I moved to the next page and kept reading, todays mission was progress, we took down a Hydra base and got all personal behind bars, some took their own lives, but beside from that mishap, it was a good mission, so now I'm enjoying a book from the library.
I've never read Pride and Prejudice, but Simmons suggested it a long time ago and I had forgotten to pick it up and read it because I was busy, so when I spotted it on one of the shelves, I picked it up and began to read it, it was good so far, and Simmons had a good recommendation.
When I reached the next chapter, It was taken from under me and I looked over to see an upside down Steve, Nat, Sam and Bucky, who we're just staring at me and I looked at my book, 'I was reading that', I said, dropping my legs to the ground and stand to my full length, 'you've been upside down for two hours', Nat says and I move my eyes back to her, I have, I didn't realise.
'I can last longer', I said and then take my book back from Steve, 'do we have a new mission', I ask and he shakes his head, 'No, we just thought, you'd like a break from doing handstands', he replies.
'I'm fine', I tell him, 'I like to drag out my workouts', I said and place my bookmark on the page I left off on.
'We're doing some training sessions if you'd like to join', Sam says next and I shake my head a little, 'I'm good', I said.
________
Even though I was stuck in my book, I watched them train together, Nat was a good fighter, she reminded me of my own techniques of fighting until I became better, but hers was her own style and she knew what she was doing throughout until she stopped and had a water break.
Now it was Sam, Steve, Bucky and Thor on the mat, they're all trained together whilst I observed.
Sam and Thor looked like they would have relied on something else, for example, the axe for Thor and the wings for Sam, but beside from that, there technique, without their relied on items, was good, Thor's was better since he knew what combat was and I had actually done some sparing sessions with him in the past seven weeks I have been here, so I've impressed him enough to show him how capable I am.
Steve and Bucky though, they we're different, they saw every vantage point I did before a move was made and they infiltrated it before one of them was put down, and also neutralised potentials moves that might have been next, they we're good, I wasn't going to tell Bucky that, seeing as he'll just rub it in, but they more skilled then I'd thought about.
'M'Lady', I heard and looked up to Thor, who was stood infront of me, he's chosen to call me that every since we first sparred, but I don't mind it, he's from a different planet, so I don't mind giving him the free pass on that one.
'Would you like to join us', he asks and I look over to see Steve, Bucky and Sam still sparring with each other and I shake my head whilst he takes his water bottle, 'No, thanks', I said, 'maybe next time', I suggest and when he nods, I hear Bucky's voice next, 'I don't think that's a good idea', he states, 'she'd last five minutes and that's just me, being generous', he adds and I only scoff, put my book down and stand from my seat.
I then walk pass him and Thor and get onto the mat with Sam and Steve, 'I'll show you how wrong you are about that', I said.
________
'Anyone want to challenge me now', I said and stood up while all four of them lay on the ground and I look down at Bucky who stared up at me, 'that's what happens when you challenge me', I tell him.
'Next time Bucky speaks, don't involve us next time', Sam says with a groan and uses his elbows to pick himself up whilst I grin to myself, 'you should have tapped out when I told you to tap out', I said.
'What the hell happened', Nat says and I look over at her to see her with the rest of the team, 'I was gone for five minutes', she adds.
'I beat them all in a dual', I said, 'If Bucky didn't open his mouth, we wouldn't be in this predicament', I add whilst they laugh.
'Next time you have an argument with Bucky, don't involve us, he's already signed his death warrant with you', Sam says and I laugh to myself.
________
'Just to warn you, that's going to leave a bruise', I said as I grab a few pack of peas from the freezer and hand one to Thor, Sam and Steve.
While they put it onto their bruised shoulders, I look at Bucky, who was brooding more then usual, 'look at that', I said, 'none for you', I add and watch him roll his eyes.
'You two need to learn to get along', Pietro suggests and we're both scoffing to the idea, 'when hell freezes over', we both said in sync.
'I think we should try some team building exercise, it'll build both of your trust then', Wanda says and we scoff to the idea again.
'Great idea', I said and they look at me, 'the first one will be the quiet exercise where Bucky learns to shut his mouth', I suggest and raise an eyebrow as I look at him.
'The second can be what we can do to get rid of you', he spits back.
'Third can be...', I begin when Wanda interrupts, 'Coulson, hi, how are you', she says and then I turn and look to see him walk over with a smile, 'I'm good', he replies, 'how are you', he asks.
'Same', she replies and then he looks at me with a knowing look, 'so', he begins, 'you want to tell me what your fighting about', he asks and I sigh to myself, seriously, I said to myself, they just had to tell him.
'He's the one who started it, so I'm showing him exactly what I'm capable off', I said and he sighs, 'you said you'd behave here', he says and I scoff, 'that's until I met him', I said.
'It hasn't been a train ride for me either', Bucky says and I pin him with a stare, and that's when I realise and see his chest vibrate, like he was laughing at me, if he wants to treat me like a joke, then I'll gladly do the same and will make it a whole lot funnier.
'Come on, let's go for a walk', Coulson says and I look at him and stand up, 'Fine, as long as I don't have to see the cave animal', I said and Bucky scoffs behind me, 'that's where you belong', he says, 'In a zoo', he adds and I'm staring back at him again, 'A zoo would be much better place to live instead of with you', I state and before I could continue to sentence, Coulson stops me, 'Okay, let's go', he says and I'm following him with a sigh.
________
'Come on Y/n, you said you'd be nice to everyone', Coulson says and I sigh once again, 'He's the one that started it, so why does it feel like I'm the one that's getting in trouble for this', I said.
'I'll speak to Bucky separately, so your not the only one getting in trouble', he says, '...I know you're still adjusting but you should make it work, it's almost been two months since you've been with this team, so just try and keep some things civil', he adds.
'Civil, he's not being civil, so why should I', I question, 'Everyone else is fine, It's just him', I said.
'The team need you guys to get along, everyone's getting uncomfortable with it', he says and I only sigh again, 'I didn't mean to make anyone uncomfortable', I said, 'He's just so annoying', I drawl and listen to him chuckle.
'Just try Y/n, for me please', he says and I only grit my teeth together, and feel myself already giving in, 'Fine', I said, 'But I want doughnuts', I said and he laughs aloud again, 'deal', he says and we're walking down.
'How's the team', I ask.
'They're all okay', he replies and I nod, 'Everyone misses you, so you should come by one day', he suggests and I whip my head around and look at him, excitedly, 'really, you'll let me', I ask.
'Of course I will, you we're never told you couldn't come and visit', he says, 'your always welcome and the doors are always kept open for you', he adds and I smile and nod, 'I'll make some time then', I said and he nods whilst we stop at a cart and I'm smiling again.
________
I was walking down the hallway with the team
and through the door when I looked up to see a familiar face, 'Mike', I call out and watch him turn to me, 'Y/n', he says with a small smile on his face, 'what are you doing here', I ask before he could say anything else, 'you just disappeared', I state, 'everyone's been looking for you', I add and then watch him nod.
'I know', he says, 'I've been making amends with what I've done', he adds and I begin to understand, because I know what he's been through and endured because of Hydra.
'What happened to you', I ask because he looks like shit and probably needed stitches, 'I'll be fine', he says, 'I heal fast enough now anyway', he adds and I nod.
'So why are you here', I ask, 'why didn't you go to Coulson first', I questioned and before he could answer, I heard the wiring of his systems.
'I need some help, that's why I came', he said, 'my software got mixed up with a new interference and I need some help removing it before it destroys everything and I'm left for dead', he explains.
'I don't think I'm the best person Mike, besides I don't know that much about super soldiers', I begin but he interrupts, 'yes, but you know about the centipede serum and you've studied it, so your the best person to ask', he says, 'I don't trust anyone else to fix me up beside you', he adds and I nod and sigh to myself.
'Okay', I said, 'I have a lab downstairs', I add and it's his turn to nod, 'you don't have to do it now, if your busy', he begins until I interrupt this time, 'no, we just got done with a mission, so I'm free now', I said.
________
'How's that', I ask for the third time as he sits up and I watch his eye turn red and then see him scan things around the room, 'did it work', I question, I developed a new system after the second attempt of failing so this one should at least work and be able to attack any new interferences if any should accrue.
'Thank you', he says and it confirms that I made it work and smile to myself, I can't believe I did it, I need to write it down so I don't forget it, the thought ran across my mind as I nod, 'your welcome', I said and grab the med kit, 'now let me see if I can fix you up properly', I said and watch him nod instead of argue, whilst I start.
'How's Ace', I ask, cleaning the wounds on his face, 'he's good, I heard he got into a new class so he's excited', he replies with a sad smile on his face, 'you haven't seen him since we all rescued him', I ask and this time he shakes his head, 'I haven't', he honestly says, 'the last time he saw me, was just me, I wasn't all...', he drifts off whilst his eyes roam all over his body and I knew what he was talking about whilst I pull out the other kit.
'He hasn't seen you like this', I say for him and he sighs whilst I put everything away, 'he hasn't', he said, 'I was a man the last time he saw me, now', he trails again, 'I'm a monster and my son doesn't need to know what I've become and what I had to do', he adds and I put the kit away.
'You know it wasn't your fault right', I said, 'none of it was, Raina told you lies to help you control your powers and convinced you that she could help you control them, only for her to do a one eighty and torture you instead', I said as he stands and we begin to walk up, 'Hydra tortured you, experimented on you and controlled you, none of it was your fault Mike, they were the ones to blame for that', I said and then pear over at him, 'Hydra may have made you a monster Mike, but you were never actually a monster, you only wanted to help your son and that's what every parent wants', I said.
'It is', he says, 'but I should have seen Raina's agenda from the beginning and known how twisted she really was', he adds.
'No one could have predicted her moves Mike, she did what she wanted and didn't care who she hurt so you couldn't have known what she was really up to because you were fooled into buying her persona', I explain, 'anyone would have believed it', I said and see his curt nod.
'You should go visit him, I think he'd love to see you', I suggest and see a sad smile again.
'I can't, I'm a broken man now', he says, 'my son wouldn't want to see me like this, and I don't want him to see me as someone he doesn't recognise', he adds.
'If you think Ace would recognise you as someone other then his dad, then you really have lost touched with reality', I tell him, truthfully, 'you're just making excuses so you don't have to face him', I said.
'You might be right', he says after a long pause, 'but I need to be redeemed in my eyes before I'm redeemed in my sons and I won't face him until I have', he adds and I look at him through my lashes, I hope that happens soon because I know full well how lonely they both are, and can't live without one another, so I hope they get to reunite one day.
'Thanks again Y/n', he says when I get out of thought and look at him again, 'you're welcome', I reply and watch his mouth turn into a small smile again.
'Dinners ready', I heard and look over at the team whilst we walked over, 'your friend can always join us', Vision suggests and Mike shakes his head, 'thank you for the offer, but I have to go', he tells him.
'Come on, we insist, besides you must have worked up an appetite with laying around for the last couple of hours', Wanda says and smiles at him, 'I'm not taking no as an answer by the way', she adds and the team laugh.
'Told you they were annoying', I mutter to him but the team still laughed whilst we join them at the counter, 'so Mike', Pietro begins this time, 'how long have you been a computer', he questioned and Wanda is the first to sigh at him, 'Pietro, don't be rude', she tells him and Mike shakes his head.
'It's okay, I don't mind', he says, 'I've been like this for the last couple years', he begins to explain, 'I exhibited powers and Shield wanted to help me control them, so I took the offer and let them help me', he tells them, 'but then it turned out it wasn't Shield at all and instead it was Hydra, they tortured and used me as there kill machine', he adds.
'That must have been a lot to go through', Nat says, and he only shrugs, 'I can't do anything about it, only learn to move on and keep going for my sons sake, other then that, I would've been dead a long time ago', he says, 'so my son keeps me going', he adds.
'So where is he', Sam asks.
'With my sister in a safe location', he replies and slowly begins to eat.
'And what are you', Steve questioned this time and he looks at him, 'like you, a super soldier', he responds, 'only I never had the serum you took, mine was the centipede serum', he adds.
'What's the centipede serum', Tony asks and I could see the curiosity in his eyes, 'after the serum was lost in the Second World War, Hydra created a variation of the serum called the centipede', he states, 'I'm not only a super soldier, I'm the first centipede soldier brought back from the dead', he replies and the only thing they do is stare at him.
'If you'd like to see the file then ask Y/n, she has full access to it', he tells them and I watch Tony nod first, he looks more curious then anyone here and I know he'll be the first one to ask me.
_______
I gasped and shot out of bed, trembling and full of sweat as I lean onto the headboard and clutch onto the sheet.
Breathe, your okay.
I heard the good part of my subconscious and sigh to myself, it's been a long time since I've heard it, but it's good to have it in my head.
I'm okay, I tell myself and ease my breathing down, one, two, three, I count and then continue to twenty.
I'm okay, I'm alive, I'm breathing, I chant the mantra and relax my hand on the comforter.
When I opened my eyes, I looked out the window first and saw it was still dark, so when I looked at the time, it was only four in the morning.
I slowly got up, made my way towards the bathroom and switched on the light.
I got into the cold sprays of water when I removed my clothes and hopped into the shower, the one thing good about cold showers is that it brought me back to the present and took away all my itchiness and soreness.
________
I headed down the steps with my coffee in hand and dragged myself out, I was knackered, and still sleepy, but I didn't want to go back to bed, if I did, I'd go back to sleep and it'll be an endless cycle of horrible dreams, I haven't learnt to control yet, or I may never be able to learn to control, my mind liked making me suffer from my past mistakes, and I don't blame it, I don't want me to forget what I'd done, I needed the punishment, I needed someway of remembering what I had done, because no matter how much good I do, I know it won't get rid of the past, no amount of good will get rid of the red I've put on my file, and no amount of convincing myself that it'll make a difference, because I know deep down it won't.
I sat in the same spot again and let my legs dangle down the edge of the cliff and looked out at the dark sky and the a small beam of light in the horizon, it's sunrise now and I liked seeing the sun wake up the night sky, it was a nice view to take in, in the mornings.
________
I poured the last remnants of water on the little patch of green circling the tree and threw it into the trash can on my way up the stairs.
When I've reached the doors, I already hear the clatter of dishes and when I walk inside, the whole team is enjoying their breakfast, the staff we're here in the early morning preparing food, I don't usually see them, but because I woke up earlier and went to the kitchen, I saw them in the service kitchen preparing everything and were now gone.
'Y/n, have some breakfast if you'd like', I heard Wanda and shake my head, 'I'm not hungry', I said and then walk back up the second flight of stairs so I could be in the room for a while.
When I yawned, I saw Bucky coming out of his room whilst he yawned also and without saying a word to him or starting up an argument, I walked past him and walk towards the east wing, I'm to tired and exhausted for anyone today, so I think I just want to be left alone for the rest of the day.
________
It was sometime in the evening when I decided to sit by the window and on the seat with my book and blanket to cosy up too.
When I got comfortable, I only looked outside briefly when my eyes lock onto Bucky's, I've been stuck in my room all day and even though Wanda, Nat, Steve and Sam came up to check in on me, I didn't open the door, I only told them through the door that I was fine and to leave me alone for the day. I couldn't be bothered with anyone today and my exhaustion will only make me annoyed with the tiniest little thing someone did, so I chose to spare myself from that and stay stuck in the room, it was better for everyone that way anyway.
I don't know why Bucky was outside looking up at my window when he had better things to do with his time, but he didn't make a move to leave anytime soon.
I broke the connection, whatever it was anyway, and got back to my book, usually a three hundred page book would only last me a day to read, but I wasn't able to read much either, I just wanted some peace and quiet, like total blackout silence where I didn't have to listen to the outside noises or my mind spirally with thoughts, I just wanted everything quiet.
I had to look out the window when something caught my attention and when I looked out, I saw Bucky throwing little pebbled rocks at my window, which caused me to sigh and open my window, 'what', I ask.
'Are you sick', he asks and I sigh and shake my head, 'No I'm not, what do you want', I ask.
'Nothing', he's quick to reply, 'why aren't you coming out of your room', he asks.
'Because I don't want to, now leave me alone, Please', I said and when I make a move to close the window, he stops me again, 'you haven't gotten back at me yet, do you want to lose and surrender now then', he says and I only sigh, I don't have time for this, nor do I have the patience.
'Just leave me alone Bucky, take the win for all I care, I don't care', I said and shut the window before he could say anything else to me.
I pushed the book back out of my lap and just laid down where I was, I definitely can't be bothered with anyone today.
________