TW// Anxiety and trauma induced episode
"George? What are you doing here?" I say frozen, staring at him from the end of the hallway. George turns, and then just shrugs.
"I wanted to come home." He explains simply.
"You haven't been home in weeks."
"I know."
My face twists in confusion, as I fold my arms over my chest. "So you just randomly decided to show up then? Why aren't you at wherever you've been staying?"
"I wanted to get away from Schlatt so I came to see Dream and Sapnap, Eret's out of town."
"So are Dream and Sapnap."
"Where?"
"Ask Punz, I've got no idea." I lie. George is far too close to Schlatt and the Manburg administration to let them know about potential military alliances, and I've been explicitly told to keep my mouth shut.
Not that I'd ever listen to what Dream tells me to do, but in this instance, it makes sense enough for me to agree.
"Did they go together?"
"No, Eret went to visit a friend or something, and he's coming back in an hour or so anyway, Dream and Sap are gone until at least late tonight or early morning tomorrow."
"What are they doing?"
"Fuck if I know, and why so many questions? You're not getting any information out of the hostage."
"I just want to know where they went, I want to talk to them." He states simply.
"Well, they're not here, so you can run back to Quackity and Schlatt and let them know all about it."
"I'm not working with Schlatt, I hate him." George argues.
"That's really great George." I responded tiredly, walking past him and into the kitchen, and start to pull out bowls and plates. I can see his lips purse in affront when I glance up.
"You staying for dinner?" I ask, turning around to search for the pantry. At first, there's only silence from him.
"I didn't think you'd want me too." He admits quietly. I turn back around to look at him, potatoes clutched in my hands.
"George, I meant it when I said I didn't care about what you did. Yeah, I'm disappointed that you're apart of Schlatt's regime, and that you're kind of too much of a pussy to do what needs to be done, but, I don't hate you and if you want, stay and have dinner with me and Punz."
I slam the bag down, looking into the fridge for steak, as Punz walks in through the front door.
"Oh thank god you're actually here, I was scared you were going to try and run- hey George! How's it going dude?"
"Hey Punz." George replies, watching Punz set down the last of the swords against the wall.
"What are you doing here?" Punz asks, as he straightens up. George hesitates.
"He's having dinner with us." I jump in, looking at Punz. "You know one time I'm going to do a runner on your watch just so Dream gets mad at you."
"You suck, you know that?"
"No shit, you can say bye-bye to that little bonus he gives you."
"Going after my money now are we? Dirty play Ro."
"So, are you just okay with being back here?" George interrupts suddenly, looking very concerned. I laugh, shaking my head and planting my hands on the bench top.
" 'Course I'm not George, but I'm a changed woman, rational thought and all that."
"Bullshit, rational thought. You're just a psychopath who thinks it's fun to play with her food." Punz rolls his eyes. "No, she's not okay with it, but she pretends she is because she's plotting her little nefarious escape plans behind our backs."
Both my eyebrows affix themselves onto my forehead. "Nefarious? That's a big word, where'd you learn that one?"
"So you disagree, they're not nefarious?"
"Of course they are, who do you think I am?"
"Crazy. You're like actually crazy." George says, slightly stunned, shaking his head.
"Ding ding ding." I giggle, opening up the spice draw. "We're having steak and mash for dinner."
"You know how long it took her to try and escape the first time?" Punz asks, collapsing down on the couch, George sitting in an armchair.
"A day?"
"More like forty five minutes, once she woke up."
"Which I'm still mad about, just so you know." I interject, while rubbing spices into the strips of steak.
"Yeah, yeah we know." Punz says.
"You think I'm joking? Try knock me out again and see what happens."
"How'd you do it Rose?" George asks curiously, and I have to stifle a laugh.
"Sheer dedication and genius." I answer, looking straight down at the bench so I don't crack up.
"She seduced Dream, then stole his axe and bolted into the forest."
"Seduced?"
A laugh escapes me. "Seduced is a misleading term-"
"You put your hand down his pants."
George chokes on air. "What?"
"Barely!"
George glances between me and Punz, disbelief on his face. "Where is Dream, by the way?"
Punz shrugs. "On a trip with Sapnap, they didn't say anything, Dream just paid me extra to watch Rosie full time for a couple days."
"Like you deserve the extra money, you just lock me in my room at night." I say pointedly, putting the potatoes on boil and moving to pour oil into a frying pan.
"Yeah but I have to stay alert for the entire day."
"I haven't even tried to escape again."
"I know you're just waiting for an opportunity."
"Gotta earn it Punz." I chuckle, laying out the steaks in the pan, accompanied by a delicious sizzle and puff of steam.
Funnily enough, we fall into conversation while I cook, lighthearted jokes and surface level topics, but it's easy going and it's natural, and its nice. Sometimes, I overlook how easy it is to forget.
Or at the very least pretend. I've gotten good at pretending.
Eret comes home just as I plate up dinner, masking any surprise at George's appearance with pleasant normalcy and tiredness from travelling.
I finish chewing a piece of steak, setting my knife and fork down on my half-finished plate. "So uh, I wanted to know if I can go and see Niki. I know Dream said no visits, but I really miss her and I-"
"Niki?" George interrupts. "Niki left L'manburg weeks ago."
She what?
Punz's eyebrows crease in the centre, but Eret's doesn't even betray a flicker of surprise, washed pale with a tinge of guilt.
"What do you mean she's gone? Dream just told me I wasn't allowed to see her!"
"She fled weeks ago, no one's heard from her since."
"What- is she okay? Did she take Fungi? Who's looking after the bakery?" I erupt with questions, flying out of my mouth as soon as they pop into my brain.
"She's fine, she's with Tommy and Wilbur, and she's got Fungi." Eret says calmly, and my vision snaps over to him.
"So you knew?" I yell in outrage, scowling at him. "You knew and you didn't fucking tell me?"
"How do you know she's with Tommy and Wilbur? They're alive?" George questions him at the same time.
"Dream told me not to tell you." Eret explains. "And yes George they're alive, I know because I just saw them."
"Oh did Dream tell you not to tell me?" I sneer, rising to standing.
"Ro-"
"Just like he told you not to tell my that Tommy and Wilbur were okay, so I was worried out of my goddamn mind about the fact that I thought they might be dead. What about me Eret? Did you ever maybe even stop to think that withholding that information was hurting me?"
"I didn't-"
"Every single fucking time Eret, every single goddamn time you choose him!" I snap. "When we broke up, you couldn't wait to guilt trip me into protecting Dream's feelings, even though I was dying Eret, I was fucking dying, and he was the one killing me. I mean, how could you look at me and think that I was okay? How?"
"Dream had his reasons, he was very insistent on me not telling you."
"Oh was he now?" I jeer. "Dream drugged me and is currently holding me captive Eret, I don't know if his reasons are always so fucking noble."
"Ro please-"
"Fuck you Eret." I push my chair back and move away from the table, and I just need to get away from here before I fucking scream, or break something, or both.
"You met them?" I hear George's voice in the background, as Eret and Punz both call after me. I storm down one of the other hallways in the house, trying to get away from all the noise, and people, and bright lights.
I can hear footsteps heavy behind me, spiking up my nerves much more than I really need right now, and I make a split second decision to dart, hurrying down a set of polished stairs and down a hallway lit by torches on the walls.
It's cold, slightly damp, the faintest hint of mildew hanging in the heavy air.
And it's so familiar in the most awful way possible, every hair standing up on its end, nauseous pit settling deep down.
"Rosie!" I hear voices call, so I head further down the passageway, clutching my arms over my stomach protectively. I can hear people gaining, getting closer and closer and it spurs me on, walking as fast as I can, orange flickering flames and dark shadows a blur on stone walls.
I head down deeper, and I must be close to reaching underground, closed off and pressed in walls, dampness, darkness, and the horrible, horrible chill.
I pass a door, and it's like I've been doused in ice cold water, shocking every single one of my senses to full alertness.
No.
No I can't be back here again.
How the fuck could I forget? How the fuck could I be so stupid to come down here again?
Every muscle I my body is frozen stiff, as I stare in horror at the closed door, heart pounding in jumpy little spurts in my head, fear and terror seizing up every part of me, keeping me rooted to the spot.
"No, no, no, no, no-" I mutter, digging my fingers into my hair. "No I can't- I can't- no, no, no, no."
My back connects with cool stone, and I slide down the back wall, eyes glued wide on the door in the stone. I cover my mouth with my hand, in an effort to stop me crying, or yelling, or screaming, or something, because if they find me down here again-
No they wouldn't, they promised they'd never do this again, they wouldn't.
But they would, they've promised things before and they lied, they're liars, all of them, Eret and George and Punz- Punz never even promised not to.
Oh my god.
I bite down on my palm, hugging my knees close to my chest, other arm across my shins. And if that's the room, that means I'm underground and I'm trapped.
I'm trapped again, and I'm trapped and I can't get out, and I need to get out and I can't but I need to because I'm going to fucking lose my fucking mind again.
"Please no, no, no- please, please, please." I stammer out, muffled by my hand until barely comprehensible.
"Ro? Ro are you okay?" It's Eret. He's going to lock me in there again, he's going to lock me in there and never let me out because he doesn't care, and he lied, he's a liar and he's going to put me back in there even though he promised, he promised he wouldn't.
"You promised." I sob, hugging my other arm around me. "You promised you wouldn't and you're a fucking liar."
He crouches down and try and shrink back as much as possible, but I'm surrounded by solid stone, and there is no way, no way out because I'm fucking trapped, trapped underground and in that room again and I am going to die.
I am going to fucking die in there, I am going to rot into nothing and they are going to leave me there forever and I am never going to see my family again.
"Ro." Eret says gently, putting his hand on my arm.
"I'm sorry!" I scream, flying away from him, and he's going to grab me and force me in, he doesn't care, he's going to let me die in there. "I'm sorry just please, please, please no. Please."
"Hey, hey it's okay, you're okay."
"Don't lie to me!" I shriek, pressed so tightly against the wall it might swallow me. A sob escapes my mouth. "You're a liar, you lied, you promised but you lied, you- you-"
"What the hell is going on?" Punz's voice emerges, and he's angry, angry at me, and he is, he's going to put me back in there because I made him angry and he won't care, he won't care, he'll just lock me in there forever. I'll be trapped forever.
"I'm sorry." I sob. "Please, please no- please, I'm sorry."
"Jesus fucking Christ, what happened?" Punz snaps at Eret, who's gone white.
"I don't- I don't know, she won't talk to me, she just keeps saying she's sorry and that I'm a liar." He stutters out, still crouched down.
George's footsteps echo down the hallway and my heart almost stops dead.
"Please don't!" I wail, digging my fingernails deep into the skin above my elbow, anything to escape the crushing fucking terror pressing down on me. "No- please! Please! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"
"What-"
"What the fuck is happening?" Punz explodes. "What the fuck did you do Eret?"
"I didn't do anything, she was like this when I found her!" Eret yells back, panicked. It's too loud, too angry, and they're mad at me, I made them mad and they're going to lock me back up, they're going to make me go back.
I cover my ears, pressing my palms down hard against the side of my head to try and block out the noise.
"It's the room." George's muffled voice says, spiking horrible fear, flooding my system tenfold.
They're going to put me back. They're going to lock me in there again.
"Shit." Eret says.
"What room?" Punz hisses. "What the hell are you- you mean this is the room she said Dream locked her in? What the fuck did you do to her in there?"
"I'm sorry." I cry, softly, barely noticeable, heaving in strangle gasps. "Please, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry-"
George walks forward, straight towards me, and oh my god, oh my god he's going to do it, he's going to do it, he's a liar, he's a liar, he's a liar-
I scramble backwards, whimpering, tears pouring down my face in a silent plea as I shake my head frantically.
"Stop! Stop George!" Punz calls out, but I keep shuffling until I hit the opposite wall. "Both of you need to get out, you're terrifying her."
"No she needs us-"
"I said get the fuck out." Punz snarls, and soon George's legs disappear, Eret's voice gone.
"Rosemary?" Punz says softly. "I'm going to sit down here okay? I'm not going to do anything."
Of course he'd say that, because he's a liar, just like George, just like Eret, just like Dream. Dream promised, he fucking promised that I would never- I would never have to be in here again, but they're going to lock me back anyway.
He sits down, propping his arms up on his knees, leaning his head back against the wall. Seconds tick by, I watch him like a hawk, shaking uncontrollably.
"Rosemary." He repeats, same gentle soft tone, a predator stalking its prey. "Can I come closer?"
I don't answer, I don't want to answer, because what if I say the wrong thing and- and- and-
He scoots, about a metre, give or take closer, then stops. "I'm not going to hurt you, I don't want to hurt you, I just want to make sure you're okay." He soothes gently.
"No." I croak back, shaking my head wildly. "No, no, no."
He shifts closer, just half a metre and I stiffen, barely able to talk out of fear, and the way I'm violently trembling.
"It's okay, it's okay." He says, the holds out his hand, palm up and outstretched.
I flinch.
"I'm not going to hurt you."
He promises. Like a liar.
"It's okay."
He says. Like a liar.
"You're okay."
He whispers.
"Please." I whisper, tucked in on myself.
"Nothing is going to happen Ro, we're just going to get out of here, you want to go back upstairs?"
I cover my head, drown out poisonous words that sound oh so sweet. He shifts closer, and I eye him wearily.
His hand brushes against my forearm and I jolt, recoiling back but not away.
He's a liar, just like the rest of them, but I want to believe him, I want him to be telling the truth. Maybe he is.
Maybe he's telling the truth.
The hand rests on my arm and I shudder violently, but don't rip it away. The hand travels, down my arm and over my shoulder blades, and then he's sliding in, my face buried into his chest, and both his arms wrapped securely over me, holding on tightly.
I cling back just as tightly.
He's not a liar. He's not a liar. He's telling the truth. I'm okay. I'm okay.
"I've got you, I'm right here." He whispers into my hair, holding me so solidly I think it's what's keeping me together.
I just cry, drenching his shirt in uncontrollable tears. Minutes pass before he speaks, and when I can breathe without hyperventilating and choking on my own tears.
"What the hell happened?"
"They were going to lock me back in there- they were going to make me go back-" I rasp, voice rising as the panic tries to set back in.
"No." He says firmly, thumb brushing away tears that fall on my cheeks. "I promise that they weren't. I'd never let them even if they were."
"I don't want to go back, I can't- I can't go back-"
"Hey, hey, hey, hey, look at me." He instructs, looking down at me. "You will never go back in there, I will never let that happen, ever. I promise."
"They promised but they lied."
"I'll make them keep their promise. I won't let them lie."
I don't respond, and he bows his head against mine, hair tickling my nose.
Then, I feel something wet hit my bare forearm, as his hand moves to close around it, thumb tracing up the line of one the scars.
He's crying.
"How could they do this to you?" He says quietly. "Any of this?"
"I don't know." I reply, trying not to burst into tears again.
"You didn't deserve any of it, you don't deserve any of this." He breathes, still running the side of his thumb over my skin.
I didn't. It still happened. But I didn't. I never did.
"I'm sorry." He says, roughly wiping the tears off his face.
"You don't need to apologise."
"I'm- I'm holding you captive here, in this place, with the people that treated you like this."
"Since when did you care about morals over money?" I say, and his head snaps up, only to see my joking expression.
"How can you make jokes after- after that." He shakes his head, bringing his hand up to cup my face.
"Lot's of experience." I joke, albeit very shakily.
"Fuck me." He mutters. "You want to go upstairs now?"
I nod, letting him pull me up. I tug my hand out of his though, unsteadily making my way back down the corridor with him right behind me. I make it up the stairs, clutching the rail until my knuckles turn bright white.
When I walk out into the living room, where Eret and George are sitting deathly still, meeting me with wide eyes and pale faces, and guilt etched onto every feature.
"Ro?" Eret begins softly, I pause, looking back at him with the same wide eyes.
"I just want to go to bed." I tell Punz, who nods next to me.
"Can I tell them what happened?" He asks.
I nod, eyes still glued on Eret, as my feet shuffle across the floorboards. I reach my room, an empty, trembling, exhausted shell of a human, curling up like a child in between my bedsheets, cocooning them all around me, letting cotton embraces and linen caresses lull me to sleep.
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Creaking floorboards shake me out of sleep, eyes squinted open to a figure standing next to my doorway.
"Hey Rosie." The figure- Sapnap says tenderly, creeping his way over to my bed. "How're you feeling?"
I blink, barely able to erase the blurriness from sleep. Sapnap brushes my hair off the side of my face, cupping my jaw for a moment, thumb brushing over my cheek.
"We're going to get you out. I'm not letting this happen to you again Rosie, I'm not letting you go through this again." He whispers. I'm already fading away, back to sleep, barely able to hang onto his words.
"I love you okay? I'm gonna protect you."
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A/N We had to have a reunion with the room sooner or later. I don't have much to say about this one, I think the concepts are pretty familiar, unresolved trauma and how much that affects Rosie. Next chapter there's going to be some more interesting character analysis to be found in their reactions and in the way she handles this, so I'll be discussing that in the A/N as per usual! this was just the prelude in a way, because it was getting way too long.
I hope you enjoyed!
Oopsies x