Since I had come to the studio by bike, it didn't take me that long to get home again. About 20 minutes after my sudden leaving, I let myself fall on the small but cozy bed in my room at my parent's. „What a day", I whispered to myself and sighed. I didn't want to do anything anymore today but since it was still early afternoon, I knew I couldn't go to sleep now. Thus, I decided to listen to some music and crawl in my bed. Hopefully, mom and dad don't come in soon. I don't want them to ask me what happened and why I'm crawling in my bed while the sun is shining outside and it's a beautiful afternoon, I thought while I started my playlist.
As if life had something against me, Dark Side started playing. „Oh no!", I groaned annoyed and skipped the song. I hadn't been listening to my music for long time when I heard our doorbell ring but since I knew my parents where at home, I decided that they could open the door as well and stayed in my bed. Only a few seconds later, I heard steps that probably belonged to my mom walking downstairs to our front door. „Sofia, it's for you", she then yelled upwards. „Who is it?", I shouted back even though I was quite sure it was Niko. Who else would follow me after I had left without an obvious reason?
But since I didn't want to see either him nor anyone else, I quickly added: „No matter who it is, tell the person I don't want to be on my own right now!" I knew that would have consequences and my mom would ask me all the questions I didn't want to be asked right now but I wanted to talk to Niko or anyone else even less. I heard my mom telling the person of whom I still didn't know how it was to leave and apologizing before I heard someone walking upstairs.
That doesn't sound like my mom's steps. They are to... heavy, I wondered before I heard someone knocking on my door. But before I could tell the person to leave me alone, the door opened and Tommi appeared. „Sorry", he said before he sat down on a free space on my bed. „What do you apologize for", I asked him confused. I wasn't only confused by him apologizing because he hadn't hurt me in any way but also by his presence. Actually, I hadn't expected him to follow me since he had warned me about Niko and I didn't really listen to him but still believed Niko wouldn't ever hurt me.
„For not respecting your wish to be alone for example. But I don't want you to be alone right now and wondering about what I had meant with my words and about Niko's actions. I didn't plan to tell you about the problems in Linnea and Niko's relationship but I feel like I need to do it before you think of worse things or, the opposite, fall for Niko." I looked at him, not knowing what he'd tell me now. Did I even want to hear that?
I didn't know what exactly the trigger was, but I felt my walls building up. I didn't want him to be close to me, I didn't want him to know about my thoughts and feelings right now. Maybe because I knew I didn't have his support when it came to Niko, I knew I couldn't talk to him about these feelings that I couldn't understand myself because he'd try to keep away from him. I sat up, pulling my knees close to my upper body and wrapped my arms around them. I would have liked to burry my head on my knees and look down but I didn't want to block my best friend that harshly, so I decided to look at him with a probably quite empty gaze, waiting for him to tell me things I didn't want to hear about.
But before he could start talking, I clarified that Niko and I were only friends and I wasn't falling for him. I wasn't really sure about that because I felt so comfortable and almost loved near him but now I didn't want to tell Tommi about that right now. Tommi sighed as answer before he said that he couldn't believe me were only friends but if we were „that would be good for all of us". I really couldn't understand why he was thinking that bad of one of his best friends if it came to relationships even though I kinda had an idea what he was going to tell me. I still defended Niko although he was the reason why I had left that early. Well, he and Joonas, or even better: the kiss that had happened between them.
„Sofia, I really don't wanna tell you about that but...", he started but I interrupted him. „Just tell me know, the earlier you start the earlier you will finish." Tommi nodded before he started telling me the story he wanted to tell me about. „Niko had a relationship a few years ago. As I said, I was friends with the girl, Linnea, so I know a lot about what happened. The relationship was quite toxic, especially because of Linnea's jealousy but Niko wasn't innocent either. Linnea has been very jealous and Niko couldn't deal with that.
He did the worst thing you could probably do in such a situation: He hid everything from her that could make her jealous. She couldn't take a look at his phone, he always prohibited that. That made her even more jealous because she thought, he hid things because she shouldn't see that and the only things she thought she shouldn't see were other girls he chatted with. So, hiding everything from her made her even more sure about her assumption that Niko cheated on her. As you can see, they were in vicious circle and the relationship became even more toxic", Niko explained.
Even though I listened to him carefully and thought about his words, I couldn't see the problem. Yes, hiding chats from her wasn't the smartest thing to do but he wasn't a bad boyfriend because of that. On the contrary, in every other relationship with a less jealous girl, there wouldn't be any problem. So, why should there be a problem if he was in relationship with me, I wondered and asked a similar question to Niko – just that I said „in a relationship with a less jealous girl" instead of „with me".
„Because she wasn't totally wrong", Niko answered looking into my eyes. „Wait, what?", I asked with my eyes wide opened. „You don't want to tell me he actually cheated on her, right?" I tried to make sure. I guess I sounded not only confused but also shocked which probably was understandable in my situation. Especially because Niko had told me about his ex being jealous and him hiding things from her but he had assured me he never cheated on her! So, one of them was lying. Either Tommi or Niko.
I had no idea whom I should believe. Tommi, my best friends for years, the boy I could almost always talk to, who protected me and was there when I felt bad? Or Niko who I felt extremely comfortable with, where I could be exactly the person I was, the man I could talk to even about all my insecurities and the person I maybe wanted to be? The man who seemed so honest to me? So many questions and no answers. Again. But there was still some hope. Maybe he hadn't cheated on her by having sex with another girl but maybe in a way that not everyone would define as cheating.
„Niko chatted with lots of girls, also with those about whom he knew that they were in love with him. But they didn't chat about trivial things. I don't know if he has already told you about that but he loves memes, also sexual ones. And he loved to send them to many people – for example these girls. So, Linnea knew he was chatting about sexual stuff with girls that loved him and he knew that. And Linnea wasn't allowed to know about what exactly they were chatting about but she once saw messages that seemed to be part of 'phone sex' if you know what I mean. I don't how much he chatted with them about sex and stuff like that or if he had met the girls or actually fucked them but I can't rule it out."
I was shocked. Definitely. I couldn't imagine Niko as a boy who did such mean things. Even if he didn't practically cheat on Linnea, if Tommi had told me the truth, I could understand why he has warned me. Honestly, I didn't want to be in a relationship with a boy that had phone sex with other girls either. But still, I couldn't imagine Niko to do that. I wanted to tell Tommi about my doubts but he didn't let me.
„I really didn't want to tell you about these things. Not only because these information are very private and tell you a lot about Linnea and especially Niko that you probably didn't want to know but I had to. I needed to warn you, I don't want you to be hurt by him. I already saw Linnea suffering from his actions, I don't want my best friend to go through the same thing. Especially because he'd be your first boyfriend. Sofia, I hope you know I always want the best for you. And that's why I tell you these things. I don't want your first relationship to be toxic and with a man who maybe cheats on you or where you at least never know if he does. I want your first relationship to be awesome, although it may not last forever. It should be a good memory."
I nodded. I could see his point, even though I didn't want all of that to be true. Suddenly, a thought occurred to my mind. „What if she told lies?", I asked. „Why should she?", Tommi looked at me confused. „Sofia, I know you don't want that to be true but you have to acce..." „Tommi, do you know the saying that you should show me your best friend and I could tell you who you are?", I asked. Now, Tommi looked at me even more confused. „Yes but what does that..." Again, I interrupted him. „Do you know who her best friend is?", I asked. „No but you don't know..." „I know her. And you do know her too. Her best friend is the queen of lies."
I could see that Tommi now didn't understand anything anymore. „What? Who are you talking about?", he asked totally confused. Poor boy. „Naomi." „Naomi?", Tommi repeated while scratching his head before I could see a change in his gaze. „That Naomi? You mean the girl that bullied you?", he asked, not really believing what I had said. „Exactly. She ran into us when Niko and I went for a walk and we both recognized her. He as his ex's best friend and I as the girl that tried to destroy my life.", I explained to him excitedly.
„So, you mean she had made that up? But why? As a reason why her jealousy was okay?", Tommi asked, still not fully convinced. „I don't know", I sighed. „Maybe not everything was a lie but maybe the worst part", I thought loudly and changed my position to rest my head on his shoulder. A few minutes ago I had built up my walls but now I wanted to be close to him. I needed his support and I felt like he wasn't sure about Niko being such a bad boyfriend anymore.
Tommi looked at me, shook his head in disbelief and put his right arm around me. „What a mess...", he whispered and I couldn't agree more. The situation was a mess, my mind was a mess, my feelings were a mess but I knew I wouldn't have to cope with them alone. My best friend, my teddybear was there to support me. In that moment, I was sure everything wasn't as bad as I had expected and Niko would be great boyfriend but in that moment, I had totally forgotten the kiss between Niko and Joonas...
Well... What do you guys think? What did Niko do, what didn't he do?