*I highly recommend listening to the song above while you read the chapter. It sets the mood just right :)
The familiarity of the chaos the road of Karachi is, was the first indication of homecoming, a kind of warm welcome infused in smoke and dust. This city was never changing and its people loved it that way.
Hesham swiveled the steering to turn a corner. His eyes were focused on the road. He was humming along to a tone that was playing from the stereo. He took a fleeting glance of his sore knuckles, bruised and mildly stinging and then looked ahead again. He was used to this by now. The routine, never changing cycle and whatever came with it.
Six years back when he had ventured into the criminal world as a lawyer, he hadn't expected it to be all roses and rainbows but in the beginning, the twisted ways humans can work and the extent to which they can go to hide their dirty laundry had him shocked as well. Ansar Minhaj was at his back guiding him through every case he was assigned. The man never looked baffled by all this, used to it with years into the profession. His flawed yet accurate experience gave Hesham a good insight of what he was getting into.
Atif hadn't doubted his abilities but in the beginning even he was a bit perturbed. He was a high profile lawyer running a law firm but more than that he was also a father who loved his only son to bits. Not only Atif, even his friends were initially not that happy with the course he had taken, especially Safwa.
But Hesham was unfazed and determined and slowly, through all the murk that the criminal world is, he finally got the hang of the things and now he could play this game anytime and anywhere. He had built sources and made his way to big lobbies through the cases that he had taken up, won some and lost some too. It was different from what he had seen his father doing all his life. He couldn't sit in his office and work through the details. He had to go out there, test his own limits, put his mind through riddles and use his hands.
He wouldn't say he was completely clean. This was the reality of his professional work. Sometimes, for the greater good, you have to compromise on smaller things. But that didn't mean he had ever compromised on what he believed in. He just learned how to use the tactics of the sharks he was surfing around.
The career lines of his friends were very distinct from his so he never actually expected them to understand the intricacies, just like he wouldn't know shit about a heart surgery, workings of a mechanical process and the points to keep in mind during a business meeting. These were the areas of expertise of his cardiothoracic surgeon, head engineer, and CEO best friends.
The only person who was somewhat close to him in this mayhem was, not so surprisingly, Zonish. She was a badass journalist as Hesham always knew she would be and she also knew how to play her cards and use her sources. Both of them hadn't lost contact even when they got busy in their lives professionally.
Because they kept on colliding and on more occasions than Hesham could count, they partnered up, just like old times. And what a partnership it was, a fearless lawyer and a no shit journalist. Hesham could say his most memorable wins as a lawyer were mostly those where Zonish was working with him.
She had changed over the years, not losing her core spirit. Not in the slightest but she had warmed up to her family. Her rapport half brother had formed into something Hesham could only call wholesome. She was cordial with her step mother and with her father, she had resorted to getting all the love and giving it back as well, something she had missed out on for a big chunk of her life. He was happy for her.
She was even friends with Safwa now. How that had happened he didn't know but he was mainly the reason behind it. Worrying over him when he was out there fixing someone's face for them and catching proverbial demons, they had bonded over cursing him and wishing for his safe return. It was a flex on his part. Hesham grinned as he parked his car into the designated area of the restaurant.
He got out and stood there for a while just admiring the building. The road he had just driven on would turn the corner and that would lead straight to their university campus.
A place that held a plethora of memories for all of them.
Hesham shook his head and taking off his shades, entered through the huge doors. The interior was bland, indicating the restaurant hadn't been in use for months now. That was never the state of it when they all frequented it.
Granna's had their best days scattered in its nook and corners. Birthday parties, pre exam stress relief, post exams celebration, something to discuss? Let's go to Granna's. Something to ignore? How about having our favourite shakes at Granna's, they celebrated Safwa's birthday here, Sarim's every little achievement, Elaf loved their chocolate shake and scones, Izaan always preferred the seat opposite to the window and no one ever called him out for it, They had celebrated Safwa and Izaan's love here. Elaf had told them about her new living arrangements at the Durranis here only. This wasn't just a restaurant. It was their space, had been for years before they all got lost in the dust of life and nothing remained the same after that.
Hesham found Aneeqa coming towards him and he immediately schooled his expressions.
"How are you doing, Aneeqa?"
He asked conservationally. She smiled at him.
"I'm doing good, sir. It's nice to see you after so many days."
The mirth in her voice gave him the idea that she'd been a witness to her boss cursing him when he was MIA.
"Where's the Satan queen?"
Aneeqa pointed towards the more inside wing of the ground floor where the kitchens were situated and found Safwa sitting there with an old woman. Mrs. Khalid. She was the owner and apparently the Granna on who's name this restaurant was. Hesham smiled and made his way towards the two ladies. No hesitation in his steps. He was always invited because it was about Safwa.
Safwa gave him a cursory glance and Hesham chuckled seeing her eyes had narrowed. She again turned to Mrs. Khalid, who had a sad smile on her face.
"This place holds memories for me. In fact a huge part of my life. It was what my husband left for me when he died almost twenty years back. I had my family. My sons and daughters. I had to support them. And that's what I did. This place started as a very modest roadside cafe. I don't know if it could be called that or not. But we grew in the business and in clientele. The essence of the place remained the same though. At the start of this year when my son asked me to wrap the business and move in with him and his family. I was confused and conflicted. But every good comes to an end. I'm leaving the country so I can't keep it. My only hope was finding a buyer who'd understand the sentiments this place has. It has stories. It has emotions. I've seen groups of friends coming here on their first day of university and then having their final farewell here as well after convocation. It's something very surreal."
She looked around at the walls which had been her home for almost two decades now.
"I'm glad it's going in your hands, Safwa. You also have memories here. I believe you'd take good care of it."
Safwa held her hand in hers and gave her a reassuring smile.
"You can always come here whenever you visit Pakistan. I can assure you, you will find it running better whenever you visit."
"I'm looking forward to it. Thank you so much for everything."
Mrs. Khalid got up. The paperwork was in the lawyer's hand. Mrs. Khalid was definitely here to hand over the keys to Safwa.
They watched Mrs. Khalid walked out of there with her grandson, a boy almost in his early twenties. Mrs. Khalid's eyes were constantly roaming around but then she shook her head and sitting behind him on his bike left the place.
The lawyer informed them of the further processing which was just the transfer of the property on Safwa's name. It was her own purchase. Not an investment on the company's part. The legal and official paperwork was going to take some time but the restaurant was hers now.
"Congratulations."
Hesham broke the silence but Safwa turned around with her arms akimbo.
"Glad to see you're alive."
"Now that's not the tone you use with your best friend who came home defeating death."
Her expressions didn't change. Hesham sighed. She wasn't buying it. For someone who had shit load of money she sure was stingy. She collected her purse and her phone from the table and started walking towards the main seating area of the restaurant.
"You gave me hell for a week, Hesham Baig. Be happy I'm not considering skinning you alive."
"You're too prim and proper for that cannibalistic shit."
"Big words."
Hesham laughed lightly and hugged her sideways as both of them looked around. The same reel of memories was flashing on the curtain of their minds but they both didn't voice it out. It was painful as it was and talking it loud meant it just becoming all the more real. The reality of what they all were and what they became.
"At least keep your phone reachable next time."
Safwa mumbled. He could feel she was about to lose it. Reasons could be many. The nostalgia this place evoked. Or seeing him after days. More of the former. Less of the latter but a bit of both.
"Safety reasons, Safi."
"To hell with the reasons. I can't lose you and you know that."
He kissed the top of her head. She had always had a strong front but after getting into business and even prior to this, going through the heartbreak, both platonic and romantic, she'd harneded herself. From outside, she was a typical young CEO who was shrewd, intelligent, proper and always to the point. But from inside she was just Safwa, Safi who was afraid of losing what she had left with. This side of hers was rare now but she had never hidden it for her own people and Hesham was on the top of the list of the people she could call hers.
"Noted, Satan Queen."
She didn't comment on the bizarre nickname he had given her. Both of them remained quiet for a while and then started with the inspection of where and how the renovation would be needed and what her plans were for the place. She looked excited and Hesham couldn't be happier. She was realizing a dream of hers into reality. It was her childhood wish to run a coffee shop. Her plans were still the same.
"Did you inform anyone else about this?"
Hesham asked as they walked out of the place. Safwa shook her head.
"Not really. I was waiting to finally get the keys. Only you know that's because you are one nosy idiot."
"Lawyer's thing."
He stated with a grin and then sobered up.
"Tell Bisma Auntie..."
"I was going to Hesham. She didn't come to the office today. I'll ask her about that as well. Don't worry."
She waved in his way and then got inside her car. Hesham still stood there and saw her driving away with Aneeqa. Years are so clever in putting dust over things but why do they never do it where it's needed?
_____
Sarim ran his eyes on the papers once again, not that it would make any difference. He knew the clauses and points written there very well. All very promising and tempting. Any other person in his place would be dying to start with the package but he was yet to decide anything and that was unusual. Rana thought so as she saw him leaning against his chair. She was in hi cabin and when she came to know he was yet contemplating things, she was surprised.
"You're always the one to know a good deal when it manifests itself."
Sarim smiled, shaking his head.
"Am I not allowed to be confused?"
"You're. You sure are. But I didn't expect you to be confused about this."
She pointed towards the papers on his desk. He didn't say anything and Rana got the cue that he didn't want to discuss it any further. She sighed. She had seen him becoming what he was right now over the years and she had huge respect for him.
"I'm not going to say anything more. Just want you to give this some more thought. Rest you are an intelligent guy who knows what he wants. Best of luck, Haider."
Rana got up to leave holding the file she was here to discuss with him. Sarim saw her leaving. He picked up his mug of coffee and stood in the window of his cabin. The stunning view of New York city was his vantage point. The highs and lows all spread out in front of him covered by the unmarred blue sky. Sarim ran a finger on the periphery of the mug. The heat infused with the particular smell of coffee was almost soothing. The weather was as chilly as it could be on a winter day. Sarim took a sip of the coffee and watched his reflection in the glass of the window he was standing in. His black turtleneck was doing fine warding off the cold. But the cold was the least of his worries.
In the past six years, he had been good at everything that came to him career wise. There were mostly hits and barely there misses. But when it came to emotional baggage, he didn't exactly know how much progress he had made.
The very stable career with a job he never hated, he didn't get much time to delve on the what ifs. His busy life covered that for him. But it didn't mean it had vanished, the past, what he had lost and how. It was there somewhere, at the back of his mind, in the secured recess of his heart, something breathing, getting the strength to live through the good memories he had. Anything else was mostly a cover, just like the sky was covering the magnificent city he was facing.
He hadn't let himself be the man whose past directed his future and his present was a constant question mark. He could say with conviction that these six years here in the USA and outside of it had been full of life and he loved the most of it.
Most being a key word here.
He could count the number of times he visited his family back home on his fingers though. During the first two years, he was so busy and so tangled up in proving himself that he hadn't taken any break. The semester breaks and the holidays from the office were spent chipping in extra money by working part time jobs. His family understood and they didn't push him to come back even for a few days.
Then he got the job and from there started a somewhat stable life. He visited that year, and the year after that and so on. But his trips to Pakistan were short, starting from spending a week or so with his family and then meeting his friends and a few other people. By the end of the two weeks, he'd be ready to get on a flight back to New York or wherever he was posted that time.
A thing about him was that he had always been self aware. He knew why he wasn't staying in Pakistan for long.
Elaf Daud.
It had been so long he'd heard this name, calling it out wasn't even a possibility. She was there with all his what ifs, all his what could have beens were about her. She was his past but felt like she never left and got infused into his present and would be there in his future as well.
When he left Pakistan years back, he knew he wouldn't be getting over her anytime soon. She was the first love of his life and till now she was still there, completely holding the same spot and not leaving a sliver of space for someone, anyone else. But he had no clue that even after years gone, he'd still be where he was, behind that alley of university wall, looking into her eyes and coming to know that they were doomed. That they had no tomorrow and no today as well. They just had the yesterday which got wasted in delays.
He had no idea where she was, there was no contact and he didn't even hope for one. He didn't let his mind wander to the possibilities of where her life would've taken her. That was a territory he never let himself venture into.
He didn't know if by any chance he came across her, what would follow. Would they pretend that they don't know each other and go their own ways or they'd stand there, asking each other how they were doing, testing the waters and realizing one misstep and they'd slip. Pretending was easy. But all that depended on if they ever collided and Sarim knew in his heart he wasn't ready for this.
In that whole fiasco, Sarim hadn't just lost the girl he loved, he also saw that girl losing herself too. She got defeated and she accepted the defeat with open arms. She didn't put up a fight as far as he knew because the person she was going to fight was her father. And it hurt. Seeing her being reduced to the shell of her former self, it freaking hurt.
He came here to the USA and he had no clue how things further panned out for her. There was so much unsaid between them. So much that could be much more but he delayed and he would never know if she was on the same page or not.
The non-fulfillment of their story was still painful. Something Sarim never let himself go deep into because then there was the same heartache and he had had quite enough of that.
It helped him in a way. That right after having his heart broken, he got a chance at a new life. It helped him get over what happened, as much as he could. So, now whenever he went to Pakistan everything came back. It had been years and over the passage of time it had gotten better but that is about the relationships which end on a note that is not a comma and not even a full stop. The lack of closure hurts and you find yourself oscillating between the reality and the bygones. He didn't want that for himself but for how long could he run away.
He might be someone who had lost the person he loved but he was also someone who knew every twist and turn on the way of his career line. He couldn't leave this opportunity. That would be foolish of him seeing what he was being offered.
He was so conflicted and that was the reason that the ever quick witted and sure Sarim Haider was stuck with indecisiveness.
He felt the mug in his hand colder than it was a while back. Signing, he came back to his desk and placed the mug there. There was no desire in him to order another or get a refill. His eyes were again on the papers and mind was busy weighing the pros and cons of the implication of his one signature at the back.
_____
The usual Sunday evening had come to the Haider household. Farwa and Irma were sitting in the lawn while Zimal was busy coloring in her sketchbook. Irma had noticed her baby was quite good at artistic areas and she fully supported it. Zimal was one bright kid because all the elders around her supported whatever she showed interest in, her Mamu being the most prominent one. Irma was in awe of their bonding. At times they were like best buddies and at other times they were at loggerheads, in a comical way. But all the time Sarim was Zimal's favourite person in the whole world, of course after her mother. Irma could never let the otherwise happen because then Sarim wouldn't let her live it down.
Farwa glanced at Irma who was thoroughly engrossed in Zimal's sketchbook.
"What do you think, Irma? Will he come back?"
Irma didn't have to ask what she was talking about. Sarim's prospect of promotion and subsequently returning to Pakistan was the hot topic in their house these days.
"Honestly, Ammi. I can't say. I know he's an ambitious guy but you know he always avoided staying in Pakistan as much as he could so I don't know."
Farwa was quiet. She knew Irma was right. Sarim wasn't very fond of staying here. They had seen it over the years.
"It breaks my heart sometimes, you know."
Farwa spoke in a pained voice.
"He's gotten all the success he always aspired for. I'm proud of him for that. But I'm a mother and I know he isn't happy. He might have everything he has worked so hard on but he isn't happy, Irma."
Irma wound her arm around her mother. Zimal looked up from her sketchbook and gave them a confused look. Irma immediately asked her to go and play with the ball to the side. She wasn't the kind of kid to not be affected by the emotions her elders were going through. She'd start crying immediately and Irma didn't want that.
"He wasn't happy when he left. It was a life changing opportunity but I could see his smile couldn't reach his eyes."
Farwa looked sideways at Zimal who was busy playing with the ball. A smile played on Farwa's lips.
"You have Zimal in your life. And your Baba and I have you both. But Sarim, he's alone there. He has no one. Yes, we are very much connected but think about it Irma, Zimal is someone you can call your own. But he has no such person in his life. The one who can brighten up your day with just a smile."
Irma knew what she meant. That left her pained. Farwa wasn't wrong. She was a mother and she could see through Sarim's vibrant life easily.
"Life has very different plans from what we envision for ourselves. I met Elaf when she used to come for you. Such a warm person she was. And I don't why it just instantly clicked to me that this is the person I'd love to see with my son. They had this connection which was profound. Subtle yet so telling. It's a shame things panned out the way they did. I hope she's doing fine wherever she is. And I hope my son finds his happiness as well. Here or there in New York. I hope he finds a reason to live fully. He's holding himself from being completely happy and as a parent that's painful."
"He will, Ammi. He will. I have a strong feeling about this."
Irma assured her mother but she herself was in doubts. Everything Farwa said was true but it was all the work of fate. None of them had any say in it six years back and none of them would've now.
They could just hope and pray.
______
"I can't tell you how relieving it is to have you people back in Karachi."
Abeeha commented for the umpteenth time, making Yusra chuckle.
"How many times are you going to say this?"
Abeeha shrugged her shoulders leaning against the sofa. Her kids were at school while Tariq, her husband, was at work. She didn't live nearby but every few weeks she'd visit Yusra and if she were lucky, Elaf and Daud as well.
"I was so used to you being in the same city as me back when you lived in your old house. Aapa, I don't have to tell you how detached our brothers are from us. Amma Jaan willed us three to always side by each other because she somehow also knew our brothers were going to get so busy in their lives. I still haven't forgiven them for how they didn't even do anything when you became homeless and had to go live with your evil in-laws."
Yusra remembered that dark phase of their life like it was just yesterday. Her brother knew the crisis she was in, yet none of them tried helping her. Consequently, she had to take up what the Durranis were offering them and how had that turned out? Horrible.
"What can we do about that? It's all in the past. Let's move forward."
But Abeeha rolled her eyes, still very much pissed at her brothers. She was the youngest among the siblings and the thing about the youngest ones is, no matter how older they got in years, their care is always so open and they expect their older siblings to act right.
She herself was restricted by her husband's mood swings but she convinced him to help them and they did that, as much as they could. Yusra would never forget how because of Abeeha and Tariq's timely intervention when they told Daud and Yusra about Sukkur, they could leave Durrani house immediately.
"But in all honesty, Aapa. I'm so glad you all came back to Karachi. I haven't forgotten the 7 hours long drive to see you, Elaf and Daud Bhai in Sukkur. It was such a long distance."
Yusra could agree with it. She was also glad that they moved back. Life was pretty easy in Sukkur. The Durranis were far away and the new place gave them a new start, sorts of. But slowly they realized their home had always been in Karachi. Daud's health was another reason for them to move back. There in Sukkur they had no relatives but here in Karachi Yusra had her sister and Daud had some acquaintances as well.
"How's Elaf? She settled right in back to her city or she has gotten used to life in Sukkur."
A sudden hurt filled Yusra. What should she tell her sister that Elaf had changed so much that the meager things like change of the city didn't mean much to her. She knew her daily drill would be the same so it hadn't mattered to her much.
"She's always busy. But coming here has been proven good so far. She's gotten a job and she seems satisfied with it."
Abeeha nodded.
"You've got a good kid, Aapa. The way she's been so strong through everything. These days not even sons support their parents like this. The way she used to rush to the hospitals at odd hours whenever Daud Bhai would get sick. I always saw Fiza praising Elaf but now I even say that you've gotten yourself a gem of a daughter."
Yusra wiped her tears. This praise coming Elaf's way for being a good daughter but Yusra knew what Elaf had lost in the process. Herself.
"Did she reconnect with her friends? As far as I know she had quite a squad."
Another thing Yusra was worried about. Elaf's routine was the same even though it had been months since they moved back to Karachi. Yusra tried asking her about that very thing but Elaf never gave her any satisfactory answer.
"I haven't asked her yet properly. She's busy but I think she hasn't yet."
"Well, she should. Now that she's back in her home city. It will make things easier for her. You can talk to me and Fiza but Elaf also needs someone she can talk to. Yes, you and Elaf share a beautiful bond but sometimes you need a friend your age to understand things from your point of view."
Yusra agreed. She was again going to try talking to Elaf about this. Whatever rough patch they were in, had passed and now it was time for Elaf to get back to her former life.
____
It was Safwa's habit formed over time that she had to do her office work before calling it a day. She didn't know how this happened. She never thought of herself as someone workaholic but here she was.
She was typing out the last points of tomorrow's meeting agenda when she got reminded of what she had told Hesham.
Sighing, she pushed her laptop aside and picked up her phone. Dialing Bisma's number she waited for a while and soon the other side had been connected.
"Phupho, are you okay? You weren't there at the office today."
Bisma smiled while sitting in the study. She was also winding up her pending office work. Something both the niece and aunt had in common but they both didn't realize it.
"I was just feeling a bit under the weather so thought of skipping. You didn't need me for anything right?"
Safwa didn't. She could handle the whole office on her own. Something Bisma was so happy about because she was getting on with years and now office work often used to tire her. She was considering totally retiring soon but hadn't told Safwa about it yet.
"How are you now?"
Bisma smiled. She didn't know when but she and Safwa had fallen back to their normal along the line after what had happened six years back. Though Safwa had changed in many ways, she still was the same caring daughter for Bisma and Nusrat Aapa. Her core nature had stayed intact. She had learned to bottle things but she also wasn't shutting Bisma out. They had lost the pure connection they once had but it could be blamed on the years that had passed as well. Safwa had matured and grown into an intelligent lady. But she was the same with people she loved and that went for Bisma as well.
"I'm fine, Safi. Don't worry."
Safwa played with her fingers and then sighed.
"I've bought Granna's building."
"Did you really?"
"Yeah. I mentioned that in passing I think. But I actually went for it."
This was the confidence in her Bisma admired. She made her own decisions and they were mostly right. She was no longer looking for others' opinions.
"That's great. When are you opening it?"
Safwa thought for a second.
"Maybe in two weeks or more. I want it to function soon. I have some ideas in my mind for the interior and stuff. I will implement those and then you all can see what it looks like."
"Sounds like a plan to me. All the best for it, Safwa."
"Thank you, Phupho."
They didn't try to linger with the call. Another change. The Safwa of the past would open up her whole day in front of Bisma but this Safwa wasn't like this. She told only those details to even her close ones which were necessary.
Safwa placed her phone on the side table and finished her document, turned her laptop off. She pulled her hair up in a loose bun and stood in the window of her room. The balcony door was closed to not let the cold air in. The window was bolted but Safwa liked the night view through it. She snuggled into her sweater.
She wasn't a person to hold grudges. She let the time work its wonders and over the passage of it, she and Bisma had found some semblance of their relationship back. Safwa had accepted her in her life back but she wasn't the same Safwa anymore and Bisma accepted it. It was a change which was necessary.
She was on the same terms with both Hesham and Sarim. But the two people she didn't know how, got out of her life very silently were Izaan and Elaf.
Elaf's case was different. Safwa closed her eyes thinking of that known stranger who hadn't left a trace of herself as she took her leave from their lives. Safwa had stopped thinking about this. It was just pain and nothing more.
And Izaan. He was there. But was he? Safwa couldn't say.
She had seen him making his way through life but that was it. They were on talking terms but what two people who had nothing and everything between them could possibly talk about? He was there, in the periphery of her life, riding the waves of his own life but that was it. Safwa had told him she couldn't be his friend and he had respected that. So, here they were. Nothing. But still hanging there, somewhere.
Because kidding herself or anyone was not something Safwa could do. She was till in love with him. The souvenir of what they shared once was there in her closet. On the days she got reminded of how they had loved each other, she'd open her closet and take that shirt out. Feel him. It was strange. Feeling a person like this who was very much alive and still there somewhere in your life. He hadn't shunned her out nor had she. But both of them never spoke of what was between them or was still there. For a total stranger who happened to see them at a gathering in Baig House or Haider Residence would think oh, friends of friends. But no one would be able to make the wild guess that these two people were once each other's idea of happiness and forever.
Forever never stays.
Safwa pulled the heavy curtains around the window and coming to her bed, lay down closing the bedside lamps.
Forever is a sham.
She'd tell anyone who ever wanted her advice on the grand notion of love and infinity.
____
"How many times have I told you that you don't have to do kitchen work after getting home?"
Yusra scolded her daughter who just shrugged and kept on cleaning the shelf.
"It's not so much work anyway, Mama."
Elaf said. Yusra watched her daughter. Clad in her simple long shirt with trousers, she had her cardigan on and her long hair a bun supported by a clip. Simple and so Elaf.
"How many months have it been since we got back to Karachi?"
Yusra asked tentatively.
"Almost 6."
A short response.
"I see. Haven't you come across any of your friends or even acquaintances during this whole time?"
Her swiftly working hand stopped momentarily and then she got back to the task in hand.
"Not really."
"Then you should contact them yourself, no? Now that we are here and we aren't going to leave. Getting in touch with your friends will..."
But Elaf cut her.
"I don't think they'll be thrilled to see me. I cut things off at a bad note. Also, Karachi's life is running, Mama. I never realized it as much as I do now. Everyone's just pushing forward. I'm so busy these days. I'm sure Mrs. Shoqat is getting annoyed with how tired I'm when I get to her house to teach her kids. She might fire me next month. I have to take care of that as well. You paid the bills of electricity and gas? If you haven't, give it to me. I'll do it tomorrow on my way."
Just like that, the topic was closed for discussion. Yusra gave Elaf a hurt look which she couldn't see.
"Yes, I was busy with Abeeha the whole day so couldn't get to it. It's on the shelf in the hallway. Take it from there on your way out in the morning."
"Okay, Mama."
Yusra silently left the kitchen and as soon as she did, Elaf's hand on the counter stopped. She stood straight and then leaned against it.
It was a typical cold night of January. Elaf opened the stove and bending her knees, sat on the counter with her legs closed. The warmth around the kitchen was slowly easing the blood circulation in her toes. She was always told she had low tolerance for cold and every winter that thought manifested itself.
But for the past six winters, it wasn't just the cold outside making her teeth clatter. It was her inner constant weather where everything was frozen and falling.
Six long and harsh winters.
And Summers.
And maybe springs too.
Autumn is already just a season to celebrate melancholy.
Since the moment they set foot into Sukkur, Elaf knew just one thing, she had to sustain her family. She was scared in the beginning, knowing well that Durranis could follow them here but it seemed like her demand for Daud's inheritance had them rethink everything.
They never came back. It made Elaf relieved. But she was sad seeing Daud's lost state. His trust had been shattered so loudly that Yusra and Elaf could hear the reverberations. But he pulled himself back. Both father daughter duo started their work, Elaf as a teacher in a local school and Daud as an accountant for town's in charge, who also happened to be the relative of the friend Uncle Tariq had asked for the help.
But that wasn't as easy as it looked from the surface. Life in Sukkur wasn't a cake walk. Though it was easy as compared to what they endured in Durrani House but easy wasn't something Elaf would ever call it.
She understood the workings of the real world and that made her aware of so much. Her own worth and how a woman was so alone in this world even if she had a family.
She changed jobs, they shifted as well because rent would be a problem. She was determined to get her masters done as well just to have better job opportunities. But the whirlwind that her life was, everything seemed to just add up to her problems.
And then came Daud's illness and his frequent angina attacks. The first few scared Elaf so much that she couldn't sleep at night. But then she straightened her back and every time Daud fell ill, she'd herself take him to the hospital without caring for anything. She'd run behind doctors, stand alone at the deserted pharmacy in the wee hours of morning and then arrange for a wheelchair to get Daud out of the hospital once his condition had stabilized. Yusra would be with Daud and Elaf would take care of everything else.
The money was getting short every month. Elaf's part time jobs weren't helping much. The money from the selling of the car couldn't sustain them for years. It was spent when they were in Sukkur, most of it being used for Daud's treatment.
The commute was another problem. They didn't live in the main city but a town at the edge of the city boundary. It was a task taking Daud to the hospital in the heart of Sukkur from the town. The whole way Elaf and Yusra would pray for their safety as well as Daud's health.
It was on Abeeha and Tariq's insistence and their worsening financial condition along with Daud's heart problem that they decided that moving back to Karachi was a safe bet. They know people there, the city was familiar and there were better job opportunities as well.
So after 5 and a half years, Elaf was back to her city.
And she hadn't tried announcing her arrival at all. To anyone.
A broken phone was in her memory. The pieces of which were on the floor of Sumreen's room when she had that argument with Ruman where he tried showing her his male power.
It could be an excuse on her part that she had lost her phone and then she couldn't contact anyone. But that would be a lie.
She didn't want anyone to see what she'd become. They were so disappointed the last time. All of them. And now? Now she was even in worse condition than ever. Life had hit her harder than any of them and she didn't want to make it more obvious. They'd never judge her. But she didn't want them to pity her as well.
And she didn't want to ruin things too.
Things someone had worked so hard to build for himself.
He.
Elaf shifted in her tiny space on the counter. The warmth of the kitchen couldn't give her what she'd lost. The warmth of a hoodie and the person to whom it belonged.
Elaf had stopped crying. She never cried whenever she'd think of her old life. She'd never cry when Daud would get sick . She would worry but she would also go in defense mode, ready to fight anything that dared snatch the little precious that she was left with.
But whenever she thought of Sarim, she always felt her eyes welling up.
She had no idea where he was but she knew for a fact that he was thriving in life. And she could never be a nuisance for that.
Her fate was her problem. It wasn't his burden or of anyone for that matter. She had no story to tell. She had barely survived. She was no hero. Just another woman making her way through life struggling, crawling and sometimes, barely breathing.
She didn't give her much time to ever delve on the past. But sometimes she did want to reminisce about the feather like cocoon of the memories she had had. Of friendship and of love. Just to stay afloat because there were days she felt she was just about to drown in the marathon of life.
And she thought of hoodies, warm embraces and sometimes a thumb rubbing her bottom lip gently and her telling her that it was too much lipstick.
She dreamed of applause and hand holds, of leaning into someone and him never taking his hand off her shoulder. She also dreamed of a beat down car.
Dreams.
Yeah, that was it. Something once so vivid so real, no was just in her dreams.
Life's enormity had Elad Daud on her knees. She refused to fall but she was yet to stand up as well.
But she would one day.
And those memories would help her.
____
The thing about being free from a case is, you need to catch up on your sleep and if anyone tries to disturb you, they are dead meat.
That's what Hesham's life motto was but how do you kill someone who is sitting overseas and how do you do that to another one who can do it better than you because he's always playing with pointy instruments?
With a groan Hesham rolled on his side and picked up his ringing phone.
"Abay Salay! Don't you have any regard for the different time zones?"
"They are for losers and dumbwits."
"You and Izaan."
"I'm in on-call room very much on night duty, very awake and fresh. Thank you."
Hesham placed his hand on his face.
"Shoot."
"I'm afraid I like you too much to do that."
"Shoot your problem, fucker! So, that Izaan here can give you a solution and we all can go to sleep. Then they slept happily. The end."
Sarim chuckled and Izaan laughed lightly.
"I'm getting promoted."
Sarim announced. Hesham made a face into the phone.
"Don't you get promoted every four months?"
"Jealous?"
"Very much."
"So you getting promoted isn't letting you let Hesham sleep?"
Izaan asked. He knew that no matter what, Sarim wouldn't wake Hesham up and hold Izaan during his night duty to talk about just promotion.
"It's promotion and transfer ."
"Where to?"
Sarim sighed.
"Pakistan."
If it were any other scenario, his best friends would be happily congratulating him but they knew this was his problem. This was why he had called them in the middle of the night.
"So now what?"
Hesham asked tentatively.
"I'm not sure. I'm usually pretty comfortable with the unknown. It's the familiar and known that makes me scared."
Hesham rested his head on the pillow. Izaan shifted in his seat.
"It's been six years, Sarim."
Izaan mumbled and Hesham hummed. Sarim stayed quiet.
"None of us know where she is. Not even Safwa. She would've told you. You know that."
"Yes, I know."
"So?"
"I want to take up the offer. I'm just a bit confused. And..."
He didn't complete his sentence.
Both Hesham and Izaan knew how practical he was. It was his professionalism that had led him to where he was but even the most practical minded people too fall in love and Sarim did as well. Six years back.
"You have come such a long way, Sarim. We all are so proud of you. Of who you've become. This is another step in that direction. Take up the offer and come here. You can't just keep on running away because you are afraid you'd run into something that would break your heart again. That's just a possibility but that promotion letter is your reality. Don't waste it on something that might or might not happen. And whatever it is, It is actually better than seeing the person you love every few days and realizing that whatever you had is gone."
"Who's fault is that?"
Hesham asked. There was no bite in his voice and Izaan wouldn't have minded if it was there.
"That's why it hurts more. The fault is mine. At least Sarim, you don't have this regret. Don't second guess everything and just go with the flow. Maybe what you're fearing is actually something that will make your decision worth it? Maybe."
"Is that really you speaking, Izaan Shoaib?"
Izaan didn't say anything after that. But Sarim was convinced. He had made his mind somewhat already but the fear in his heart was making him rethink everything. Not anymore. This was why he always hit up these fuckers whenever something went haywire. They'd know what to say and how to help. Izaan mostly. Hesham was just for entertainment and keeping it light.
Sarim chuckled and took out the pen from the holder on his table all the while giving a last glance to the documents.
He was going back to Pakistan.
______
Author's Note:
In last chapter my sole focus was on showing the changed lives all the five of them are living but in this chapter you can see somethings haven't changed at all. Also, Mr. Sarim Haider is coming to Pakistan and I'm so excited because well! Yeah!