Speaking your mind the moment a thought pops into your head can have its own repercussions. In my case, I'm pretty damn sure that I want Charlotte, but in what capacity...I still need to figure that part out. Giving her hope for more may have been a mistake on my part but honestly, looking at the way her face lit up from my words and feeling the way that I do about it, I highly doubt it.
There's no more convincing myself that I don't want her. The moment those words came out of my mouth, I knew them to be true. I knew far before then, I just didn't want to admit it even to myself.
Her emerald green eyes stare into mine, shocked and hopeful and I can't help but reach out and run my knuckles gently along the smooth skin of her face. Turning back to the front to pretend to focus on the lecture while I actually collect my thoughts, Charlotte picks her jaw up off the floor and seems to do the same.
"Come to lunch with me after this?" I ask, not turning my head to face her but feeling the heat of her stare on the side of my face. Out of the corner of my eyes, I see her nod her head. Until now, Charlotte has been the one making all the moves and putting in the effort to know me, it's about time I do my part to see where this could go and how good it could be if I give her a chance.
"Yeah." She says almost breathlessly. "Okay."
I smile. "Okay."
"So...um." She gulps down her nerves and now that I'm allowing myself to look at her this way, I find it endearing as hell how nervous she is when she's always been outgoing and straightforward. "Did you really mean what you said? Because I know that you know how I feel about you." She says, her voice growing smaller as she admits her feelings.
"Charlotte look at me." She does, her eyes immediately darting up to meet mine. "I wasn't lying. But now isn't the time or place to get into it. Spend some time with me." I say, looking around the crowded cafeteria and feeling quite anxious. What an awful idea this was; all I want is to spend some time with her without excuses or other people around.
Although, thinking about being alone with Charlotte now is equally intimidating for an entirely different reason. She cuts off my thoughts with a smile. "Yeah, okay. I would like that." She says, biting her full lips together to hide a smile, which in turn forces me to do the same.
"Happy Birthday, by the way," I say and I get those gorgeous eyes on me again, mesmerizing me for a second.
"Thank you, Alexander. I didn't even make my wish yet and it already came true." She smirks, back to her usual self and I can feel my cheeks begin to turn red.
"Okay, cheeseball." I wave her off but can't stop the chuckle that escapes my mouth. She's grinning now and each second that I look at her and spend with her, I find myself thanking my decision to speak before thinking earlier, something that I usually pride myself on never doing.
"I was actually meaning to ask you. I need to figure out what to do with Moony. Reed said I should ask you but I didn't want to put any pressure on you..." She says, looking hopeful.
"Hey, of course, you can ask me. I actually have an idea but I'm not sure you'll love it. At first." I add, smiling sheepishly. She looks at me with narrowed eyes but nods so I continue. "So...I happen to know someone who has space and a little bit more of the freedom needed to take care of a puppy. With help."
"The way you're omitting the name leaves me to believe that I know this person and won't enjoy hearing who they are, Alexander." She says and my mind blanks for a second when my name leaves her mouth with her accent wrapped tightly around it. I blink a few times.
"You can trust her."
"Tell me her name and I'll decide that for myself." She challenges.
"It's Maddie," I say and watch as she scrunches her face up in an adorable way.
"I'm listening."
"That was pretty much it. I know we can trust her, she likes dogs, she lives alone, and apparently, she has a yard."
"Apparently?"
"I've never actually been there. To her place. As far as I know, no one has."
"Not even Reed?"
"Not yet at least. I don't know. Anyway, she's just misunderstood by most people. I feel like I know her well enough to trust her with something like this. And we wouldn't make her do it alone, we could all take turns when we can." I say.
Charlotte looks skeptical, but neither of us has any other options and I think she knows it because her shoulders slump. "Okay, I want to see how Moony does at her house first though."
"Makes sense." I agree.
"We'll do it soon." She says and I raise an eyebrow.
"Soon? Putting off giving her up?" I ask and she looks at me like my question is dumb; I guess it kind of is. "Okay, okay." I hold my hands up in surrender. "Definitely not today. Why don't we go get her and do something for the rest of the day."
"Like...skip our class and the lab later?" Charlotte asks skeptically. "Seems we may be making a habit out of this."
"Maybe not the lab...but yeah. We can always watch the recording of the lecture later." I try to convince her, not wanting to go away from her just yet as we start cleaning up our table.
"Only if you promise to help because I was planning on going to office hours." She says, her eyes slowly growing eager. "What will we do?"
"Let's go find out."
"I had no idea that this place was here!" Charlotte exclaims and I can't keep my eyes off of her as hers dart around the place, Moony in her arms because she hates putting her down, preferring to snuggle up to her. I lead her to a chair and pull it out for her, earning myself a thankful look with those killer eyes that I don't look away from for even a second as I move around the circular table to sit in my own chair.
"Found this place last week when I was watching her, been wanting to bring you girls since," I say, referring to the pet-friendly cafe that I found in a not-so-quick search online; apparently this place is gatekept quite securely and it's mostly locals that know about it through word-of-mouth.
"Would you hold her so that I can order for us?" Charlotte asks and I shake my head, standing up.
"Just tell me what you want. I got it." I smile and watch her fair cheeks turn pink.
"Okay. One iced green tea, please." She avoids my eyes again, busying her hands in Moony's smooth coat. I can't help but continue to think about the future every time I look at her.
By the time I order our drinks and a lemon bar for us to share, Moony is on the ground, running around and playing as best she can while still on her leash, easily tangling herself up while Charlotte laughs and tries to help her.
"Thank you, Alexander." She says, accepting her cold drink from my outstretched hand, pulling my chair around to sit closer to her rather than across. Now that I've admitted to feeling something for her, I don't want any space between us.
I pull the candle from where I shoved it into my pocket and stick it into the top of the lemon bar, pulling out the lighter and lighting it as well before Charlotte can say anything. Rubbing the back of my neck, I feel laid bare as she stares at me with what looked like awe and appreciation in her eyes when I briefly glanced at them.
"Alexander. I don't quite know what to say." She says, biting her lower lip and successfully distracting me from what I was about to say.
"It's nothing."
"It is definitely something." She tilts her head. "Thank you for doing this for me. And for everything you've been doing to help me with her." She says as she runs a hand over Moony's head. "Today has been...unexpected."
"In a good way, I hope."
"Of course. But...what made you say something now? I mean...it's been..."
"A long time coming?" I ask her, feeling sheepish.
"Yeah."
"I don't know why I fought it...you, so hard. You're kind of everyone's dream girl. It's a little intimidating." I admit and her eyes widen enough to make her face look comical.
"I'm intimidating." She deadpans. Stating it, more so than questioning it.
"Don't fish for compliments, Charlotte." I joke but her mouth hangs open.
"Fish for—" She purses her lips, pressing her tongue into her cheek visibly and taking a deep breath in through her nose before letting it go the same way. "You..." She shakes her head.
"Go on." I tease.
"You sure about that?" She asks playfully, her accent making the words sound teasing and...hot, now that I'm being honest with myself.
"Oh, I'm sure. Let me hear it."
"First of all, I am not fishing for compliments. Second of all, if you think that I am the intimidating one, you're absolutely mad." She says exasperatedly and I stare for a solid ten seconds before a loud laugh bursts out of me.
"How am I intimidating?" I ask, and cut her off quickly, continuing. "And don't say because I'm tall. So are you."
"For a girl."
"No. Don't belittle it. It's a fact. Facts aren't subjective."
"Well alright then. Do you own a mirror? You're objectively hot." She says sarcastically and I smirk.
"Oh yeah?"
"Like you don't know that you are. You're athletic, smart, and handsome. How is that not intimidating?" She continues on and I feel myself light up inside at her words. I always knew that she was attracted to me, but hearing all of these things leave her mouth is entirely different from making my own assumptions.
"So is that why you like me?" I ask, curious now.
"I like how you treat Reed. And you're helpful and kind. The fact that you're good at so many things helps; capability is sexy." She says, her confidence obviously at an all-time high the more she goes on, now that I'm receptive towards what she says. I sit up straight and shift in my seat.
"Wanna get out of here?" I ask, suddenly wishing that I could have an excuse to hold her hand or just be closer to the heat of her body. My eyes briefly glance down before I realize that I'm checking her out and I look up, glancing at her intricate braid this time and appreciating how much time it must have taken her to do on her own. My hand unknowingly reaches up to feel it.
"Sure, as long as you're taking me to the library, big boy." She smirks, standing up with our puppy in her arms and leading the way, pulling me along with an invisible cord stringing me along and forcing me to follow wherever she's willing to take me.