells me, and though I'm proud of what she told me, I'm sitting on one particular spot.
"Excuse me... In love?" I ask, referring to what she had said about me in specific.
"Oh.. Well... Just a guess." She shrugs, and has the slightest smirk on her lips.
"You know nothing Birdie." I feel my own lips betray me, a smirk coming on for me too.
"I know more than you think." She sighs, out, and I roll my chair back towards her desk.
"Did you take photos?" I ask her, and she nods, clicking a few things on her small laptop. I look at just a few, and nod my head, not getting long enough to look at them. "And you recorded your interview, though it was fake, I assumed you conducted it as if it was real?" I ask, and she nods once more, showcasing the voice recording on her computer as well. I raise my eyebrows and nod in approval.
"It's only been two weeks, and you'd be fine without me it seems." She shakes her head, and I roll myself back to my desk. Scarlett is something to write about... Birdie has a topic at her feet with endless possibilities, and I see myself writing about Scarlett.. She's just gotta let that happen because I won't force it.. I know her well enough she'll think my only reasoning is to help her and not because she truly is the most unique designer that's coming into this industry. She just needs a bit more pushing to get started. She needs to be open to receiving anything from me. My phone vibrates, and I take the call, putting an earbud in my ear.
"Harry speaking." I answer.
"It's your mum, you don't need to be so formal." She speaks on the other end.
"Well I didn't know. I normally don't get personal calls unless I'm out of the office. Did you need something mum?" I ask her.
"I didn't know I needed something to call my own son." She speaks in a bit of a hurt tone, and I retract.
"You don't... I just.. I thought something might be wrong." I tell her.
"Nothing is wrong. I just haven't heard much from you since you moved back. How's your job, how is the apartment? Did you... did you end up-"
"I found her again." I answer, knowing that's exactly where this is going.
"Well tell me everything... Was she happy to see you again? When can I talk to her?" She asks, and this is one of the first times I've actually heard her excited in a long time. I almost feel tears in my eyes thinking of my mum this way... I think of crying just because I know there's no way I can tell her the state of Scarlett and I's friendship.
"Um... She's working here as well... I think maybe wait a while before you can talk to her again, she's adjusting just the same as I am, and we have a lot of lost time to make up for mum." I tell her, trying not to sound as down as the words make me feel.
"She won't talk to you will she?" She asks me, and I should have known better than to even try lying to her.
"She will... She just... It's like I said, it's an adjustment, and... and there's a lot of things left unsaid, a lot she doesn't know, and a lot I missed... A lot of stuff I know I should have been there for, and... and I don't know if there's any fixing this." I tell her my truthful thoughts.
"You know that's the last thing I want to hear. There's more time left for the two of you, and there's more pages to this story... I want to hear her voice again. I miss Scarlett." She tells me, and I almost tell her I do too, but I hold my tongue.
"I know mum. I promise I'll work on it with her... I love you, I have to get back to work now." I tell her, despite the fact that I'm actually about to leave and finish up the rest at home.
"Get some sleep. Call me when you can, I love you." She says it with desperation, and I know I can't avoid her like I have been. I just didn't want to call her without good news and there is none right now.
"Momma's boy" I hear Birdie cough under her breath behind me, and I shake my head.
"Eavesdropping is rude Birdie." I know she can hear the joking tone I have.
"Whatever." She laughs out, and I put my laptop in a messenger, and take my coat from the back of my desk.
"I'm working out of the office the rest of the night. Do you have everything you need? Money for dinner? A ride home? Do you have any questions? " I ask her, and she shakes her head.
"You don't have to take care of me, I've got it all..." She looks at me with an odd look, and for one second I stare and realize it's a look of appreciation. It looks like she's never in her life heard something like I just said, and I decide to walk back to her. I crouch down in front of her as she has her chair turned to me. I remember being an intern myself. I don't know why I feel so protective over Birdie. I don't know why I've taken on my job of mentoring her as if it's my job to shield her from everything, and also make sure everything is smooth for her. I don't know at all. I see tears well up in her eyes, and I shake my head.
"Why are you crying? I didn't mean to make you cry, I'm sorry." I shake my head, and she does the same.
"You're just nicer to me than half the people I would even call friends. I'm sorry, I'm just not used to it." She shakes her head again and wipes underneath her eyes.
"You don't have to apologize, it's okay to need people.. and I'd like to think we are friends now wouldn't you?" I ask her, and she pauses before nodding. "Friends take care of each other, okay? And besides that, if you fail miserably in this internship then I look bad too so I have to make sure you're in tip top shape." I joke, and she laughs. "You're sure you have everything you need?" I ask, and she nods her head.
"Well... I need you and Scarlett to be together." She shocks me with her response, and I feel my eyes thin as well as a small smirk appear on my lips. I stand up, and straighten out my suit jacket, keeping the smirk that now feels more like a close lipped smile.
"Working on that one." I answer back, and turn on my heel, towards the elevators. "Have a good night Birdie, and please message me when you get home safely." I tell her, and watch as she nods.
The drive back to my apartment is fairly quick for L.A. I pull into the parking garage, parking between the other two cars. I get out, removing my suit jacket. I throw it over my arm, and grab my messenger, holding it on my shoulder as I click the lock button behind me, hearing the car chirp back at me, signaling it's locked. I go to the elevator, going straight to my floor, and typing in my access code. I get upstairs, and throw my things down. It's later than I wanted. I told Scarlett to come by around 8, knowing I wouldn't get home until now, 7:30. I start to unbutton my shirt, and almost jump right out of my own skin.
"Don't stop on account of me." Scarlett sits on my couch with her feet propped up.
"What are you doing here?" I ask as she uncrosses her arms. Just a quick glance I can see her hand shake, she's nervous... or scared.. I'm not sure why, but it feels like something might be wrong.
"Wednesday is your day.. You gave me an access code, and it would be a shame to not use it wouldn't it?" She asks, but she still never answered my question.
"I can agree to that, but you're early." I remind her.
"I think It's time we ask each other what we've been wanting to ask each other now, what do you think?" She asks me, and I pause, looking at her. I'm not sure where this Scarlett came from but she seems forward, and ready to forgive me from the looks of it, though I'm worried it might be too good to be true. I nod my head, letting her take control of this moment.
"Going to go change then." I tell her, and she stands up, walking past me.
"I'll come with." She walks light, and I contemplate asking who the hell the person in front of me is, but I know that would probably make her act differently and I don't want that. I look at her outfit as I walk behind her, taking in. She's wearing pink corduroy pants that fit her well, a plain white shirt, and she carries a blue handbag.
That's something I can't help but notice about her, the fact that she never necessarily matches but she loves complimenting colors with other colors, and patterns with other patterns, my work brain goes wild with every outfit I see... Mostly because...
"Did you make any of this?" I ask her and she looks behind her as I point to her outfit.
"The pants.. And I hand painted these too." I look at her shoes, and can't believe I hadn't noticed them before. She gets to the top of the steps, and lifts up her pants, showing off the shoes with such an abstract pattern.
More colors, she's not the type to wear anything understated.. Not anymore at least. "Stop staring okay, I know they aren't perfect but I didn't really have the exact materials I needed, and as for the pants I-"
"Scarlett they are perfect... You're the kind of person people pass on the street, and they'll think about you all day not just because of how pretty you are but also because you look like you walked out of a magazine... I mean that." I tell her, speaking my mind as freely as I would have all those years ago, and I notice her cheeks turn pink.
"It's just clothes." She brushes me off, and I shake my head.
"When did you start making your clothes?" I ask her, walking into my bedroom with her. She throws her purse down, and then herself. I watch as she starts to lift up her leg so she can unzip her boot, but I made it my own mission. I take her ankle, and unzip the shoe, taking a look at it up close now, seeing how intricate the designs actually are.. And she said they weren't perfect.
"I started making my own clothes when I started seeing exactly how vile the fashion industry was, and seeing how a lot of the things I wanted weren't on the runways, they were in my head. I only made things from extra fabrics that weren't being used that way, nothing got wasted, and... Well yeah. But don't tell anyone I stole fabric." She points at me, and I shake my head, lifting her other ankle from the floor.
"Why would I do that when it was being wasted anyways?" I ask and she shrugs. I let her other leg fall, and take the shoes, placing them by the door. I walk to my dresser, ignoring the fact that my hands are sweating right now, and my heart is about to shatter because of how hard it's beating on my ribs. I take out a tshirt, and a pair of shorts, knowing we most likely won't be going anywhere.
"Why are you home early?" She asks, and I look over my shoulder, unbuttoning the rest of my shirt, taking it off slowly. I let it fall and I start pulling the shirt on. Her eyes are locked on mine, and I don't know why she's staring so intensely, but she is... She's trying to stay focused.. That's what it looks like anyways. I fight the urge to smirk. I unbutton my pants, and start to walk away, knowing I'm not trying to make her feel uncomfortable.
"I could ask you why you're home as well.. You should have been leaving around the same time as me." I fight back, knowing there's more to this intern story she hasn't told me.. Though she barely tells me anything at this point.
"Didn't go in today." She tells me.
"Why?" I ask back, cracking the door as I walk into the bathroom. I change quickly.
"Because I didn't feel like it." She covers her truth with a small blanket, and I know there's more than just not feeling like it.
"Why Scarlett?" I ask, and walk back into the room, picking my shirt from the ground, throwing it as well as my pants in a hamper.
"Because." She fights again. I feel a temper growing stronger, knowing this isn't just something I'll get over.
"Darling..." I walk to her, and flip her chin up to look at me. "I need you to know something. I basically own half of this branch of Vogue now. I have power over your boss, I have power over you, and I don't want to exert that power, but I will get my answers. Either do this the easy way, my preferred way... Or I can figure it out on my own." I explain calmly, and she looks at me with the same soft pout she uses on me. I feel my heart melt a bit, but keep my stern attitude.
"My boss is a raging cunt." She explains, and I laugh, not expecting those words. I walk around my bed, and towards the door.
"I expect a full report, I'll be right back." I tell her. I trot down the stairs, and reach into the cabinet, grabbing two glasses, and then into the pantry to grab a bottle of red. I walk back up the stairs, and pull the top, pouring a glass as I walk and handing it to her. She takes it, scooting herself back on my bed. Red wine on a white bed never sounded like a good idea until right now... I pour my own glass, and sit next to her, my back pressed to the headboard too. "Well I'm waiting." I nod my head.
"It's nothing you really need to worry about, she just doesn't think I have what it takes. She's hard on me, and I just think maybe I should be moving on to something else at this point Harry." She shakes her head, and takes a sip of the bitter wine.
"I don't think I've ever heard anything as ignorant as what you just said Scarlett." I tell her.
"Why are you mad?" She asks, hearing my tone, and I feel a dry laugh fall from my mouth.
"Because no matter if you were good or absolute shit, you still made it into this intern program meaning you do have some inkling of talent. It's her job as an advisor and boss to help you, not set you up for failure. She is not only standing in your way herself, but setting up extra roadblocks and I-"
"She's just showing me what the real world is like.." She cuts me off, and I shake my head.
"No, she's showing you the reality of her world, and she is projecting. She had it hard because she wasn't really that good. She doesn't like that you're more talented than the majority of the designers that are selling out, and blowing up as we speak. She doesn't like the thought that you have more success brewing in your future than she'll ever have in her life." I fight, and then there's silence. "I'm sorry." I apologize, knowing how incredibly heated I've become.
"Don't apologize for protecting me.." She speaks, and I look at her now, shocked by her words.
"Who are you and what have you done with Scarlett?" I ask, knowing I was trying so hard not to break this reality, but I can't help it.
"I've done nothing with her, I'm just not in the mood to pretend to hate it today." She answers truthfully.
"What did you want to talk about?" I ask her, and she sighs.
"The past two years..." She shrugs, speaking casually.
"Very vague Scar, I'm going to need a bit more." I lift my glass to my lips.
"Did you date anyone?" She asks outright, and I choke only my wine, coughing now. She looks at me like I'm crazy, and I shake my head. "What? It's a valid question." She defends.
"It is, but I wasn't expecting it." I tell her, and sit up some more. "Um, yeah I went on dates with a few people but nothing ever stuck." I tell her truthfully, and she nods, but doesn't speak, seeming like she wants more.
"Why not?" She asks, and though this feels a bit awkward I know it shouldn't because this is something we used to talk about constantly.. We were a lot closer back then but still. She asked me why and it was because none of them reminded me of her, and I don't want to tell her that because I know it will only bother her.. But I also feel bad lying.
"Do you want the truth?" I ask, giving her the option.
"Does it have to do with me?" She asks, and I hesitate before nodding. She tilts her glass, drinking the rest of its contents before holding her hand out. She reaches over me, taking the bottle. "Alright, tell me the reason, lover boy." She smiles, and I don't know why this feels so domestic, so normal to talk with her about, but it does. And it feels uncomfortable just the same..
"Well I wanted to not feel as lonely as I did so I went out with people, and I felt like none of them were close enough to you so I didn't pursue them.. That's really as simple as it was. I wanted someone my mum would like... She wouldn't like them. I wanted to find a friend even if they weren't anything more, but none of them were." I tell her honestly, and she shakes her head.
"How can you talk about your feelings so casually?" She asks as she finishes pouring herself a glass.
"My feelings for you, or my feelings in general?" I ask.
"For me." She clarifies.
"Because I'm not going to lie to you, or pretend they aren't there, and I'm not going to act like I don't have them because that won't feel very good to me.. If it bothers you tell me, but until then I'll keep talking about them." I tell her.
"I feel like it should bother me... I feel like it should bother you too.. I mean you fled the country after I rejected you, why do you even want to be my friend again?" She asks casually, and I shake my head.
"Once again, I didn't leave the country because you weren't interested, I left for my own reasons... and either way I never would have stopped being your friend." I clarify.
"You're right, that was my fault. Sorry about that by the way." She nods, remembering, and apologizing.
"Forgiven." I speak out.
"You didn't answer my question... Why do you still want to be my friend?" She asks again.
"It's simple really. I had to live my life without you being anything, and I didn't enjoy it at all.. You stated clearly that you didn't want to be anything more with me than my friend. If I can't love you as something more than I will continue to love and protect you as my best friend because you always have been and always will be important to me.. Whether you like it or not, might I add." I speak openly, and she is looking at me, staring at me more like.
"You know I love you right?" She asks, and I feel my heart do something I don't think it's ever done. Did it stop? Did it beat faster? Did it completely fall out of my body? I've heard her say it before, we were inseparable all of those years ago, of course I remember her saying it but not since then.
"Um... Yeah, I guess I do." I shake my head, not knowing how I'm even supposed to feel right now.
"It doesn't sound like you do." She answers, and my heart hasn't slowed one bit.
"Again... I wasn't expecting that.." I tell her.
"Maybe you should expect the unexpected." She tells me, and she's right. I should. I drink more wine, and she does the same, and I finish my glass just as she had done before. I pour myself more, and she watches as I do, and sighs, setting her glass down.
"I'm sorry." She apologizes, and I look at her from the side, waiting to see where this is going to go. "I shouldn't have blown you off, or been mean to you. I shouldn't have said I didn't want you in my life. I shouldn't have cut you off in the first place when you moved home." She apologies to me, despite not necessarily needing to.
"You're forgiven." I tell her simply. "I'm sorry too.. For leaving. I had to leave, but I am sorry. I'm sorry for not trying to explain it, I'm sorry I went two years letting this sit unresolved. I'm sorry for everything that happened that I wasn't here for... I'm sorry I made you feel this way." I apologize to her, still leaving some things unsaid.
"I have to talk to you about something..." She speaks out, and I feel my stomach drop.
"Anything.." I tell her, feeling the hopeful feeling start to disappear.. This conversation was going in the perfect direction, and now I'm walking around in the dark with no idea where it's going.
"I'm... I hate asking for help... I hate asking anyone for help, but I can't ask my parents. I have no friends. I have no one." She explains, and I shake my head.
"Scarlett I don't care what you ask me for the answer is yes. Nothing too big or small, what's the problem, what's going on?" I ask, angling myself towards her. I notice that her eyes are glossy now, and she seems nervous again. This is bothering her, and it's not just asking for help, it's a lot more than that.
"We're being evicted." She tells me, and I nod my head.
"What day do you need a moving truck to bring your stuff here? Or do you want an apartment? You don't have to stay here.. Or just for the time being... I have room for you and Sierra." I tell her, feeling hopeful that she'll move in. Then I'll have her with me all the time. She covers her face, and shakes her head, and I reach forward. "None of that.. No crying, why are you upset?" I ask her, letting my hand linger on her jaw for only a moment.
"Because I was sure you would think the only reason I apologized was because I need help.. I constantly tell myself you're not going to be the same person. I villainize you in my head so I don't want to be your friend, but you're just the same as you were years ago, and we're doing the same thing we used to in college right now, and... and I feel so shitty having to ask you for help Harry... I don't want your help, I want to be fine." She tells me, and this is the first time I've heard her actually tell me how she feels from the moment I met her again.
"I wouldn't think that Scarlett because if I know anything about you, it's that you don't ever say things you don't mean.. Especially not apologies... I was the villain, I did something wrong, I left you, and I didn't give a valid reason, so stop trying to tell yourself your feelings are wrong.. I want you to be fine too and sometimes we need help so we can be fine, and that's what I'm going to do.. I want to help you. Just tell me what you need." I tell her.
"I need somewhere to go..." She tells me, and I set down my wine glass, and reach for her face, wiping the tears from her eyes. I keep hold of her face, and look at her, studying her pink cheeks. She looks glowy right now, right after she cried.
"Then come here... No crying because it's all going to be fine. You're going to be fine.. You're moving in, no more arguments alright?" I ask, and she nods her head. "And we're friends again.." I tell her, and she looks at me with a more serious glint in her eyes. "Okay, I won't push it... But we're... On the road to friendship?" I ask.
"I can't drive so it'll be a long road." She warns me, and if I could kiss her right now I would. I smile, and pull her into me, pressing her head to my chest. I hug her, and she doesn't hug me back, but she doesn't move, or pull away. She just lets me hug her, and i feel the biggest weight lift off of my chest...
"Since you asked before... Did you date anyone in the past two years?" I ask, changing the subject.
"Well..." Her voice flips up, and I feel the biggest sense of jealousy swarm in my chest.
"Well what?" I ask.
"I wouldn't call it dating. I didn't really actually like any of them.. I don't like most people.." She shrugs.
"So you...." I ask, and she sighs.
"A few one night stands.. But none of them count." She tells me, and I tilt my head, trying to understand what she means, and then I remember her words from years ago... It doesn't count unless- "If I don't finish it doesn't count." She tells me, and I nod.
"I remember, and I feel like you can definitely tell if a guy can make you cum just by looking at him Scarlett, shame on you for not looking into the men you sleep with." I joke, and she scoffs. "Show me pictures.. Let me see them." I smirk, knowing I'm doing this to make her feel better, but also myself. Making fun of Scarlett's ex's is my favorite pastime.
"You're one to talk okay, all of your exes-"
"We're not talking about my exes, show me pictures." I fight back with her. She picks up her phone, and goes to her social media. She types in a name, going straight to an instagram of a man she doesn't follow back.. That's a good sign.. The bad sign? His name is literally Carter. "His name is enough Scar.. He's like the poster child for bad sex with a name like that." I tell her, and steal her phone.
"Don't like anything, I don't want him to think I'm still interested." She warns me.
"Trust me I think he gets the idea... Let me guess, you told him didn't you?"I ask, and click on his first photo. Holding a seltzer, dressed as Hugh Hefner....
"Of course I did. He left me unfinished so I decided to bruise his ego." She laughs, and I shake my head. "This picture should have been enough to tell me his dick is small." She shakes her head too, and takes her phone back.
"Okay next." I nod my head, and she goes to the next one. I take it from her hands right away with a dropped jaw.
"He looks like a pretty good guy, are you sure?" I ask.
"Um... Yes I'm sure, this proves that they have a good poker face. BDE doesn't always mean good in bed. But he's cute isn't he?" She asks, and I nod, and shrug.
"I'm cuter." I tell her, and she rolls her eyes. "Sam... Is it short for Samuel?" I ask her, and she nods. "Okay, and he's a rich kid? You should've known." I joke, and she slides away from his profile, pulling up another. Make jokes so you don't feel bad for yourself... That's how we get through this.
"Here." She shows me someone I vividly remember from college with her, and my jaw actually drops. She cringes, and covers her face, and I wish I could yell, that's how much I cannot believe she slept with him.
"Miles? Are you joking.. You have to be joking, you're trying to get a reaction aren't you?" I ask her, and she shakes her head, but it's obvious she regrets her choice. "How bad.. On a scale of one to ten.. Ten being the worst I have to know.." I ask, and she laughs.
"You guess first, I want to know." She smirks, and thinks for a second.
"9... It can't be an 8, I won't believe you." I tell her.
"Oh you gave him more credit than I would have. 10 for sure.. He was absolutely the worst sex I've ever had in my entire life." She argues.
"That's pretty bad considering his competitors.." I joke, and she shoves my to the side. We both laugh, and I pick up my wine glass again.
"What was the best sex you've ever had. Do you even remember?" She asks, and I shrug, and shake my head.
"That girlfriend I had when you first met me... What was her name... " I try to remember, picturing her face.
"Oh my god she was a bitch." Scarlett remembers right away.
"But.. She was good in bed." I tell her, arguing for her case... "Sofia! That was her name. She was nice sometimes." I argue, and Scarlett scoffs.
"Yeah, if you consider the literal devil to be nice sometimes." She jokes.
"You're over exaggerating." I roll my eyes, knowing how over dramatic she is.
"I'm literally not.. And I'm done talking about your shitty ex girlfriends." she tells me, as if we didn't just go through the men she slept with.
"But-"
"No. I don't want to think about you have sex with other people." She argues, and I don't know if she meant it in the way it sounds, but I take it that way for my ego.
"I was just going to point out that I'm also good in bed." I tell her, and she laughs.
"That's what they all say.." She sighs, and I laugh.
"So what's your answer.. Best sex you've ever had?" I ask, and she laughs.
"Fuck if I know. I'd be lying if I named anyone, they've all been shit." She sighs, and reaches over me, grabbing the bottle of wine.
"I don't know if that's smart.." I reach for the bottle, and she keeps it with her, turning the bottle up as she sits on her knees.
"I think I'm only good at bad ideas, so let me thrive. Will you?" She asks with a smile, her plush lips pressed together, and I don't know how I could ever tell her no... She's moving in.. She's going to be friend, and if I'm lucky enough maybe, just fucking maybe I'll be able to be more than that if she'll give up this friend thing... Unless it's not actually a thing, and she really doesn't see me in that light... I wish I knew. "Get us another bottle... Would you?" She asks me, and I push myself up, feeling the first one already... Should I get another bottle? No.. Am I going to do it.. Of course I am.
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A/N: IM LITERALLY SO IN LOVE WITH THEM😵💫 this is going to be so good....
Also the fact that Harry is so freaking sweet.. every new story I write the more I fall in love with the Harry I write please let me die.
Okay now.... My Harry show...
I Went to four shows in five days which is a lot I know. I was in New York like 24 hours ago)::: but!!! I had the time of my life!
Also, if your remember the atlanta shows... the sunglasses and the fan he remembered from night 1.... That was me... here's my pictures!! (Again I posted more on my Instagram @emmacantrelll)
Here was my outfit for atlanta night 1
And here was my outfit for atlanta night 2!
And then these are my Harryween costumes!!
Night 1 me and my bestie were the love bunnies (lot merch bunnies)
Night 2 I was Elton John and I handmade this costume!! (It was also posted on NY Times!)