Parking his car to the side, Sarim pushed his coat on his arm. His eyes were focused on the entrance of the public park. He entered and his eyes ran over the track and the benches on the other end. His search ended and a smile appeared on his lips.
He almost jogged towards the bench some feet away and sat down silently.
Elaf knew the moment he had walked through the gate and even though she was far from calm, it still put a balm on her anxiousness.
He was now sitting right beside her and after waiting for a while, he held her hand in his and looked on encouragingly.
Elaf tried to smile but it fell flat. This was a huge step. She had taken the plunge and just dove in without thinking much. It could go both ways.
"I'm scared."
She whispered. Sarim nodded understandingly. It was justified. She was switching her career line at this point in her life and just today she had submitted her resignation.
"You have every right to be."
"What if all this is a big mistake?"
Sarim narrowed his eyes.
"It has you and theater as a reason. It can never be a mistake."
She smiled lightly, a strained line on her anxious face but for now it was enough. At least she was trying and not running away.
Sarim had understood this long back that the past six years hadn't been kind to Elaf. She had lost her faith in her own abilities and now when she was getting back there, it wasn't going to be a quick journey. It was a long process and at times slow and other times fast. But the bottom line was, she was moving further. It was more than enough. It was what she deserved.
"I'm taking a risk. "
"You've always been a risk taker."
Elaf knew she was. But she didn't know if she had in her to be that anymore. Guess she had to try and figure it out.
"You think this will turn out fine?"
"Oh, I think this is going to be glorious. Just watch."
The worry lines were diminishing from her face. The hand in his clasped his fingers without even her looking. Sarim saw it though. And it filled him with so much warmth.
"I don't want to be ungrateful but is it okay to say that I'm not going to miss this desk job?"
Sarim laughed at her half tired, half relieved expressions and shook his head.
"But what I'm actually going to miss is, calling you boss."
Sarim grimaced.
"I was never technically your boss."
"Ah, Sarim, you and your technicalities."
She was looking right at him with a smile. Her hand was in his and their fingers were intertwined. He reciprocated with a smile of his own.
And in that moment, among all the clutter and the chaos that was around, they were pretty fine, the calm surrounding them was serene.
They were them.
For the better.
_____
The art council theater academy where she was selected as a new addition to the team, was very different from the theater work she had known so far.
For the starters, here no one was a novice as she had in her dramatics club back in university. Some of them were proper theater students and were here to hone their skills.
She had no professional education about theatrics, just her passion to drive her further. That made her stagger a bit in the beginning, the sheer magnitude of where she had landed herself but Elaf had always been steadfast. So what if she didn't have the professional schooling about the subject, she knew almost as much as her team members, not in literal terms but in practical expertise.
Her first action was enrolling herself into the course to work on her deficiency, all the while she was working on her already polished skills some more.
Deepak as he referred to himself just like that, Deepak, or Deepak Bhai, was the head mentor of the team she was selected into. His looks would give anyone a false idea that he was easygoing and didn't care much for the decorum but that was far from the truth.
He was a strict teacher. Elaf understood that early on because on her first day he had shown his applause for her change of script during her audition but had also made it clear that this was the only time he was letting her get away with it. Any changes in script from here on and she would consult it with the whole team and see what their opinion about it was.
The team, as Elaf figured out and learned, was the most important unit of the academy. She was used to having her way back when she was the star of Professor Kaleem's club, given the fact that she was the best among them all but things were changed here. Everyone was good at what they did and Elaf, after initial shock and a bit of disappointment, accepted this and even proceeded to learn from her teammates. She liked this change of the playing field and her role, it gave her room to improve when not everything was on her shoulders.
She didn't have any plays so far. One was coming in a month's time and Elaf was prepping for it. It was her first here and she wouldn't ever let it go haywire.
As far her family and friends were concerned, they were as supporting as ever. Safwa was the most excited when she came to know about her decision. The rest were also happy for her. But that was her usual. What made the most difference was the presence of her parents in every step she was taking. It left her in tears at times, when Daud would ask her details about the academy with interest or Yusra would offer to prepare her costume for the play coming up.
This was her dream she never knew she had woven there in the most secured recess of her mind and heart. But now that she had it, she often didn't know how to process it all. Her normal response was going speechless or her eyes tearing up but lately she had started smiling more about every new development.
And it wasn't long when she would be back to her old self where she'd embrace every praise with a raised collar and a laugh, knowing she deserved it but still humble about it.
Slow but meaningful steps.
_____
Zonish pushed her glasses up her nose and helplessly looked at the fabric strewn across her. Myriad of shades, some of which she couldn't even distinguish, different types of clothing that ranged from overly stone work to modest embroidery.
Wedding shopping was e x h a u s t i n g.
Yeah, that exhausting.
When she had told Hesham about a simple wedding with no fuss, she had no idea that the fashionista childhood best friend of her to be husband was going to bring even this simple arrangement into utter chaos.
That evening of the infamous yes from Zonish, both the families gathered in Alvi house and finalized everything. From the date of Nikkah to the arrangements. It was a cakewalk seeing the scale was not grand, just like Zonish wanted.
She was pretty satisfied with how things were moving, till they started with the shopping for the D day and Zonish was sure she was going to get bald before that day.
Safwa was a menace when she was out there looking for clothes. She had a very refined taste but she also was very picky. The arrangement was, in her opinion, at a very short notice since no designer would be able to get their dresses ready, so she had taken them all to the outlet she frequented often whenever she needed something ethnic. She argued that since Zonish wanted a simple dress, that could be arranged here along with everything else. They all agreed with her. She knew better than them anyway and Zonish wasn't going to lie. She actually liked what she had seen so far but nothing was clicking as the ultimate choice. Maybe she had underestimated the whole ordeal or seeing Safwa her dormant fashion sense had also come in full swing.
"I'm so freaking tired, Safwa. Your enthusiasm is nauseating to be honest."
Elaf Muttered not even caring for Safwa's scowl she sent her way. Irma just shook her head while looking around. She was the most calm person in this whole fiasco, Zonish could give her that. Must be used to Safwa's ways.
"Wedding shopping is always exhausting. Not my fault, it's not for yours."
Elaf shrugged her shoulders.
"Mine will be simpler than this and mind you, I will keep you away from deciding the dresses for my and your own well being."
Safwa snorted, rummaging through another shelf.
"I'm your bridesmaid. Good luck with that."
Elaf saw Zonish's weary form and gave her an apologetic look. Zonish didn't mind it though. Safwa's concern was justified. No matter how simple, a nice looking wedding dress never hurt anyone.
"Irma, are you done with Zimal's shopping?"
Elaf inquired, Zimal was sitting on the waiting couch watching cartoons on the tab. Irma nodded.
"I did that the first thing after getting here. The secret behind why she's so calm."
Elaf had come here with Safwa so had no idea how much shopping was done before that. She herself was done with hers. She was a simple woman. She also was a bad best friend because she hadn't shown Safwa her dress yet lest she should start finding faults in it and Elaf had to return it.
She wasn't going to give Safwa so much power.
"What about this?"
Zonish, who was silent for the past few minutes, called out to them and pointed towards a dress.
It was simple but elegant in a way that would suit Zonish's vibe so well. The color was mild, not too into the face and too dull. The stone work and intricate embroidery was giving it a decent yet stand out look.
"Go for it!"
Safwa exclaimed and Zonish, taking a sigh, almost sprinted towards the changing room.
When she came out, the girls were more than happy with the outcome. Not bad, Zonish. Her choice had resonated with the whole simple yet elegant wedding and this dress spoke to it well.
"You'll make such a beautiful bride."
Irma said and they were both amused and surprised to see Zonish looking anywhere but them with a small smile on her face.
Well, there was that.
Sarim folded his arms on his chest and leaned into the wall. He huffed seeing how Hesham was contemplating suits and kurtas.
Contemplating. Yeah.
"Who can say that this guy never gave two shits and just grabbed anything whenever we were out."
Izaan turned to him.
"Do you realize that it was mainly the food you're talking about?"
Sarim shrugged.
"The point stays."
They were here obviously for Hesham's groom essentials.
The clown was actually getting married.
It was old news now but Sarim and Izaan often laughed at how it was Hesham among their trio who was getting settled down first. For some reason they always thought it would be either of them but never Hesham. They were in for an amusing acceptance.
The preparations started almost immediately. Even by the standard of a simple wedding, things were still pretty hectic but they were enjoying every bit of it. It was surreal. One of them was going further with his life, taking a huge step. It was a new phase.
Sarim had come here with Irma and Zimal. They were with Safwa, Zonish and Elaf to finalize Zonish's shopping. They had no idea how it was going but Sarim was sure it wouldn't be going better than theirs. Safwa was in charge of the bridal attire. That was self explanatory.
Not that her best friend was any better. Sarim looked upwards and marched towards where Hesham was sitting, weighing his options. Sarim picked up the suit he had seen Hesham eyeing the first thing they came inside the store and handed it to the sale's person.
"I was still choosing!"
Hesham said looking offended.
"You were going to choose that anyway. Stop being difficult."
"But this is how wedding shopping is supposed to be!"
Sarim raised an eyebrow.
"You want a challenge? Should I call Safwa?"
Hesham's expressions were horrified.
"Don't call Safi. Never call Safi. We don't need Safi."
"Exactly."
Sarim matched Hesham's expressions while Izaan wore a proud and somewhat endearing smile. He pushed them away and stood in front of the salesperson who was looking on confusedly.
"Pack this please."
He said softly, earning a nod from the guy who immediately got back to work. Izaan turned towards his two best friends.
"Abay Saalo'n! At least some time try to behave!"
"His best man card is revoked."
Hesham announced. Sarim didn't care. They were done here and that was what he was more relieved about.
"Are you guys done?"
Zimal asked once she saw her mother and Khalas finally getting their packages. Irma nodded and the way Zimal heaved a sigh made them all laugh. She had just watched cartoons all this while but seemed like that alone had exhausted the kid.
"This means we are going to see Hesham Mamu as a broom soon right?"
"Zimi! It's groom!"
Irma corrected desperately when Zonish gestured her to stop.
"That actually fits. Don't correct her."
Zimal high fived her and got one in return.
The guys found them on the ground floor.
"Glad to see you guys survived."
Sarim commented earning a jab on his side from Safwa.
"Not my fault I want these two to look nice and proper. At least appreciate the care."
She pointed towards Hesham and Zonish, both of whom didn't say anything. They were too busy playing hide and seek with their eyes.
Sarim looked behind Safwa.
"Where's Elaf and Zimal?"
"At the food court."
The mirth in her voice made Sarim curious and before they could say anything he had rounded in the direction of the food court.
He almost laughed, spotting them on a table, each having burgers and fries as if they were famished and it was no lie, another common thing between them, both were never patient when they were hungry.
"Sharing is nice."
He took the seat next to Zimal and Elaf raised an eyebrow.
"Sorry we are too busy getting our calories back."
Elaf gave him a sweet smile but Zimal couldn't ignore her Mamu after all. She raised a fry to his mouth.
He was soon busily listening to both Elaf and Zimal's tales of their shopping chronicles. He vaguely registered a bunch of girls passing by and he could swear he heard a few comments about a beautiful family.
His smile only grew.
"You're seriously considering this?"
Safwa looked very disappointed with what Zonish was saying. Taking the same vehicle back she came in instead of choosing to go with her husband to be.
"I came with you and Elaf anyway, Safwa. So what's the fuss."
"The disrespect to all the romantics out there."
Safwa muttered and gestured towards Hesham. He left his place which was the hoot of his car and came to them.
"What?"
Safwa pointed between the two of them and left for her own vehicle.
"I think my kid will be back with her Mamu and almost Mami so I should head home alone."
Irma got inside her car and in a few seconds she was out of the parking lot. Safwa looked on with interest as Hesham and Zonish also got inside his vehicle. She grinned in Hesham's way who narrowed his eyes at her playfully when she saw Izaan standing there watching the whole exchange.
Safwa's easy going smile changed into a forlorn expression.
And Izaan felt it. He had just taken a step towards her when she started her car and was out of there. Zooming away. Away from Izaan.
____
The clutter on the makeup station, everyone moving around, shouts for costumes and fittings, someone having a last look at the script.
It was basically a very known chaos backstage Elaf knew by heart.
It was her first play after joining the academy and she would be lying if she said she wasn't nervous.
She was so close to just bolting.
This is about something that was once your thing. Almost akin to opening a door and getting inside. No fuss. No second thoughts and definitely no worries.
Almost like a homecoming.
But when you've spent years apart from your home as well, you can't get it right immediately. When you are standing in front of the door, you get lost in the patterns you never noticed before, you forget which way the lock would turn and yeah, you definitely can't tell if you have to push or pull.
Same uncertainty surrounded Elaf right then. She was fully dressed, her makeup according to her role all done and checked and the script was lying on the table because she was done cramming it.
It wasn't the main role. But she had given it her all. Even Deepak Bhai was satisfied with her work.
Still Elaf was nervous.
So damn nervous.
This wasn't good. She couldn't have cold feet. Given she had spent a huge chunk apart from the stage but she could do this. She did well in the audition anyway, the reason why she was even here.
But the audition didn't have so many people.
She had come here after giving up everything she'd worked hard on for the past six years.
What would she do if she didn't make it?
If her performance fell flat?
She got up anxiously from the chair and started pacing the back side of the room. The hustle around her wasn't making much sense, she was immune to it for the most part.
Any familiar face would do just fine right now.
Anything to anchor her.
And it seemed like every time he heard her silent plea.
Warm hands snaked around her waist and turned her toward him.
"You are so nervous it's coming off you in waves."
Elaf tried smiling at him, a nervous curl of her lip but it came out more like a grimace.
"Sarim!"
She whispered. His hands were still right there and he was looking down at her with concern.
"You'll do okay right there. Have some faith."
Elaf had that. She was just dreading taking the first dive into the comfort of the sea that was theater for her.
"I will but what if it's not enough?"
"It's you performing. It's always going to be enough."
Sarim would never say this to her because he knew she was slowly getting there but the way she had lost her very spirit in the process of making others happy was forever going to be something he would be angry and hurt about.
She was having second thoughts before going there on the stage.
But he knew the fear was just till the curtain was down. He had seen that happening in the audition as well. She was all clammy and pale but the moment she was in her element, she was the boss.
Now as well the same would happen. In fact, if it kept on working this way, she might get back her lost optimism soon too. He hoped she would.
"Just so you know, apart from the four of us, your parents also made it. "
Her expressions softened immediately.
"They came?"
Sarim nodded.
They had mentioned in passing that they would be here but Elaf never thought they'd actually be.
"It's going to be the first time they will see you on stage."
An unknown dream. Came true. Became a reality.
"So, not for us or me, for them, shed this pessimistic approach in this room and go out there as the same Elaf which was there before every play of IST's dramatics club."
She chuckled. Those memories were hazy but they were precious. She could do this. She had it in her. That Elaf was still very much there inside her.
Determination shone through her every feature.
Before she could say anything to tell him that she was ready, the play director announced that they should start lining up.
Elaf gave him a smile which spoke of what she wanted to tell him more than words could ever.
But Sarim pointed in the direction of the stage and Elaf turned around.
Sarim watched her retreating back but the easy smile on his face slowly diminished into confusion and then concealed rage.
Elaf was standing at the far end of the line, where the audience couldn't see her but she could very well see them and she saw, her parents, their faces and then her friends, their smiles.
Sarim.
First row, third seat.
She chuckled at his predictability and suddenly the same Elaf he was trying to summon as a lost spirit was back.
This was it.
______
Elaf rested her head against the car window looking at the drizzling. The winter rain was light. Nothing torrential about it this city wasn't going to withstand. The breeze and the damp roads, she wanted to capture everything in her eyes as pictures.
But maybe above all, it was the happiness inside her which was making everything beautiful around her.
The play was a success, something Elaf was again getting used to. But more than that, her performance was praised and lauded as the highlight of the play.
She was ecstatic with the reviews and more than that with the way her parents were so content and proud. They had gotten the first glimpse into her life as a theater artist and she was beyond relieved to know that they approved it, even accepted and cherished it with open arms.
Everything was so smooth. She had gotten a good reputation in the academy but something was bugging her.
Elaf left the window and sat straight into her seat.
Sarim.
He was uncharacteristically quiet these past days and Elaf knew it was something related to her.
She wanted to talk because they had stopped being elusive about how the other was feeling.
He was the one who told her that he wanted to take her back to his place and she agreed wholeheartedly because where else would they be able to talk uninterrupted.
Elaf got out of the car in front of the house that had become her idea of safe haven. Sarim opened the door. The same bland yet welcoming interior was around them. Sarim walked further into the house and Elaf followed him. He stopped close to the backyard garden to where sliding doors were leading.
The view was magnificent. The tinted glass was covered with water droplets. The damn grass outside could be seen through it, although the image was hazy in its contours but the blurry outlines were more than beautiful in their own way.
Elaf stood next to him silently. She wanted him to tell her himself what this was about but she was getting tired of waiting.
"What is it with you?"
"How did you get it!"
Two very different questions, in different intensities and with different context.
Elaf looked on confusedly.
"Hun?"
"The mark on your nape. You didn't have it before and I know that because you had short hair which was always tied high. So, for a fact it's new. How did you get it?"
Elaf was expecting anything but this.
This.
But there was no point in beating about the bush or hiding it.
"Ruman."
Sarim's jaw clenched.
"What did he do?"
Elaf sighed.
"Rammed me into the shelf on the wall with an impact that I bled and it left a mark."
She felt the ghost impact of the sting.
"I threw the ring at his face right after that, you know."
Sarim looked away from her. He was trying to control his frustration but couldn't quite do so.
"It wasn't enough. That fucker needed a face fixing."
Elaf chuckled lightly but Sarim wasn't jesting.
"You shouldn't have cut us out like that."
Elaf closed her eyes. This was the very reason she hadn't disclosed many details about the last days at Durrani House.
"We had a right to know."
"You're Probably right but.."
"Probably? I'm fucking right, Elaf. We should've helped you. I should've looked for you."
"This isn't taking us anywhere. The past is in the past, Sarim."
"I don't even know what else you went through. If they came to physical torture it means they did mental damage as well. That was a literal hell!"
"It was just a one time thing. I'm not justifying the scum but please believe me that he did no harm other than this scar."
Sarim sized her up.
"Are you sure about that?"
He was referring to the way she was way out of herself when he had first found her at the office. Elaf huffed.
"Can we not do this right now?"
"Why? I have every right to be angry at myself that I didn't try to look for you and I also have the right to be angry at you because you didn't want to be found. You were enduring hell in that house, Elaf. And whatever you went through after that wasn't roses and rainbows as well."
"So what do you wanted me to do? Call Safwa? Call Hesham, Izaan?"
"Call me for heaven's sake!"
Elaf took a step back.
"No, I couldn't call you."
He was hurt. It was written on his face.
"Why not me?"
"No. Not you."
"That's exactly why I'm asking why the hell not me?"
"Sarim! You were there in a new country! Building a career! Making do with what meager amount of resources you had. I couldn't for the life of me burden you with my problems! You didn't deserve this!"
He was angry now. Hurt and angry.
"Well your idea of self sacrifice was pathetic because even before going there I was ready to take you along with me no matter the hassle."
Elaf's eyes widened. She was silent for a while and Sarim moved to the far corner of the room just to ensure some distance between them.
Ha. As if.
She reached his side and made him look at her.
"Why?"
"What why?"
"Why would you want to take me along?"
"Because I had a pile of bucks waiting there for me?"
Elaf was annoyed too now.
"Stop with the sarcasm! I know you have a pile of that in you. Answer my question!"
He sighed tiredly.
"Elaf, why do you think I'd do that?"
He looked right in her eyes.
"Because I love you. I loved you then and I love you now. The same old. Never changed and never would."
Elaf's hold on his arm slacked. She looked down in disbelief and then at him.
Sarim was chewing his lip as if trying his best not to say anything more.
And then he almost got a whiplash because Elaf chuckled.
And then she laughed.
Teary laugh.
But not an ounce of hurt or irony was there. It was pure exhilaration. Euphoria.
"Look at me."
She cupped his face and he resisted. He didn't want her to see how vulnerable he was feeling right now.
"Oh, come on! Look at me."
And he did. He finally looked into those bright eyes.
"Do you know what I did right after I broke things off with Ruman."
"I don't wanna know."
He replied grumpily. Elaf laughed again.
"You ass! Just hear me out."
Would she ever know that if it was on him, he'd be hearing from her all his life.
"I talked to my Baba. After that whole fiasco."
Elaf tried controlling her expressions which were crumbling.
"I wanted him to know what I had lost in the process of becoming the best daughter for him."
She was now looking right in his eyes and he was gazing into hers.
"I told him about a guy. A guy I wouldn't be able to forget all my life. He was amazing in whatever he did but more than that, he was amazing for me. He was always pushing me in the right way. With encouraging words and sometimes heated arguments. He questioned what I had always believed and then made me think of the answers."
She came a bit closer and Sarim immediately held her from her waist.
"He was there at every play and he was there for me whenever I needed him. I told him that guy would do anything for me if I asked him to. He could."
Their noses were just an inch apart, just one move from either of them and the embrace would become intimate, more than it was now.
"And I told him, I was in love with that guy. I left him, I left whatever we could've just because I wanted his daughter, the one he was proud of. But in doing so, I had lost everything because I lost him. I lost Sarim."
And then the same space between them vanished. He had pulled her closer from her waist so that his face was now pressed to the side of her face while her arms were around his neck.
"Plot twist: You never lost him."
Elaf flinched the way his voice tickled her skin.
"Don't try to be the boss here. I know I'm never going to lose him."
"Damn straight."
And then Elaf just molded into him because his lips had just marked a place on the side of her face.
The first contact of love.
The imprint of the same love was long inscribed on their souls.
"Six long years, hun? Damn, we are fools."
Elaf chuckled. Another unknown dream. Now a reality.
"Fools in love."
"Yeah, fools in love."
Elaf glanced outside. The drizzling had stopped. The warm rays of the sun were colliding with the glass door.
Everything was so bright.
It was a sign.
_____
Baig House hadn't seen this kind of vibrancy in years. The Nikkah ceremony was an intimate event and only family and friends were invited. But that didn't mean the aesthetic was ignored. Safwa had herself hired the best event planner she knew and the effort showed.
The main sitting arrangement was set in the lounge and it was right now filled with the guests and family. The particular fragrance of flower decoration and bright lights, Hesham and Zonish sat on the central seat surrounded by their people.
They had just had their Nikkah done.
A small Mayun ceremony was scheduled tomorrow at Alvi house. If it was left on Zonish, she would never allow it but Hejab was the one in charge of it so she had no say.
Contrary to his nature, Hesham was sitting with just a smile on his face. He had no comical comebacks on his sleeve. He was refraining because of the occasion or the person sitting to his side, no one could say with conviction.
The elders were busy conversing amongst themselves. Bisma and Atif were the best hosts to Tabrez and Saima. Hijab had found her place with Safwa, Irma and Elaf. She was busy with them. Sarim and Izaan were seated near the central seat and every once in a while Hesham would look at them and they'd just look away stifling their chuckles.
But among this whole jubilance, Hesham had another thing on mind as well.
Zonish was brooding.
He had dealt with this mood of hers so many times now that he didn't need her voicing it out to tell him.
So, now being a good crime partner and a newly found husband, he had to know what was the case here.
He got his chance when he felt the attention was away from them.
"Is this your way of showing shyness as a bride or are you actually mad?"
Zonish just ignored him altogether.
The latter.
Hesham couldn't even laugh. Trying to know what was wrong with his 30 minutes old wife right in their Nikkah ceremony. Just Hesham's luck.
"Zoni..."
Just an eye roll.
Hesham was exasperated now.
"You're showing me an attitude today? TODAY?"
"You called me a pest that day so it is justified."
That was so many days ago. Hesham Baig welcome to husbandhood.
"I thought we were over that. Unbelievable!"
Zonish sent her deadliest glare his way. Hesham was weighing his options. Should he glare back? Or should he apologize? Damn he could smell the food. Could he do after?
"You guys aren't arguing right now are you?"
Elaf asked, coming close to them. Both Hesham and Zonish straightened in their seats.
A very happy Nikkah to them.
_____
Back in time, whenever the topic of their weddings would come up, Izaan knew he would be the happiest.
But right now when the talks of childhood were actually a reality, he realized that he wasn't quite it.
He was happy for Hesham, there were no two ways about it. But there was so much else which was clouding the happy bubble around him.
Kumail was sick. The tumor was identified. It was right now benign in nature but owing to its location it had to be removed before it transformed into something more lethal and the surgery wasn't going to be an easy one.
He was there with him at every step but Kumail had Roshna and it was pretty evident that he had her so he didn't need anyone else.
Love and companionship.
His eyes darted across the room.
The smiling face of Safwa as she talked with Hejab was right in his focus.
She was ethereal. The beacon of everything bright in his life.
But was she even there anymore?
He wasn't sure anymore.
The past few days and the way he had seen Roshna and Kumail making their way through these unfortunate circumstances, it had told Izaan so much about how he had treated his and Safwa's relationship back then.
They weren't toxic for each other. Far from it. But when he came face to face with his own insecurities, he hadn't thought of anything else. Not even the great love he and Safwa shared. The love which was still breathing steadily between them. He had his own shortcoming on his mind, he never thought that Safwa didn't think much of anything else than him as the person he was.
He hadn't given her a choice. So, what were the odds that them getting back together was actually a good idea specially when Safwa was clearly avoiding him?
There was so much he had to work on himself and so much they had to work on together on their relationship but where to even start? He didn't know. And how to approach her? He wouldn't know because she was avoiding him.
She was saving her heart from him because he did break it once.
The realization was painful but it was the reality.
He looked around just to distract himself. It was way after dinner and somehow people still had things to talk about. He wasn't among those people though. So here he was, standing to the side, leaning against the pillar when he felt someone standing close to him.
"Already tired, Surgeon? And we have more functions lined up."
Izaan smiled tiredly at Elaf who rested her head on the pillar just like him. She followed his line of vision. Safwa was now making small conversation with Zimal and Sarim was putting in his witty replies every now and then, making her both laugh and annoyed.
Izaan turned to her.
"You are down bad aren't you?"
Elaf chuckled.
"I can say the same about you."
"I'm not in denial. At least about this. Been down bad for six years now or more."
Elaf again glanced at Safwa and Sarim.
"Same, Izaan. Same."
A comfortable silence fell between them.
"But we are at least somewhere."
"I know. Your guy's sickly sweet smile hasn't left his face for a week now."
She hit him on the arm but couldn't deny. Sarim Haider in love was just something else.
"What's stopping you though?"
Izaan's smile vanished.
"Everything."
"Everything about you or your relationship with her."
"A bit of both I guess."
Elaf nodded understandingly.
"I know this feeling you know. Not to the extent you do but close. This feeling of not being enough when the other person is everything you've ever wished for and more. Not being enough because they are so perfect that you just don't know what to do?"
"Something like that, yeah."
"But now that Sarim and I are both wholly into this, I realize that this isn't a decision you can take. It's their choice. You can be a stack of hay for all your worth, which none of us are, by the way but that's not the point. The point is even if you're nothing, you can't make this choice for them to not love you. That's on them. That has to be their decision."
"But when you know moving ahead is not going to end well for the both of you? That at one point, it would be more toxic for her than it would be for me?"
"You are trying to justify what you did years back, aren't you?"
"I'm just trying to tell you where I was coming from."
"Did you tell her that?"
Izaan was tongue tied.
"Here, you have it. All these explanations should go to her, Izaan. She deserves it more than anyone. You guys were goals for all three of us, the only thing you did wrong was not talking it out with her when your family situation was going south, when Bisma auntie told you things about your and Safwa's relationship, you should've made her a part of this discussion. Telling her your thoughts and hearing from her. I know she can be an emotional fool at times but if you ever thought it was going to be toxic for her, you should've made her understand it instead of breaking things off. She deserved that much from you."
He was again looking at Safwa who had now realized whatever these two were talking about was about her because she was looking agitated all of a sudden.
"Just make your mind about what you want to do. Include her in it and from there on things will make sense. Hopefully."
Elaf silently left his side after patting his arm. Safwa was looking at him now. Her stare had accusation, resignation and..... and love.
It was always love when it came to Safwa Kirmani.
_____
Irma chose the farther corner of the living room to get some fresh air. She was in a nice mood but it all came crashing down when she found herself in the company of some middle aged women who were mutual friends of her parents, Atif and Bisma.
The same pattern followed. Starting from how she was doing, trying to elicit information out of her about her life and then commenting on it.
How she was ruining her ripe years.
How she was denying her daughter a normal life
How she couldn't go on long without a husband by her side
She wanted to brush it all off but as always these talks had affected her. She was doing a fantastic job as being a single mother but for some reason the society had always shown its reservations in accepting her. They wanted her to bend to the norms, marry again or let Mohid in her life as Zimal's father, never did these people try to know what Zimal's father's stance was on being in her life, also how she was doing so fine without a husband and didn't need one.
She was grateful for having a family who supported her in everything. Friends who were in awe of whatever she had going on for herself but these discouraging talks had always made a dark lodging in her mind no matter how much she tried not letting it affect her.
"I was looking for you everywhere."
She looked up and smiled seeing Memoona auntie. Izaan's affectionate mother was everyone's favourite for the kind woman she was.
"You needed anything, auntie?"
Irma asked but Memoona shook her head, taking the seat next to her.
"I just realized it's been a long time since I haven't talked to my Irma Beti. How are you and how's life?"
Irma shrugged.
"Life's good and I'm good too."
"Really? Safwa told me you were acing the spot of guest lecturer. That is just so amazing."
Irma's smile widened.
"It is. The students are cool and intelligent. We always have a very fruitful discussion in the class."
The conversation flew after that. Irma talked about her lectureship, her job, Zimal and how she was so sharp at such a young age and Memoona auntie listened to everything with a proud smile.
"I see you're happy."
Irma thought and then nodded.
"I'm."
Memoona auntie held her chin in a motherly manner.
"That's great because daughters look the most beautiful when they are happy. No matter what they are doing in life, they should be happy about it and if they are, we should be proud of them for choosing their happiness."
Irma tried controlling her tears. She hugged Memoona auntie sideways.
She didn't need to worry about anyone else when she had such wholesome people around her. So full of love.
_____
"I really can't believe you had your dress shopping left."
Sarim grumbled as he drove through the busy Karachi road. Elaf glared at his form and huffed.
"Stop being overdramatic. Safwa and I selected the dress a week back. It's just that I forgot to pick it up."
"Typical."
She narrowed her eyes at his smugness but then started looking into the bag in her lap. Tomorrow was Hesham and Zonish's main wedding event and she had to have her things ready because knowing Safwa she was going to drag her through hell the whole day. The girl was something else when it came to dresses and dressing up.
"Oh no!"
Sarim glanced at her questionably when she looked up from her shopping and Sarim already knew whatever she was going to say wasn't good.
"Jhumkay!"
"Is that a code word for something?"
"Sarim, Jhumkay! I forgot to buy Jhumkay!"
Sarim kept on looking at her and then sighed.
"Should I reverse it?"
"Yes, Please."
"No, problem, Ma'am."
Elaf giggled. A pissed Sarim was a sight. Hotter in a way. Not that she'd ever tell him.
They arrived at the shopping complex again and Elaf immediately leapt out of the car without even waiting for him. Clearly these Jhumkay were important.
Sarim took his time parking the car and in doing so, his eyes fell over the commotion to the next spot.
He saw a man telling off his wife in the packed parking lot. Sarim's face showed the displeasure. A scum.
And then that man turned.
Indeed a scum.
Sarim didn't know what came over him but he shut the sane part of his mind off and only listened to his instinct.
Which made him do what he did next.
Ruman yelped in pain when a man's fust collided with his jaw with such force that he was sure he lost a tooth. He looked up in the haze of pain and rage and found an equally enraged Sarim hovering over him.
Elaf was in the middle of bouncing towards the jewelry shop when she saw the commotion outside through the glass window of the complex and it was her instinct which told her to go outside.
And she got to know how right this decision was because her very own man had just pulled his inner action hero.
And she was the one for dramatics in the relationship.
Almost running towards the crowd where people were trying their best to contain Ruman while Sarim was standing with a relaxed posture, Elaf pushed him and, holding his hand, almost ran towards the car.
"Sarim Haider, don't look like you're about to use your military lineage! See sense and drive!"
She almost shouted. Sarim sighed and fumbled with his car keys when the first sign of discomfort showed on his face.
"What?"
"I think I sprained my knuckles."
Elaf could cry. Not at his heroism, but his stupidity.
"Get away. I will drive."
She proceeded to exchange seats with him sitting in the car and in doing so, almost fell over him. His answer was a chuckle the rumble of which she felt in his chest as she was glued to it anyway.
This was so bizarre.
_____
When Manzoor opened the gate of Haider Residence, he hadn't anticipated the spectacle that he found but needless to say it left a smile on his face.
"Careful."
Elaf muttered as both of them entered the living room. To her utter shock, Sarim had wound his arm around her back for support.
"According to my knowledge, your knuckles are sprained, not your whole goddamn arm!"
"But the whole arm is numb."
"So is your sensibility."
"Ouch. That was harsh."
They found the whole Haider clan in the TV lounge and Elaf realized explaining this situation was more ironically comical than anything she had ever done.
At the end the reactions of the family varied.
Farwa was amused, Irma was grinning, Dodo was sleeping.
Zimal and Nauman wore the same disapproving expressions though. Sarim gave them a challenging look.
"I need to get to my room."
He said and Elaf folded her arms.
"The legs are also numbed?"
"Absolutely."
Cheeky Bastard.
Elaf came close to him and he again pulled his arm around her. Nauman and Zimal were judging him so hard. He didn't care though.
No one said a word as Elaf led him towards the stairs.
"Oh! Mamu is such a drama!"
Zimal's words reachem them in the stairs as well and both of them laughed along with everyone.
Elaf massaged his knuckles to ease out the swelling while he was just looking at her.
"You should call Izaan or go to him. This will become more painful over the night."
Sarim was silent. He registered what she was saying but didn't do anything about it. Instead, he traced his hand on the side of her cheek, getting a stray lock of hair away in the process and settled his hand on her nape, his finger slowly caressing the scar there. Elaf closed her eyes momentarily and then opened them again.
The mild anger on his face along with care and so much love had her melted into a puddle.
They were already on a bed, with him lying down and Elaf sitting close to him.
Focus.
"Just so you know, I still don't have Jhumkay all thanks to you."
"You will have those before the ceremony tomorrow."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
That was good enough.
The door was knocked at and upon getting the cue, Irma peeked inside.
"Elaf, come on. Baba and I will drop you home."
Sarim's face crumbled and Elaf didn't know how she had stopped her laughter.
"It's okay, Sarim. Your knuckles are sprained. Your limbs are numb. We can't have you doing all the work now. It doesn't feel right."
"But!"
He tried protesting but Irma already went away. Elaf looked from the door and then at him and got up.
"I will see you tomorrow. Hopefully in one piece."
He nodded, still gutted about not being able to drive her back home. Elaf chuckled and bending down kissed his cheek.
"For a good night's sleep. Bye."
Before he could even register what had happened she was out of there.
He just smiled, shaking his head.
_____
Being the incharge of the whole arrangement of an event and everyone's outfits meant you get to take care of your mess at the very end and often are the last one to actually get to the venue.
Same was happening with Safwa. She hurriedly put on her heels and giving a last critical look to herself in the mirror, came out of the walk-in closet while putting on her ear rings.
That's when she got the shock because Izaan Shoaib was standing there in her room.
"Elaf asked me to pick you up."
Safwa got over her shock and nodded acknowledging. Her trusted driver was already at the venue because Bisma needed all the extra work and Safwa driving alone at night was something Bisma never felt comfortable in.
Well played, best friend.
Safwa scoffed but then her hands stopped fastening the earring. Izaan was standing right next to her couch eyeing his own shirt with bewilderment.
Shit
Shit
Shit
Safwa hurriedly came to him and almost pushed the shirt behind the curtain but Izaan held her hand.
"You still have it."
The look that Safwa gave him was both challenging and painful.
"Unlike you, I have all the traces of what we shared, in my life."
She tried getting away but Izaan hadn't let go of her hand. Safwa didn't try to pry him away.
"Izaan."
"Can we start over?"
She froze where she was. Izaan left her hand and stood behind her. His hands were on her sides, the same way he had held her from behind that beautiful day. That day which felt was centuries back.
He had asked her then if the words were always necessary?
Now he was asking for a start over.
The irony had a tear rolling down Safwa's cheek.
"Properly. Talking everything out. And on your conditions. Only If you want to."
He hadn't given her a choice back then.
Now he was pushing all choices towards her.
It was on her now.
_____
It was Hesham's own decision to settle down in his apartment with Zonish. He had worked extra hard to make it as pleasant and accommodating for living as he could and when Zonish visited with him a week back, she was pretty impressed.
That felt like a cakewalk.
This. Not so much.
It was way after the Rukhsati. They were both left alone at their new place and Hesham had finally decided to come to his room.
Their room.
He had no expectations per say. It was Zonish so it could go anyway.
What he didn't expect was it going something on these lines where immediately after opening the door, he'd see Zonish struggling with her contact lens.
A strong feeling of Deha Vu hit him.
"God! It was my day but at the end of it I'm still blind!"
She cried and Hesham immediately came into action.
"Are you planning on pulling your eye out?"
"At this point I might."
Hesham shook his head and helped her get her lens out. He pulled the container and her glasses from the open pouch on the dresser and after securing the contacts, pushed the glasses on her face.
"Here you go. Even with glasses you make a beautiful bride."
Zonish was silent and then she raised an eyebrow.
"Are you flirting with me?"
Hesham matched her expressions.
"You are my wife, Zonish."
She stumbled at that but got her footing back.
"So just because I'm your wife you won't flirt with me?"
Hesham wasn't liking where this was going.
"This isn't what I meant."
"Oh you sure didn't!"
If they were any normal couple, flirting wouldn't even have entered the chat. They would be doing lots more but since they were Hesham and Zonish, they started with a discussion. On flirting.
Happy Marriage.
____