Warning: lots of talk of mental health issues, past trauma, attempted suicide, self harm- please read cautiously and lets keep the jokes to the minimum for this one :)
Yelena is 17 in this imagine. She only just escaped the red room a few months back. You and Natasha are married, she's 28 in this and managed to escaped the red room when Yelena was 10.
If you suffer with mental health, then please talk to someone.
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What's the biggest lie you've ever told?
Most people would say something about a past relationship, or friendship. Some have some deep secrets that they lie about.
But let's be real, we all know the biggest lie told is:
"I'm fine"
Because, are you actually? Or do you just want people to stop asking?
How many people can honestly answer that dreaded question?
"Are you okay?"
Can you?
11 percent of the world's population are effected by mental health. It's not always depression and anxiety, but other problems.
Did you know, roughy 1 million people every year die by suicide?
On average, 132 people kill themselves everyday, because mental health is not taken seriously.
"You're not depressed, it's just a phase"
"You can't be tired, you don't do anything"
"Get out of bed, don't be lazy"
"You don't need therapy, it's a waste of time"
"You're just looking for attention"
"Mental health isn't a real illness"
But if mental health isn't an illness, then why are people dying from it?
Less than 50 percent of people who suffer with mental health, seek treatment. Less than 50 percent.
We are told that being depressed is just us being tired, or going through a bad patch in life. But that couldn't be more wrong. Not many people can say they recover from depression, anxiety. It doesn't go away over night.
It's painful. Emotionally and physically. It mentally scars you and there is not a lot that helps.
Sure, there are antidepressants. Viibryd, celexa,
zoloft, prozac- the list goes on and on. But at the end of the day, they're all the same. We think they help because that's what we're taught to believe that. But happiness doesn't come from a pill. It just doesn't.
But if it doesn't come from a pill, where does it come from?
Is anyone actually truly happy?
Yelena knows that she's not. The last time she remembers being happy was in Ohio, with her Mama, Papa, and older sister, Natalia Romanov- who she now knows goes by Natasha Romanoff.
Her and her sister were trafficked into the red room when she was only 6. They were painfully separated that night, and Yelena truly felt what it meant to be heartbroken. Natalia was her everything, until she wasn't.
Natalia got out when Yelena was 10, and she was stupid enough to believe her sister would come back for her. She waited for days. The days turned to weeks, the weeks turned to months, and the months turned to utter disappointment. She knew Natalia wasn't coming back for.
Yelena was left alone.
Young, alone, and blamed for her sisters escape. She was beaten, raped, mentally abused ruthlessly for weeks because of get sister. She thought that if she ever got out, she would never want to see Natalia again.
So then why is it when she got out, all she wanted was her sister? But yet again, Natalia only proved that she didn't want her as her sister. She was just a burden. Or so she thought.
It went from:
"You weren't really my sister"
To:
"Forgive me, little sister. I should of come back for you. It was real to me too"
Yelena found her broken heart throbbing. That's as the first time she had felt a remote part of happiness since Ohio. Then Natalia left again, and Yelena was once again on her own.
Until five months later, when she showed up on the avengers tower doorstep, beaten, bloodied and bruised and no where to call home.
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"Mrs Romanoff, there appears to be an unconscious girl on the door step." F.R.I.D.A.Y. announces.
You frown confusedly, it's only you and Wanda in the compound at the moment since the others are on a mission.
You stand up which makes Wanda shoot up.
"What are you doing?" She asks, her accent thick.
"Going to help whoever it is." You frown but she grabs your wrist.
"Natasha told me she'd kill me if you got hurt whilst she was away!" Wanda panics. "I don't want to die!"
You giggle and roll your eyes. "Come on, red. They're unconscious."
You make your way down to the front door and open it, gasping in shock.
"Yelena!" You exclaim and crouch down next to her, rolling her onto her back. You pat her cheek a few times. "Hey, come on, wake up. Yelena, sweetheart."
A soft groan falls from her mouth. "Y/N?"
"It's me, honey. I've got you." You reassure and turn to Wanda. "We need to get her to Bruce now."
You scoop Yelena into your arms and rush her down to Bruce's lab.
"Bruce, we need your help." You say with wide eyes.
Without asking questions, Bruce has you lay Yelena down before he starts to examine her.
"I need to go call Natasha." You tell Wanda who nods and sends you off.
You pull your phone out and shakily dial Natasha's number.
It rings for a while before she picks up.
"Can't get enough of me, Princess? It's only been an hour since we spoke last."
"Nat..."
"Now isn't the best time, baby, can I call you later?"
"Nat, it's Yelena."
"...what happened?"
"I'm not sure. She just turned up on the door step, unconscious. But she's beaten, badly. Bruce is with her right now, but it looks bad. You need to come back."
"I'm on my way...Baby, stay with her for me? Please?"
"I won't leave her side, Nat. I promise. Hurry back."
The line disconnects and you don't hesitate to rush back to Wanda.
"She's on her way back." You announce.
Wanda nods with a worried look. "Do you think she'll be okay?"
"I have to hope. Nat can't handle another loss, especially her little sister." You whisper.
"I can't believe Natasha has a sister." Wanda frowns.
"Why?"
"She's always been a lone wolf, ya know? I can't picture her with a sister." Wanda shrugs.
"They're not biologically related. They were adopted into the same family when Yelena was 3, it only lasted 3 years before they were both trafficked into the red room. Nat managed to escape when Yelena was 10, but she had no time to save Yelena. It was only a few months ago that they destroyed the red room, they hadn't seen each other in 10 years. Yelena still hasn't fully forgiven her, but it's a work in progress." You explain. "Nat trusts you, that's why I've told you this, but you cannot tell anyone. Neither of them trust easily, but Natasha sees you as family."
"She does?" Wanda asks with teary eyes.
You nod.
"What about Yelena? How does she feel about you?" Wanda asks.
"I helped destroy the thing the ruined her life and I've been there for her ever since, I send her money when she needs it, I check in on her daily to make sure she's eating- she trusts me. But it was hard earned trust and she won't trust anyone but Nat and I for a long, long time." You say.
Wanda doesn't say anything after that, you both just wait in silence, praying for Yelena to be okay.
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Your head shoots up when you hear footsteps rushing towards you. Your wife, her face painted with panic and worry, rushes to her little sisters side.
"How is she?" Natasha asks with wide eyes.
"She's okay, Nat. She had some internal bleeding, but Bruce stopped it. She has a broken arm and a few broken ribs, and a slight concussion but she's going to fine. We're just waiting for her to come out of the anaesthesia." You tell her.
Natasha shakes her head breathlessly. "This so all my fault. I shouldn't of left her again."
"Hey, no. Baby, this is not your fault, ok? You didn't do this to her." You reassure and walk over to her, cupping her cheeks. "You're here now, that's all that matters."
Natasha wraps her arms around your waist and buries her face into the crook of your neck, whimpering slightly.
"It's okay, Natty. She's okay." You coo.
"I shouldn't of left her." She repeats, shaking her head at herself.
"Где я?" A croaked voice makes you and Natasha pull apart. (Where am I)
"ты в башне мстителей, маленький." Natasha replies. (You are in the avengers tower, little one)
"болит." She whimpers in pain. (Hurts)
"I'll get Bruce." You say before leaving.
"What happened?" Natasha asks worriedly.
Still not feeling safe enough to speak in English, Yelena replies: "Агенты гидры нашли меня. пытался взять меня, но я боролся изо всех сил." Natasha's face hardness. (The hydra agents found me. tried to take me but I fought with all my might)
"Why are they after you?" Natasha asks.
"Я величайший ребенок-убийца из всех. я думаю, они хотели проверить мои способности." Yelena shrugs with a teary pout. (I'm the greatest child assassin ever. My guess is they wanted to test my abilities)
A pang of guilt shoots through Natasha's heart and she shakes her head. "I'm sorry."
Yelena clenches her jaw and looks away from Natasha. "не." (Don't)
"Yelena, please, just let me apologise-"
"No, Natalia- you left me behind, ok! You left me in the red room. I was 10- I was 10 and being forced to murder people. I was 8 when I first took a human life. I was 12 when I lost my free will. I was 12 when dreykov took the only thing that made me a child! I was 14 when I was sent on honeypot missions! 14! I was 15 when I tried to take my own life for the first time. And I was 16 when I finally got out, only to find you hadn't even bothered to try and free me. I was 16 when I realised you left me behind to live your life without any remorse. Even after we brought down the red room, and you told me it was real to you too- that I was your little sister- you still proceeded to pretended like I wasn't a part of your life. You never call. You never text. You never visit. I have been on my own since I was 6, but for the last 6 months, I have never felt more alone." Yelena can't control the tears that steam down her cheeks. Tears of anger or sadness, that she couldn't decide. "I've been thrown into the world by my own, no money, no house, no family. I have nothing and you- you have all of this- yet you still couldn't be bothered to fucking call me! The only reason I'm still alive is because your wife looks after me- because I'm a fucking child! I am 16 years old! What makes you think I can look after myself?! Y/N takes time out of her day to text me or call me- she sends me money- she set me up with a small apartment because you just packed up and left again. You left me again, after you promised you would stay. I wouldn't be here right now in this bed, if you had just called me once in a while." Yelena finishes her rant, breathing heavily and holding her side as it aches.
Natasha has tears dripping down her cheeks, only just releasing how broken her sister is- and she hasn't helped her at all.
"I didn't know what you wanted." Natasha admits quietly.
"I wanted my sister!" Yelena sobs. "I wanted her to hold me and promise me that no one would ever hurt me again! I wanted her to give a damn about me! I wanted a fucking reason to live!"
"Yelena-"
"I cry myself to sleep, my hand handcuffed to my bed before that is the only way I know how to sleep. I cry every night because it's the only way I can exhaust myself to to point of passing out- because if I don't pass out, then I get the most horrific night terrors. Over the last 6 months I have put a gun in my mouth 5 times and sobbed whilst thinking of all the reasons not to pull the trigger- do you know why I didn't pull the trigger?" Yelena asks harshly, not caring for the way Natasha gasps in shock at Yelena's confession.
"I-"
"Because I kept thinking you would come and save me, like when we were small. But you never came. 5 times, and not once did you even text. You completely left me behind- and I can't decide what hurts more. When you left me in the red room, or when you lied to my face and left me behind to fend for myself." Yelena spits.
Natasha sobs. "I'm so sorry!"
"You were right about what you said in that shop in Budapest. I'm not your sister. I don't want to be your sister if this is what I get. I would rather put a bullet in my skull." Yelena snarls, somewhat emotionlessly.
Your heart aches as you listen to the conversation from outside the room. Your heart breaks for Yelena and you wish you had done more for her.
"Y/N has done more for me than you, and she doesn't even know me." Yelena shakes her head. "All you've done is bought me pain, Natalia."
"I'm so fucking sorry, little one." Natasha whimpers miserably.
"Get out." Yelena demands coldly.
Natasha tries to reach out for Yelena but the blonde just flinches away. Natasha immediately retracts her hand with wide eyes, hating that Yelena reacts that way to her.
"Get out!"
Natasha shakes as she sobs, promptly leaving the room. The door slams shut behind her and your arms immediately close around her shaking body, hugging her tightly.
"I've got you, baby." You whisper and she sobs into your neck.
"My sister hates me!" She exclaims through her tears.
"She just needs time, Nat, she's been through a hell of a lot." You frown softly, stroking her red locks.
"What have I done?" Your wife whimpers quietly.
You just pull her closer against you.
It's okay though, right? Because being depressed is just a phase.
Explain the last 16 years of Yelena's life as a phase then.
A/N sorry it's been a while, I've been busy with work :)