Over the next few weeks life at Grimmauld Place should've calmed down, but it didn't. With the terrifying four running amuck, Sirius acting like an overgrown child and Loki joining in on the action things could only get worse.
"Will you stop that?" Regulus demanded in annoyance, spitting out the crazy amount of pie filling that managed to land on his head followed by confetti ten seconds later. Sirius took one look at his brother and burst out laughing.
"It's not funny." Regulus said getting really ticked off.
"Oh, but it is. Have you seen yourself dear brother? You kind of remind me of the time James and I pranked ol' snivellus." Sirius chuckled.
"That is nothing to be proud of. Snape had pie filling coming out of his ears for weeks."
"But he finally took a long needed shower and got rid of that greasy look for a while. So, we kind of did him a favor." Sirius pointed out.
"You can't go turning everyone into a human sundae."
"But that's what makes it fun."
Regulus let out a groan.
"Why do I feel like I'm running a daycare?" He muttered as he headed upstairs to take a much needed shower only to be blasted by a slime cannon.
"LUCAS ARIAS BLACK, JAMES LEO BLACK!" He yelled, wiping the slime out of his eyes.
"Whoops, Sorry Mr. B, we thought you were your brother." Jackson said, trying to apologize.
"MIECZYSLAW JACKSON NOTT." Regulus screamed causing Jackson to cringe.
"Bless you." Sirius said from the bottom of the stairs. Jackson buried his face in his hands.
"Coleslaw? What did dad say?" Lucas inquired.
"Really Mr. B, you had to use my full name." Jackson said, mortified.
"That's your full name?" James said.
"Yes unfortunately. Thank Merlin my parents gave me another name."
"What type of name is coleslaw?" James asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Trust me It's a lot worse than that. My parents named me after my grandfather and the only other person I know with that dreaded name is my poor one year old cousin out in California. God, what was my uncle Noah thinking?" Jackson rambled.
"That coleslaw is an amazing name." Lucas said cheekily.
"Coleslaw? Really? I much rather Bambi." Jackson argued.
"Too late." James smirked.
"Yo, Harry. Jackson's new name is coleslaw." Lucas hollered.
"Wait, Harry's here." Sirius said, turning around.
"Don't listen to them." Jackson yelled from the top of the stairs.
"Do I even want to know?" Harry asked, raising an eyebrow.
"No!" Jackson said quickly.
"Why is Harry even here?" Someone asked.
"Because Weasley Wizard Wheezes opens today." Harry replied.
"What's that?" Tyrone questioned.
"Fred and George's new store." Sirius replied.
"Nope! Bad idea! We can not introduce them to the Weasley twins. Abort mission!" Regulus frantically waved his hands.
"You go take your shower, brother." Sirius said. Regulus walked away grumbling.
Diagon Alley
"Why is everything so dark?" Dudley inquiried looking around.
"Seemed like they all went on holiday." Sirius noted earning a snort from his son.
"Sure, everyone goes on vacation right before the school year. Makes a lot of sense, dad." Peter said sarcastically.
"What are you getting at, Peter?" Sirius inquiried.
"I'm sure they're enjoying their stay at hotel de la death eaters also known as Malfoy manor." Peter replied.
"Boys, shut up. This place is amazing." Jackson gushed in awe as they entered the store.
"Step up, step up. We've got fainting fancies, nosebleed nougats and just in time for school." The Weasley twins chorused.
"Get back here you two and don't touch that." Regulus ordered chasing after Jackson and Tyrone. Sirius chuckled and shook his head.
"Ooo, what does this do?" He asked aloud.
"Stop touching things, dad." Peter said, slapping Sirius' hand away.
"How do you expect me to buy anything if I can't even touch them?" Sirius whined. Peter rolled his eyes.
"Just try not to hurt yourself, dad." He called over his shoulder making his way over to Harry and Ron by the love potions' display.
"Hello gentlemen." Two identical voices from behind them said. The trio turned to see Fred and George standing there.
"You know they really do work." Fred stated.
"But you better not be using this on Ginny." George said, turning to Harry.
"Otherwise there would be serious consequences." Fred said sternly.
"Come on boys, leave him alone." Peter said. The Weasley twins turned to their next victim.
"I bet our dear little brother doesn't even need help in the department of love."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Ron demanded.
"Are you not currently dating Lavender Brown?" Fred inquiried innocently. Ron glared at them.
"That's none of your business." He scoffed storming off. Less than a minute later he was back.
"How much?" Ron questioned.
"Five galleons." The ginger twins echoed.
"How much for me?"
"Five galleons." The twins repeated.
"I'm your brother."
"Ten galleons." The twins quipped.
Ron gave them a look in disgust and turned to leave.
"Would it kill you to be nice?" Peter asked the twins.
"Yes." Fred and George parroted.
"You two are unbelievable." Peter muttered as they walked out of the store.
Crash!
"What the bloody hell was that?" Ron asked. Less than a second later Harry's Head appeared out of nowhere causing Jackson to shriek.
"What the hell man?" Jackson demanded.
"I was following Nott. I think he's working for you know who." Harry said in a harsh whisper.
"But I've been standing here the entire time." Jackson protested.
"Not you, your cousin."
"Oh, that idiot. Wait, are we talking to Harry's ghost because all I see is a floating head. It's like the headless horseman, but in reverse. Where's the body? Where's the horse? Is Harry the horseless head man? James,Lucas, did you have anything to do with it?" Jackson rambled.
"No!" The Black twins said firmly being honest for the first time in their lives.
"Harry, stop scaring the kid." Peter said.
"How am I scaring him?" Harry inquiried.
"Oh, I'm sure it's totally normal to see a floating head." Peter said his voice laced with sarcasm. Harry looked down and saw he was still wearing his invisibility cloak.
"Sorry." He said, slightly embarrassed, slipping off the cloak.
"You have an invisibility cloak." Tyrone said.
"Uh, yeah."
"Awesome." Tyrone whispered.
"Can we get back to what I was talking about?" Harry asked.
"What were we talking about?" Ron inquiried.
"My deranged cousin." Jackson said in disgust.
"He's far from deranged, Coleslaw. More like a prejudiced entitled brat." Lucas piped up.
"That's not my name." Jackson said annoyed.
"Anyways, I think Theo's up to something." Harry stated.
"Here we go again." Peter sighed.
"What?"
"You're being paranoid again, Harry."
"I am not." Harry shot back.
"How is this any different than second year?" Peter inquiried.
"What happened in second year?" Lucas asked curiously.
"He thought Draco was the heir of Slytherin so he, Hermione and Ron used poly juice potion and snuck into the Slytherin common room." Peter replied.
"Potter did what!?!" Draco said surprised.
"Can you not interrupt me?" Harry asked, getting really ticked off.
September 1, 1996
"Good morning Grimmauld Place, it's a hot, muggy day outside and-"
"Jackson, shut up." Dudley grumbled pulling his pillow over his head.
"Good morning to you too, Mr. Killjoy." Jackson said dryly.
"It's bloody six AM." Dudley growled.
"Language." Steve called from the other room. Dudley let out a groan and tried to go back to sleep.
"Hog, hog, Hoggy, Hogwarts-"
"You're singing it wrong." Draco said.
"Who cares."
"Jackson, shut the bloody hell up."
"Language."
"We get it Steve."
To say anyone was going to go back to sleep that morning was too good to be true. By the time everyone got downstairs they either looked disheveled or were falling asleep at the table.
By ten forty five they were all at Kings cross station.
"We're going to be late." Regulus said.
"The train doesn't leave for another fifteen minutes, dad." Lucas reminded him.
As the terrifying four looked for an empty compartment they ran into Theo.
"Well, well, well the blood traitor has finally arrived." Theo sneered.
"Really? Where?" Lucas asked, looking around.
"Of course my disgraced cousin would team up with a mudblood and blood traitors." The moment those words left Theo's mouth he was met with a fist in the face.
"Ouch, no one told me that punching someone in the face would hurt me." Jackson said, shaking out his hand.
"Of course you'd resort to muggle violence." Theo said, holding his now bleeding nose.
"Here, I'm sure this would make it feel better." Tyrone said handing Theo a candy only to cause Theo's nosebleed to get worse.
"I can't believe I'm related to that idiot." Jackson said disgustedly.
"Do we really have to cross the river with the first years?" Tyrone complained when they got to Hogwarts.
"It's a lake you idiot." Malia said, pulling up beside them.
"Why hello Malia." Jackson said.
"Shut up, Nott." Malia growled.
The sorting hat barely touched Malia's head when it called out:
"Gryffindor."
"I guess we're all a disgrace to the Black family name." Malia said to Lucas when she sat down next to him. A few minutes later Jackson and Tyrone joined them.
"Why am I always cursed to get all the troubled ones?" McGonagall muttered, taking a seat at the head table.
As Dumbledore got up to speak no one had any idea what was in store for them that year.
I'm back! Sorry it took so long, I've been really busy lately. I don't know what my updating schedule is going to be so, I can't make any promises when I'm going to post the next chapter, Sorry.
It was very hard for me to make Theo an entitled prejudice brat when he's literally the good guy in one of my other stories.
Poor McGonagall, she had the marauders, Weasley twins, Peter and now most of the terrifying four.
I hope you enjoyed!
-Rita