Clay's mom slowly approaches me, resting her arm over my shoulder as she pulls me into her. I wrap my arms around her back, resting my head against her. She was my mom. My new mom. I knew that my mom would be happy she stepped in as that role for me. She always loved Clay's family. This is exactly what she would have wanted.
"Sweetie, do you want alone time?" I shook my head. I didn't. Maybe one day I'd be able to be here alone. But not any time soon. I couldn't even fathom being here by myself. The thoughts alone were enough to send me spiraling.
"Just let me know when you're ready. Okay honey?"
I nod my head and pull away from her. "We can go now." I look past her at her son who's towering over her shoulder. Tall boy.
Later that night, Clay's phone lights up with a bunch of photos sent by his mom. He refuses to let me see. He wants to make them pretty first. Like my face wasn't enough to make them pretty. Like his face wasn't enough to make them pretty.
I was really quiet the rest of the night. I didn't really have much to say. I didn't want to be around his friends. I really just felt like I had to be alone. I couldn't really deal with having to communicate. Something I prided myself on normally. I was typically good at communicating what I was feeling. But not tonight.
"Clay! Babe!" Nick jokes as he raps his knuckles against our bedroom door before pushing it open.
"I fucking hate you." Clay looks at Nick from his computer. I don't even turn to acknowledge that he's entered the room. I have my headphones in, blocking out the sounds of the world. "She's in her head. What's up?"
"Just thought maybe you guys wanted to cook dinner together tonight? I'm starving and I feel like she might have wanted to have a little... I don't know." Nick shrugs his shoulders. "Bit of love?"
Clay gets out of his desk chair and climbs into bed with me. He wraps his arms around me and snuggles his face up next to mine. He pulls at the ear bud in one of my ears, letting it fall loosely from my ear.
"Nick wants to make dinner as a family." He kisses my cheek to soften the blow of having to interact. The thought of them cock fighting again in the kitchen does bring a smile to my face. Warms me from the inside out.
"Okay." I say softly. More soft than I intend it to. As the words sound in my head I realize how defeated I sound. There's no way to cover what's already been said. I do want this. I just... voice stuff.
"Craving anything love?" Heat. Every god damn time, without fail, there's heat with that word. I will never get over it. I've decided. But I'm okay with it. I love the feeling it gives.
"You." I joke.
"Oh come on. I'm right here." Nick groans. The sound of his voice makes me look over my shoulder. I had no idea he was there. I just thought it was Clay and I. Whoops.
"Uh—" I stutter. How the hell am I supposed cover that up? I guess there isn't any way to cover up something that's already escaped. I'll just let it slowly disappears with awkward silence. That works, right?
"How about we do something homey? Like you know, makes you feel all safe and fuzzy inside. Kind of how soup makes you feel when your sick." Clay's voice is radiant. God, he's excited and glowing over making food as a family. He's too good for the world.
"I hate soup. But... I know what you mean. Comfort food." I kiss Clay's cheek before the two of us get off his bed. Our bed.
"Who hates soup?" Nick questions as if he's oblivious to every food I hate. I'm picky dude. Get over it. It's a texture thing. Taste thing. I'm weird. It is what it is. I roll my eyes at him.
The three of us head towards the kitchen while Nick continues on with his spiel about me hating soup. I tune him out about half way there because I can't be bothered to pay attention anymore. He's over exaggerated and funny but my mind is wandering to food.
"So babe, what are we going to make?" Clay says as he pulls the fridge and freezer open to scan the contents inside. I drop my head heavy against his arm as I copy him. I'm impatiently waiting for Nick to make a snide comment about being left out, but one never comes. He must be lost in his phone because within the next few minutes music is playing out of his speakers. He's singing along and dancing around the kitchen island while we figure it out.
"Homemade mac and cheese?" I look up at Clay before glancing at Nick spastically flailing his arms and legs about. It's a sight to make anyone smile, anyone burst into a fit of laughs. Clay and I try to contain ourselves but we only end up losing it and joining Nick is his rapping and dancing.
Everyone agrees on the homemade mac and cheese which is completely my specialty. The recipe was my mother's. No better day to enjoy it than today. I left the meat and veggie portion of dinner to the boys. I'm not a veggie girl and never trust me with meat that isn't of the phallic male kind. It will end up burnt, overcooked, and tortured in the oven or pan.
Nick and Clay fight over who gets to boil the noodles while I shred up some cheese. I don't know why I was trusted with a cheese grater though. I was bound to hurt myself. Then again I was bound to burn myself if I was trusted with a boiling pot of water. Either way I was going to be a lost cause. Bleeding was a better option than a burn I guess.
Nick walks around the island in the center of the kitchen and sits at a bar stool opposite of me. Clay stands behind me, constantly bumping his butt into mine out of boredom. Maybe not boredom, but feeling left out having his back to us.
"Nick no!" I swat at his hand as he tries to steal some of the shredded cheese from the mound of perfection. "Don't put your mangy hands in my food." He tries to correct me by saying our food but I interrupt before he can. "You didn't even wash your hands. For all I know you just scratched your saggy ball sack and touched the food. You nasty ass." I scowl at him.
"Bro, I'm not gross like that." Nick tries to act all innocent. But I've seen things, smelled things, I wish I hadn't. Sometimes just the thought alone is enough to scar my eyes, my mind, my soul. Nick could be a gross motherfucker. Then again, we are all at some point.
"Just ask next time." I pinch some cheese and sprinkle it onto the counter in front of him. "That's all you get." I pinch another bit of cheese and drop it into my mouth. Cheese is so bad for you, but also tastes so damn good. Let me live off cheese and I'll be a happy girl.
I finish the cheese and pop it into the fridge while we wait for the noodles to cook. Clay has given up on stirring. Distracted by his best friend. They're back to dancing around the kitchen and having a good time. Watching the two of them bond is a one of a kind opportunity. Definitely not something I'd ever give up witnessing. So, I jump up on the counter to watch while I keep an eye on the noodles.
"Do you only have glaive on this playlist?" I ask as the fifth song by glaive takes over the kitchen. Nick ignores my question as he finishes a verse of the song that's playing.
"Why? Is that a problem?" Nick looks at Clay for a second before shooting his eyes back in my direction.
"Not at all. Glaive is great." I smile as I turn off the boiling pot of water. "Clay you want to dump for me please?"
Nick beats him to the pot. It's like a mad dash across the kitchen to pour the elbows into a damn strainer. I swear to god these two can't get along for two seconds. It's like they don't even acknowledge that the pot is literally boiling hot. They can't just fool around, especially with me there. Miss accident prone. One swift movement of the pot and there's no doubt I'll be the one hurt, not them.
Clay's defeat has him hovering the counter in front of me waiting for the next task. I direct him quietly to grab a pan. I don't want Nick to beat him to it so I make sure that he, and only he can hear. Nick catches on too late and groans when Clay takes the second win of our night of cooking. He's down two to one. If he doesn't win the next task he's going to lose it. The boy hates losing more than anyone I know. He's so god damn competitive.
I decided to take over the rest of the mac and cheese and leave the rest to the boys to fight over. I can't let them fuck it up. There's too much riding on this meal. The last one was fucking awful and I didn't want another repeat. If I took over this, at least the mac and cheese would be good. We would have one thing, instead of nothing.
I have Clay dump the strainer of noodles into the glass pan he pulled out and the rest is now in my hands. I grab the milk and cheese from the fridge and set them on the counter next to dish of noodles. I dump almost all over the cheese on top of the noodles not wanting to add too much. Then again, can there ever really be too much cheese?
I end up sprinkling the rest in not wanting to give it to Nick instead. I can be a bitch. That's what he gets for picking fights with my man. My ego will beat the both of theirs if I want it to. Okay, maybe it won't but I can dream sometimes, can't I?
I add in the milk so it's just visible when you tilt the pan. Finishing up by adding salt and pepper. With one final mix it goes into the oven for about an hour. I just hope we don't forget to take it out half way through and give it a mix to make sure everything is getting all incorporated.
It's the boys turn now. I still have no idea what they have planned but I can only assume they'll fuck up something. Clay can cook. But Nick is a lost cause. I'm secretly hoping that Clay assigns him mundane tasks in the cooking process to make him feel involved without being able to fuck anything up.
That's where everything went wrong last time. Nick took control. He was probably minutes from burning the house to the ground. He is too sporadic and all over to place to make anything half way decent. He's got that fuck it, it can't hurt it can it? attitude. It's definitely not an attitude you should have while cooking a meal. Especially, for one of the most picky eaters.
Thankfully, Clay does take control. Nick submits to him. He has to take the L for the night. He can kick his ass in bedwars or counter strike, I don't care. Just as long as I have edible food. My stomach has been growling since we got back from the cemetery. I've just been too stubborn to make myself something. I assumed Clay or Nick would order something to the house I'd get to eat eventually. I did like this idea better though.
Bonding time with the three of us was important. Despite living together it didn't happen very often. It's happened a lot more now that we did live together. But before moving in I rarely ever saw Nick. All I ever got was a simple greeting before he ran out the door to escape the sex noises. Moving in was the best possible thing for the relationship between not only the three of us, but Nick and I as well.
As I watch the boys play chef I call George so he can get in on the action. I know he'll enjoy watching the two play housewives. The moment George's voice springs to life Clay and Nick are running over to me to say Hi. I'm not surprised, it is completely expected.
"George!" Clay screamed way more excited than he has ever greeted me. I'm chopped liver over here compared to boyfriend George.
"Don't burn yourself Clay." George jokes. Clay was so concerned when George did his cooking livestream, he had to return the favor. It was typical banter between mostly the two of them. Though, it was definitely how the banter between their entire friend group was.
After an hour food was ready and we were all way past hungry. We practically hoovered down the food we all prepared together. Attempt two was definitely a landslide better than attempt one. The hit was without a doubt mom's mac and cheese. I didn't expect a different outcome honestly.
George sat with us eating take away. It was as if he were in the house with us. One day that would be true. Just no one knew when. We wanted it now but that wasn't our decision. We had to wait for the world to be normal again. Whenever the hell that was going to happen.
"Clay, those photos you sent me earlier were breathtaking by the way." George interrupts the pleasant silence we all shared while we ate.
"Photos?" I questioned furrowing my brows in Clay's direction. I know exactly what photos he's on about. But why the hell had he seen them, but I was still being denied?
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A/N: this feels like a little bit of a filler chapter. i'm sorry D: forgive me. i'm behind on writing. getting back into work is kicking my ass and i feel like i have no time to write and edit and post and keep up to date on all the shit i have to do. i'm sorry i promise, i hope at least, things get better. it's okay every once in awhile to have a filler i hope. D:
if you enjoyed make sure you vote and leave a comment <3
much love, Ashley