Killua's POV
(Y/N)... why did you do that...?
why do all this for my sake...
your body was so cold... i couldn't tell if you really were alive or not. And to find you... where do i even start?
Gon "hey Killua!"
the loud sound of Gon shouting interrupted my thoughts. I didn't bother to look back at him.
Killua "what?"
Gon "you're not gonna get over here? we're sharing numbers! so we can keep in contact!"
Killua "leave me alone Gon..."
i ignored him and just continued to stare out into nothingness. I don't know what to think anymore. All i wanted was someone i could be close with... but even without a fight, i got them killed in the end... maybe Illumi and dad was right... i can't be loved by anyone...
'It's alright Killua... everything will be alright...'
I felt the edges of my eyes begin to burn as i thought about him. i couldn't hold it in anymore. i held my knees to my chest and tucked my head in. im sorry (Y/N)... i couldn't save you... im too weak...
Gon's POV
Killua didn't answer me anymore. he just sat at the top of the wall and looked away. I wonder what's going on...
I was about to call him when Pokkle suddenly held my shoulder and stopped me.
Pokkle "don't say anything. Give him some time alone."
I looked at Pokkle and tilted my head.
Gon "why?"
Pokkle "wait-... you don't know?"
Gon "know what?"
Pokkle then turned to look at Leorio, Kurapika, and Pina who still stood by the side of the road when we shared each other's number.
Pokkle "you guys haven't told him?!"
Everyone just looked around uncomfortably with the exception of Pina who just shook his head still with his usual blank expression.
Pokkle then pulled me to the side, away from Killua and everyone else. He took a deep breath and then looked at me sternly.
Pokkle "Gon... (Y/N), he... killed himself. and Ryuu as well."
I looked at Pokkle confused.
Gon "but... (Y/N) can't die. he said so himself."
Pokkle "he can't be killed by normal weapons but that doesn't mean he can't die, Gon. he sliced Ryuu's head off and Ryuu struck a hole through his chest. They died at the exact same time."
Gon "no. i know they're alive."
Pokkle "how?! aside from you, we all saw it! (Y/N) and Ryuu fell to the ground! they were both cold and they weren't breathing! there was no pulse, no heart beat, nothing!"
Gon "they never had any heart beat."
Pokkle "Look, Gon! You're in denial! why do you think Killua is mourning over there? (Y/N) is dead! So is his snake!"
I looked past Pokkle and to Killua who curled and covered himself away from the world.
I walked by Pokkle who called out to me but i ignored it and climbed up the wall until i stood next to Killua.
Killua "just leave me alone, Gon... I couldn't save him..."
Gon "He's alive Killua. We can find him."
Killua "...you don't know that..."
Gon "what did (Y/N) tell you?"
Killua didn't answer for a while. he just remained curled up and whimpering but eventually he answered.
Killua "he told me to find him after i get my Hunter's License... he never told me where he'll be located... he said he won't know..."
Gon "well then let's find him."
again, Killua didn't answer but he's stopped whimpering. a few seconds later, he began to uncurl as his head rose up. Killua looked at me, his cheeks tear-stained and his hair a mess but in his reddened eyes... i saw a glimmer of hope.
Killua "do you really think (Y/N) is alive...?
with a determined smile, i nodded.
Gon "i have faith in (Y/N) and Ryuu. if they have a plan, im sure it'll go well!"
i extended a hand at him. As hope began to build up in Killua again, he brought his hand up and accepted mine. i pulled him up and when Killua looked me dead in the eye, i gave him a big, bright smile which made him smile a bit too.
Killua "so.. how are we gonna find him?"
Gon "oh! uhh... i haven't thought this far yet."
Killua's smile instantly disappeared and instead was replaced by an annoyed expression and a vein that popped up in his forehead... wait is he getting closer?
Killua "SO WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU TALKING ABOUT WHEN YOU SAID WE WERE GONNA FIND HIM???!!!!"
I struggled to get out of Killua's choking death grip.
Gon "K-Killua! Can't- breathe! You-re- Gonna- Kill me!"
A few minutes later (and after i began to see white), Killua let go of me and just stared harshly.
Killua "*sigh* i knew you were only good for moral support..."
Gon "H-hey.."
Killua put his hand to his chin and thought by himself.
Killua "If (Y/N) wanted us to get our hunter's license first, then he must be expecting to be in either a dangerous place, or one that can't be reached by public... but there's still way too many candidates."
*caw! caw!*
We both looked up to see a black bird flying in circles above us. it then dropped something which Killua caught. to both of our surprise, it was (Y/N)'s dagger; the Blade of Woe.
crow "Killua! Gon! follow me! *caw!* (Y/N) is waiting for you! *caw!*"
Gon "there! that's how we find him!"
I began running towards the bird as it started flying away.
Killua's POV
I looked at the idiot who ran face-first into what could possibly be mortal danger and or a trap without a second thought. Well it's the only lead we have anyway.
i brought my head down and focused my gaze to the blade in my hand. I held it tightly and brought it close to my chest.
I'll find you (Y/N)... i promise i will...