A/N: Last chapter so some scenes will be short. I am so sad😭. Enjoy your reading. The next chapter will be the epilogue music on top like always.
Two weeks later:
In the letter Nina wrote me she told me to meet her at the coffee shop at five pm, on December 27.
It's January fifteen, I started my new year without her.
Most of the plans I had made for this year were with her, and now that she isn't here I had to change them up.
I went back to school Monday this week. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done but I had to do ut eventually. I know Nina would've wanted me to graduate and I am partly doing this for her.
I haven't really been out since then except going to school and back.
My dad drives me and I don't mind simply because I know I can't do it myself.
Spencer, he went back to college when he found out Nina was dead. I haven't seen him since and I honestly don't want to.
He can die for all I care.
I'm graduating a little bit earlier than my classmates since I haven't been attending school, they offered alternatives to make me graduate easily and I accepted. I want to get out of here.
That's my purpose.
My purpose is to get out of this town as soon as graduate and get my certificate. I'm going to move to North Carolina, start a new life there, and major in business.
That's what I have planned so far, that's all I see when I think of a future without her.
I miss her. I wish I could hold her one last time.
Sighing I try to get up but fail miserably. My head feels heavy and my body feels light, I feel dizzy.
This shit has been going on for over a week now and I don't know what to do to stop it. I try to eat but it just doesn't set good on my stomach. I think it's just the lack of sleep, I'll get better, eventually.
I grab my shoes and toss them in my bed as I grab a grey hoodie and put it over my white t-shirt. As I finish, I put my shoes on and grab my notebook.
————
As I open the door the smell of freshly made coffee fills my nostrils. I enter and sit in the booth I used to whenever I came here with her. I put the notebook on the table and sigh.
It feels so...wrong being here especially when this place was her favorite. She would come here to think about her decisions and now I feel like I'm taking that from her too.
"Chase,"
I don't have to look up to know who it is. Of course, I knew that the chances of her being here were pretty high, she pretty much owns the shop.
She sits across from me and at first, I think she's about to speak but I'm proved wrong when all I hear is silence.
Through my lashes I see her doing exactly what I am. Looking down with a face of sorrow.
Sometimes I forget that she lost Nina too. They didn't know each other that long but they did share a pretty intense bond.
It's crazy to say that but it's the truth. I want to believe I am the only one suffering because sometimes I can't with the guilt. It eats me up every damn time and there is nothing I could do about it since I practically deserve it.
After a few minutes of utter silence, Cara speaks again. "Why didn't you go?" Her voice was barely above a whisper.
Because it was me, I was the one who hurt her.
I don't answer.
"You were her boyfriend. She would've wanted you to be there." She speaks again, probably waiting for some sort of answer.
An answer she won't get.
Yes, I was her boyfriend, a terrible boyfriend who betrayed her in the cruelest way possible as she described it.
"She loved you some much, you know?" Her voice cracked a little. "She would always talk about you when we were hanging out."
My fist clenched.
Stop. I don't want to remember that much, just please shut the fuck up, I don't want to feel it.
"She once told me you were the love of her life." Cara sniffled.
Maybe, but I betrayed her. I didn't deserve to be a part of her life at all. I should've just left as soon as she told me her name.
"She wanted you."
And I wanted her.
But I betrayed her.
"Say something goddammit!" She slammed her palms against the table. "She loved you, Chase! She loved you and you didn't even bother to show up to her funeral!"
I still didn't look up. I know I didn't show up, how the fuck was I supposed to? I am not that false.
"Fine," Cara whispered. "If you don't want to talk, don't. But the least you can do is talk to Nina, and you'll do that as you stare down her grave wishing you had done it before." She said then stood up, and walked away.
I'm afraid to do so. I don't want to know where she's buried, or where she is at all. All I want is to do is move on, but Cara is right.
Nina was and is still a big part of my life and me, I can't just pretend that she never existed-not that I want to, not that I will.
She will always be with me, a part of me that reminds me to keep fighting every day. I owe her that, an explanation. So without further to do, I open the notebook and start writing.
———-
I asked Jacob where they had buried nina, and when he sent me the location I immediately ordered a cab and headed towards the cemetery. I got here an hour later and I bought a single white rose with me. I have been here for over two hours now.
Just sitting here.
I am starting down at the girl I love. I didn't have time to tell her how much I loved her, so now I am. I am telling her that I love her as I stand up her gravestone.
I place the note on top of the letters and bring the rose to my lips. I kiss it and kneeled to place it on the small jar.
Nina Morgan.
Daughter, friend, sister.
"Happiness is hard to find"
I stand up and look at the grave beside her.
Liam Morgan.
Son, father, friend, husband.
"Every good dream has an end"
"I am so sorry, Mr. Morgan. Rest In Peace."
As I was about to leave, I glanced back at Nina's grave. There it was a single white flower-not the one I brought her.
How did it got here...
I frowned and looked closer, when I see that it starts to move I pick it up. Then, an orange ladybug started crawling its way into the inside of the lily.
Something in me urged me to kiss it and so I did.
"We will meet again." I placed it back and left.
——-
I walk out of the cemetery and decide to take a walk around my old town.
Nina's old town.
I never belonged here anyway, it was a good thing my father decided to move.
He considered doing it again once he found out about Nina's death but I stopped him.
I told him that his new life was here and that I will start mine as soon as I graduate. As I was crossing a lonely street my phone starts ringing. Without looking at the contact number I answer, knowing it's my dad.
He is the only one who calls me now.
"Hello?" I said.
"Chase? Its me."
I froze before my blood began to boil.
"What do you want? You already ruined my life, Spencer, what else could you possibly do to me?"
"I-I... I just wanted to apologize for that night-I didn't- I just wanted you to know how sorry I am for causing you all that pain when you were just a kid." His voice sounds shaky.
My grip on the phone tightened. "Why did you do that? Why did you manipulate me into doing something I didn't want to do? I only wanted your approval, Spencer, but you took advantage of me."
I heard him sigh.
"I did a lot of fucked up shit, Chase. I was so fucking selfish that I didn't want you to say anything because then it would've been me in prison and not you. I guess I was just jealous of you."
I scoffed. "Jealous? Why could you possibly be so jealous of me?"
"You were just a kid when mom died. I wasn't. She was the only person who didn't treat me like a troubled kid. She gave me love and a friend to count on. She gave me everything...But when she died...she took a piece of me with her. I was only ten when she died and for a kid that young it sure was a lot for me. Nobody understood my pain, and dad was always looking after you and when he wasn't it was because of me...just like you're life is hell because of me."
He sounds sincere. But why does that matter now?
"What are you talking about?" I ask.
"I'm tired, Chase. I have decided to make things right. I'm going to turn myself in."
He can't be serious.
"I don't want to cause any more pain to the people I love because that's what I do. I will be safe there. I'll get clothed, fed, and have a bed to sleep in. The only thing missing will be my freedom, but I already lived... I just didn't do it the right way. Dad knows already so this is my goodbye, Chase-oh and one more thing...I never hated you. Take care, little brother."
Before I can even answer there is a loud beep in the other line.
I bring my phone away from my ear and look at the number ID. Unknown.
He must've called from a telephone.
This is it.
Everything seems to be okay. I will be okay
Everything will be okay. One last time
——-
A month later.
"Chase, are you sure you want to do this, son?" My father asks through the phone for the tenth time this day.
Sighing I slowly pulled into a gas station that was sitting out here.
"Yes, dad. We talked about this." I say and get down from my car.
I opened the door and threw the guy a fifty dollar bill for gas on pump seven. Today is the day that I get the hell out of here and start my new life.
"I could go-"
"Dad, I said I'm going to be fine." I cut him off before he goes back there.
If he wants me to move on from what happened a month ago he had to be able to let me go without fear of what I'll do next if I'm not with him twenty-four- seven.
"Chase, I just want you to be happy."
Happy.
I was happy, about a few months ago when the love of my life was alive. I shook my head and put the gas pump back.
"I will be, away from everything." I go back into the shop and ask the guy for some cigarettes.
"You promise to come visit?"
"Yeah, I-I don't know about that." I say and hand the guy some cash, also grabbing a lighter.
There is no way in hell I would ever come back here. For what? Everything I once wanted here is gone, all of it.
"Alright then, I'll go looking for you." He said as I went out and lit my cigarette.
"I'll be alright, I will need time to settle in first." I say taking a puff. "Let me do that first, 'kay?"
I released the vapor and go back into my car. I start it but not before I throw away the cigarette out of the window.
Nina hated when I drove and smoked.
"Take care, son."
Not wanting to make things more complicated, I give him a small answer.
"You too, dad."
With that, I hung up and drove away.
New start.
******
A/N: This was the last chapter 😭
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