| 𝙰𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚒 𝙳𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚜𝚘𝚗
For 2 weeks I sat at home. The school called my mother telling her that they mailed my diploma and I wasn't eligible to walk across stage and that fucked me up. Because I did all that work and now I can't even walk across the stage?
I changed my hair up as well. My mom helped with that. Aubree blew me she would still text me from here and there to update me on her and Durk but I couldn't get into it after that crazy ass day.
I felt like I was slowly drifting away from the real me. The quiet Alani not this trill bitch from the west side.
I felt down. Because how Aubree went ahead and lost her virginity with out hesitation. That's what made us both different but I guess it's just me now.
This is the time I needed Daekwon. His funeral was being held today. It was morning. It was raining and just a very chill day. It had been raining since last night.
I took my shower putting on my black dress that fell down to my knees with the necklace he had got me a while back for Valentine's Day.
After I added my accessories and my lashes. I flat ironed my bangs and the rest of my hair.
My mom came in my room and she walked into my bathroom standing in the frame of the door.
"Alani." She said making me turn to her direction.
"yes." I said low. "Are you almost done?" She asked as she looked at my outfit.
"Yea almost, I just have to put on my shoes." I said. After I applied my lipgloss and turned off my flat iron.
"Come here baby." My mom came up to me hugging me she could tell I needed it. I cried a small bit on her.
"This just feels so much like when daddy died." I said. "It does, but just know they both in your heart." She said.
We got out the hug and I nodded and I wiped my face off from crying. She comfort me & then I put on my all black slip on vans with my anklet.
I got my phone off the charger placed it inside my pocket it book and began heading downstairs.
My moms was already in the car so I locked the door behind me and I got in & we drove to Daekwon's funeral.
My stomach started hurting this was the last time I was going to see him. The casket was going to be open. All I could think was why him.
We pulled up seeing people walking in. My mother touched my hand as I stared out the windshield.
"You ready?" She said. I nodded and we began getting out the car. She walked in front of me and I just walked slowly.
She greeted everyone while I stayed out and just did a slight grin at everyone.
I didn't look straight ahead, I just followed my mother as we sat in the 2nd row while the funeral house got filled up.
It was TV's all around the funeral of his baby pictures and him with family. My chest just hurted.
Half of his friends and the school was there even Tracey some how made but he had crutches.
Nobody was going to miss Daekwons funeral because you only get 1.
After while the church house fills up and they shut the doors. His grandma started talking about him how he was such a good boy & then his grandpa said something too.
Tracey got up there and spoke.
"Y'all know me y'all know I was alway with my brother. He taught me how to make money the easy way. He always was there for me at my lowest. Always made me laugh even when he was at his lowest. He was always the bigger person in this shit. Ima rep his name for life." His voice began cracking making him lean down and cry.
"Push threw Tracey." I said.
"It's gon be alright baby." Some old woman said.
He lifted up finishing. "And I just won't you to know ima vist yo grave every chance I get that's on pops life." He said. He then got off limping with his crutches and then he viewed his brothers body one last time and cried on him.
I couldn't see his face in the casket because somebody's head was in the way. But I was glad I couldn't because I wasn't ready.
Many people said there piece on how Daekwon treated them and made them feel.
"Anybody would like to go next?" One of the people at the church said.
I got up walking and then I walked up the 2 steps and stood in front of the whole crowd ready to talk into the microphone.
"You got this." My mother mouthed to me.
"2 days before Daekwon-" one of the doors opened at the funeral home making everybody look.
What walked in was Von, Muwop, Durk, Aubree, and Breezy.
They all walk and sat all the way in the back. Their dirty smell flew in everybody's nose making them began to whisper. The smell of weed and alcohol filled up the funeral making me low key flustered.
"As I was previously saying." I cleared my throat after saying that.
"2 days before Daekwon died I talked to him. He seemed fine he told me that only I could bring a smile onto his face. And only I could make his day better. He was such a sweet individual but if you ever rubbed him the wrong way things would get ugly. He would play all the time would dig into my nose just crazy stuff but I never paid that silly stuff any mind until now. He was caring to my emotions my feelings. Nobody and I mean nobody can change how I feel about Daekwon Elijah Jefferson. If only i could tell him I loved him again & again & again. But now I can't, I'm sorry Tracey y'all both deserved better." I got off from there crying.
It was my time to view his body that was in the front where the stage was. I walked up to it looking down. He looked like he was just sleeping peacefully. His dreads wasn't covering his eyes. He had a retwist which he rarely got and his face was beautiful.
I leaned down on the casket crying hard. I started crying on his stomach. His hand It just was a ice cold feeling I remembered my father hand feeling the same.
I ain't care if people thought I was weird. I kissed him again on his lips gently imagining how it was not to long ago.
I rubbed him one last time then I walked back to the 2nd row where my mother was. Still infuriated with Von and them coming in.
"Anyone one else last time asking?" People looked around watching Aubree get up. I looked at my mom and she gave me a look to. Because I wanna know what she gone say.
"Hey y'all." She smiled.
This won't no kind of laughing matter. Nore was it a smiling scenery.
"Um, Daekwon was real cool he treated me and my bestfriend with kindness. And it is sad to know he took his own life. He was for sure gang nem and we looked forward for him to make it out. Rest easy daedae on foe nem grave I wish it won't like this."
I rolled my eyes mentally cause girl you barely was around him only when we hung out at Traceys friend house.
She looked at the body and kissed his forehead. She looked at me in my eyes as she turned around ready to walk back to her seat. I just mean mugged her and she stale faced me.
The funeral was now over making everybody stand around and head over to their cars because we still had to bury him into the ground.
As we followed behind the car they put the coffin in I scrolled on Instagram.
"We gon miss you Kwon."
They ain't even know that man. Why the fuck is she doing. I huffed hard. Making my mother look over at me.
"You alright?" She asked.
"Yeah Ma I'm fine just can't wait to get this day over with." I said as I looked out the window.
We arrived at the gravesite and they had the casket set up. Everybody got they roses and all of that. And everybody stood around watching.
They said a bible verse and we prayed. They began lowering the casket and then everybody threw they roses in.
I threw my roses in looking down at the 6 feet hole. This is just something that's unbelievable.
They set off these two white doves. Some people had balloons and things they left flow into the sky.
Now it was time to eat.
As I was ready to walk off because now everyone was just talking.
Aubree called my name. "Alani." She said grabbing on to my arm.
I turned around to her direction making us become face to face.
"Wassup?" I said.
"My brother wanna holla at you right quick before y'all go." She said.
"What he want?" She said ready to walk me over there.
"Gurl just go see." She said.
"Aight mane it bet not be no bullshit." I walked off from her and I was going into all they direction.
I walked up to him and everybody that was around him walked away making it just be me and him.
"Wassup?" I said to him.
"Why yeen been answerin yo phone?" He said.
"I ain't been wanting to talk to nobody." I said folding my arms.
He nods clenching his jaw. "Ha you kno I ain't been tryna check up on you & shit." He said.
"Because I just didn't Von what you want?" I said trying make him get to the point.
"I'm sayin doe you lookin good all typa shit, i miss you." He licked his lips touching on his chin looking into my eyes.
He knew what made me weak for him.
I rolled my eyes. "You just sayin nat cause you ain't got nobody to lay wit at night be fr." I said.
"Fuck I gotta lie fo?" He said.
"Because you've a liar." I said.
He smacked his lip. He walked up closer toward me. Making me look up at him.
"Im lost wit out chu. What Durk do don't excite me. Hearin you say allat shit bout that nigga almost made me ain even gon get into dat. Just kno I want you talkin bout me like dat. I can be the path way to yo happiness to. All you gotta do is let me."
He grabbed onto my hand making me just be silent.
"please?" he said kissing my hand and looking into my eyes.
I yanked my hand away.
"I'll think about it."
his face started getting red and he started mugging me hard.
He folded his fist up and started breathing hard.
Aubree came back. "Oh shit get back Alani." She told me.
I just stared at him because what was he going to do?
We were far from the crowd I didn't listen to Aubree making Von grab onto my dress then slamming me onto the car.
"Von! Von! Stop! That's ALANI! STOP!" Aubree said.
I was frightened this was another side of him that I have never seen.
"Please don't hurt me." I closed my eyes tightly.
I could feel him breathing hard on my neck. Was he angry that I said I'll think about it.
"You lucky yo people's hea cus on tt grave I woulda beat yo ass."
"Why you so aggressive about the shit I do, I'm not even pressure foreal." I said as he still had me pushed up against the car.
"Cus I fuckin like yo goofy ass, you can't tell?"
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𝚃𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜 ?
~
𝚅𝚘𝚝𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝟷𝟶.